Birdhouse In Your Soul
by Panda Hallows
Summary: After the sudden death of her mother, Sam is swept up in a whole new life and an exploration of her past as well as her parents past while dealing with her growing feelings for a certain tech producer.
1. Preface

**Panda Note: This chapter has been updated on 10/20/12. I'm going to be doing this for the rest of the story so expect it to be better later on. I'm also doing the same with the sequel and will be updating that soon. **

**Chapter 1: Preface**

* * *

**A Panda Note **- I post updates on what's going on with this story or life in general if you want to know. I usually let you know when I'll be updating or why I won't be. So check out my profile. You can also message me whenever and I'll get back to you when I can.

**Disclaimer**: I in no way own iCarly, I wouldn't be writing this fanfiction if I did. I'd be out making the show and placing Sam and Freddie in romantic situations as it should be. hah!

**Prologue**

It's harder when you're too young to understand adult conversations. Words like 'Incapable' as well as 'Failure' flying around the room at speeds that would anyone's head spin. When a woman sits against a wall and sobs herself dry. All a child can do is absorb the act and learn from it as best they can.

Her father didn't even say good-bye. He stepped through the door and vanished into the falling rain. It seemed that even the weather felt bad for the child.

She could remember every detail of his face, every curve. His sandy blond hair, shoulder length and wavy that looked exactly like hers. His bright blue eyes that reminded her of painted skies and oncoming storms. They used to smile at her, laugh. But that night they only conveyed what she feared them most. The storm had reached its climax and was raging within his blue eyes.

A good-bye would have been simple enough; all she got was a look that said 'I'll never see you again'. If only that were the case, if only she could have hoped that he would remain gone. Her heart couldn't take another glance at him in the flesh, hear him say her name without the love it used to carry.

Before he left though there had been a 'tragedy' as her parents had said, in their family. She didn't understand what that meant but her mother had said that her best friend was gone up to heaven.

Her mother had fallen deep into a spiraling depression. She threw herself into her job and rarely came home, finding comfort within the arms of unknown men. It seemed it was easier for her to cope. Not having that constant reminder before her each day, in the eyes of her child. His blue eyes looking up at her in despair, need and love; that which the older woman couldn't seem to give.

The pain of her losses were hard to swallow; every time her little girl looked at her the expressions and emotions would change. As years passed she could see the shift, the looks get colder and colder until the child found her own way to cope with rejection and loss.

It tore her up from the inside out, knowing that she had caused this change in her child. She couldn't hold onto her husband and she couldn't be what her daughter needed. She couldn't even keep her dear friend from leaving. Her own act of selfishness was blatantly obvious. She made sure that her last act in the play of her life would be one that she knew would show that inside she loved her daughter.

Sighing; the older woman glanced around the ruins of a once happy home. She could see her little girl running around happily chasing her father. Cheering with glee after her mother placed sliced ham before her. The glimmer in her eyes just before she shut them to fall into her dream world.

How could she have taken that away from her child? How could she have stripped away the innocence in her soul?

The reflection presented before her was one of a tired and worn woman. Aged far beyond her years with crinkled lines tracing down her face, she was a stranger to herself.

With the appropriate documents signed, she placed them in an envelope and put it on display for her daughter to stumble upon. Glancing up at the clock she found that she had about three hours before her daughter would be arriving home from school.

Could she really go through with her plan? Could she place her daughter in yet another situation without her mother at her side? Could she make these decisions for the young girl? It almost made the older woman change her mind about what she planned to do, for just a split second. By going through with her plans she was taking all choices out of other peoples hand.

With her mind clear she nodded to herself and continued on her chosen path.

Her best choice would be to do this where she couldn't be seen by her daughter's eyes. That's the least she could do, spare her having to walk in on it and never recover.

Grabbing all the required items she needed she proceeded to walk out the front door.

Tonight Sarah Puckett would leave this world.

* * *

**Panda Note**: There is much more to come. I just had to write a prologue so if this is confusing well I'm sorry but it will make sense soon, I hope. I've been curious about Sam's parents and I don't think her dad died. When a parent dies a child reacts differently than a child would whose parent leaves them. It messes with their head. They begin to wonder if it was there fault. So they keep people at a distance as well as cover up their feelings with a defense mechanism. Etc.

Just click Review or click on the arrow that says continue. The story isn't like this if you move forward. Remember this is a prologue.


	2. Letter

**Recently Edited - June 13th, 2009**

**Disclaimer**: same as the prologue states.

**Chapter One**

* * *

"Hola viewers, I'm Sam!" Sam grinned into the camera, her face showed pure joy. Her eyes lit up as Carly joined her up close to the camera. They both were grinning from ear to ear as they looking into the camera intently. She pressed her remote and the audience cheered as she made wacky hand gestures.

"That must mean I'm Carly!" Carly stated pointing to herself. Sam pressed it again and more cheering for her best friend.

"And this is iCarly, for all of those who don't know." Sam stated in a matter-of-fact tone.

"They should know though, it would be un-fan-like if they didn't!" scolded Carly giving the camera a disapproving head shake.

"Right you are Carly." Sam then pulled back and joined her best friend. They looked at each other then back at the camera grinning.

"Tonight we've got a special segment we like to call 'Fighting Bananas'!" They said the title together while squishing their heads into one another.

They began to duel each other with bananas while making special effect sounds. The bananas had on cowboy outfits and big fake mustaches. Behind the camera Freddie chuckled at this. It was just so random that he couldn't help it.

An hour later the two bid their fans farewell and Freddie shut down for the evening.

"Great show guys." He smiled at them and they did the same. All three plopped down in their favorite beanbag chairs and sighed. Friday nights they'd usually gather around to watch a movie before Freddie had to rush home.

"So are you staying over tonight?" Carly questioned her best friend who had somehow found a chunk of ham to stuff into her mouth. She'd learned from years of experience never to ask Sam where said food came from. The girl had her ways of getting food.

"Always, I just have to go home and grab some clothes and such. See if Sarah came home yet." That had also been an occurrence that Carly had noticed; Sam referring to her mother by her first name. She had asked her once why she did that and never did receive a reply. She found that she wouldn't ever get the answer, if the blond didn't want you to know. She glanced over at Freddie and found him giving Sam a strange look. It was as if he were trying to explain something to the blond without words. It seemed that Sam gathered what he was trying to express and rolled her eyes. He sighed and went back to the laptop on his lap. Obviously she didn't agree with whatever he was trying to say. It was so strange how they had their own language with glances. Yet they still used words to attack one another. Why couldn't they just use their silent talk to fight?

Carly had begun to notice over the year the drastic change in their friendlastionship. Whenever they fought it wasn't with malice, but rather in a playful manner. It seemed that everything between them had shifted after Sam had confessed Freddie's secret on the show. She'd continued to wonder what happened the night that Sam had run off to talk to him. They never spoke of it but she had a feeling that it was the cause for their change. It was like they were actual friends who just fought a lot.

They'd only ever had two real big fights, but seemed to fix them within a few hours. She couldn't help but wonder what they would be like if they got together. The passion between them would be indescribable, like something out of a romance novel. She grinned to herself and held back a giggle.

"Well I'll be back; I'm going to grab some stuff at my place." Sam stood and strode over to the elevator and vanished. Carly then returned her eyes to the male of their little group; he was still glancing over his shoulder. He sighed and then returned to the laptop. This didn't bypass Carly's eyes. But she chose to just drop it for now and add it to her mental bank of Sam/Freddie moments.

"So Freddie what are you working on?" She moved her beanbag over to his and looked over his shoulder. On the screen was the iCarly website, except it was in administrator mode. He was scrolling through a list of messages.

"I'm just going over some of the fan messages that came in tonight. There's this one on here that caught my attention but I wasn't sure if I should mention it to Sam." She raised an eyebrow and glanced at the one in question. "It's from a man named Roger Puckett. Isn't that a little strange?"

"Well there was that one time that Sam sold that website to a guy with the same name as hers."

"Still, it's strange, especially what he wrote."

She allowed her eyes to scan through it and then returned her eyes to Freddie.

'I found myself watching your show. I've heard of it before but never watched until recently. Upon watching it I recognized 'Sam'. I wish to get in contact with her if that is at all possible. -Roger Puckett.'

"Do you think-" Carly started but he cut her off.

"Yes, I do. Sam has only mentioned her father once to me but she never did mention a name. This is too coincidental for me." he sighed and closed the laptop. "Should we tell her about it?"

"I don't know, she's been more upbeat lately. I don't want to ruin her good mood if this is just a fluke."

"Alright, but I'll just message him later and see." She gave a nod and stood up.

"Let's go pick out a few movies to choose from for tonight." he got up and followed her to the area where they kept the DVDs.

* * *

The lights were on when she got home, which suggested that either her mother had forgot to turn them off or she was home for once. Yet she still didn't feel like she should stay there for the night. She much rather preferred crashing at Carly's where she knew she would be able to eat as well as get a decent nights sleep. In the empty house she always felt alone; it creped up the walls and down the hallways. Even with her tough exterior she still feared the unknown. Safety could be found with her best friend and her abnormal brother.

She unlocked the front door and stepped inside. Nothing seemed out of place, except that there were a bunch of scattered sheets of paper littering the ground. Upon further inspection she found that there was a thick envelop taped to the picture hanging over the fireplace. Normally she wouldn't have even taken notice to it, except that it was bright lime green and practically screamed out to her.

Pulling it off she had the urge to open it right away but decided to wait until later. Her mother must have left it to tell her she was leaving again. Most times she didn't even get that. She'd just have to assume the woman was off somewhere for weeks on end. Tucking it into her backpack she ventured up the stairs to the very end of the hall, to her bedroom.

Grabbing any article of clothing in sight, she packed up and gave her room another glance before walking back out. With all the 'sleepover' items placed in her stuffed backpack she headed back down the stairs.

Something about the living room sent a chill down her spine, like a bad omen. She brushed it off and turned all the lights off. It looked ominous without the lights on. Nothing like a real home should be. Locking the door she made her way back to her old vehicle that she'd bought after working at the mall over the summer the year before. It wasn't fancy like Freddie's or random like Carly's who thought she should get a motorcycle so she and her brother could ride together on trips.

Hers was a pickup truck with faded blue paint. It was older than her 17 years, as far as she knew, but she loved it like a pet goldfish before Spencer could kill it.

Throwing her bag in the back she climbed into the driver seat and took off. She hadn't noticed at all that her mother's car was still parked in the parking lot of the condo lot.

When she arrived back at Carly's she found her two best friends in the kitchen gathering up snacks and talking over which movie they should watch. She stood there for a moment and watched the two carry on their conversation. Part of her was jealous of her best friend, for reasons she refused to address, reasons that shouldn't even be present in her mind. Carly was Carly and she was Sam. In what universe would that ever change? As she watched she noticed, like she always did, that they were more like best friends than anything else. Freddie didn't give Carly those same looks anymore, but he still did as she asked, as a friend should. She couldn't say when the last time she'd seen him give her that look, or anyone else for that matter. Sam knew that if Carly wished for her to do something, she wouldn't hesitate to follow through. She'd complain of course, but in the end she would do it. Then again Carly had her way of getting what she wanted out of the two. The girl knew how to work them both over just fine.

"I'm back guys." she threw her back off to the side and walked over to them. She was about to grab the remainder of the ham out of the fridge when she noticed that Freddie had already pulled it out and was cutting up, for her. She held back a smile and went over to him and pulled a piece off the plate. "Thanks Freddo!" she grinned with a mouth full of ham.

"No problem. I figured you'd be hungry after the long drive. You know how you get when you are away from your ham."

"Oh I do." she stated and ate another piece. "Mama loves her ham."

He laughed as she looked down at the ham hungrily. Moments like this were ones that he rather liked. When she wasn't beating the crap out of him and putting him down. Even though he didn't mind that so much anymore; he rather liked their arguing, as weird as that was.

"Let's do this!" Carly cheered, holding popcorn and a few bottles of soda. They both nodded and followed her; Sam with a plate of ham and Freddie with what looked like chocolate. This caught her attention; he hardly ever ate sweets, especially with his mother so close by. Then again he'd really grown up over the course of the year and a half. He didn't allow the woman to control every aspect of his life. Though she sometimes got her way when it came to curfew; that was something he couldn't avoid.

They all pulled their beanbags together and got comfortable. Sam sat in between her two best friends, better access to their food and treats. Or so she told herself. Somewhere in the deepest part of her mind she felt she had to place herself between Carly and Freddie, even though she knew nothing was going on with them. It was yet another thing she refused to bring to the surface of her mind. If she didn't think it then it wouldn't exist and she wouldn't have to address it.

Once the movie started she noticed that Carly kept staring at her strangely. Like she was trying to read her thoughts and see inside her brain. It was weird. Carly had something on her mind, it was obvious. She tried to ignore her best friend acting strange and focus on their movie of choice; V for Vendetta. She wasn't sure why they had decided on this one, Carly hated these sorts of movies. She much rather like comedies or chick flicks as opposed to a swash buckling man in a mask taking down 'the man'.

Glancing over at Freddie she noticed that he was also looking over at her every once and a while. His looks were different, something she couldn't quite put a finger on. She tried to ignore them both and focus on the sexy masked man on the TV.

Every once and a while Freddie would venture over onto her plate of ham, which she allowed. She could understand that he was also a fan of hammy ham-ness. How could she deny him such a treat? But his hand kept meeting hers on the plate and she'd find herself glaring at him. Not because it was unpleasant but because it wasn't, that she liked it. That wouldn't do. She made sure to keep a watch on the plate from time to time.

When the movie ended and the credits were rolling she stood and stretched, allowing particles of ham to fall off of her yellow shirt. Carly went over to take the movie out and put it away while Sam and Freddie stood there awkwardly staring at one another. This happened from time to time. They'd accepted half a year ago that they wouldn't be able to be like they used to. Some part of it was fine though, if they could keep up with some aspects of their old relationship.

"I should be getting home, before my mom comes over here and sees me eating chocolate." she just chuckled and rolled her eyes.

"Yeah, she'd probably have you bed ridden until it passed through your body." she joked pushing his shoulder lightly. "Or take you to the ER and have your stomach pumped."

"Don't say that, it could happen!" he groaned but found himself smiling. "I'm going now. Good night guys." He called and disappeared into the elevator. Sam stood there for a moment and watched him go. An unreadable expression littering her features.

"Let's get some sleep Carls, I'm tired!" groaned Sam, who slouched and started for the stairs.

Carly let the little look that passed between her best friends go and nodded. They both changed and settled in for the night.

* * *

The next morning Carly woke up to the smell of bacon and pancakes. She also noticed that Sam wasn't there next to her. Upon entering the kitchen she found her best friend standing over the stove turning over bacon as well as the pancakes. Carly had only ever seen Sam cook a few times and each time the meal was amazing. Being in love with food gave the girl super cooking skills.

Plopping down at the counter, she continued to watch Sam. She hadn't looked up from cooking, which meant she had her PearPod on. Another clue was the light movement of her feet, indicating that she was dancing a bit where she stood.

There was a knock at the door, she called for the person to come in and Freddie joined her after closing the door. He looked perplexed by the scene in the kitchen. Carly didn't seem as bothered by it and didn't answer his unspoken question. He hadn't ever seen Sam do any cooking before, just stuffing her face.

"She can't hear us." Carly stated fiddling with the apple inside basket on the counter. "Did you message that guy?" he was still looking at Sam with a confused look on his face. She was dressed in a t-shirt and baggy pajama bottoms. Her hair was a little wilder then it usually was as well.

"Yeah, when I got home; I haven't checked to see if he replied yet though." He stated turning his eyes from Sam for a moment.

"Well check while Sam isn't paying attention." she shoved. Sam continued to work over the stove in her own little world. Her head continued to bob to the music playing in her ears.

Spencer came out sniffing the air. His eyes wandered around the kitchen until they landed on Sam who was mixing more batter for pancakes. He felt that he understood the young woman more than most people. She had her little quirks that never got past him. If she cleaned she was hurting inside and had no way of dealing with those feelings. When she cooked like this it meant that something was off in her little world. Something minor but it still seemed to bother her, causing her to over think. Like boy trouble or friend trouble, even school fell into this particular behavior. Carly never quite grasped this and just assumed that Sam enjoyed cooking every once and a while, which she might have.

He strode over to the blond and joined her by the stove. He placed a hand on her shoulder and she jumped slightly and then glanced up at him. She pulled out the buds of her headphones and wrapped them around her neck.

"You alright?" he whispered so the other two wouldn't hear. He still had a hand on her shoulder, which she allowed. It never bothered her when Spencer did it.

"Yeah, I'm fine." He didn't believe her of course but let it go. Pushing her into talking would only get you into trouble. So he ruffled her hair and went to the couch to lounge.

Carly scanned over the words and felt her eyes widen. She tried to cover it up but she knew she looked like a dear in the headlights. Sam, now without her headset on greeted them and then started to make plates. Freddie glared at Carly, which rarely happened and she tried to pull it together. The words were still on the screen.

'I don't know who you think you are, but she's my daughter and I have a right to talk to her.' -Roger Puckett

Clicking out of it and shutting off the screen, Freddie tried his best to put on his normal face.

Sam seemed oblivious to the goings on around her. If her two friends were acting strange, it was nothing new.

"So guys what are we doing today?" Sam grinned as she stuffed her face with bacon. Spencer wandered over upon seeing the plates set down. He happily chomped down on some bacon while the others talked.

"I'm sorry guys but I made plans already, I should have told you." Carly stated looking at them nervously. She didn't like to leave them hanging like this.

"Hot date?" Sam asked thoughtfully, sipping her coffee. Carly relaxed a bit upon seeing how Sam reacted to this. But she also wanted to use this time to see where Freddie stood with her. If he still 'loved' her like he used to state on a regular basis; if not then her observations weren't completely wrong.

"Well sort of. I promised the new guy at school I'd give him a tour of Seattle, since he's from a small down and all." She glanced over at Freddie for a moment but he was just munching on his toast and sipping his own coffee.

"That's cool Carls, we'll find something to do." Sam assured her. This was yet another moment she placed down in her book of changes. Normally Freddie would complain about her and other boys. He didn't even bat an eye. She was expecting some sort unhappy look from the tech producer but got nothing. She smiled to herself then and wrote another note in her mental notebook.

"That's a relief." Carly replied. "I was worried you guys would be upset."

"Oh I know what we can do." Started Sam; looking over at Freddie as if she just had the most amazing idea on the planet.

"What's that?" he leaned in and gave her his full attention, yet still a little nervous about what she had in mind. No one ever really knew what Sam had up her sleeve so it was always best to be on guard.

Carly found this interesting. The two were so cute at times that she almost forgot their fighting.

"I found these weird tapes the other day at home but we don't own a tape player. Maybe you could find a way to get them to play or something. You know, use your nerd skills and battle ancient video devices. Maybe take them and make them into DVDs?" he rolled his eyes but nodded. He could get over the nerd comment a lot easier then years before.

"Sounds like you two have your day planned." Carly grinned.

"We'll find other stuff to do as well." stated Freddie finishing off his pancakes. They were amazing, in his opinion. Where on earth did Sam learn to cook like that?

With breakfast over and Carly vanishing out the door Freddie and Sam wandered up to the studio. With her backpack in hand she began to search through it for the tapes she'd found while cleaning. Her mother must have hidden them. They were placed behind a few boxes in the hallway closet. There were others too but she just grabbed a few to see what they were.

She handed them to Freddie who blew dust off them dramatically and then proceeded to do his magic. When she glanced down the lime-green envelop was still there. She pulled it out and noticed that it had her name on it. Had it been there last night? Turning it over in her hand she noticed that it was a lot heavier than she remembered.

"So what do you think is on these tapes anyways?" he found himself asking, the silence was killing him.

"My parents use to make videos, you know like some cheesy family or something." she shrugged.

"Well I'm almost done with the conversion. All I really had to do was get an old camcorder or any camcorder that takes VHS videos." She would have made a comment [on how little she actually cared about what he was doing] but chose to focus on the lime-green envelop in her hands. Should she even bother to open it? "What do you have there?" he asked from his cart.

"I don't know; it was at home last night when I went to get my stuff."

"Open it." he suggested and she plopped down in a beanbag chair. Turning it over in her hands she felt them start to shake slightly. Ripping off the back she pulled out all the contents inside of it. There were two groupings of paper in there. One set had three sheets of paper while the other had only one. "What are those?" he asked sitting next to her. She shrugged and handed him the thicker one. He read over it for a moment. "This is an official document."

"For?"

"Adoption." he frowned. "She even signed it; all that it needs is the other parties' signature."

"Why would she be signing me over to someone else?" she looked perplexed by this news.

"Let me read this other thing, maybe she wrote something."

_'Dear Sam,_

_I've written this too many times to count. Nothing I write seems to explain exactly why I have to go. I know that you expected more from me and I could never give those things to you. It should have been simple do give you what you wanted most, you never asked for anything else from me. The past few years I've been trying to find a way to let you go, to set you free in my own way. It didn't work. I've created a person who can't seem to trust anyone, least of all herself. That's not what I wanted for you. It wasn't my intention to push you into mistrust and loneliness._

_Your father leaving was a hard pill to swallow. I couldn't look you in the eyes for years; your blue eyes constantly reminding me of the man who broke my heart. You must know though that it wasn't your fault he left. It was mine. I wasn't the easiest woman to be with at times and I knew he couldn't trust in me. He couldn't handle the responsibilities that came with being a husband and father. He was still so young and foolish then. But I do know that despite all of this he loved you dearly. Don't ever question that. If only you knew how hard it was to leave you with me._

_He isn't a bad man, it was my entire fault. I did something wrong and he couldn't handle it. Never blame yourself._

_You must be wondering why I'm writing this very 'touching' letter to you. Sam, by the time you read this I will be dead. I couldn't allow you to see me at home so I've rented out a motel room. They should find me within a day. You'll be 18 soon but I don't want you to leave Seattle with your father, away from your good friends. I know that he'll want you to go with him wherever he's been living. But I know you're better off in Seattle. So that's why I've signed the adoption documents in this package. Give them to Spencer and see if he'll sign them. If not Marissa Benson will, I know she will. It's your choice. The point is that you must stay with your friends; they're good for you and vise versa. They've managed to heal you from the damage we've done to you._

_If you wish to have a relationship with your father I will completely understand. Just don't get hurt, he has a way of pulling you in and letting you down. I just don't want you to get hurt. Be careful._

_Be strong, things will work out._

_Love always,_

_Sarah'_

Sam sat there staring at the letter, her eyes burning slightly. She refused to allow any tears to form. She reread it and felt her heart sink. Continually thinking 'this isn't happening' in a repeat pattern, like a skipping record. She stood up and grabbed her phone. Who would she call? Had they found her yet? No, they would have called her. She was on her mother's emergency contact list at the hospital. She tried to calm down her beating heart but it was causing the room to spin. She paced back and forth but that made it worse. She stopped and leaned against the elevator doors.

"Sam, what's wrong?" he came to her and tried to calm her down but she was in a haze. It was as though her mind had checked out early. He continued to call her name but she wasn't looked at him. She then dropped the letter onto the floor; he picked it up and read it. He dropped them as soon as he read the last bit and grabbed Sam and held at arms length. She was looking down at her feet and shaking slightly. He wasn't sure what he should do. He wasn't used to this side of Sam. "It's going to be okay, Sam." was all he could say. But he knew that's not what Sam would want to hear. So he gave her time to gather herself.

"She's so selfish!" she snapped out all of a sudden with a dark, angry look in her eyes. "How could she make a choice like that, to just leave? What right does she have?" she began to pound on his chest, which only caused him to pull her into him. She didn't cry, it wasn't who she was. Not anymore. Instead she just stood there awkwardly while Freddie tried to comfort her. He wasn't used to doing this for anyone, least of all Sam. So he patted her back awkwardly. She pushed away from him and put some distance, not liking the weird flop in her stomach. She leaned back against the elevator and looked down at her phone. "What should I do?" she asked him looking up into his eyes.

Her eyes were glossed over, he could tell. She was lost and asking him what to do.

"Call the cops?" he threw out. "See if they've found anyone who looks like her." was all he had.

She just nodded and started to dial the number in her phone. After twenty minutes of explaining and talking with the operator the woman explained that she would be sending an officer to her location to speak with her.

* * *

**Panda Note**: Well? How's this so far?

"When the sun found the moon  
She was drinking tea in a garden  
Under the green umbrella trees  
In the middle of summer

When the moon found the sun  
He looked like he was barely hanging on  
But her eyes saved his life  
In the middle of summer

In the middle of summer  
All was golden in the sky  
All was golden when the day met the night  
Summer, all was golden in the sky  
All was golden when the day met the night  
Summer  
Golden when the day met the night

So he said, "Would it be all right  
If we just sat and talked for a little while  
If in exchange for your time, I give you this smile?"

So she said, "That's okay  
As long as you can make a promise not to break my little heart  
Or leave me all alone in the summer."

Well, he was just hanging around  
Then he fell in love  
And he didn't know how  
But he couldn't get out  
Just hanging around  
Then he fell in love" -Panic! At the Disco

Why? Because it's amazing!


	3. New Home

**Recently Edited – June 13****th****, 2009**

**Disclaimer**: No owning here. If I did I would bust out of nowhere on the iCarly set singing 'My Girl' loudly, dancing in a sparkly red jump suit.

**Chapter Two**

Spencer has always been referred to as abnormal. He accepted that he was never like other people and he had no problem with that fact. He'd also been referred to as being irresponsible on some level by others older than himself. That might have been true to an extent but he had his moments. Despite all of this he knew what he had to do and what was right.

The blue eyes looking up at him in that moment called to him. He knew how hard it was for her to even ask him this. Then again her other choice was a psychotic, over protective mother across the hall. He wouldn't have chosen her either if he had to. Her eyes told him that it wasn't even a contest worth having; he would have been her first choice no matter any other options.

And anyway, he saw her as another little sister, who he had to protect; even if that meant from her own parent. Not that her father would do anything but if it meant her feelings were at risk, then he'd be right there.

He grabbed the paper and signed it in all the right places after reading over it three times. Despite his three days in law school he learned that he should read every single word. It seemed that Mrs. Puckett had made sure to make it air tight. Not only did Sam's father have no parental rights but there was no possible way he could claim her.

Her birthday was only four months away. Within that time he'd have guardianship of Sam Puckett, until she turned eighteen. It worked out just right. Even if her father decided to visit, which was very possible, he would have no legal standing. He willingly surrendered his legal rights over ten years previous. It made sense that Sam's mother would make sure that she at least could stay where she felt right.

He hadn't really known Sam's mother well. They had only met a few times and she was quite an interesting woman, to say the least. She was much like her daughter, quick witted, smart and could be deadly if pushed too far. But Sam didn't get those eyes from her mother. No. Her mother had dark eyes, almost black and dimmed out over the years. She also had very light brown hair and looked nothing like her mother, Sam's grandma.

Sam wasn't sure what she should do after Spencer signed the paper. But she knew there was no way for her to thank him enough for helping her out. So she did what she would have done if it were Carly and hugged him around the waist. Spencer was used to this though and held onto her as long as she wished for him to.

When they pulled apart the front door opened, announcing Mrs. Marissa Benson. She was followed by Carly who had been called back home. Why Mrs. Benson was there, he wasn't quite sure of.

Next there was a solid knock at the front door followed by another. Spencer made his way to the door and opened it, revealing a police officer, tall, muscular and young. He stepped inside and looked around the room at the number of people in the there.

"Is Samantha Puckett present?" his deep voice rung through the room. Sam's head shot up from her position behind the couch. She couldn't seem to sit down after she realized what happened to her mother. She raised her hand slightly and the officer nodded toward her. He entered and pulled out a small notepad and came over to her. "Samantha-" he started but was cut off.

"Sam." she corrected and folded her arms. She'd managed to pull herself together after leaving the iCarly studio. Freddie hadn't mentioned her near breakdown once. He silently blended into the background and allowed her to talk to Spencer when they came downstairs.

She seemed to have pulled it all together and focused on the task at hand. He couldn't imagine how he'd handle such a situation if the roles had been reversed. Even if her mother had been unfeeling most of the time toward her he could tell that Sam cared about the woman and loved her. It was so clear in her eyes how the death of Sarah had effected her, without words being spoken.

"I was briefed on the situation and called the precinct and found that a middle-age woman, 5feet 7inches, brown hair, brown eyes, weight at about 140, was found in a hotel a mile from your residence. Upon further investigation we discovered that she was indeed Sarah Puckett. I'm sorry for your loss young lady." his eyes expressed how truly sorry he was, his green eyes looking into her crystal blue. She just nodded and looked around at her friends and family members of friends.

Mrs. Benson looked stricken by this news for some reason. Sam couldn't help but question why that was. She tried to think back to her earliest memory but couldn't seem to produce an image of a time with Mrs. Benson in her childhood.

"So what happens now?" she found herself asking the officer before her.

"I'll need you to come downtown and identify her body, if you're up to it today."

She looked around the room at each face, hoping for advice as to what to do. She felt a hand press into her shoulder and found Mrs. Benson standing beside her. It was the most surreal moment of her life. This woman who she had always found to be incredibly insane was trying to make her feel better. What was the world coming to?

"I'll go with you, if you want me to." Sam could only nod at the woman beside her. With this arrangement decided Mrs. Benson grabbed her bag and followed the officer out with Sam in toe. "Oh and Freddie stay put until I return." She called over her shoulder and the three left. His intention was to stay there until Sam returned, but it still got on his nerves to be told what to do when he'd be a legal adult in a few weeks.

Freddie looked from Carly to Spencer and wasn't sure what he should say. Everything about that day seemed to be leading up to this moment. Life seemed to do that to people, lead them into a false sense of security and then pounce on them. The thought that had just struck him was hard for him to process. While they were filming iCarly the night before her mother was dying somewhere dirty and alone in some hotel. What were her last moments like? Being alone and dying that way just got to him.

"Poor Sam." was all Carly could say. He nodded in agreement and sunk deeper into the couch.

On some level he understood how Sam was feeling. He had lost his father when he was six. Though it seemed like a distant memory which he tried not to think on too much. He had been off at work, surprisingly enough he worked at a movie studio. He was much like Freddie, with their tech savvy and imagination.

Mrs. Benson had only been half crazy back then. She still had been a nurse then and constantly lectured her husband about safety and his health. Yet he had been able to balance her out with his more casual demeanor. Losing him had thrown her into hyper drive; wanting so desperately to protect her son from leaving her like her husband did. He'd been working on the set of some big budget film when the rafters collapsed and crushed him. The forensic medical team had stated that he didn't suffer, which eased a part of Mrs. Benson.

Freddie didn't learn of these facts until he was a little older and had come across them on the Internet. His mother never found out he knew though, which was why he had succumb to her wishes for so long. He knew that she only did it because she loved him, because she was so terrified to lose him by something that was out of her control.

On a different level he didn't understand how his blond headed friend felt. From what he remembered her father had left and her mother always found ways to avoid her. Her light comments when it came to her mother made more sense now; there was more weight to them.

Even weirder was his mother. Who had just up and volunteered to go with Sam. Someone she had stated on so many occasions was a bad influence on him. Maybe she was, but in a good way. Because of her constant taunting and jabs he'd found that he was a stronger person than he'd ever thought. He wasn't the same shy, awkward little boy he was before he met her. The confidence that had grown over the years had been good for him.

"What was up with your mom?" Spencer questioned sitting down next to him, still holding onto the adoption papers. He couldn't seem to let go of them. He knew he had to go through a few channels before they were final, which he'd do later that day.

"I have no idea. I'm just as confused as you are." Freddie stated crossing his arms.

Carly looked at her brother for a bit and finally asked the question that she'd been thinking since she first noticed it.

"Spencer, what is that in your hand?"

"Huh?" he asked looking confused.

"Those papers right there." she pointed.

"Oh...OH, this." he lifted it up and showed it off. "It's a long story but Sam's mom left a note and asked that I adopt Sam temporarily until she turns 18. That way if her dad shows up she doesn't have to leave Seattle."

"And you just signed it?" she didn't say this in an angry fashion but more in an astonished voice. Sometimes Spencer surprised her, well most times.

"Yes." He answered as though it were common knowledge.

"Why?"

"Because I agree with her mother; Sam belongs here, with us. We're her family. Family sticks together. If I can help Sam then I'm going to do it, Carly. Aren't you happy that she'll be here?" he took her question as disbelief and annoyance. But she wasn't, she was just in shock over her brother actually doing it.

"Yes, of course I am. I'm just shocked that you signed it and agreed to it."

"What are we going to do if her father shows up?" cut in Freddie.

"We'll let Sam decide."

They all nodded in agreement and began to straighten up the loft a bit while trying to kill time. Then something occurred to Freddie and he wandered upstairs into the iCarly studio. Carly followed and joined him.

"Why'd you rush off?" she took a seat in the red beanbag and raised an eyebrow at him as he fiddled with his cart of tech items.

"I remembered that Sam had me convert those VHS cassettes so we could look at them. I never got at chance to view them though. It finished about an hour ago. I figured that I should look at it before she sees it, just in case."

Carly couldn't help but smile. Freddie's goal through it all was to protect Sam, someone who so obviously didn't need protecting. It was almost involuntary for the tech producer to do this. She was pretty sure he didn't even notice that he was. But when it came to her feelings he wanted to act as the shield for them. It was kind of sweet, yet weird since he would always counter her insults with some of his own. In their universe it might have made sense, he could only insult her and vise versa.

There were a number of video tapes on top of his cart, unlabeled. He must have done it really quickly earlier that day to have them all done.

"I managed to fit all of these tapes onto a disc. You want to watch them?" she nodded and he pushed a few buttons on the laptop.

The screen on the wall turned on and at first it was kind of distorted but soon cleared. A young woman was standing with another woman who looked strangely familiar.

"Marissa, guess what time it is?" the dark haired young woman stated grinning at the dark haired girl, who was quite beautiful.

"Diaper changing time, Sarah?" the dark haired woman stated grinning.

"Uh no Marissa, it's super soaking the nerds time!" Sarah cheered grabbing a water gun and thrusting one into Marissa's hand. At first Marissa looked confused and then grinned upon seeing where this was going. The camera turned and you could see two babies in a playpen giggling at their mothers while they chased two men around. One looked like Freddie's father, from a few pictures he'd seen long ago. The other he wasn't so sure about. But if he were to put money on it he'd say it was Sam's father, Roger.

"Don't run Roger!" Marissa shouted.

"No!! Marissa! Why!!? I thought you were my best friend!" Roger shouted running away from Freddie's mother.

"I am, but that doesn't mean I can't soak you until you can't move!" she shouted back; laughing like a crazy woman. Some things never change.

Sarah grinned back at the camera and stepped over to the playpen. She glanced down at the two babies and tilted her head to the side.

"Sammy, Freddie, how are you two holding up?" the two looked up at her and laughed happily.

Freddie's eyes widened at this and he froze where he stood at his cart.

"What??" he shouted.

"What??" Carly shouted.

"How?" he questioned to no one in particular.

"This is so weird!" Carly managed to get out while she continued to watch.

The picture cut as his father loomed behind Sarah and dumped a cup full of water on her head. The next scene was of Roger and Sam. She was about three and had a mass of curls all over the place. She was banging on a group of pots with a wooden spoon while her mother talked to her from behind the camera.

"What are you doing there, Sammy?" She tilted her cute little head to the side and grinned up at her mother and then turned to her father and did the same.

"Playing!" she cheered.

"Sammy, you want to go play on daddy's drums?" her dad asked coming down to her level. She latched her little fingers onto his nose and squeezed. He seemed to be used to this and made a loud 'Honk Honk' sound. She giggled and lifted her arms up to be picked up. "But you're a big girl, you can walk all by yourself." he grinned.

"Oh ya!" she grinned and lifted herself up and walked over to her dad. Her mom followed the two out into the living room. He sat down at a nice looking drum set and gave her the drumsticks.

"These are drumsticks." he started.

"Like food?" he chuckled and shook his head.

"No, they're a different kind of drumstick. You just bang them onto these." he pointed at the drum set. He took both of her little arms and showed her how to play.

"Again, again!" she yelled and he did as she wished.

The scene changed again and Sam was sitting with Freddie's father while Freddie was sitting with Sarah. Roger had the camera; he kept talking or rather commentating behind it.

"Careful with that camera Roger, it's a relic." scolded Freddie's father looking up nervously into the camera.

"Chill out Nathan, geez! I'm always careful!"

"What about that one time-" started Nathan.

"Okay so I have my moments, give a guy a break."

"Fine." he sighed and returned his attention to a four year old Sam, who was pulling on his neck tie. "So Sammy, what did you and Freddie do today?" he smiled sweetly at the little girl as she did the same to him.

"Mud pies!" she grinned. "Freddie didn't wanna but I told him it was fun. But he didn't believe me. He said it was dumb. What does dumb mean?" she tilted her head to the side, in her cute way.

"Well it's not something either of you should say. It's mean."

"Okay." she shrugged and continued pulling on his tie. He grinned down at her poked her in the side. She wiggled and let out a giggle.

"Freddie, you look so much like your daddy." Sarah stated ruffling his hair. "Especially when he was just a little guy; then again he still is a little guy." she giggled. Nathan gave her a look that seemed familiar to both Carly and Freddie, one that Freddie himself had done on more than one occasion.

"Hey, Sarah I grew out of that stage, thank you very much!" she just rolled her eyes at him and continued to talk with Freddie.

"That was so totally a compliment, you know that right Freddie?" she asked looking at the little boy in her lap. He just nodded in agreement. "So you and Sammy were playing in the mud? Don't let your mother hear that or she'll fly off the handle, like that one time-"

"Hey, that was justified!" cried Nathan. "It was all your fault you-" he sputtered, slightly flushed in the face.

"Oh please, you were just as at fault as I was. You shouldn't have been talking back, all you had to do was say, 'oh yes, Sarah you are right, I bow to your greatness'. But no, you come from a stubborn bunch." she glared over at him. "You always think you're right even when you're so wrong!" she snapped at him. He sent a glare her way as well. It seemed as though a fire might spark from all the glaring going on between them.

"Here we go again, Marissa, get out here. They're doing it again." Marissa popped her head out from the kitchen and then entered.

"What?" she asked looking at the three adults.

"Your husband and my wife are bickering again." He sighed behind the camera.

"When aren't they? I've just learned to tune then out. They'll get over it soon enough. They've been like this since we were kids." she rolled her eyes and came over to Sam and lifted her up off of Nathan. "Hopefully you don't inherit that trait Sammy; as much as I love your mother over there she can be a brat." Marissa grinned at Sarah who in turn grinned back.

"Aww, you love me! I'm so touched!" Freddie laughed in her lap at them. "I can feel your love from here Marissa!" the dark eyed woman cried happily.

"Freddie!" called Sam from his mother's lap. "Let's go play!" His eyes widened for a moment and he looked sort of nervous. "Don't worry, we'll just go upstairs and play on the Nintendo. I swear." she grinned and he relaxed a bit and jumped down off Sarah's lap.

"Okay, but I don't wanna play a girl this time!" Sam laughed and ran up stairs with Freddie behind her.

The scene ended and the disk also ended.

"That was weird." stated Carly. "I didn't know you and Sam were friends back then." he couldn't seem to speak. He racked his brain trying to figure out if all of this had happened. How had life gone from that to both their father's leaving them, in one way or another.

"I can't really remember if we were. I don't really remember much of my childhood, except for well, my dad. I remember living downtown up until a couple years ago. But not any of that." He stated pointing to the TV screen.

"This is weird!" she shouted in a panicked voice.

"I don't think Sam should see this right away, it's too much." He had a serious look on his face. "She'll flip." He added.

"Wow." was all Carly could say. "You know, you do look like your dad. He looked so young in that. Like younger than Spencer was when he became my guardian."

"Yeah, so did Sam's parents." he agreed.

"That was really interesting; you know the fact that your parents and hers were best friends. But Roger must have met them later because your mom said that Sarah and Nathan were like that since childhood. Why didn't you mom ever mention it before?"

"I really don't know. Maybe something happened that tore up their friendship. I mean, from what that letter said, from Sam's mom, Roger left and my dad died. You'd think that my mom and hers would stay together as friends are supposed to. But it didn't work out that way. I would have remembered Sam when I was six but I don't, I saw her at school but never talked to her. So whatever happened must have occurred after that video."

"We'll never know, unless we talk to your mom."

"She might not tell us about it. If she kept it for this long, to herself, then she won't say anything to us."

"I suppose." she stood up and headed for the door. "Let's go see if they're back. It's been over an hour since they left."

"I think it makes more sense why my mom went with Sam now." Carly could only nod at this as they left the studio.

**

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**

The viewing had been harder than Sam had thought. It was a good thing that Mrs. Benson had been there to help her through it; though the woman had nearly fallen apart herself. Sam was so confused by her reaction to her mother. The woman was her mother and her reaction was more subdued. Not that she didn't care for her mother or love her but she still felt detached from the situation; like she was watching this on a television through a camera lens. Mrs. Benson hugged her tight as she sobbed into Sam's shirt.

"Oh Sarah why didn't you come to me? We could have worked something out…"she continued to cry while Sam stood there looking at her mother's face. It was as though she were asleep; at least she liked to think that. She led Mrs. Benson away and toward the door they'd stepped through, wanting to end Mrs. Benson's sobbing.

Once they were back to the car and buckled in Sam found the strength to ask the questions that were bubbling up inside of her.

"Mrs. B, why'd you agree to come with me? How did you know my mom?" her voice cracked a little so she opted to turn down the volume of it.

"We used to be friends." was all she said.

"Used to be?"

"We had a falling out over a decade ago; I'd rather not go into with you. Let's just save that talk for another day." Sam could only nod and go back to looking out the window. "Spencer signed the papers."

Sam turned her head toward Mrs. Benson and couldn't turn away.

"Your mother mentioned them to me a long time ago, shed drawn them out and intended for me to be your guardian if ever something happened. But you became dear to Carly and Spencer and I'm guessing she wanted you to choose someone to sign them." she could only nod. "It was a good choice. If things had turned out differently then I would have been your choice."

Sam stayed silent all the way to the apartment complex. What was she suppose to say to that? What did she even mean; if things had been different? When she entered Carly was in the kitchen making food while Freddie was sitting at the counter staring at nothing in particular. Spencer was nowhere to be seen.

"We're back, Freddie-" Mrs. Benson started.

"I know, I know, be home on time." he frowned at her.

"Just be home at a reasonable hour, I'll see you when you get home, if not lock up the door when you do get in." was all she said. She patted Sam's shoulder and then left. The woman was full of surprises, maybe not good ones but surprises nonetheless

She really didn't want to be around anyone at the moment. They both were staring at her and she felt herself backing up slightly. Though they were her friends, at the moment they couldn't really help here on this one. Without a word she headed upstairs to the studio to be alone.

Once she was gone Carly and Freddie both looked to one another.

"Should we go up and talk to her?" she asked.

"No, she just needs a moment to herself. She doesn't like it when people try to pick her feelings apart."

"Yeah." She replied. This little bit of information that Freddie knew was going into her mental book as well. Freddie knew things about Sam that most people didn't. He knew how to defuse her mood, when it wasn't the right time to talk to her, even when she needed a friend. Now was not the time though. She knew this. But then again he knew how to push her buttons as well. He knew which subjects in which to bring up to get her going.

"She'll come back down when she's ready for human interaction. All we can do is just wait and hope she's okay."

Carly glanced up when Spencer entered the living room. He'd been gone for over an hour, leaving shortly after they went up stairs. He returned home with a large box in his arms. Then a ding tolled and the elevator door opened revealing a few more boxes as well as a bed, the size a full. There were other things as well, such as; a side table, dresser and a few other items that looked as though they belonged to Sam.

"You went to Sam's and got all her belongings?" Freddie asked, surprised by this.

"Yes." he grinned and went over to start unloading the elevator. "I figured that Sam wouldn't want to go back there to get her stuff yet so I got Socko and Rob to help me out." he shrugged and continued to unload. Freddie joined in and they got it inside in no time at all. "Where is Sam? Did she get back okay?"

"Oh, she's up in the studio. We thought we'd give her some time to herself."

"Good plan." he looked at the medium sized grouping of objects in the living room and wondered what he'd do with it. "You know...we're going to have to figure out what to do with this her things."

"We could share my room, we already do anyways." Carly shrugged.

"Yeah, but I'm sure Sam would like to have her own room too. Friendships change when you actually live together. If you two fight or disagree she'll have nowhere to go off to be alone."

"Makes sense." nodded Carly while Freddie looked in deep thought.

"You know there's the studio. If that's cool we could construct a wall and set up a room for her there. It wouldn't be in view of the show and she'd have a place to be alone."

"Sounds good, I'll get my tools!" Spencer disappeared and Carly looked nervous.

"I don't think we should let Spencer do this one. Maybe we could find something simple to put up."

"We still have that green projector screen, if we pull it down then that gives her enough room and privacy behind it. It's not much but it's the least we could do." he shrugged and began to load up the elevator again.

After about an hour Sam wandered down the stairs and silently plopped down next to Freddie. Carly was up taking a shower.

"Thanks." was all she said. He looked up and found that she wasn't looking at him.

"No problem."

"You're not going to ask me how I am, are you. Because if you do so help me I'll shave off your eyebrows while you sleep." she didn't said this in an angry way, but rather in a mumble.

"I won't. Even though I want to." she looked up then and allowed a small smile to form.

"If you must know, Fredweird, I'm better. I'll be fine. I think somewhere in my mind I knew she'd do this. After Roger left her she fell apart, she was slowly dying as it was. It was hard for her to lose the only man she ever loved." she was just assuming the reasons, she really didn't know. "I'll be fine." she said the last bit more to herself than to him.

"Okay, is there anything I could do for you?" he couldn't believe he was asking her that. She seemed to be wondering the same thing. But she just let it go.

"I could go for some food."

"I can do that. It's been hours since you ate. Don't want you to go into shock." he smirked and got up to make her something. She leaned on her hands and watched him assemble a plate of ham, heated of course and a cup of coffee, she'd started drinking over a year ago.

She munched happily and didn't speak a word until everything on the plate was gone.

"So, where is everyone?" she asked suddenly feeling awkward with being alone with Freddie. Whenever she thought too much on it was when it got like this. The thoughts that went through her head were irrational. In no way could she allow anything she felt interfere with her friendship. It was too important. If something went wrong between them then she would lose him. She couldn't have that. Besides, he only viewed her as the slightly abrasive friend. Yes, they'd bonded over the last year and had always had a strange friendship. But there was no way he'd end up with a girl like her.

She wasn't part of the Fredward Benson Plan. He needed the right girl who could care for him right, instead of someone who constantly bickered with him; even if it was now playful bickering. Still there was no room in his future for someone like her. She had come to terms with that already, not that she was thinking about a future with him. They'd always be friends, maybe no close; once he went off to college still friends.

Sighing inwardly she returned her attention to Freddie who was staring at her strangely.

"Did you hear what I said?" he asked and she shook her head. "I said Carly is up showering and Spencer when to the hardware store."

"Why?"

"It's a surprise."

"Does it have anything to do with the elevator not working?"

"Partly." he smiled.

"Did you happen to get a look at those tapes I had you convert?" she asked trying to change the subject.

"Oh, yeah um..."

"Was there something horrible on there?"

"Well...I don't know if it would be a good time to watch those tapes." he half expected her to snap at him and tell him he wasn't her parent and that he had no right to tell her what was right for her.

"Okay, when?" he was surprised to say the least by her submissiveness.

"How about after everything cools down and you've had time to come to terms with everything that's happened."

"If what's on those tapes are what I think they are I don't think I'd want to see them now anyways." she shrugged and stood up, heading for the couch. He joined her and they fell into silence.

**

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**

Sam found herself standing in the kitchen cooking up a storm. She wasn't sure when it had started but her hands were moving every which way. Mixing things as well as reading directions. She had a roast in the oven, scalloped potatoes simmering and broccoli steaming on the back burner. While all those things were preparing she mixed up the batter for a recipe she found online for 'chocolate gooey butter cookies' by Paula Dean. It consisted of 1 brick of cream cheese, room temperature, 1 stick of butter also at room temperature, an egg and a box of moist chocolate cake mix. After mixing it all together it's suppose to sit in the fridge for two hours. After that she can roll them into little balls and bake them for twelve minute at 350 degrees. After they cool, confectioners' sugar is sprinkled on them.

Sighing she wiped her forehead and closed the fridge door. The roast in the oven only had about thirty minutes left while the scalloped potatoes were already finished as well as the broccoli.

Rinsing off her hands she looked around and found that she was completely alone. She should be used to this by now, but yet she didn't feel completely alone. She could hear banging and loud yelling from above. Her curiosity was getting the best of her. What could they be doing up there?

All Spencer said was that it was a surprise for her and that she couldn't see until they were done. Freddie and Carly were both recruited, though Freddie stated that they didn't trust Spencer completely with this little project. So she accepted that she'd eventually find out what they were doing up in the studio.

Once the timer dinged she went to pull out the roast and let it sit on the top of the unused burner to cool. After that she grabbed a few plates and began to place a little of each item she cooked on them, except the roast, which would fall apart if it were cut too soon. After ten minutes she gave in and cut up the roast, applying one good sized piece on each plate.

She then placed each plate onto the table and called Carly's phone to let them know that dinner was ready.

When they all came down they looked tired. They'd been upstairs for four hours. The delicious smell of roast filled their senses and each person sat down in front of a plate. Sam smiled despite everything.

"This is amazing! Wow Sam, where did you learn to cook like this?" Spencer gushed shoving more potato into his mouth.

"I don't know, I just looked up recipes and tried them out." she shrugged and ate her food.

"You've got to show me how to cook like this." Carly stated chewing happily on the moist roast.

After the meal they all thanked Sam and went back upstairs, promising her that they were almost done with what they were doing upstairs.

Once two hours had passed she pulled out the mixture from the fridge, with the oven heating up. It was almost mechanical for her now. She went through the motions of rolling and sticking each onto the ungreased cookie sheet. After about an hour she had a large stack of cookies, with confectioners' sugar on top. After the last bit was finished she heard a group of footsteps coming down the stairs.

"COOKIES!!!" Spencer's cry rang out as he ran toward the kitchen. He picked one up and bit into it. The moment he did he found that they were so moist; yet perfect. "What are these?" he asked picking up another one. He was in a daze as he bit into another.

"Chocolate gooey butter cookies." she stated eating one herself. Freddie and Carly joined in and enjoyed the cookies just as much as Spencer. "I practically have the recipe memorized."

"These are just....so.....amazing..." it looked like Spencer was about to cry. "Oh right, we have to show you something upstairs." He grabbed a few more cookies and then her hand and rushed upstairs with her trying to keep up. Carly and Freddie followed behind.

When they got to the top of the stairs Sam was asked to cover her eyes and not peek. She agrees, only because Spencer asked nicely and she figured it would get her there faster.

He held her by the shoulders and led her inside the room.

"Can I open my eyes now?" she asked.

"Hold on." she hears shuffling feet and then things go silent. "Okay now!" they said together. She opened her eyes and looked at the wall behind them.

"What is it?" she was so confused by a wooden wall in the studio.

"Well we were talking about you having your own room, since you'll be living here for a while. At first Freddie suggested that we use the green screen to cover up the huge space back here. But then I thought that we could just build a wall." Spencer explained.

"It came out better than we thought; surprisingly enough Spencer knows how to use a hammer for more than a display in his sculptures." Carly added grinning.

"Wow guys, this looks amazing." she didn't know what to say. They'd spent hours upon hours assembling a wall just so she could have some privacy if she wished. She would have been happy to share a room with Carly.

"That's not all!" Spencer stated and then shoved a cookie into his mouth.

"He got Rob and Socko to help in bring all the stuff from your room; here." Carly stated upon seeing her brother savoring the cookies in his mouth.

"Really?"

"Go look." Carly suggested and she did as she was asked.

Inside the side opening she found that all her belongs were all there. Her bed sat the side with the table next to it with a floor lamp sitting on the other side. It looked a lot better then her room did, that's for sure.

She stood there for a moment and took it all in.

"Do you like it?" Carly asked joining her.

"I do." she whispered.

"I hope that this feels like home."

"No, it doesn't." she stated and turned toward all the faces looking at her as if she were insane. "It's better than that." She was losing her touch, that's for damn sure. She hadn't attacked anyone since Friday, when Gibby had bumped into her and spilled glitter all over her. Even though she'd calmed down over the year she still have a violent streak. That would not change.

**

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**Panda Note**: There we go, another chapter complete. This is the fastest I've finished a chapter. It all seemed to be flowing right now, it's amazing! I really hope that everyone likes this. I do. Oh and I'd like to thank the people who reviewed, you guys are awesome!

**Terri**: thank you for reviewing; I'm glad you decided to come back. I'm glad you like how I did this. It means a lot! Hope you enjoy this chapter as well.


	4. Of Talks and Jasmine Scents

**Recently Edited! - June 13th, 2009**

**Disclaimer**: I still don't own anything awesome like iCarly. Sadness... if I could own anyone though it would be Spencer or Socko. I love those socks! Haha

**Chapter Three**

Sunday mornings were always the most boring of all the other days. Something about this day made your body refuse to want to move. You usually slept in on this day as well. At least this is what Carly as well as Spencer thought when they woke at ten that morning. Freddie even seemed to follow this sentiment. For when he strode through the door he found the Shay's both still in their sleepwear and Sam was mopping the floor vigorously. He'd never seen her clean before; ever.

She had an apron on as well as gloves and a bandanna. She was scowling at an offending stain on the floor and continued to fight with it until it surrendered.

"Uh, Sam..." started Carly, hair still a mess and looking rather sleepy still. "Why?" all she could manage to ask her blond friend.

She didn't seem to hear anything Carly said, maybe it was because she had music playing. She finished with the mopping and headed over to the bucket with the now gross water and placed it in.

Her blond head was bobbing to something in her headphones and she seemed to be off in her own little world. It was strange.

Freddie stood there for a moment in shock. Was it at all possible that Sam might be normal? She'd never shown at any time before to want to clean up messes. She practically made them wherever she went. Not that being a psycho clean freak was normal at all.

She stretched and looked around and realized she wasn't alone. Pulling out her headphones she smiled slightly and gave a little wave.

"Yo peeps, this isn't what it looks like." She pulled the gloves off and went to sit down on the couch.

"Sam." Freddie started. "You clean!" he felt his eyes twitch slightly. He was still in shock over watching her clean.

"Not always." she mumbled to herself.

Mrs. Benson took this time to enter the loft. She sometimes forgot to knock and Spencer gave up on reminding her of this. She took one look at the place and had to do a double take to make sure she was in the right place. It was just so clean, she'd never seen it like this before.

"Oh no." she stated with wide eyes. They then fell on Sam who looked just as confused by Mrs. Benson's reaction. "You have that same impulse." she looked so crestfallen. It was the most bizarre reaction she'd ever received for cleaning.

"So." was all Sam could say.

"She used to do this all the time." she sighed and headed back toward the door, attempting to escape.

"Wait, Mrs. B, what are you talking about?" Sam attempted to stop Mrs. Benson from running away.

"Another time, I have errands to run, come along Freddie." She called and opened the door. She stood there for a moment and waited for him to follow, but he didn't.

"I don't need to go with you to run your errands, besides I have my own 'errands' to do today." he folded his arms in defiance.

"Freddie, don't argue, let's go."

Something seemed to switch in Freddie's brain. As thoughts about the woman he'd seen in the videos come into view. What happened to her? He understood her more now than he did most of his life, but this was ridiculous! It wasn't as if he could get into any trouble being at Carly's.

"No, I'm almost eighteen and I don't have to continue to follow you around and have you constantly dictating my life!" he shouted out glaring at her. Her disposition faltered and she looked so defeated that his aggressiveness deteriorated slightly. He took in a breath and tried to calm down, it was way too early, well it was ten, but still too early on a Sunday for this. "Look, I'm sorry I shouted, but mom I'm almost an adult. You have to let go sometime." he finished.

It was just not the right day to go around arguing in someone else's home. Mrs. Benson looked as though she were contemplating everything that he'd just said. She knew he was right, but she wasn't ready for that. She thought she had more time before he'd become old enough to leave her.

Sighing she allowed her shoulders to slump slightly, but still holding her back straight. She gave a nod and exited without a word.

Freddie just stood there in shock. That was not how he thought that conversation would end. He was expecting some dragging and lecturing.

"Who thinks it too early to be awake for crazy mothers?" Spencer asked. Carly raised her hand and then turned around and went back up to her room while Spencer did the same.

"I'm sorry about that!" he called out but receives no reply, other than the slamming of doors. "Sorry Sam." he stated looking embarrassed. She just stood there for a moment and looked at him. It didn't even seem like she was actually paying attention to him, but rather in deep thought. "Sam?"

"What?" she asked looking confused. He wasn't sure if he should be afraid of this or not.

"Are you alright?"

She allowed her shoulders to slump and crossed her right leg over the left.

"I feel off my game." was the only reply he got.

"What do you mean?" he took a seat next to her and turned his body so that he was facing hers.

"Something is wrong. I haven't fought with anyone in two days; I'm cleaning more than I ever have as well as cooking up a storm. I feel tired but can't seem to sleep much. I'm not even hungry right now. I feel full." she looked so lost.

"A lot has happened in such a short time. It's normal to feel off. But it'll get better."

"No, it won't. Look at me! I'm sitting here in an apron because I needed to destroy dust bunnies. What the hell man?" she ran a hand through her hair. "I'm even being civil to you; the world must be coming to an end."

"Would it make you feel better if we fought right now?" he smirked.

"Then it wouldn't be real. Where's the fun in that?"

"Call me a dork." his face was completely serious.

"Dork."

"Like you mean it, Sam." he rolled his eyes.

She took in a breath and tried to focus on the goal at hand. She smiled slightly.

"You, Fredward Benson are the biggest dork to walk on the planet earth."

"I felt it that time." he laughed.

"Well I put my heart into that one." she laughed as well.

"You're so disrespectful." he smiled. He didn't say it like usually did and it didn't bother her as much that he didn't. Who would have thought that the dork could make her snap out of it?

"Now that I've destroyed every piece of dirt in this loft I've got preparations to make." she frowned.

"What preparations?"

"For Sarah..."

"Oh. Do you need help?"

"Not from you dork!" she pushed his shoulder and stood. "I have to go sign some papers and then everything will be done."

"A....funeral?" he asked hesitantly. He wasn't very good with things like this. He could barely remember going to his father's as a boy.

"No." she breathed in again and let it out. "In my family, we don't believe in burying."

"What?" he felt so confused. What sort of family didn't have funerals?

"Everyone in my family who's passed away has always been, cremated. It's a complicated thing to explain, but that's just how it is. My mother's wish was to be cremated and set free into the ocean. I can at least do that." she shrugged. "I can't remember ever going to a funeral in my life."

"Do you want company?" he found himself asking.

"No, I can handle this on my own." she got up and took the apron off and straightened up her clothes. "I'll be back soon." With that she was gone out the door.

**

* * *

**

After visiting with the mortuary Sam made her way to the house that she shared with Sarah for all of her life. It still held the same smells that it did the night before, but with a stronger weight on her back. The soft scent of her mother's jasmine perfume was eternally soaked into each corner of the house. You couldn't walk two steps without smelling her. She could still remember the days of horrible smelling perfume wafting through the halls.

If someone had wanted to know what Sarah had smelled like, Sam wouldn't have lied and said she didn't know. She knew little about the woman and yet she held all that she could know close to her. Like a precious bit of memory. Why would she hand those away to people who didn't deserve them?

There weren't many knickknacks on the walls or on bookshelves. It was simple. She knew though that her mother had stripped the house of all the remembrance of her father from it; which meant pictures, videos and the like. She even knew where to locate all of these items. She'd have to visit it eventually and go through it all and decide what to do with it.

The scraps of paper from the night before were all still on the deep green carpet. Knowing what she knew now it all made more sense. Her mother had sat in this room writing her a letter that would be fitting. Each of these papers represented a thought, a second guess that her mother couldn't seem to finish.

Touching the couch she tried to think of her own mother writing to her. The same woman who barely acknowledged her or forgot to feed her at times; in a sense she felt like one of Spencer's neglected goldfish. Yet he mourned their fishy scales and big fishy eyes while she still swam on, with her mother.

Her insides contorted when she thought of the events that had taken place Friday and Saturday.

'Not only did my own father want to get away, now my mother too.' She thought to herself. It continued to repeat itself in her mind as she clinched the soft microfiber couch material. She could still remember the day that her father had just walked out, without a single good-bye to her. Her little five year old hands reached out for him, calling out to him to not leave but he ignored her pleas.

Running her hands through her hair she left the living room and headed for the stairs.

Her mother's room was down a narrow hallway parallel to hers. It had at least a twelve foot separation in between.

Opening the door she was hit with a wave of jasmine perfume. Each bit attached itself to her. The room was clean, like hers was.

Despite what people believed about Sam, one thing was for sure, she had an abnormal need to clean when she was emotionally unhinged. Not many people knew this because half the time she'd be neutral for the most part. Not many things could shake her world.

Knowing that her mother couldn't stand to live anymore made her want to know the woman more. What moment really set off fireworks in her head? What triggered the choice? What was the Catalyst of this whole ending?

Her bed sat in the very center of the room, with decorative comforter. There wasn't much in the room to speak of, must like Sam's had been. Though Sam owned more items than her mother did, she tended to hold onto things if they had meaning. Both didn't believe in being pack rats, despite the state of her locker.

The only part of the room that had any type of clutter was the closet; too many clothes to even begin to describe. On the bottom of the floor there were a number of boxes that she guessed held all the things that reminded Sarah of Roger.

Bending down she began to pull the boxes out and spread them around the large room. Each both was labeled with random numbers and were taped shut with duck tape. Grabbing one that was label 'Nathan' she began to rip off the tape and throw the flaps back.

Inside were a few photo albums and ancient looking cameras.

Raising an eyebrow she lifted one of the cameras and inspected it. If she squeezed hard enough the thing might actually turn to dust in her hand. "Who collects old cameras?" she asked herself. "A nerd." she answered out loud shaking her head.

Pulling out the albums she places the white one on the floor and held the red one in her hands. On the front it had random swirls and such.

Inside there were 3x3 rows of pictures. It seemed that they were in order. A few were of two young children grinning at the camera. The boy looked very familiar, a little too familiar in fact. His light brown eyes and brown hair accented the girl standing next to him. Hers was like caramel. Her eyes were too dark to be brown.

In other shots they were with another little girl and slowly in each page they would age. Once she reached the end they were at the end of the teenage years. The boy had his arm around the dark haired girl while the light haired girl stood next to him looking kind of annoyed.

She wondered who this Nathan fellow was then, she could tell that the girl with light hair was her mother and the other girl looked kind of familiar too.

Upon further inspection she came to realize that Nathan looked almost like a certain tech producer for iCarly. At least she was assuming this was Nathan; mainly because the box had indicated it.

She didn't even want to know what was in the other album; it looked like those cheesy wedding albums that showcased staged pictures of that day. Why couldn't they show bridezilla terrorizing the help and yelling about how it was 'her' day?

Placing everything back in the box she moved on to the other three boxes. One labeled videos, clothes and Roger. She decided then that she wasn't ready to go through any of those things. So she pushed the boxes inside the closet, except for the video box and closed the doors.

The video box wasn't as heavy as she thought it would be. She carried it down the stairs and into the living room area. Inside there were about twelve different VHS tapes. None were labeled though which left a lot to the imagination.

**

* * *

**

January was slowly coming to an end, which meant that in a few short weeks Fredward Benson would finally be eighteen. Soon he'd be off to collage and on his own for the first time in his life. Though that time wouldn't come for the next six or so months. Carly had just turned eighteen a few weeks before, on the fourteenth and he couldn't wait until he was next. Sam would follow soon after in April.

Freddie and Carly had been sitting around on her couch most of the morning through the afternoon doing nothing. TV had nothing to offer on Sunday's and they didn't feel like leaving.

"When is Sam coming back?" Carly asked sinking into the side of the couch.

"I don't know, she said she had do some stuff for her mom and then she'd be back."

"Do you think she'll be okay, in the end?"

"I hope so, Sam being like this is messing me my head. She hasn't pushed me or punched me in days. Not even on Friday."

"You actually miss her picking on you?"

"Yeah, I do." he stated surprised at this. "It's weird but that's how Sam just is, if she doesn't do those things then who is she? Not Sam.

"I suppose so; she just needs time to take in everything. She's taking it well though, kept herself together for the most part."

Freddie shifted his head to look at her, giving her an 'Are you serious?' look.

"Have you not been listening? She's not being herself she's falling apart slowly." he took a breath and continued. "It's only a matter of time before something triggers her emotionally to the point where she'll breakdown completely."

"How do you know?"

"I just do. Trust me on that."

**

* * *

**

Sam arrived back at the Shay's around four that Sunday afternoon. Carly and Freddie weren't anywhere in sight and Spencer was standing at the stove cooking. She placed the box down and went to join him.

"Whatcha cookin?" she asked.

"I figured we could have breakfast for dinner tonight, since we all skipped breakfast. You know they say 'breakfast' is the most important meal of the day." she could only nod in agreement. He continued to cook happily while she tried to steal a piece of bacon off the plate that was finished. He pretended not to see.

Taking a deep breath, which she seemed to do a lot, she entered the studio. This had become her sort of bedroom. Freddie wasn't there but Carly was, sitting on a beanbag and watching videos.

"Hey." she worked her way sluggishly to her best friend.

"You're back!" Carly jumped up and went to embrace her. Sam wasn't too disturbed by Carly's reaction.

"Sorry, I had some stuff to take care of." She tried to take out any emotion in that statement. "I just wanted to get it all done before school starts up again. Ya know?"

Carly embraced Sam once again and Sam knew that the lightly taller girl had wanted to hug days ago. Carly had always had that quality, wanting to right wrongs, even emotionally but Sam hadn't really felt too off. Sure she hadn't attacked anymore or really shown any sort of liveliness. Still she hadn't cried her eyes out or freaked. She felt so cut off from that part of her at the moment that it made her feel cold.

"Carls, I'm fine. Just chill." She lightly pulled her best friend off of her.

"Sorry, I just-"

"I know." she smiled a bit. "So where's the dweeb? Mommy yell at him about earlier?" she attempted to be snippy.

"No, he just sort of disappeared after we talked for a bit. I'm not even sure he's talked to his mom since then."

"Weird. So he finally ran away from home. 8 bucks going to get him anywhere?" she laughed. Carly couldn't hold in her own laugh, Sam was being more like herself.

"I'll bet he's been saving it up all these years. Then again there was all that money we got from 'Daka' for those Tech-foots. I never did see what he bought with it. Who knows maybe he put it away somewhere." she shrugged.

"How much did you have left over after you got the bike for Spencer?"

"Not much, about two thousand. I spent it all already. What about you?" she asked plopping down on the beanbag while Sam did the same.

"I put it in the bank baby." she grinned.

"What?" Carly looked startled as she stared at Sam.

"Yeah. Well at first I wanted to spend it like a crazy person, but around that time my mom was dating an accountant. He told me I'd make a lot more off my ten thousand if I 'invested' it. I didn't even know what invested meant until recently; I got a letter in the mail that said that it had gone up over the past two years. So I guess it was a good idea."

"Wow Sam, that's almost responsible of you. And you actually left it there? That's so weird."

"I know! But I had the accountant guy but a block on it until I was eighteen so I could let it grow and not be tempted to go take any out. Best decision ever. I'll have enough to go to school."

"You want to go to collage?"

Carly wasn't sure how much she could take with all this new information. Not only was Sam doing responsible things but she actually wanted to go to school.

"Not like your type of school; an institute for culinary Arts. I found it online and went to sign up for their classes in August. It's a really good school. I figured that I'd just stick around Seattle and maybe get a job at some swanky restaurant once I finish school. I could do something that I love while getting to eat the food I make. It's a win-win situation."

"I don't know what to say Sam, that's amazing."

"I have my moments, just keep it to yourself kid." she stated pointing at Carly.

"Will do!" she grinned.

"Come on let's go downstairs and eat some bacon!" Sam grinned.

They entered the kitchen to find Spencer fighting with the grease from the bacon. He had goggles strapped to his face as well as thick black gloves.

"It'll be ready in a minute!" he called swatting at the bacon grease.

Sam looked on and couldn't help but be thankful for Spencer. Despite her distaste for humans she could find herself rather enjoying him. He was random and special in his own way. He didn't even think about it too deeply when she asked him to 'adopt' her. What type of human does that?

A Friend.

"Here ya go!" he cheered dramatically placing the eggs, bacon, sausage and toast before them.

**

* * *

**

He'd wondered why he came here of all places. It wasn't like he'd learn anything that he already knew. He had some of the pieces to the puzzle and yet they all seemed scattered about in the wrong order. He needed to sit his mother down and talk to her.

Nathan Marcus Benson's tombstone sat under a tree, like he'd always wanted. Or so his mother told him. After seeing those videos he wasn't so sure about what or how to feel about this man; or even if his last name was 'Benson'. From what he could remember from his mother, her maiden name was Benson. It made he wonder why his father's grave was labeled 'Benson'?

For someone as smart as he was this should be so simple to figure out. Yet it always led him to blanks. Even visiting like he did at times didn't help to understand his father.

He decided though to place it in the back of his mind for later.

He could barely even remember him as it was. If he closed his eyes tightly he could sort of see his face. Yet it was blocked out by a grain filter. His voice dulled out into background noise.

Looking at the time he realized that he'd been standing there for hours. It was nearing seven o'clock and he'd need to get home.

**

* * *

**

Freddie got home and found that his mother was sitting before a dozen different photo albums spread out before her. She looked crazed as he went through one photo after the other, each one causing her to sob. It was almost as though she were uncovering something from them. Like she was looking for clues to her own puzzle and not liking the answer.

She didn't even notice him as he entered and sat down on the couch.

"Mom." he said clearly and she didn't look. "MOM!" he shouted this time causing her to jump a bit.

"Oh, Freddie." she put the book down and looked at him. "You're home." she looked between the books and him a few times.

"I think we need to talk mom. About dad, Sam and her parents, no excuses this time." he put on his 'I'm being serious with you' face. She knew that she wouldn't be able to rebel against him in the state she was in and so she just nodded and got up to join him.

"I suppose it's about time I told someone about this."

**

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**

**Panda Note**: I don't ever remember writing a 'cliffhanger' in my life! That I can remember anyways. I really hope you enjoy this. You thought I was going to give it up within the first few chapters? Silly readers! If you have it all figured out then awesome if not then continue reading. I might not update tomorrow because of a project I have to do downstairs for my grandmother. Yay tiling! But don't worry I will try to write some of the next chapter tomorrow night. Please, if you click and have read it review, even if you hate it I'd love to know why and how to make it better. Your opinions do matter! I know that there are people visiting, I had like 300 something hits. So please? For me?

Thanks!

REVIEW!!


	5. Meet Roger Puckett

**Recently Edited**

**Disclaimer**: I still don't own iCarly or any of the fun characters, but I do own some fun socks.

**Chapter Four**

The morning bell would be ringing anytime soon and Sam couldn't believe she had been there for thirty minutes. One thing about living with Carly was that the girl had to be up early to do her hair and other girl type things that went on. She took a shower that morning and brushed her hair, got dressed and grabbed her backpack. How Carly could spend so much time on getting ready was beyond her.

So there she stood next to her locker waiting for Freddie to come back from talking to one of his teachers for a class he had later. As he approached she pushed herself off the locker and he met her halfway.

"Took you long enough, Freddork." she grumbled which only caused him to roll his eyes.

"Oh get over it. I was only gone for seven minutes." he looked around and didn't see Carly.

"Where's your better half?" he joked grinning.

"She forgot to apply eyeliner and had to rush to the bathroom." more grumbling.

"So..." he started.

"Look dork, I don't want to hear whatever it is that you're about to go on about." she stopped him. He sighed and adjusted his backpack. He wasn't sure what he was about to say but it was going to get personal. She still didn't want to talk about it. She 'seemed' like her normal self. Then again no one at school knew about the events of their weekend. Not many people had ever met her mother let alone seen her. The teachers probably knew, just because they had to get in touch with her in case of 'emergencies'.

"Fine. Let's get to class." he walked passed her scowling and heading off to English. Thoughts about the conversation with his mom still going through his mind, they wouldn't leave.

At lunch Carly had once again vanished from sight. They found her though flirting with a boy from their Trigonometry class. After writing something down on a piece of paper she walked over to them.

"Hey guys!" she grinned from ear to ear and sat down.

"Hey" they said together, continuing to eat their lunch.

"You guys seem, down." she raised an eyebrow.

"Nope." Sam replied. "Can't find any reason to be down. The sun is shining the birds are singing and I'm sitting next to the biggest nub on the planet." she blotched, glaring at Freddie. He returned the glare and scooted over an inch from her.

Carly sat there watching them for a moment and frowned. They were fine over the weekend but now they were acting like enemies once again. This wasn't good. They were making progress! At least she hoped that they would reach a point where this bickering and glaring would end.

Her hope was that the two might even be together someday. It might be a dysfunctional relationship but it could work.

Sighing she took a bite out of her sandwich and watched the two silently. Something had caused this. It wasn't so much Sam as it was Freddie. He seemed off. From behind her sandwich she could see him glancing over at her and getting this pensive look on his face.

Something or someone had done this.

**

* * *

**

Freddie tried to keep his cool all day but so much of what his mother had told him last night bothered him. She had told him not to tell anyone, especially Sam. She planned to have a talk with her soon and get it out in the open. She had said that 'Sam deserved to at least know'. Part of him didn't want her to know. No good could come of what his mother was planning to share.

He met up with Carly and Sam at their lockers and kept his distance from Sam, even looking at her hurt. He just stood there analyzing both of his best friends. The tapes made more sense and so did their possible futures. But he knew that it wouldn't happen, not again. He shook his head and calmed himself down.

Sam still wasn't talking to him, which was odd. Now she was glaring openly at him. Then her attention shifted as she caught sight of some younger boy and went to give him 'his daily wedgie'. Carly watched her go with a strange look on her face.

Her attention shifted to him and her eyes narrowed in a knowing way. Carly hardly ever got mad at him and he was pretty sure she'd have words with him once Sam was out of earshot.

That morning they had all come in Freddie's car, so naturally that's how they'd leave. Sam had purposefully sat in the back. Carly took the front seat and stayed silent the whole way. Sam usually sat in front with Freddie, on most days. They'd fight over the music that would play, Sam would usually win. Carly enjoyed watching them and wished that they could see how they are with each other through her eyes.

In the back seat Sam still looked satisfied about giving that freshman a wedgie and stealing his granola bar.

As the Bushwell Plaza came into view Freddie felt relieved. He'd be able to go home and collect himself before going over to hang out with the girls. After parking and a ride in the elevator they reached their floor and found a sight they couldn't believe.

Mrs. Benson was arguing with a blond, tan man. They were really going at it, up in each other's faces saying things that didn't really make sense to Carly and Sam, but Freddie got the gist of it.

"Look here Benson; I have a right to see her. You weren't even there for her when she needed you." shouted the man.

"You have some nerve! Once you found out the truth you couldn't run any faster. What kind of man are you?" She poked him in the chest.

"I'm the kind that won't play second fiddle, that's who!"

Freddie cleared his throat and got their attention. When both adults turned toward the teens Sam's eyes widened. Blue met blue and Sam felt herself backing up behind her two friends.

"Sam?" he called. He started moving toward her but Mrs. Benson moved to block him.

"Don't you dare." the older woman stated in a firm voice. "You just can't come around after twelve years. How did you expect her to feel about you just showing up, unannounced?"

Sam's hands were shaking and Freddie could feel it, her hands were pressing into his back as well as Carly's. The two were acting as a border for her.

Roger Puckett stood before them in the flesh. Sam's blood ran cold as she stared up at the same blue eyes that had once looked at her with love. How had that love vanished in an instant? How could he have just left like that, without her? Mrs. Benson had actually stood up for her, in her own way. Defending her against someone she never thought she'd see again. Yet somewhere in her mind she knew he'd eventually show up. Her mother was gone after all. He'd have to come back for that at least.

"She's my daughter, Marissa!" he snapped.

"Since when!" retorted Marissa.

"Enough!" Spencer yelled from the open door of the Shay apartment. "What's going on out here?" he looked around at the grouping. Sam was hidden behind Carly and Freddie, who took the defensive, he could tell. Spencer felt like it should have been him out here protecting her, just like he promised himself he would. He stepped out and went to Sam.

Freddie and Carly moved to the side to let him through. She seemed dazed by seeing her father for a second. Spencer grabbed her shoulders and gave her a little shake. Her big eyes turned up to look at him and she felt somewhat relieved.

"Sam, you don't have to deal with him right now. Go inside and I'll deal with this." She knew then that she made the right choice. He linked an arm around her shoulder and led her to the door, blocking her view of Roger. Once Sam was out of range the two Shays and Bensons stood around Roger.

"You should go. Sam doesn't want to talk to you." Spencer stated standing next to Mrs. Benson. He felt bad that he wasn't out there to defend her too, even though she was kind of crazy. No woman should have to be yelled at like that.

"I'm her father; I have a right to talk to her." Roger frowned and found himself being boxed in.

"I'm her guardian as of now and I'm not going to allow you to upset her anymore than she already is. Don't you think she's been through enough?" Spencer crossed his arms and stood next to Mrs. Benson, just in case Roger tried to start another argument.

Carly was surprised by her brother. She hardly ever saw this side of him. She was so use to him being a loveable goof, with random sculpture building.

"You should go Roger." Marissa stated, agreeing, crossing her arms and giving him a disgruntled look. She then turned her attention to Freddie and gave him a look that said 'get inside'. Even though he wanted to go talk with Sam, he knew he should go home first and deal with his mother.

Spencer also told Carly to go inside, which she did without any further prodding.

Roger was left outside all on his own.

Spencer and Carly had decided to give Sam a little time to herself to calm down.

**

* * *

**

Sam laid in bed for an hour leering at the ceiling and listening to the loudest music she could find on her Pear Pod. It seemed to help drown out the noises in her head. With a string of random loud songs she was able to calm down. She knew he only came back because of her mother. Not her. Why would he even bother to come see her at all? It wasn't like she needed him in her life anyway. She was fine all those years without a father and even a mother at some points.

Mrs. Benson was still a mystery to her. Yes, she knew that the woman had been friends with her mother. But the crazy woman knew her father too? Never once had Mrs. Benson mentioned it.

Then a thought struck her; Mrs. Benson's last name. She remembered as if a light had gone off in her head.

The Fencin' Bensons. They were her family, her legacy, her last name. Which meant that Freddie's father's last name was unknown to her as well as her friends. How could she have missed that before? It seemed less important when she'd first heard it. The thought didn't even come up until her thoughts started to put it together.

Not that it mattered what his last name was but it was pretty strange for a man to take a woman's last name, instead of the other way around.

Turning over she put the music up louder. The song was one she'd listened to many times before but never really paid much attention to lyrically speaking. It had a fun beat and was one of those catchy songs you'd find yourself singing at random.

Maybe the reason she was thinking so hard on Mrs.-no-Ms. Benson was because she didn't want to think about anything to do with her own parents. Yet in the end they would be brought back into it. They had known Nathan and Marissa. Whether Nathan's last name had been Benson or something else completely was what she wanted to know.

"Why should it even matter to me?" she asked out loud to the darkness.

There was a knock and some movement in the studio that she could see, then a light came on. Freddie stood in the center contemplating whether to knock on her wall or not. She sighed and took off her headphones.

"What do you want dork?" she came out partly and folded her arms over her chest.

He stood there for a moment and just looked at her. It wasn't helping her at all to be put under a microscope like this. His mind seemed to be running at a mile a minute.

"I came to see how you were doing. I heard you've been up here for two hours."

"What are you the appointed person to check on Sam now? I just want to be left alone is that too hard to ask for?" she glared.

"Well look, we're friends and I just want to know how you're feeling, is that wrong?" he growled back. She felt taken aback by the force in his voice. She didn't show it though and kept her composure.

"I keep telling you I'm fine. What more do you want; sobbing mess for you to clean up? Not going to happen here Benson." She gave him a look, daring him almost. "I don't do tears."

"Look Sam, you must feel like crap right now. I just want to help you out. You can talk to me you know? That's what friends' do." he tried the nice guy route once again.

"You're not supposed to be acting like some nice little boy. That isn't who you are at all. You and I both know that's not who you are, so why do you do it?" she stepped out more into the light.

"I'm not acting like anything." he folded his arms and glared at her. This wasn't going how he planned it to.

"Just go. I don't want to deal with you right now. I might do something you'll regret." by this point she had met him in the middle and was poking him in the chest with an index finger. "I'm not some broken toy that you get to tinker with and try to fix. I'm the way that I am and that's not going to change, understand?" she poked again, a little harder. He didn't react to the pokes or her words at all. Being taller than her now, he looked down at her and found it kind of funny.

"I don't want you to change, but it's a little too late for that. You've changed and you don't even see that you have." he grabbed her hand and held it away from his chest. She balled it into a fist and attempted to break free from his grip, but she couldn't. Her eyes grew wide at this. When had Freddie become stronger than her? Maybe she had changed.

"Let go." she whispered in a dark voice with a slight trembling.

"No." he glared down at her, his heart pounding in his ears. She brought up her other hand to punch him but he grabbed that one as well.

How had this even happened? When had the biggest dork in existence become strong enough to stop her attacks. Or had she become soft, for this dork? That couldn't have happened. She met his eyes and found him still staring her down with a serious look on his face.

"I don't want to talk about any of it." she stated calmly and she could feel his grip loosening. She took this as a sign of defeat and pulled out of his hold and punched him in the gut, breaking the trance as well as the tension. He held his stomach and gaped at her. "Next time you decide to do that you'd better not drop your guard." she glared at him and stepped away.

"Not cool..." he gasped out.

"So what brought on this sudden need to talk about feelings? You've been acting weird all day." she plopped into a beanbag and he followed suit and took the one next to her.

"I don't know; I figured you'd at least say something. Even if it was negative and 'Sam-like'." he shrugged. "Anyways, my mom wanted me to also tell you that she wants to talk to you whenever you get a chance."

This perked her up considerably. Would the crazy woman finally tell her about her mother and what happened to cause a rift in their friendship? Was this what she needed to get out of her funk?

"I'll go now then." she started to get up but he stopped her.

"Wait." he started.

"What now?" she scowled.

He looked up at her and she could tell it was important.

"Whatever she tells you, just don't freak out. It's going to be hard not to but don't let it effect how you treat the people in your life. It doesn't have to if you keep that in mind."

She looked at his face for a few seconds and could tell that he'd had the talk with her. He must have had to do some convincing to get it out of her. It must also have been the reason behind his strange behavior all day. It had bothered him, whatever she had told him.

"I'll try." she stood and exited the room.

**

* * *

**

Carly wasn't anywhere in sight when she reached the door. Spencer waved at her and gave her a little smile. She tried to return it and managed a little one. Standing in the hall she looked around and found that it was empty. She could do this, she knew she could. Ms. Benson wasn't completely scary, okay she was but she could still do this. Her attempts to convince herself were failing as she found her fist knock against the wood of the door.

Ms. Benson must have been waiting by the door for her; pacing most likely. She looked as though she was on the verge of breaking down, her eyes were bloodshot and there were dark circles under them.

"Come in." she ushered the young woman in and closed the door. 'Is this the part where I get cut up into little pieces?' she asked herself sitting down on the couch.

"Freddie told me you wanted to talk to me."

She continued to pace and fidget. Finally she came over and sat down, still visibly shaking. Had this happened when she talked to Freddie?

"This is very hard for me to talk about. I just hope you can handle it."

"Is this about my mom?"

The older woman looked at her and she seemed to fold even more in on herself. Sam, for the life of her, couldn't understand why she was so worried.

"Yes as well as Roger and my husband." sighing she got comfortable, as she possibly could.

"Look, just tell me and I'll keep an opened mind. Don't get bent out of shape Mrs. B." she kept the Ms in her head. She seemed to relax by many degrees. "Does Freddie know 'everything'?"

"Not everything." she shook her head. "There are some things that I couldn't tell him. But he knows almost everything."

"Go ahead then." Sam prodded.

"You remember me telling you that your mother was my best friend?"

"Yes."

"I had moved into the area when I was eight and I met her and Nathan, my late husband. They'd been friends since they were little. Their parents were friends and so on. It went very far back. Close families. They had instantly become my friends. But Nathan had somehow become interested in me over the years. I didn't lead him on or give him any indication that I was even interested. I wasn't at the time. But because of this 'infatuation' of his, it put a wedge between him and Sarah. They started fighting all the time. I tried hard to keep it from accelerating to dangerous heights. But what I hadn't known through the years was that Sarah loved Nathan. She loved him so deeply that when I decided to give the poor boy a chance I'd unknowingly broken her heart."

"What? Are you kidding?" the look on the older woman's face told her that she wasn't.

"I'm not sure if she ever told him how she felt before we were married but I did notice a change in their friendship."

"What do you mean?" Sam's head was started to hurt.

"I'll try to tell you as best I can, if you're willing to listen to the whole story."

"I am." she nodded.

"Then get comfortable."

**

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**

**Panda Note**: I know this one is super short but I couldn't dish it all out at once. We'll get to hear more in the next chapter I promise! I'm on a tight schedule at the moment and the weekends are the worst time for writing haha. I'll be leaving in an hour and I gotta help my dad out before then. So enjoy this little bit and I'll write a longer one next chapter! REVIEW!!!

**Terri**: Yes! You should sign up! Write some funness!! woo!! heh sorry! But yeah I love how this is working out. I'm glad you're enjoying this. :D trust me it's just getting started.


	6. Mrs Benson's StoryThe Kiss

**Disclaimer**: I don't own iCarly but I do own a Jesus coin purse. Haha.

**Chapter Five**

Carly found Freddie sitting in Sam's 'room'. He was staring off into space, listening to her PearPod. She had gone to do some grocery shopping, and then got sidetracked with other matters.

Freddie didn't budge as she stepped in, the dim lamp sitting in the room creating a halo like effect around his fluffed hair. For a moment she thought he was attractive, as a male outside of the friend spectrum. Then she shut it down and put her mind in the right place. He was Freddie, one of her best friends.

"What are you doing here?" She asked sitting down with him. He didn't turn to her but he seemed to realize that she was there.

"Waiting." was all he said.

"For?" she prodded him to continue.

"Sam." His one word answers weren't helping at all.

"Why?" she asked looking at him. He seemed to have found an obstruction in the wall and continued to stare straight at it, as if it were giving him all the answers about life.

"To see how the talk went." he mumbled.

Carly was getting annoyed with this zombie impersonator.

"What are you talking about, Freddie? Snap out of it!" she shouted and started to shake his shoulders.

"Nothing good can come of this." he said, now looking up at her for the first time. What she found was shocking to say the least. Freddie was worried and scared about something.

"What?"

"I can't talk about it. I don't even want to think about it. So much drama..." he shook his head.

"Freddie, just lie down and relax, I'm going to go and uh-" she didn't finish her sentence as she backed up and exited that area. Something was definitely going on. Things just seemed to be popping up out of nowhere. Sam's mom dying, her dad coming back, Spencer adopting Sam, Mrs. Benson freaking out about Sam's mom's death and those video tapes. Wherever Sam was at that moment, Freddie didn't like it. He must have already heard whatever was being said. Freddie the Protector was present again.

Carly wondered what was going on in his zombie brain at that moment.

**

* * *

**

"I've kept this buried so long. I was so guilty for so many years and spiteful, jealous and angry." the older woman sat across from a younger female.

Sam had been sitting there for ten minutes listening to Mrs. Benson ramble on about how it was all her fault. Finally it was getting to be annoying and she had to stop this now.

"Mrs. B. please stop. Just tell me everything." Sam turned and tried to stop the arms that were swinging around dramatically.

"I'm sorry. This is hard. Okay." she took a deep breath and calmed herself down. "Where was I?" she asked looking Sam in the eyes.

"Um...Mrs. B, can I ask you something?"

"Sure." she said looking worried.

"These secrets that you've kept have to do with you, your husband and my parent's right?" the older woman nodded. Sam's thoughts had just taken her to dark places. Somewhere that had triggered her to worry about something that she didn't want to address in the first place. But she had to know. "Freddie isn't my....brother is he?" She understood why this thought disturbed her on so many levels.

Mrs. Benson's shoulders started to shake and then a noise started to emit from her mouth as she busted out laughing. Sam's face contorted into a frightened expression as Mrs. Benson held her sides and tried to get control over her laughter.

"No, he's not." she finally answered still giggling.

"Well that's a relief." Sam muttered, hoping that she hadn't said it too loud.

"Why's that?" Mrs. Benson asked giving her a squinted look.

"Huh?" Sam looked surprised. "Oh, no uh, just that I wouldn't want to be related to a dork." she tried to cover up her embarrassment by looking at the magazine on the table, which was wrapped up in plastic, weird. "So you were saying that you noticed a change in their relationship." Sam stated, trying to get back to the point of this gathering.

"Oh, right. Okay." she collected herself and continued. "They seemed closer after a huge fight they'd had. This was before I'd decided to date Nathan. They'd spend all their time together; most times I had meetings at school to go to or fencing practice with my father. I'd started to notice Nathan more when we got into our teenage years. His voice changed and he was very handsome. He'd grown up in a sense. He was still our nerd though and part of me had trouble getting past it. I was selfish in that respect."

"Why didn't my mother just tell him and get it over with?" Sam asked raising an eyebrow.

"I honestly don't know. If she had years before I took an interest, maybe things would have been different. But we can't go back and change how life is."

"So once you started dating Nathan, what happened?" prodded Sam.

"Sarah made herself scarce a lot of the time. She started finding other people to be around and joining clubs just to avoid us. At first Nathan didn't notice. But then after a few weeks he decided to go talk to her. I stayed out of it because he knew her much better, despite how close we all were."

Sam felt weird, almost like 'déjà vu'. Not that the situation that Mrs. B was describing paralleled exactly with hers but still.

"After that?"

"Sarah seemed fine with it. I didn't notice at first how much it hurt her. I was in my own world and wasn't always observant enough to catch things like that around me. I knew I could trust Nathan not to wander, not that his intent was to. I also knew that Sarah wasn't planning on ruining our relationship either. Which is what was wrong with this whole thing; I should have let him go and given Sarah a chance. One chance that's all but I was so selfish."

"You can't think like that. Then you wouldn't have had Freddo and I wouldn't exist. Things happen for a reason." She couldn't believe she was saying this. Where did all that come from?

"You're right." she fiddled with the fabric of her shirt, picking off little bits of lint. "Sarah eventually met Roger, who had moved to our school in sophomore year. While Nathan and I were dating she began hanging out with the jocks and he made the team that year. They started dating junior year and at the end of senior year he asked her to marry him. She didn't hesitate and around that time Nathan and I were engaged as well. Roger and I became fast friends, best friends even. We were a lot alike, he even fenced. When we were all twenty we became parents. Freddie came first in February and than you came in April. While Sarah and I were pregnant I wanted to have a little girl, because your mom already knew she was going to have a girl. I didn't want to know the sex of my baby beforehand so I waited to see."

"That makes more sense. Freddie mentioned it before but now I get it." Sam nodded.

"We were just so excited about being mothers and starting our lives. We fell into a routine. We'd always get together at least four times out of the week, with you kids and all of us. We were young and still loved having fun but we weren't terribly irresponsible with you two."

"So, why didn't you ever tell me? In all this time we've known each other why didn't you say something?"

"I couldn't. I was still so mad at your mother that it linked to you. My childishness I suppose. I hadn't seen you since you were five. Freddie had just turned six at that time."

"So were me and Freddie friends when we were little?"

"Kind of. You always wanted to play in mud and get into your mom's makeup as a toddler. Freddie tagged along with you and I'd end up yelling at both of you by the end of it while your mom video taped it. She loved her cameras and camcorders. She and Nathan had that in common. He could never put down his camera for a moment. They'd video record every waking moment with you kids as well as our hang out time. He gave them all to your mom though and asked her to put them away. I don't know if she kept them or not." Sam looked away and tried not to give anything away. She needed those tapes now more than ever. "On nights when we'd get a babysitter and go out it never came to my attention that your mother was still in love with Nathan. I didn't notice it. Now that I think about it I can see it in my mind. The subtle looks across the table, the way she'd talk to him at times. I never thought I had to worry about it. He was married to me after all and he cared for me."

Sam nodded and tried to processes all of it. Everything she'd heard so far made her think of her two best friends. The similarities were so obvious yet so plainly different. Carly constantly rejected Freddie and has yet to show interest in him. Yet Carly was very observant and aware of things, even when she pretended not to. Freddie 'seemed' to have given up on Carly but that's from her point of view. She could be missing something. Not that she actually cared if the nub decided to sweep Carly off her feet and dazzle her in his nerd way. No she didn't care at all.

"But something had shifted in our group." continued Mrs. Benson, grabbing Sam's attention.

"What was that?"

"When you and Freddie were four, almost five your dad started to notice things that I'd missed. He and I would meet up and talk about it without Nathan and Sarah. I didn't believe him at first. I couldn't imagine it in a million years. Yet now I can, years later I can clearly see it."

"What?" Sam leaned closer, finding that she was completely curious and interested.

Mrs. Benson looked up at her and then frowned, her face cracking with sadness.

"Nathan and Sarah. It took him all their lives to finally realize that she was what he really needed. They spent so much time together after we all were married and had kids. I worked at the hospital and Roger produced music downtown. Sarah had her own job at the studio; she used to work with Nathan as well. They saw each other everyday and somehow he realized how important she was to him. How he hadn't realized it until then, I'm not sure. Our marriage was falling apart as it was. I was working long hours so we never got to see one another. A few weeks before he died I went down to surprise him on his lunch break and-" she cut off.

"What?" Sam urged.

"They were kissing, right behind one of the backgrounds where no one could see."

Sam wasn't sure what she should do. She never comforts people and if she tries it's always awkward. So she reached her hand out from the distance between them and patted her shoulder looked around her, feeling odd about this act. In what alternate universe would she attempt to comfort crazy Mrs. B?

"From my view it looked as though Sarah was the one to kiss him. I was so mad and hurt so I left. Nathan and I fought that night and he defended Sarah, saying that he kissed her and she told him that it wasn't right. I didn't believe him at the time and cut off ties with Sarah after that. Roger didn't know of course, well not at first."

"What about the day that he died?" she hated to have to ask this.

"We hadn't talked the morning he left for work. I hadn't seen Sarah in weeks and Roger kept trying to get the information out of me. Despite my feelings towards her at that moment I couldn't tell him. I still loved her too much." Mrs. Benson wiped a few stray tears from her face. "From what I was told the two had been discussing the set when the rafters above snapped and came toward them. Sarah tried to get him out of the way but it was too late, he was crushed from the force of it. Sarah had been hit with the end of it and it cut her up pretty bad. But she tried desperately to pull off the rafter and save him. When I arrived they were loading him up into the ambulance to be taken to the hospital for the autopsy. Sarah was being loaded up into another one. She was trying to get away from them to check on Nathan. I could hear her franticly trying to get to him and crying out. It was horrible."

Sam felt her stomach clinch uncomfortably at this. Somehow she felt like she knew her mother better than she had before. Her father leaving made more sense too. The statement he made earlier surfacing in her mind. "Second fiddle". He must have found out about her feelings for Nathan and he couldn't handle it.

"After that day I couldn't even look at your mother without remembering that day. After all these years I couldn't forgive her, even while she was suffering on her own. She was even at the funeral, but she kept her distance from me. She didn't have you with her though and I wasn't sure why. Maybe she didn't want you to have to go to your first funeral so soon. Freddie was so lost after that. He didn't understand where his father was. But he missed him and so I finally had to sit him down and explain 'death' do him as best I could to a little boy."

"My mom tried to do that too. But I couldn't understand why she was telling me in the first place. After a while 'uncle Nathan' sort of disappeared from my memories. I couldn't even remember being playmates with Freddie." Sam shrugged.

"Once Freddie was old enough he understood what happened to his father. He doesn't know that I know but he searched on the Internet for his father and found an article on it from the newspaper on that day."

"I've been meaning to ask this, if it's okay?" she asked and Mrs. Benson nodded. "Okay so your maiden name is Benson and Freddie kept your last name as well. So what was Nathan's last name?" Mrs. Benson looked startled for a moment.

"Well, Nathan's adopted parents' last name was Lewis but he told me that he wanted to take my name when we got married so that it would be like my family 'adopted' him. Supposedly they adopted him after his biological mother passed away during birth. They had him since and raised him as their own. Around that time Sarah had been born soon after him and they just became friend since. Does that make sense?"

"Actually it does." Sam remembered once that Freddie wanted to be the second Mr. Carly Shay. She tried not to smile at how silly that had been.

"Does that clear up your question?"

"Yeah it does." Sam looked thoughtful for a moment. "So what happened with my parents? I remember the day that dad left and yet it feels incomplete."

"Your father left. I was so mad at him for that. He couldn't see how much your mom needed him at that time. I wish I could have given up my pride for a moment to see that she needed me too. He called me and yelled at me, saying that I should have told him. Your mom told him that she and Nathan had kissed a few weeks before and that she still loved him, even after all that time. She begged him not to leave her too. But he couldn't even see straight from all the anger. He stormed out and disappeared for a few years. He did call me once a couple years ago to ask how you were. I told him as much as I thought he should know." She looked away, ashamed.

"Why didn't you want Freddie to hang out with me?" Sam narrowed her eyes at the older woman.

"This is going to sound weird but I saw you as another Sarah. Part of me didn't want the same thing to happen again. You and Freddie fought just like they did. I've even noticed a change between you two over the last year. After you told the whole world that he hadn't kissed a girl before." Mrs. Benson countered. "How did you manage to convince him to come home?"

"Isn't it obvious?" Sam asked feeling cornered for the first time in their whole conversation. Mrs. Benson seemed to have already put two and two together before she even asked.

"I guessed as much." the older woman looked defeated.

"It's not like we're going to fall in love and run off into the sunset. Freddie will always like girls like Carly. Classy girls who take time putting themselves together and making it look effortless. I don't even like him that way." she lied.

"He'll realize it one day, just like his father. You and Sarah are more alike than you realize. But remember you aren't her, you have a chance to be happy." for the first time [minus the crazy laugh] Mrs. Benson smiled at her.

"Was this what you didn't discuss with Freddie?"

"Sort of, this and the bits about your mom and his father. I didn't think he should have to hear that."

"Well this conversation was interesting." Sam found herself saying. "Can I ask you something else?"

"What?"

"What should I do about Roger?"

"I can't tell you what to do, but you should do what's best for yourself. Not for him. If you want to get to know him then do it but don't put your whole life in his hands."

"I don't intend to trust him. I have my doubts about him. I'm not really sure what I want from him after all this time."

"Once you find out then go from there. Why don't you go home and get some rest? Things will look better in the morning." Standing up they both walked to the door and Mrs. Benson opened it for her. "Tell Freddie to be home before eleven." she called before closing the door.

Sam stood in the hallway in a mild daze. Had that conversation really happened?

When she entered the Shay apartment she found Spencer sitting on the floor fiddling with clay and feathers. He stopped working when she walked in. She wasn't expecting what came next when he walked over and scooped her up into a hug.

"Spencer, what the-" she started but found her face being squished into his shoulder.

"Are you okay? Did she try to give you a tick bath? What sort of demonic torture devices did she try to torture you with?" he rambled on. She managed to get her face unstuck from his shoulder.

"Spencer I'm fine! Let go!" She was then placed back on the ground. "She wanted to talk-"

"So you were tortured! Oh the humanity!" he dramatically cried.

"No, but there were a few horror movie moments." she grinned.

"So you're okay then?"

"Yeah." she looked around. "Where are Carly and Freddork?"

"Carly decided to call it a night. You know how she is on a school night, to bed at ten. Freddie is up in the studio."

"I'll go up and tell him it's safe to go home now." she laughed.

The lights were dim when she entered. The only lights that were on were in her 'room'. She stepped in and didn't bother to turn on any of the lights. What was Freddie doing?

She entered the opening and found him curled up on her bed fast asleep with her PearPod on. Standing there for a moment she took in this sight and found that it surprisingly pleasant. He was turned to the side with his right arm tucked under the pill while the left rested near his face on the pillow. He wasn't wearing his shoes either. He must have fallen asleep a while ago.

She had two choices, either go wake him up or let him stay. She was sure that Spencer wouldn't mind, seeing as how it was Freddie. But could she share her bed with him? It wasn't like they were doing anything wrong by just sleeping.

She couldn't do it. She had to wake him up.

Crawling onto the bed she got as close as she could and shook his shoulder. He grumbled something and hugged the pillow.

"Fredweird get up." she shook him more but he refused. She remembered that he had the headphones and pulled out one of them. "Freddork, get up, its late and you need to go home." she said in a normal tone.

"Don't....wanna..." he mumbled. "Sam...gonna...be.."

"What?"

"Sam?" he asked half a sleep. He looked up at her through half shut eyes.

"Dork." she smirked. "Wake up. It's safe now to go home."

"How...did it go?" he asked yawning. He was still lying down and she figured it was safe to stay there for the moment. She crossed her legs and faced him, about ten inches between them. He turned a little to face her but didn't want to get up.

"Fine actually." It really was fine, she learned a lot about her mother and father and even his parents. Yet the parallels between their situation and hers at the moment still bothered her. That must have been what Freddie was worried about, her taking that information wrong.

"I guess I was more freaked out. You seem fine with it. How's that even possible?"

"I don't know. But I'm not having a nervous breakdown like some nub." she laughed. "Why were you so freaked out?" She asked even though she had her opinions on why.

He sat up then and they were still close to one another, knees almost touching. In the light his eyes were alive. She found herself being pulled in by them. She forced herself to block out that part of herself.

Freddie looked down at her while she had an internal battle. She looked better, yet there was still something wrong. This close proximity was starting to get to him. Normally they didn't have this much of a problem being alone together. But they were sitting on a bed in a dim room staring at each other and all he could think of at that moment was to kiss her. But that wouldn't go over so well. He didn't know why he wanted to do that in the first place. She was still Sam after all, his female best friend. She had grown though, into a young woman. She hadn't changed too much over the year but then he wasn't one to notice things like that, until now.

"Freddo? Hello?" she turned her head to the side and waved her hand before his face. "You in there?" he watched the hand go back and forth and wanted to reach out and touch it.

What was wrong with him? He could feel his heart beating against his ribcage, in his ears. He felt hot all over, like someone had turned up the heat underneath him.

"What?" he asked looking into her eyes again. "What were we talking about?"

"I asked you why you were so freaked out about what your mom told you."

"Oh." he started. "I just...I noticed...I wondered....feared...I don't know how to explain it."

"You think that we are going to end up like them?"

How did she always do that? Know exactly what he's trying to say.

"Something like that." he nodded.

She looked down at the comforter for a moment and picked at it idly. He hadn't really seen this side of Sam before. She looked like she was trying to find something to say.

"We're all friends. What could possibly change that? I mean it's not like you're madly in love with Carly anymore. You got over it and might find someone outside of our little circle." she was trying to avoid the part about her heart. The one that wasn't suppose to care at all. She made sure to tell it to shut the hell up before it even tried to speak up.

"Sam." he stated her name but she wouldn't look up completely. "Sam." he said again. He just wanted to look into her eyes.

"Hm?" she allowed her hair to fall over her shoulders and into her lap.

"Will you just look at me, geez?" She was startled out of her daze and met his eyes.

"What?" she snapped glaring at him, not caring for his tone.

"Why do you have to be so difficult?" he glared back.

"You're the one who keeps calling my name when I'm sitting right here in front of you!" she growled. "What do you want to say?" she was surprised by what happened next. Freddie had the sides of her face in his hands and was still glaring at her. She continued to stare him down, even though she was trying to not move a muscle. Her heart was pounding in her ears as he stroked the side of her cheek with his thumb. It felt soft and gentle, nice even. She could feel her head getting light and her breath hitching, the air getting thinner as his face came towards her and captured her lips with his. It was more passionate then their first and she found herself responding despite the fact that it was a bad idea, a really bad idea. This went against her plan to remain friends with the boy.

Freddie pulled her in more; unfortunately they both were on their knees and moving around too much. They ended up falling on the floor in a tangle of limbs; still kissing. They couldn't stop. Freddie leaned over her as she pressed her hands into his chest, clinching his t-shirt.

This was wrong. Sam knew this but it felt so good.

She pulled away for air and looked up into his eyes. They were rimmed with want and need, for her. Her heart dropped into her stomach. This wasn't supposed to happen, ever.

"This wasn't right. We can't." was all she could say. "I can't do this." she shook her head. "I think you should go home now." she attempted to up on a strong face and held back her heart, putting it away. "We're friends and that can't change Freddie. You have to understand that. Don't make me give you reasons why because then I'll have to get emotional and then violent."

He sighed and sat up. His hair was slightly frazzled and his lips were a little swollen. She sat up as well and they sat like that for a moment. He glanced over at her and he must have seen something that had snapped him out of it.

"Sam, I'm sorry I did that. You're right, we shouldn't be doing this. What was I thinking?" he laughed. Inside he was cracking. "I'm going to get home. I'll see you in the morning." He stood and went to help her up but she pushed his hand away and pushed herself up. "Good night, Sam." he gave her a strange look and started toward the opening in the wall.

"Night." she whispered holding her arms and watching him go.

She sat down on the corner of her bed and tried to calm her heart down. Why had Freddie even done that? It wasn't like it was unpleasant, but still. Why'd he have to go and ruin their perfect working friendship? The first time they kissed it was just to get things out of the 'first kiss' wise. What was this kiss for?

She really didn't need this on the pile of her problems. But she knew that she could handle it if it became a problem. Freddie wouldn't act any different tomorrow and she would go right back to treating him like she always had. They could talk about it? Then again maybe it was something that shouldn't be talked about.

What if it were just teenage hormones? The boy didn't date, she didn't either and they were in a setting fit for a moment like that.

She had other things to worry about, like Roger. Should she even talk to he let alone let him into her life? He was the one to leave. She stayed; she was there through all of her mother's 'moments'. Where was he? Obviously not with them, helping her mother heal her broken heart. Then again she could just talk to him and see what he has to say. If she doesn't like it she can just tell him to leave and never talk to her again.

But a big part of her wants him to stay, she could faintly remember a few good times before he left and those mattered to her. Mrs. Benson told her it was all up to her. Her mother said that it was her choice and she was fine with whatever she decided. Would it be so bad to want to know who your father is?

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**Panda Note**: Okay so here's chapter five. I started it last night but got super tired and wanted sleep. So I woke up this morning and finished it. It only took me about two hours to write this. But I put a lot effort into it so review if you're reading this. I had over 1,000 hits since I last checked. It would mean a lot if you reviewed and let me know if I should change things, do other things differently etc. I thought everyone should have a little Seddie to nibble upon. I hope you enjoyed it!

**annie the mouse** - I'm glad you like it! Thanks for the review, hope you came back!

REVIEW!


	7. Sarahs Remains Part 1

**Recently Edited! - June 17, 2009**

**Disclaimer**: I still don't own this hilarious show, so I write fanfiction to play with them a bit.

**Chapter Six**

By the time that Friday had come around, the three teens had managed to throw something together for the show. After what happened on Monday night Freddie and Sam attempted to get back to normal. The morning in question, you could clearly feel the tension as the greeted each other in the hallway. They stayed as far from each other as possible. Sam looked like she'd rather be somewhere else and Freddie tried his best to act like normal. But they weren't back to where they should be. Once then left the hallways and made it to his car, Sam had every intention of climbing in the back. He gave her a hard look that said out-loud 'Carly is right there, she'll know something is up if you do that'. She slid into the front seat like always and Carly sat in back, missing their silent conversation.

The whole way she made sure that her arm didn't brush his on the armrests. They gave each other significant glances every few minutes and Carly pretended not to notice it all. Sam decided that she should do what she always does and fiddle with his radio for a decent station. Each station had a song that made her glare at the radio until she gave up and left it on whatever station she last stopped on. The song filled the car, causing the two to clam up even more. Freddie gave her a 'why?' look and she just shrugged. The radio hadn't been their friend that morning. The songs that had played were 'Everything You Want' by Vertical Horizon, 'Can't Take My Eyes off You' sung by Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons and just before they got to school 'It's In His Kiss' by Betty Everett.

The whole day at school had been like that. In classes they were more aware of one another than usual. At lunch they'd try to make sure to no touch each other, while swapping out their lunches. It wasn't as easy as they thought it should have been. Their hands brushed and touched more that day then any other time before. Carly hadn't said a word to them about their strange behavior and they hoped that they were convincing enough.

Sam even wiped her hands on his new shirt after eating a thing of canned cheese, something she would normally do. She cut out the bottom of his bag without him knowing and when they got to his car he wondered why his bag was so light. They bickered all the way home, with more bite than usual. It might have had to do with their hurt feelings. Freddie felt stupid for 'attacking' her like he did. At the time he was just so drawn to her mouth, his hormones shot into overdrive. There was something about her eyes that just seemed to draw him in, what made he react. They were always the brightest and lively when they were arguing or she was being mischievous.

When they got home he had smudges all over his face, his bag was ruined and he had to carry all he books and papers around with him. But he felt better about the whole situation with Sam. She was willing to go back to normal if he could.

Yet something about Monday night still bothered him. She responded to the kiss with just as much need as he did. Was it just because he was a male and she wanted to kiss someone? Or was it because it was him? The kiss was amazing and it had been with the only person he'd ever really kissed, again. It was better then their first time. It could have been because it just happened and he went with a feeling rather than just experimenting.

She was right though, they were friends and that couldn't change, it was too important.

By Thursday things seemed to have calmed down. They worked as much as they could on what they would do for the iCarly show that Friday, with Carly still asking Sam if she was sure if she wanted to do it.

So there he stood watching the two prepare for the show, discussing each bit they'd do and so on. They began to jump around and do random dance moves to get ready.

"Are you sure about this? We could just tell the viewers that there have been personal family issues and we can't do the show night." Carly told the blond next to her, looking a bit worried.

"No, I want to do the show. We can't let the fans down, Carls." Sam smiled up at the brunette and bumped her friend with her hip. "Let's do an awesome show!" she cheered.

Freddie looked over at her while Carly was fiddling with something over by the elevator. The blond raised an eyebrow at him and he rolled his eyes. Each time she looked into his eyes she recalled that same look from Monday night, the pure want. It was eternally burned into her mind and as much as things had fallen back into normalcy, that wasn't going away. What did it mean anyways?

She refused to think of what it meant, it was just a fluke. That's what she continued to tell herself over and over until his eyes left hers. It didn't seem fair that he could do this. That night he'd set her skin on fire with just the softest touch. He caught her off guard and disarmed her in a way that she couldn't even begin to understand. He had sent shock waves through her veins as his lips connected with hers. How did someone learn how to do that; the internet? When did the nub become such an expert at that?

Even thinking about it was causing her body to tingle all over. She made sure not to make anymore eye contact with the tech producer.

Carly raised an eyebrow at her when she came back over to the blond. She got really close and whisper to her.

"Are you blushing?"

Sam's eyes grew wide at this and she turned her body so that Freddie couldn't see.

"No." she whispered back.

"Yes you are, your face all pink." jabbed Carly touching her cheek with her index finger.

"Shh, I'm not." She swatted her hand away and tried to calm down. Pretty soon the pink was going away.

"Now you're not. What happened?"

The brunette had seen the little exchange and was getting more and more curious. Freddie looked embarrassed after Sam looked away. He tried to focus on the task at hand while avoiding everyone's eyes.

"Show starts in two minutes!" he called getting his camera ready. This part of it always got them excited, the countdown. Carly ran her hands through her air and stretched her arms. Sam was doing random stretches with her legs, bending the entire thing straight up to the air.

"Goodness Sam, you're flexible. Where did you learn to do that?" Carly asked looking at Sam, impressed. Sam grinned and did some other stretches.

"You remember when we were ten and J'Mamaw came to visit? I went to her house for the summer and she took me to these dance classes. I hated every minute of it and I was always sore but I couldn't say no to her so I just went through the classes. Supposedly I could have been some sort of frilly dancer. No thanks!" she laughed and started to jump around, getting herself pumped up for the show.

"Ready? Starting in 5...4...3...2..."

"Fear not people of earth, this is iCarly, here to save you from boredom!" Carly stated nodding toward the camera.

"This is Carly!" Sam stated using her hands to show off Carly.

"And this is Sam." Carly did the same.

"Tonight we've got a show that we hope you'll enjoy."

"We love hearing from all of our iCarly viewers so tonight we'll be answering your questions."

"Fredward." Sam didn't quite look at his face but rather at his chin as she said this. "Who do we have?"

He also avoided her eyes as he brought up the first question.

"This one's from Lisa F. from Los Angeles. She asks 'Is it true that Spencer can carve a block of cheese into the shape of Sam's head?'"

The two hosts looked at each other and giggled.

"Yes Lisa, it's true. Spencer it's time!" Carly called.

Spencer came in looking around awkwardly as the camera swayed towards him. He gave a wave as he joined his sister and Sam at the table. There sat a nice sized block of cheese and a sculpting knife. He picked it up and gave Sam a good look and then began to sculpt away at the cheese, it didn't take long before he was finished and lifted it up to show the camera.

"I look delicious!" Sam cheered trying to grab the cheese out of Spencer's hand.

"Sam, just wait for a little bit!" Carly scolded. You could hear Sam's sad moan while the camera was still on the block of Sam cheese.

"That's what I'd look like in cheese form people!" Sam said into the camera, pointing at the cheese. "Can I eat it now?" Carly nodded and Spencer handed it over to Sam. She bit into the top part of her head and chewed happily. "Mama loves her some cheese!" she grinned.

Carly giggled at this and Spencer exited before the camera could be put back on him.

"While Sam finishes off the cheese why don't we have another question Freddie?"

Sam nodded in agreement and continued to eat. Freddie held back a smile at this. She was happiest when she had yummy food and it was somewhat endearing. Dare he think, cute?

"Jesse L. wants to know how come Gibby hasn't been on the show lately."

"That's a good question!" Carly grinned. "Gibby has been really busy lately with a certain lady of his. But guess what? He's here tonight just for you! Gibby!" she called and Gibby came out ripping off his shirt.

"Hit it!" he shouted jumping up on the table and doing his hilarious Gibby dance. While this was happening Sam and Carly stood off with Freddie and watched. Sam had somehow ended up squished between her two best friends. She felt all the heat coming off of Freddie and she thought for a moment that she might pass out. When had he started smelling good? The smell of him was all around her and she felt lightheaded.

He was having the same problem. She was so close and she smelled like cherry lollipops. When had he begun to notice how she smelled? It was also dimmer in the room while Gibby's music played. She looked up at him for a moment and he did the same. The glance was intense to say the least. The clear and honest want showed through each other's eyes. In the dark it was much harder to avoid it, even while an episode of iCarly was going on. What they didn't realize was that Carly was watching them from the corner of her eye and had a smile on her face.

Whatever was going on with the two of them must be good, because those looks were speaking volumes to her. She took another note down in her mental notebook.

Once Gibby was finished he grabbed his shirt and waved good-bye to the camera and vanished out of the elevator. Carly and Sam resumed their positions in front of the camera and continued with the show.

After the hour was up the group wished their fans a good night and week and ended the show.

"That was a really good show guys! Seriously random and we didn't even plan it out like we usually do." Freddie commented smiling.

"Yeah, it was and having Gibby back on the show was great." Carly replied taking a sip of her water. "Did he lose weight? He looked great out there."

"It looked like it." he agreed, though he hadn't been paying much attention to Gibby until he passed by to go to the elevator.

Sam leaned against the car partly listening to their conversation with a strange look on her face.

"Sam?" Carly called and she looked up.

"Yeah?" she asked looking thoughtful.

"Are you okay? You seem a little lost at the moment." she came over and leaned up against the car with her.

"Oh, yeah I'm fine. Just thinkin'" she shrugged.

"Is that even possible?" Freddie joked. "Isn't there sawdust up there." he poked her in the forehead and grinned down at her.

"At least there's something in there, other than the wind." she countered.

"Guys." Carly sighed.

"He started it." Sam stated pointing an accusing finger at Freddie, glaring.

"No I didn't." he replied, denying it.

"Yes you did you nub!" she shouted getting angry. He began to laugh at her, hard. "What the flip is your problem you moronic dork!" she growled.

"Your face!" he countered.

"What!?" she shouted again, her face growing red. He was still laughing even as his death loomed before him at 5'7 and petite. Her blue eyes were alive, just how he liked them. He'd never tell her that or anyone else if he could help it.

"What are you going to do about it?" he taunted her grinning like a moron. Carly looked from him to Sam, scared out of her mind at what would transpire in a few seconds. What was Freddie thinking?

The next thing she knew Sam had pounced and Freddie went down to the ground. Carly half expected it to end there, that Freddie was done for. Sam had the upper hand for a few minutes, pinning him down and pulling his hair. He wasn't having any of that and managed to link his leg behind hers and flip her over so that he was now on top. He made sure to pin down her legs and hands so she couldn't attack.

"That wasn't very nice Sam." he grinned down at her. She glared up at him and growled. She wiggled from underneath him in a sad attempt to get up.

"Get off Freddork!"

Carly laughed nervously at this and found that despite the situation this looked intimate. The way that Freddie was looking down at her was intense. Even Sam seemed to be having trouble ignoring the closeness. She debated whether or not she should break this up before something happened. Then again maybe she should just leave them alone.

"Uh...guys..." she started, trying to get her attention.

They continued to bicker back and forth while looking at each other in a way that she's never seen before. It was hard to watch something as powerful as this was.

"You're an idiot!" she yelled in his face. "Sometimes I wonder why I even talk to you."

"I wonder the same thing myself, when it comes to being friends with you." he replied. "I must be out of my mind."

"I'd say I have to agree. Look at who your mother is. That woman belongs in a straight jacket."

"Don't talk about my mother like that." he didn't actually care what she said; he'd heard it all before.

"It's hard not to when you give me all the best opportunities to."

"That's so stupid!"

"So is your face!"

"That was the lamest comeback I've ever heard!" he chuckled.

Sam was starting to get annoyed by how cocky he was being about this whole thing. He was stronger then before and she wasn't sure how she was going to get out of this.

Then a thought came to mind. It was dirty and underhanded but he was being so damn annoying that she couldn't deal with what her body was doing from the contract. His hands weren't hurting her at all but they were still forceful. Yet every little imprint in his fingers were sending the same shock waves as before. She wasn't sure if she wanted him to get off of her, if it meant keeping that feeling alive. But she couldn't stay like that with him in the middle of the iCarly studio.

She decided then to act. To end this before Carly started to think that something was up. She stopped struggling and laid still. He looked confused by this but didn't let her go. Next she pushed away her anger and smiled up at him. Now he was really confused. What was going in her mind? He could tell that she was up to something, he just wasn't sure what. He kept his eyes fixed on her face and waited for her to make her next move.

She was still able to move her head, which she did. She got close to his face and then brushed her cheek against his as she made her way to his ear. He froze in shock as she nibbled on the tip of his earlobe. Then she worked her way down his jaw. His hold was starting to waver, she could feel it. She wasn't even sure what she was doing, she'd never acted like this with a boy before. But he wasn't moving and this seemed to cause him to lose his concentration. He made a strange noise in his throat and closed his eyes for a moment.

"So that was your plan, huh." he whispered, his voice coated in something else she couldn't place.

She reached his neck and nibbled on a piece of his flesh, which must have been sensitive because he let go of her arms and jumped up. She sat there on the floor watching him run out of the room quickly. She was definitely confused now.

Carly stood there with her mouth agape like a fish. She was trying to form a sentence but nothing was coming out but a weird gurgling sound.

Had she gone too far this time? Why did she even decide to do what she just did? Where was her brain just now? For that matter how did she find a spot on his neck that would freak him out?

"Glad that's over." she found herself saying, still sitting on the floor looking at Carly. She could still feel his hands on her, his soft skin on her lips. This was so wrong! Wrong! Wrong!

Getting up she headed for the door and left a stunned Carly standing in the middle of the studio.

"What the chopsticks was that?!" she finally said out loud to thin air. 'Did Sam just….I don't even know what to call what she just did?' she thought to herself standing there looking at the spot where her two friends had just been. This whole situation amplified her belief that something was up with her two friends.

**

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**

At three in the morning Sam found herself unable to sleep. A certain tech producer kept coming to her in dreams and she was pretty fed up with it. What right did the nub have invading her only escape from reality? There had to be some way to end all these weird body reactions. She couldn't continue reacting to him like this. Something bad was going to happen and she'd end up losing someone she thought of as a dear friend. This would never be said out loud though; it was safe in the recesses of her mind, where they belonged.

Freddie didn't return after his magnificent exit. He texted Carly and told her that he'd see her Saturday. Speaking of Carly, she hadn't said much to her after that little 'moment'. She was still in shock after it and just informed the blond of Freddie's text then excused herself to take a long shower.

Saturday was when she decided to carry out the rest of her mother's wishes. One of the reasons she had put it off for a whole week was because of Roger.

She turned over and looked up at the ceiling. From the high windows she could faintly see the lights from outside shine through in rays of blues and greens.

Roger hadn't called or came by again and she didn't know how to get in contact with him. As much as she wanted to forget he existed she knew she couldn't. Her mother had a few requests for her that she had discussed with a lawyer on Wednesday. Sarah had actually had things set up without her knowing. One wish of hers was that Roger be there when Sam released her into the ocean. Despite her feelings she had to at least do this one act for her. Her feelings for Sarah hadn't changed much, there was still a bit of spite leftover.

For a moment she wondered if she should ask Carly and Freddie to come along on her grand adventure. Carly most likely, she knew she'd need a friend there to distract her from having to talk to Roger. A part of her wanted to have the little nerdy nub there too, she wasn't really sure yet why that might be.

It was too early to decide yet, she still had to find Roger.

Rolling back onto her stomach, curled up and pressed her face into the pillow. The one in which Freddie had slept on. It was sad and down right pathetic but it seemed to help her sleep better. It felt almost as though he were right there with her. That thought scared her in so many ways that she couldn't describe. Nothing could ever come of this little 'fling' if it could even be called that. He was just infatuated with her and would get over it once he was at his fancy school. At least that's what she continued to tell herself as she pushed away any feelings for him. She could never tell anyone about this, never; not even Carly.

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She was the last to wake up that morning. Spencer was cooking Canadian bacon and chorizo with eggs. It smelled amazing. Her feet led her into the kitchen, still wearing her pajamas which consisted of some boxer shorts and a tank top. Last night it was a little warm and she couldn't stand sleeping in pants. Normally she wouldn't dare to wear anything as 'revealing' as this. Not when there were two males around who were still pretty young and hormonally driven. She knew she didn't have to worry about Spencer, since he was like her big brother, but that Freddie, he was a different story completely.

"Good morning sunshine!" greeted Spencer as he mixed the meat around. He looked over his shoulder and raised an eyebrow at her attire.

"That smells good." she mumbled going straight for the coffee pot, ignoring his raised eyebrow. For some reason she just couldn't get a good nights sleep last night. She hadn't realized that Carly wasn't there. At first she figured that the girl was still asleep, which never happened on Saturdays but Spencer cleared that up.

"Carly had to go to Yakima for the day to help Granddad with a few things."

"Oh." she frowned and felt kind of low after hearing this. She needed Carly for this one.

"What's the matter?" he moved the skillet off the stove top and turned it off. Then he came over and sat across from her at the island counter.

"Its nothing." she took a swig of her coffee and then scratched at her head. She needed a shower bad, her hair was a mess and she was pretty sure she smelled funny.

Spencer was just sitting there, arms folded and staring at her intently.

"Sam, you do know that I'm here if you need me, or if you don't but still want to talk or eat cheese. The point is that you're more than welcomed to come to me if you need to talk."

She took another swig and gave him a thoughtful look. He was right; she knew she could go to him if anything were bothering her. Despite his unorthodox way of running a household she knew that he was someone she could count on. He'd do anything for Carly and herself, she knew this. So why couldn't she just tell him why her heart hurt a little bit?

"I'm supposed to take my mother's ashes to the beach today." she blurted out quickly to get it out of the way.

"Oh." he looked down at the counter surface for a moment. "You wanted Carly there with you when you did it. I'm sorry I didn't know Sam." he looked crestfallen.

"Why are you sorry?"

"Granddad asked either one of us to go and I figured I'd stay and cook you some food while Carly goes there to help him out." his shoulders slumped a bit. "Besides that sculpture that's due tomorrow isn't close to finished." he added as an afterthought.

"Spencer, its fine; I sort of have to find Roger and have him tag along." she said timidly, which was very unlike her. She felt weird mentioning his name with Spencer. What with how he defended her in the hallway the other day. It was sort of taboo in her mind to bring up someone that he was trying to protect her from.

"You do? Well that's fine Sam. But maybe I should go with you." he suggested going into 'big brother' mode.

"Would you?" she didn't mean to ask him to go with her.

"Yes! Maybe we could get Freddie to come with us. His car is safer after all." he looked in deep thought for a moment and then nodded to himself. "Yeah that would work out just fine."

"Spencer, I think it'll be okay going with Roger. Don't you have to finish that sculpture for that art dealer by Sunday?" she attempted to distract him by reminding him of what he had just stated minutes before. She cared for Spencer and dare-she-think, loved the goof like a big brother, but she didn't want to make this some big thing. It was going to be bad enough with Roger there. Should she ask Freddie to go? Just for the sake of company besides Roger. If Spencer were to go she'd end up blubbering all over him the whole time. At least with Freddie there she'd be able to hold herself together and get through it in one piece.

"Oh yeah! I'm sorry again Sam. I'm failing you!" he wailed dramatically.

"No you're not. I'll ask Freddie to go with me so that I don't have to deal with Roger the whole way. You need this guy to buy your art, 12,000 is a lot of money." she prodded, trying to make him feel better.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, just go wow them like you always do." she grinned at him. He liked seeing Sam happy; it made him happy as well. But he wondered why she didn't want him to go. Of course he wasn't going to ask her, though he had his own theory as to why she didn't want him to go. She had a tendency to act differently with him then with other people. Because of their long history she didn't care if he saw her cry or get upset, just like with Carly. Not that she had any defining moments he felt he had to write down. But he'd seen her other sides and kept them to himself. Big brother Spencer to the rescue! He grinned to himself as an image of him in a super hero get-up came to mind.

"I'll dazzle them!" he cheered, throwing up his fist into the air.

"So..." she started looking over her shoulder. "Are we going to eat or keep it over there as decoration?" she asked in regular Sam fashion. The delicious smells were working their way across the loft and Sam was trying to keep herself seated while he got her a plate.

Glancing over at the clock on the wall she found that it was almost ten. Freddie would be walking through the door in five seconds. Just as the big hand moved towards the twelve she heard a knock and Spencer yell to come in.

Freddie opened the door and stepped in, closing it behind him. Sam didn't bother to look up as Spencer placed a nice helping of food before her.

"Morning Spencer." he stated and went to the coffee pot. "Sam." he added in his usual 'I'm irritated with you' voice.

"Buenos días, Freddie." Spencer grinned at the younger male.

"Meh..." she replied and began to eat her food. Food was all that was on her mind at the moment and nothing could sway her from it.

Carly had mentioned to him many times that the two teens in his kitchen belonged together. He didn't really want to get involved with their 'love' lives but each time he was around the two he wondered. Sam was obviously refusing to look over at the tech producer while he was a bit flustered and angry. Underneath all that bickering there had to be some romantic feelings, right? Whatever happened last night, Carly was unable to explain it. He vaguely remembered seeing Freddie running out of the loft in a hurry. But he hadn't noticed anything other than that. Carly was still in shock as she left at eight that morning. Poor kid probably would be traumatized for life now.

"Oh crap!" Spencer suddenly snapped up.

"What?" Sam found herself asking while stuffing more Canadian bacon in her mouth. Freddie, with his coffee, sat down across from Sam while Spencer took the seat beside her.

"I'm late!"

"For what?"

"Socko has some of the art supplies I'll need to finish up my sculptures, there's so much to do!"

Sam turned her eyes to the older man next to her and wanted to laugh. She spun around in her seat and smacked his forehead.

"Spencer! Relax." she began. "You're a great artist and you always seem to get things together before the deadline. Just get a move on and go 'dazzle' them." she smiled up at him. He tilted his head to the side and looked at her thoughtfully. Sometimes she could be nice; those there the moments he put away and brought out whenever she became Satan. "Spencer?" she waved her hand before his face. "Hey, snap out of it." she snapped her fingers before his face. Without warning his arms snapped out and pulled her into a hug. She felt her eye twitch a little at this. Spencer was too random for her at times. She patted his back awkwardly, not sure why he was even hugging her anyway. "Uh..." was all she could manage.

He pulled back and kissed her forehead and sprung up from his seat. He vanished into his room to get ready, she assumed.

"That was weird." Freddie stated drinking the rest of his coffee. Not really sure how he should feel about what Spencer just did.

"You're telling me and I was right at the receiving end of it." she finished off her breakfast and got up to place the plate in the sink.

"What are you wearing?" he asked upon seeing her in such a small amount of clothes. She usually had on long sleeved shirts or t-shirts and baggy pajama bottoms. His eyes were wide and he was gaping much like Carly had the night before.

"Clothes." she stated rolling her eyes at him. The cup on the table called her over to finish it, which she did in two gulps. "So Fredward what the cheese-doodles happened to you last night?"

He looked extremely embarrassed. His cheeks were bright red and he refused to look right at her.

"Nothing, I had something I had to do." he mumbled.

"Yeah right, what happened? You practically took off the door when you left."

"I don't want to talk about it." his blush growing by the second. Sam decided to just drop it. "Where's Carly?" he asked trying to change the subject, which she didn't mind him doing. Maybe it was best that she not know why he left last night.

"Yakima."

"Why's she in Yakima?"

"I guess her Granddad needed help or something." she shrugged. She was still a little sad about having to go without her. How was she supposed to ask him to go with her without sounding like she actually wanted him to go? "So what are doing today?" she asked casually.

"Nothing actually; I thought we were all going to do something but I guess I'm stuck with you." he sighed.

"Nope, I have to go to the beach today."

"Why?"

"I've got another request to finish for Sarah." she shrugged again. Something crossed his face then and he suddenly forgot all about his embarrassment.

"Are you going to the one in Seattle or out of town?"

"I was thinking about leaving town to do this one. I still have to find Roger."

"Why would you want to?" he scowled. She glared at him and folded her arms. Normally it wouldn't have bothered her that someone else felt the same distaste for Roger, but why would Freddie? He wasn't involved in any of it after all.

"I don't want to but Sarah wants him there." she frowned and gripped her arms a little tighter.

"Oh." he looked away and took the scowl off of his face.

"I just don't know where to find him." she sighed. "I really don't want to see him."

"I'll go with you if you want." he offered. Played him like a fiddle. How on earth did she know he would say that? She half expected him to just dismiss himself from the loft and go on about his own day. But this was Fredward Benson after all, he wouldn't leave a person hanging, even if they flushed his pet fish down the toilet. Not that his mother would allow him to have a fish, she'd probably say they're filled with disease and that Freddie was allergic.

"I suppose so, but we're going in your car. My truck doesn't have enough room." she told him, rather than asking.

"Fine." he grumbled folding his arms over his chest.

"Now how am I supposed to find Roger?"

Freddie fidgeted in his seat as she paced trying to come up with an idea.

"I think I know how you can find him." he said nervously.

She stopped pacing and looked at him skeptically. She could clearly see that he was uncomfortable and a little nervous. He knew something had been keeping it from her, she could tell by the way he looked away from her guiltily.

"Fredward, what did you do?" she narrowed her eyes at him, he visibly flinched as she stared him down.

He sighed and went to the computer.

"You remember last Friday after the show you went home to get clothes and stuff?" she nodded. "Well I was checking out comments and messages on iCarly and he sent one in wanting to get in contact with you. I thought that I'd message him first to find out if-"

"It was my father or not?" she asked.

"Yeah, we didn't want you to get mad or something so we decided to wait. I knew that you might not want to even see him. So I just kept it to myself. Sorry."

"I wouldn't have wanted to know he messaged but if it'll help get in contract with him, let's do this."

"He left a contact number on the message he sent last." he stated getting into his 'tech mode'. He went through the messages until he cam upon on that had 'Roger Puckett' at the bottom as well as the sender address. "Do you want me to call him?" he asked glancing over at her.

"No I'll do it." she pulled out her phone and went over to the other side of the counter to get the number. Once she dialed it in and pushed the green talk button, she knew there was no turning back.

It rang three times before a very deep voice answered on the other end.

"Hello?" It sounded as if he had just got up. She wasn't sure if this was such a good idea.

"Roger?" she asked keeping her voice as emotionless as she could.

"Yeah? Who's this?" he asked grumpily. He was obviously not a morning person.

"Sam." she rolled her eyes as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

"Sam." he repeated more awake now. "What's wrong? Did something happen?" he started throwing questions at her a mile a minute. He sounded almost concerned for her well-being as his assumptions grew.

"No, I called to tell you that I have to take Sarah's ashes to the ocean at Port Williams and she wrote in her will that you need to be present." That sounded diplomatic to her. At least she wasn't shouting at him. That was a new one for her. "Look just be down at the lobby by 11 and we'll go. My friend is driving."

"I'll be there."

"Okay, bye." she said quickly and hung up. Her head hurt and her chest felt like it was being pressed on. She wasn't usually afraid of anything or anyone but seeing he again was going to be hard. What would she even say to him? It was a good thing that Freddie was going, even though she wanted nothing more then to put distance between them. It was the best way not to either kill Roger or get too emotional around him.

"He's coming?" Freddie asked. She hadn't realized how close they were to each other and she jumped slightly. She had to get a hold on herself. Walking into the kitchen she began to straighten up.

"Yeah he's going to be here at 11 so I need to go get a shower and get ready. We'll have to stop at the mortuary to get her ashes." she spoke over her shoulder.

Freddie had taken notice to her sudden distance and knew that it might be this way for a while. They both seemed to be having some problems keeping their hands off of each other. This was how it had to be for a while. Speaking for his own hormones, he knew that he wouldn't be able to stop himself from grabbing her and kissing her until she couldn't stand on her own. What sort of thoughts are those to have for your best friend? He couldn't even recall having such thoughts when it came to Carly. In his defense he was a lot younger then. Even if he sat and tried to imagine something like that happening, nothing came. His mind was blank with only a smiling Carly in it. Kissing her would just be uncomfortable now.

He sat there for the five minutes while Sam cleaned the dishes and counter that Spencer had made a mess of. His eyes were locked onto her small form. He'd never seen her wear such a small amount of clothing before. It made him feel uncomfortable.

She always went around with three or more layers of shirts and had jeans or those tight plaid shorts she loved so much. Seeing her like this was a little weird to him. He noticed that she looked amazing for someone who had rolled out of bed and came downstairs. It made he notice that Sam didn't wear make-up. He thought she did, but she didn't really need it. He never knew there were girls who didn't need to wear make-up to look as good as they usually did.

"Freddork, I'm going to shower." she told him and then started up the stairs.

He sat there for about fifteen minutes before he heard the water upstairs shut off. About five minutes after that Sam came back down stairs, fully clothed and her hair mildly wet. She had on a faded pair of jeans with about three different layers of shirts. Each one had a different pattern and color, yet it worked.

"Do you know how to get to Port Williams from here?" he asked her while she laced up her shoes.

"You jump on the 104 going west I believe. We take it through Kingston. I'll make sure to bring a map." Once she was done lacing up her converse she grabbed her bag and headed for Spencer's door. "Hey Spencer, we're leaving!" she yelled through the door.

"Okay, have a safe drive! I won't be home until after nine tonight. Call me when you get there!" He called back.

"Okay! Good luck!"

She grinned and headed for the front door. Freddie followed behind her and she briefly wondered if she should tell Mrs. Benson about what they were going to do.

"Does your mom-"

"She knew you were cremating her and didn't want to be there when…you know." he answered.

"Oh, okay." she dropped it. She didn't feel like talking much about the subject for which the trip involved.

"I'll go get my backpack and keys and I'll meet you at the elevator." he vanished into his apartment for a moment while she wandered over to the elevator to wait. She mentally prepared herself for this hour long drive to Port Williams. After what happened a few days ago she wasn't sure how this was going to go. What would happen once the trip was over? Would she just go back to pretending he didn't exist? He would take this little trip as a sign that she was ready to talk to him. Was she?

Freddie soon joined her at the elevator and they got inside. Somewhere in her mind this seemed like a bad idea to stand in an elevator with him. So she took one corner while he took the other. They glanced over at one another and then looked straight ahead.

Roger stood off by the front door of the lobby when then walked out. Lewbert was screeching about hanging around the lobby but the just ignored him. Sam cleared her throat and Roger looked behind him. He looked uncomfortable just looking at her. She folded her arms and Freddie stood to her left just in case he was needed.

"Sam." he looked at her and his eyes grew sad for a moment. Sam felt completely uncomfortable by this and shuffled her feet a little.

"Let's go." she said and started for the parking lot. Freddie followed her and soon Roger did as well. She went to her truck and grabbed the map in the glove compartment. She joined the two other males and climbed into the front seat while Roger got in back and Freddie got into the driver's seat. Roger must have already decided that he'd be sitting in the back. Besides the front seat was Sam's.

After they went to get Sarah's ashes they headed for the freeway, 104 and got on it heading for Kingston. Sam rested her head against the side of the car door and watched the signs they passed. The radio was playing at a medium volume but she wasn't sure what the music was. Getting bored of it she reached over to Freddie's side of the car and started pulling out random CDs from the case on the visor.

"Sam!" he snapped at her for obstructing his vision.

"What? I'm tired of this music." she smacked the side of his head.

"Warn me next time!" he glared over at her before returning his eyes to the road.

She just rolled her eyes and put in one of the CDs that she saw that was random. It was mostly white, with unreadable writing on it; but decided to check to see what it was.

The car filled with a slow piano playing and a guy singing, asking 'Did you know what you were doing, did you know'. She raised an eyebrow and pushed the next button. They sounded alright so she left them playing.

"Who's this band Dweeb?" she asked.

"Mae." he answered, annoyed by the nickname.

Roger hadn't uttered a word at all since they left. Freddie noticed that he was watching them and listening to their conversation. It was weird having her father in the car with them. But it was safer then the two of them being alone in a car far from home. Roger looked thoughtful and deep in thought yet still fully aware of the two teens in the front seat.

They got off the ferry and continued on their way through Kingston, it had been packed so they had to remain in the car the whole way.

After about an hour driving they had passed Kingston, Port Gamble, Port Ludlow and were nearing the 101 which they had to jump on to continue to Port Williams. Freddie made the appropriate turn and they continued on toward Sequim Bay and she checked the map to find that Port Williams was getting closer by the second. Once they reached Sequim they took Sequim Ave and made a right on Port Williams Road all the way to the outskirts of the beach. The entire way they passed by tall trees and grassy plains. It was cloudy out that day and a bit cold but the three silently made their way to a secluded area where there were no people at all. Sam held the container in her arms and couldn't believe what she had to do now. The black container had a white label on top that had her mother's name and information on it.

Would letting these go be like erasing her from existence? She wondered to herself. Her eyes fell on Roger for a moment and he looked just as lost as she felt at that moment. Sam knew somewhere inside her that he had loved Sarah very much. That he might still love her after all the time that passed. She understood the situation a little better but her feelings toward him were more selfish. He left her too and she wasn't sure if she could believe what her mother said about him loving her. How does someone just up and leave and not bother to check in and see how their child was?

She looked to the waters and took a brave step forward. She felt the other two move along with her until they reached the rim where water met land.

"Sam." Roger started and she looked over at him. "If you're not sure about this I could do it for you." Her eyes narrowed a bit and she shook her head.

"I don't need your help. I can do this." She slipped out of her shoes and headed into the waters. Freddie stood on the shore and waited. He didn't think he had to be there when she did it. It was personal to some degree. If she really needed him she knew he was right there, just a glance away.

He watched as the let her mother go off into the waters. She stood there for a while and watched the wave move back and forth. She gave a small smile up to the sky, even though she wasn't really looking toward the heavens. Rather she hoped that the winds would carry her wherever she wanted to go. Somewhere she could finally find love and feel joy. It was weird for her to think such things but that's just how she felt.

"Let's get going, Sam." Roger stated; he had been standing next to her the whole time watching his love vanish into the dark waters.

"Fine." was all she said and headed back to Freddie who had her shoes in his hand.

The drive home was silent once again. This time Sam didn't look are speak to anyone and she avoided eye contact. Roger was also looking out the window in deep thought. Freddie wasn't sure what he should say or do about this.

The meeting with her father had been anticlimactic. It seemed that they were both more a like then they realized. They both were too stubborn to discuss anything and he was pretty sure that Sam was having her own thoughts about what would happen next.

Sam on the other hand couldn't figure out anything good that would come of having Roger around. What would they do? He must have some sort of life outside of Washington or around Washington that didn't involve her. Wouldn't that be like her invading his life? Not that she really cared either way. But it seemed like another stepping stone to overcome.

As for her mother, she felt relieved that she finally could let her go free. She wasn't very spiritual or anything but she liked to think that a soul never dies and her mother's had another chance to live out there somewhere again. Maybe she would finally be able to be happy. She kept continuing this train of thought, because it somehow gave her peace.

That made her smile a little to herself. Maybe this was why her family cremated. Her mother had once talked to her about spirits and souls and how souls get more then one chance to live.

It stuck with her and she even believed it to an extent. She glanced over at Freddie and he was focusing on the road, yet he was aware of her. She knew it. He was waiting for something to happen, anything.

The rest of the drive fell into a comfortable silence. Roger seemed to be wondering the same thing as her. Nothing was going to happen right away and they both knew it would take time before they could ever be close. Sam wasn't even sure how to act with having an 'involved' parent after all those years of doing things for herself. If she were to have him in her life he'd be an added thing, not an asset. She really didn't need anything from him. But she suddenly felt like she should at least have a chance to know him, again. With her mind made up she turned to Freddie and pinched his forearm.

**

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**Panda Note**: Hola! Sorry it took so long to update. Well I mean it's been like two days I think. But anyways I spent a lot of time working on this one and it took me forever so I really am hoping to get some good reviews from everyone. Reviews make me happy and make me want to write more for you. So let me hear from you! Oh and go to my profile if you wish to know when I'll update and if there's problems going on that will prevent that. You can also send messages and such if you have any questions. I'll try to update tomorrow night but if I don't I hope to before Monday. I'll have to see what happens this weekend. My dad and I are doing some more tiling and such to our living room.

**REVIEW!!!!** Yes you! Right there with the shocked, yet amazed expression on your face.

**Karlarockangel** - Thank you for the awesome review! I shall try to keep the Seddie coming. Hopefully people get their fill from the bits I have added. I hope you'll be back for this one.


	8. Sarahs Remains Part 2

**Disclaimer**: Guess what? I still don't own iCarly or the characters. So I'll just get back to my story that doesn't earn me any money.

**Chapter Seven**

Freddie decided to pull into a diner in Port Gamble to grab something to eat. Sam didn't function well without something in her stomach, he knew this. The moment the thought crossed his mind he could hear two stomachs grumble loudly. Sam's father was also hungry, something else the two had in common.

Sam had started talking after twenty minutes of silence. Her first act was to pinch him hard and the followed it up by commenting about what a horrible driver he was. It wasn't the worst thing she'd ever done, but darn it he was a great driver!

So after passing by Discovery Bay, he jumped onto the 20 and took it until he reached Anderson Lake Road. He followed it for a while, remembering a nice little restaurant/diner type establishment near there. Once he reached Rhody Drive and made a right until he came upon 'Chimacum Café'. The sign outside was lit up; it had become quite dark out; due to the storm rolling in. It had a neon flower in the left corner while half the sign was dark blue and the top half, white. The building itself wasn't much to look at but he'd heard that it was a great place for pie.

Sam raised an eyebrow as he parked and got out. She also got out and went over to him.

"What are we doing here?" she asked him, pulling her coat around herself.

"Food." He grinned down at her. "You must be starving after that drive." He smirked and started for the door. She followed and Roger joined them after realizing that they were staying at this spot. Freddie held the door open for the both of them and then stepped in. An older woman with a messy bun came over and asked how many there would be in their party. Freddie seemed to be the only one out of the three who was able to speak. The two Puckett's stood by one another, glancing at each other cautiously.

"It'll be three." He informed the woman and she grabbed three menus, the proceeded to lead them to a booth to the left. Sam made sure to sit next to Freddie, which might not have been a good idea, but it was better then the other option. The booths weren't that big which caused the two to be squished together. Roger took the booth across from them and wasn't sure what to do. He'd been silent for a while and was trying to figure how what he should say.

"Look Roger," Sam started with a sigh. Freddie wondered when she'd start to talk to the guy. He had his opinions of the guy, since the talk with his mother and still felt he should protect Sam, even if she didn't need it. "I don't know what you want from me and I don't know what I want from you." She was about to continue when the waitress came back to their table to get their drink order. They all ordered tea and then Sam turned her attention back to Roger, to avoid the closeness of Freddie. "It's supposedly my choice, but I realized during the drive that it's only half mine."

Roger looked puzzled by this and raised an eyebrow.

"What do you mean it's only half yours?"

"For all I know you don't really want anything to do with me." She said as if it were a fact. Though it bothered her to have to say it like that she pressed on. "Even if I wanted to forego a 'relationship' with you it still doesn't change how I feel about you." Her eyes narrowed a bit.

"I understand what you mean." He nodded and just looked at her as if she were the most interesting thing in the world. Freddie could tell from that look that he still loved his daughter. That didn't change anything though, he still left her. He wondered what his blond friend would have been like if her father had stuck around. No good could come from playing the 'what if' game.

"So what are we going to do?"

"I honestly don't know. I know that there's no excuse for leaving, at least not for you. I should have stayed for you. Leaving you was the biggest mistake of my life. You have to know that." His eyes were pleading with hers to understand and for a second Freddie felt sort of bad for the guy.

"That doesn't change the fact that you did leave and didn't come visit, call or anything." She snapped. "I would have even been fine with a good-bye from you but all I got was you walking away without a word." Her voice was filled with rage as she said this. She didn't want to freak out right there at the diner because she was having trouble controlling her emotions.

"I can't fix what happened but I want a chance to be here for you now. I'm not going anywhere." He had a determined look in his eyes as he said this. It reminded Freddie of many times when Sam would make bets with him.

"That's what we'll have to figure out. I don't want anything from you and I can take care of myself. But what could come from us being on good terms? Do we even want a relationship?"

"I do, Sam. I don't deserve to be in your life but I'll wait for as long as it takes until you decide."

She went silent and Freddie couldn't see her face behind her mass of hair, but it seemed like she was thinking.

"Look here Roger, I'm not a little girl anymore and I won't be. You'll have to deal with me as I am 'cause that ain't changin'." She pointed a finger at him and gave him her classic Sam face. The one that said 'I mean business so don't mess with me'.

"I can live with that." He agreed.

"Good." She said and then picked up her menu. "Mama needs some meat." She grinned over at Freddie and he rolled his eyes.

"Where do you put it all Puckett?" he asked do the same.

"A lady doesn't give away her secrets, Fredwardson." That was new.

"I see no lady here." He smirked as she glared over at him.

"I do!" she countered eyeing him.

"I'm probably more of a lady then you are."

"Probably." She laughed.

"Darn, I fell into that one." He sighed. It was good to have her back.

"They have meatloaf sandwiches!" she grinned at him and their eyes locked for a moment.

"They also have the best pies around." He commented.

Roger watched on in silence as the two bickered then got over it quickly, it was surreal to him how like Sarah and Nathan they were. Yet something was definitely different about these two. He still felt a pang in his heart whenever he thought of the events that had taken place all those years ago. But he wasn't about to ruin his new chance with Sam.

"I'm getting this and this and some pie with vanilla ice cream!"

"Seriously Sam I have to know where it all goes."

"Give it up Benson." She rolled her eyes.

"It's just amazing how much you can eat in one sitting."

"When you go without food for long periods of time you tend to scarf up food when you are near it."

"Your mother never fed you?" Roger found himself asking.

"Eh, she had her moments but otherwise I'd bum it at Carly's." she shrugged.

Soon their waitress was back to give them their drinks and get their orders.

"I'm having the meatloaf sandwich with an extra helping of mashed potatoes. For dessert I'd love a nice size of your apple pie with a chunk of vanilla ice cream on top." Sam stated happily to the woman before her. Food always put her in a good mood.

"Goodness young lady, you've got a healthy appetite." The woman, whose name tag said Betsy on it stated, chuckling.

"Mama loves her some food!"

The woman wrote it down and then came to Roger who ordered pretty much the same thing as Sam. Freddie got a huge burger and fries.

They stayed at the diner for an hour and enjoyed 'dinner' since it was about two almost three. Sam had devoured her meal while the other two ate at an appropriate pace.

Freddie found it almost cute how she ate her pie and ice cream. She looked like a little kid as she scooped happily at her ice cream. He had to continually remind himself that it wouldn't last, she'd turn back into Sam anytime soon and he'd want to take that thought back.

Roger paid for his mean and offered to pay theirs too but Freddie had it covered, he knew Sam didn't carry cash with her. He'd grown used to paying for her meals and snacks over the year. He would usually do it without even thinking about it.

Once they got back to the car and on the road again Sam was much better. She fiddled with his CDs again and pulled out the other Mae album 'Destination Beautiful'. She flipped through a few tracks until she landed on one that caught her attention. Track number eight 'Soundtrack for our Movie' filled the car. He remembered this one well. It caused him to clam up again as he listened to it. Sam on the other hand enjoyed it by dancing randomly in her seat. At least she hadn't been affected by the worlds. Maybe he was the only one who 'ached' when he thought of her? Which happened to be the first line of the song.

"_Well I'm a wreck. I really can't explain it but I, I hear the music when I look at you. Orchestrating the song to accommodate the moment. Well, I'm so in love with you. Are you looking for an answer? Because I could really use a friend tonight. We can make this last forever. We don't have to fear the sunlight._"

She continued to dance along and he felt himself relax a bit. At least she was distracted by it enough not to notice how uncomfortable he felt.

"_I'll take a chance and steal away this movie moment. Well, I'm in deep whenever I'm with you. I'm directing the scene that has you and me forever. Well, I'm so in love with..."_ it finished and he felt himself calm down a bit. No other song caught her ears so she switched it out for another Mae CD, which seemed to please her.

He thought he'd be fine with this CD, but then he remembered that one of the tracks was another one of 'those' songs and gulped. Sam was happy with it though and even tried to follow with the words a bit while dancing in her seat.

He focused on the road and got on the 104 again and took it through Port Gamble. The sky was still dark and little droplets of rain it the windshield.

The track 'On Top' started to play and he sucked in a breath. He didn't know why he kept associating Sam and himself with songs. It was getting on his nerves though and he wished for it to stop.

After forty minutes they reached Kingston and pulled the car into the ferry. They all got out and leaned against the railing to enjoy the wind and rain. Freddie stood close to Sam, despite the little voice in his mind telling him not to. Sam didn't seem as bothered anymore and just closed her eyes and enjoyed the weather.

Sam on the other hand was aware of Freddie, which she had been a lot more lately. But there was nothing she could do about it other then beat the crap out of him. It was the only way to chase him away far enough. She didn't want to lose him though so maybe beating him up to the point where he'd leave would be bad. She could settle for mild beatings every now and then.

She felt his eyes on her and looked up, he was looking at her right in the eye. He was a brave young lad, she'd give him that.

His eyes drank in every detail of her face. How had he never noticed how attractive she was? Not that it really mattered if she was or not, she was still Sam after all. But her eyes were amazing, the different shades of blue blending together, like a perfect cloudy sky. He loved how wild her hair was too, it reminded him of wheat fields when it got caught in the wind. Maybe he was just being sappy for thinking these things but he couldn't stop himself.

She grinned at him and bumped him with her shoulder.

"This rocks my socks Freddington!" she laughed and held onto the railing, the wind was blowing a little bit harder but she welcomed it. Roger was off talking to someone; he wasn't sure who though and didn't really care at the moment.

Could he really be interesting in the girl before him? Sure she was being less abrasive right now but what would happen when things got back to normal? Would those same feelings be there? Would those swirls of good feelings still be there?

He tried to think of Sam when she was yelling at him and found that he liked her that way. Just like he had the night he kissed her. It's the only time that he can see her raw passion. Maybe he was a masochist? Did he really enjoy pain?

It started to rain and she looked up at it with a grin.

She was amazing.

He found himself in a daze as she allowed the rain to fall onto her face.

"Fredweird stop it!" she turned her head toward him and gave him a glare. "You're creepin' me out with that look on your face."

He blushed and looked back into the water. From his left he heard her sigh and lean toward him. He held back a smile and enjoyed the moment, it wouldn't last.

They didn't speak again as they reached the shore and got back into his car.

**

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**

The Bushwell Plaza came into view when he turned the corner. This trip had been interesting to say the least. Sam jumped out of the car once he parked and she and Roger stood off to the side awkwardly. They weren't sure what they should say or do as they looked at each other.

"So…" she started looking up at him.

"Yeah…"

This conversation wasn't going anywhere.

"How about we just go out to eat or something next weekend?" she finally said, throwing it out there to the universe. Freddie was sort of surprised by her bold question. She was at least trying to make it work.

"That would be great." Roger grinned and the whole situation in the parking relaxed by many degrees.

Once their good-byes were said Roger got into his car and left. Freddie and Sam headed up to the Shay's apartment, no words spoken.

Sam was smiling to herself though, which Freddie had noticed the whole way up.

"Don't ask me." She told him before exiting the elevator. He just rolled his eyes at this and followed.

Carly still wasn't home and Spencer had said he wouldn't be back until after nine. She unlocked the door [Spencer had made her a key] and stepped in. Freddie followed and flopped onto the couch.

"So what should we do? Everyone's off somewhere. Even my mom's out, she called me like twenty times today!" Freddie prattled on. "She was at some market outside Seattle."

"You know…" Sam started glancing over at the box on the floor that she'd brought a while back. "I have more videos you could convert." She was looking over at him expectantly.

"Let me guess, you want me to use my super nerd skills to take down old video tape formats?" he asked slightly annoyed.

"You would be right, sir!" She looked like she was ready to burst, from the excitement. When had she ever become excited by tech things? "I want to watch those tapes I gave you now too." She added and started up the stairs. "The box is right there." She pointed and then disappeared behind the corner of the stairs.

He sighed and got up to grab the box on the floor. It wasn't too heavy but he still wasn't going to take the stairs.

In the iCarly studio he found her in one of the beanbag chairs ready to watch the videos. He placed the box next to his cart and pushed a few buttons on his laptop. The TV came out and after a few more buttons the videos started to play. As much as he didn't want to watch he found himself glancing up more times then he could count. While she watched though he plugged in the camcorder to the laptop and uploaded each video to it. When the one she was watching finished he turned it off and looked over at her. She was sitting still and hadn't moved an inch since he started it.

"Sam?" he called. "You okay?"

She looked over her shoulder and nodded.

"Are the others ready?" she asked getting up and coming over to his cart. He took a slight step to the right so that she wasn't too close. It was so ridiculous how he was acting towards her. She hadn't changed all that much over the past year and a half. Maybe he was the one to change?

"Almost, one more to go and then we can watch them." He answered watching the little bar on the upload screen move along. It was easier then allowing his teenage boy brain to take over.

"Come on already." Groaned Sam who was doing what looked like an impatient dance or the 'I have to go to the bathroom' dance, he wasn't sure.

"It's going as fast as it can, Sam." Grumbled to her, sounding like his annoyed self, which was just fine with him.

"Don't you have super techy nerd powers to hurry this up?"

"It doesn't work that way, I can't make the upload go any faster then it-" He was cut off by a beep from the laptop signaling that it was finished.

"Yes! It's done!"

He laughed and pushed play on the first, making sure to play a whole loop of them. He then walked over to the beanbag chairs and sat down. Sam joined him as the screen displayed an unfamiliar living room.

Sam looked over at Freddie confused. He looked at it for a bit as if trying to figure out where it was that he'd seen it before.

"As you can see this is our humble abode." started a man's voice.

"Yeah it's humble alright." interjected a woman's bubbly voice, filled with laughter.

"Aw shut it Sarah, it's going to be a great house, once it's fixed up."

"Please tell me you're going to hire someone, because if you're going to do anything that requires repairs this place is doomed." She laughed some more.

"That's so my mom." laughed Sam.

"I couldn't tell." retorted Freddie.

"I know how to repair things, must you always insult me!" he snapped as the light hairs girl came into view. She looked about nineteen there and she was grinning at the man behind the camera.

"Of course, how else would I have fun?" she then proceeded to take the camera from him and turn it on his face. "So Mister 'I hide behind the camera' what do you have to say to your fans, well the imaginary ones."

He glared at her and folded his arms.

"You're a jerk, Sarah."

"I thought guys were called jerks?" she asked.

"Exactly." He smirked. He stopped though when a hand flew from behind the camera and punched him. "Kidding! Gosh you're worse when you're pregnant!" Another punch flew out and got his arm. "I mean you're glowing." he laughed nervously.

"Say, where's your pregnant woman?" she asked looking around the house.

"She's at our apartment relaxing."

"Oh so you drag me all the way out here, in my condition. Jerk."

"I didn't drag you! You tagged along"

"You promised me cheese, how could I refuse!"

He walked into the living room and inspected the fireplace.

"Well I suppose so." He turned back and looked at her. Sam noticed something in his eyes when he looked at Sarah but chose not to mention this to Freddie. She'd seen it in Freddie's eyes a few times in the past week. "Maybe you should sit down and rest." He told her shifting his eyes.

"Fine." She grumbled taking a seat on the couch that had been brought to the house. "So why are we video taping this anyways?"

"Does it really matter why? You like filming." He rolled his eyes at her.

"I suppose." She sighed. "So have you two crazy kids decided what you'll name your offspring? Poor kid, has no idea what gene pool he's come into."

"Don't talk about my family like that, Sarah. I thought you loved Granny Ella?"

"Oh I do, but that father of yours is a piece of work." He looked like he was about to argue with her but changed his mind.

"I know. He means well though."

"I doubt it dweeb." He glared at the camera again. "Oh stop glaring!"

"Stop calling me names then." He countered.

"These two are as bad as we are." Freddie stated folding his arms. Sam looked over at him and found that he looked a lot like his father.

"Where's Roger?" Nathan asked with a weird look on his face. The way that he said the name reminded Sam of how Freddie used to say the names of boys he didn't care for. Freddie didn't seem to noticed it though and just figured it was a normal tone for his father.

"Workin' like always." She sighed.

"So he just leaves you at home alone all the time? Is that really safe in your condition?" he began fiddling with random things in the background.

"I wouldn't get my panties in a bunch if I were you. Things will be fine. If something goes down I can just call you. Like tech service twenty-four seven!" she laughed.

"That's not funny Sarah." He gave her a stern look.

"You never answered my question about what you're going to name your son."

"How do you know we're having a son? We didn't find out the sex."

"I just know."

"Well I like Nathan Jr. for a boy and if it's a girl then Samantha." He stated which caused the two teens watching to look at each other.

"You're not having a girl buddy. It's going to be a boy. Hopefully he doesn't look like you. Hopefully he get's Marissa's good looks." She giggled.

"Well Marissa wants a girl and that's what she has her heart set on."

"What about you Nathan? What do you really want?" there was seriousness to her tone. He looked up for a moment and it seemed like their eyes had connected. Sam was seeing something completely different then Freddie.

"I…" he started.

"It's not a hard question, especially for the king of nerds to answer."

"A boy." He grinned.

"Then you'll be getting exactly what you want. You shouldn't name him Nathan though. I like Freddie."

"But Fred sounds weird."

"What about Fredward?"

"Isn't that a little old fashioned?"

"Well Freddie sounds just right, so say go with it."

"Maybe." he sighed.

"It's a cute name though. Freddie! It's like that song from Grease The Musical." She must have been moving around or dancing because the camera was jiggling around.

"What are you doing?" Nathan asked trying not to laugh.

"Dancing!" she yelled.

"There isn't any music."

"I can hear the song in my head." She laughed.

"Freddy my love, I miss you more than words can say. Freddy my love, please keep in touch while you're away. Hearing From you can make the day so much better, getting a souvenir or maybe a letter. I really flipped over the grey cashmere sweater, Freddy my love, Freddy my love, Freddy my love, Freddy my love." She sang rather well. Nathan grinned at her silliness and took the camera away from her.

"You're ridiculous." He laughed.

"So is your face."

"So is yours." They both began to laugh like idiots.

"Ah!" Sarah shrieked.

"What?" Nathan came over to her and put the camera down, it was still pointed towards the two. He looked at her with worry on his face.

"She kicked." Sarah said in awe holding her stomach.

"Really? Can I…"

"Of course."

He bent down and pressed his ear to her belly. The baby inside kicked again and he pulled back with a grin.

"I bet she knows you're a dork and she already wants to kick your sorry butt." She stated laughing.

"Or she's trying to escape your womb, what with all the disgusting things you eat."

"She wants those things!"

"Your eating habits having changed since your got pregnant."

"Lies!"

The film cut off there and started up a new one. In the next one it was Nathan and Sarah with two little babies. One was a little bigger than the other.

"Told ya!" Sarah cheered as Nathan cradled Freddie in his arms.

"Yeah, yeah, but now there's a Samantha too." He grinned.

"We did bet on it."

"Sammy is going to be a knock-out, I can tell." He commented looking at the little girl.

"Freddie just fight have a chance, if he doesn't end up looking like you."

"Do you always have to be so mean? Moment ruiner!"

"Will you two stop that fighting?" Marissa stated coming into the frame. Roger chuckled from behind the camera. "Do you want the kids to pick up your bad habits?"

Sam and Freddie looked at one another and laughed. It was too late for that.

"They'll be the best of friends Mars, you'll see!" Sarah grinned, hugging her baby close to her.

"You look…right as a mom Sarah." cooed Marissa coming over to her best friend.

"Thanks?" the woman wasn't sure if she should take that as a compliment.

"It's a good thing." laughed Marissa.

"Samantha and Fredward." sighed Nathan.

"I can't believe you actually named him Fredward." giggled Sarah.

"You said I should." Nathan snapped.

"Do you always listen to me? I told you Freddie was a nice name." she corrected him.

"Freddie is a nice sounding name." he agreed.

"Let's introduce them to each other."

Sarah lifted Sam up toward Nathan who lifted Freddie as well.

"Sammy, this is Freddie." baby Freddie giggled at this and baby Sam tried to kick him.

"Freddie this is Sammy," Freddie pouted at her and then tried to kick her back with his little feet.

"Aw isn't that cute!" stated Sarah looking at the two.

"Oh geez, do we really need another Sarah in this world?" Nathan asked out loud with exasperation.

Everyone laughed at this and then the film cut to yet another clip.

"Wow, I'm still weirded out by this." Sam found herself saying laying back into her beanbag chair.

"You were a bully even in baby form." he received a fist to the gut.

The scene before them was of a park, which looked really old. Even the film looked odd in color. A girl about thirteen popped up into the camera and grinned into it.

"How's this? I'm ready for my close-up Mr. Deville." she said cheekily. The girl had light brown hair and dark raven eyes. She sparkled in the sunlight and did a twirl. "I'm so excited about today, aren't you?" she asked the camera person.

"I am! We're going to have such a great time."

"Just as long as you can keep your cool today. We can't have you nerding up the whole thing."

"I can be cool!"

"Could've fooled me." she laughed and went over to him to take the camera. She then squished herself up against him and pointed the camera toward them both. "These are the faces of happy teenagers." they both grinned.

"Until the man takes away our right to feel joy." added Nathan frowning, Sarah did the same and nodded.

"Wait!" she looked as though she had a brilliant idea. "If we continue to be happy then wouldn't that be like going against 'the man'?" she looked up at her taller friend who nodded in agreement.

"I like the way you think, sometimes." he smirked.

"Bah!" she smacked him upside the head. "I'm brilliant and you know it."

"If only you'd apply yourself more. I mean I personally know that you could have the highest GPA in school but you choose to act like a hooligan."

"How do you know what my GPA is?"

"I don't, but I'm just assuming so."

"You know what happens when you assume don't you?"

"Uh, no what?"

"You make an 'ass' out of 'u' and 'me', get it." she laughed at her own joke while he tried to control his own laughter at her randomness.

"That was the stupidest thing I'd ever heard."

"You know what's stupider?" he raised an eyebrow. "You being madly in love with poor Marissa Benson; I mean seriously, the day she falls for you is the day that your tattoo is awesome."

"My tattoo is awesome and it could happen!" he glared at her.

"Sure it could, in another universe. She's never going to love you Lewis, get over it." she rolled her eyes.

"You're just jealous because she's classier than you and prettier." he countered getting angry.

"I'm classy!" she yelled balling a fist.

"Classy people don't bite their toenails."

A fist few out and hit his face, he then proceeded to fall to the floor. The camera swirled to his body on the ground, hand holding his cheek. He still managed to glare up at her.

"You can forget about us going together now you…you….ugh! Nerd!" she then placed the camera down at his feet and walked away. He picked it up and pointed it at her retreating form.

"I'm a jerk." he stated sadly.

The clip cut and Freddie decided then to pause it.

"Well that was interesting." he stated looking over at Sam.

"You have no idea." She stretched and then curled back up into her beanbag. Her eyes scanned his face, trying to find any clue if he connected the things that happened in the clips. She found that he hadn't, he looked totally relaxed.

"What do you mean?"

"Nothing." she brushed it off and got up. Looking at the clock she found that it was only seven at night. "Are you hungry?" she asked heading toward the door.

"Sure." he shrugged and followed her out.

They gathered in the kitchen and went through the cabinets, fridge and freezer. She started grabbing things from different places and sitting them on the counter. There was some chicken that she must have taken out the night before, because it was thawed out. There was a thing of broccoli, alfrado cream sauce and fettuccine.

"What should I do?" he asked her rolling up his sleeves.

"First go turn on some music, Mama loves her some cookin' music!"

He plugged in his PearPod into the speaker dock. Mae started to fill the loft with their awesome tunes. Freddie then went back to join Sam at the counter.

"Now what do I do?"

"Go find a nice sized pot and fill it with water, place it on the stove on medium." she instructed as she cut up the chicken into strips.

"Okay, done."

"Okay take this broccoli and chop off the parts that are stemming off the large piece, so that we'll have little bits of it." he nodded and grabbed a knife and started to cut off little mini trees.

Once all the chopping was complete and everything was cooking up on the stove Sam took a break and enjoyed the music. The fettuccine had just been placed in and needed time to get soft. Freddie washed and dried his hands and joined her, leaning against the counter.

"Let's dance!" she said suddenly grabbing his hand and moving him to the center of the kitchen.

"What? Dance? Together?" his face was starting to get red again and he had to remind himself where he was, this was not the time to have a wandering brain.

"Oh come on this is a great song and my feet want to dance, so dance with me!" she snapped at him and held onto both of his hands and moved to the beat. He seemed to get into rhythm with her random dancing soon enough and was actually smiling. "I love this one! What's it called?" she asked as he spun her around.

"On Top." he replied pulling her back into him.

"It's a great song." she laughed allowing him to put his hand on her waist as they moved around the kitchen faster than in a normal 'slow' dance. As he turned them she continued to move her shoulders and bob her head around happily.

Soon the song changed to another track but it was a little slower. He was about to let go of her but she stopped him by moving in a slower motion, yet still putting energy into her moves.

"You dance like a dork." she jabbed as he spun her. Hearing this from her, he spun her back into his chest and then back out and let go of her hand. "Touchy!" she punched his arm with a little less force then she usually did.

"Are the noodles done yet?"

"Let's see." she grabbed a fork and pulled a strip of fettuccine out of the pot. Once the water had stopped dripping she flung it at the fridge. He looked down at her strangely, wondering why she did this. "That's how you tell if they're done, or you can eat one and be grossed out. It stuck though so they're read. Get the strainer and put it in the sink." he grabbed it and did as she asked, standing out of her way when she brought over the fettuccine and started to pour it all into the strainer.

The alfrado sauce had the broccoli as well as the chicken added to it previously and was simmering on a lower heat. With the fettuccine in a bowl she added a bit of butter to the fettuccine and set it aside.

Freddie watched on in amazement at her skills in the kitchen.

She grabbed two plates and distributed a bit of the fettuccine onto each, then ladled some of the sauce onto the top. With two plates complete she headed over to the table and set them down.

They enjoyed a quiet meal together, which can't be said a lot for the two.

It was amazing though.

"This is delicious, Sam."

"It's simple to make." she shrugged. "Motion City Soundtrack!" she blurted out upon hearing the song playing.

"Yeah, I have it on a playlist." he took another mouthful of the fettuccine.

She started to dance a little in her seat while eating.

"I can't believe that Spencer and Carly aren't back yet."

"I'm sure that Carly is on her way, it's getting late out and she doesn't like to drive at night."

Just as this was seat the front door opened and Carly stepped in. She stopped for a moment upon seeing the two at the table, not killing each other. Her thought process left that and went straight for the amazing smells coming from the kitchen.

"Sam, you cooked!" she cheered and went into the kitchen to make a plate. "It smells amazing!!" Carly gushed and headed over to them sitting across from Freddie.

"I thought you'd never get back!"

"Sorry but Granddad needed my help with moving and other random things I'd rather not even go into." she sighed and took a bite. "What did you guys do today?" she asked offhandedly scooping up a piece of chicken.

The two shared a look and wondered if they should even go into it.

"We ran a few errands." Freddie offered.

"I saw Roger today and we agreed to 'hang'."

"That's great Sam!" Carly smiled at her blond friend.

"Our 'errands' were a little more than errands." Sam confessed giving Freddie a shrug.

"Oh? What did you do?" Carly gave Sam her undivided attention.

"I had to take my mom to the ocean." she started and Carly understood what she meant right away. "Then we stopped for food. Then we came back here and watched the videos I found at home." she finished.

"Oh, you saw those?"

"Yeah, I figured it was time to." she said nonchalantly.

"Weren't they weird?"

"Meh, I learned a few things about my mom so it's cool."

Silence filled the room as the three ate their meal.

**

* * *

**

Sam didn't know why she decided to come here of all places. Carly had gone off to bed after eating and showering. Whatever her Granddad had her do must have tired her out. Looking up at the stars she kept questioning why she decided to venture here, on the fire escape.

After Carly said her good-nights and disappeared up the stairs Freddie helped her clean up the kitchen and then left for home. She sat on the couch for a while and just looked at the television, which wasn't on.

Growing restless of it she got up and fought a bit with the front door which didn't want to close. She then wandered down the halls until she came upon the fire escape. It was a little chilly out that night but luckily she brought a coat with her. Climbing up the fire escape she sat at the very top and looked out at the Seattle lights.

"Sam?" called a voice and she opened her eyes to find Freddie at the bottom of the steps.

"What are you doing out here?" she raised an eyebrow as he made his way up toward her.

"I heard you in the hallway and went to check."

"Won't your mommy notice you missing?"

"She got called into work, night shift." he shrugged and plopped down right next to her; arms and legs touching.

"So you decided to come out here to bother me?"

"Yes, that's exactly my plan. Is it working?" he wiggled his eyebrows at her. She just rolled her eyes and turned her head back to the lights of the city.

"Yes, it worked, you're bothering me." there was no bite behind that statement.

"You like it." he nudged her and she nudged back.

"Go home Benson."

"No." he smirked down at her.

"You annoy me." she glared up at him.

There it was again, the fire that set him aflame. Should it really be that simple? Her eyes were on him and he couldn't turn away. He refused to allow his hormones react to those blue gems again. Though he wanted nothing more than to kiss her once again; that's all he wanted to do for the rest of his days. He could live with everything else about her, he did now anyways. There was nothing about her he'd change; she was what he wanted, even though he could never say this out loud. With every fiber of his being, he just wanted to shout out to everyone that he had feelings for the blond. It took him so long to come to that conclusion. Even before her mother died he had an itch when it came to Sam. Now it just made more sense to him. He really liked the mischievous blond minx.

"Fredweird, wake up!" she snapped her finger in front of his face.

"Huh?"

"Where the chizz were you?"

"Nowhere." he laughed nervously.

"You excited about turning eighteen in a week?" she asked bringing up her knees to her chest.

"I suppose. I don't really like my birthday though. The only good thing about this one is that I'll finally be a legal 'adult'." She placed this little bit of information away for later. "So what are you doing out here anyways?" he asked her putting his hands into his coat pocket.

"I don't know, felt like being outside."

"How are you feeling about everything?" he found himself asking, even though he knew he shouldn't.

"Meh, fine."

"Even after what you had to do today?"

"Yeah, it's weird but after I did it I just felt better. It's hard to explain, especially to you because of your own religious beliefs but in my family that's how it is."

"I'm not that religious. My mother is but I don't really know what I believe."

"Well, I like to think that she's out there somewhere getting to live again." she shrugged; she'd been doing that a lot today. "Reincarnation." she stated nodding. "That's why we cremate I guess."

"I didn't really think of you as a churchgoer or someone who even believed in anything."

"I am human." she scowled at him, feeling insulted.

"I wasn't saying that, it's just that you don't seem to care about anything. Like with school, you don't study or do your homework and yet you still managed to pass your classes. You don't seem like you care enough to put effort into them."

"Thank you Dr. Phil. Is this going to be a changing day in my life?" she asked cheekily.

"See what I mean, you take everything as a joke." he sighed looking away from her.

"Oh come on Benson, why do you even care how I do in school or what I care about?"

"I don't." he shrugged. Why were they continuously shrugging?

"Whatever, I'm going back inside. Night." she stood up abruptly and headed down the stairs and vanished around the corner. He sighed and got up as well. Sam was just too much sometimes. What he was sure of was that there was something animalistic between them. If he were alone and too close to her his mind would switch over and want to do unspeakable things to her. Un-Freddie-like things that would be unexpected from the 'nerd' like him.

He smiled to himself and walked into his apartment.

* * *

**Panda Note**: Hola amigos and amigas! Sorry this took me three days to assemble and get to you but it's been crazy around this joint. I even got my precious Betsy back. Woo! She's better then ever, I switched back to XP because Vista is the DEVIL!!! Lol!

Anyways, I posted links so if you're interested in hearing some of the songs mentioned or the songs that I listen to while writing this you can find it on my profile. When I write the next chapter we'll be jumping to Freddie's birthday and then Sam's the chapter after that. Well at least that's the plan. We'll see how that plays out. I intended for this to be semi-long so hopefully I don't fall off the wagon. I'll try to update soon, depends on what happens tomorrow and such. I'm still not sure if I'm capturing Sam and Freddie right. Let me know what you think! Please **REVIEW**, it helps me right ten times faster ;)

Let's see....is there anything else I need to say? Uh....I'll be editing chapter six soon, I got tired after fixing the others. But that'll be done soon so yea..haha sorry I can't think of anything else I gotta say here. Again **REVIEW** and go look at my profile for updates and random stuff. Don't be scared, do it! haha

**Bella/Seddie101**: I was going to write you a message as a reply to your review but couldn't so I decided to do it here. Thanks for reviewing and being awesome! I'm glad you'll be coming back to this one. I love awesome reviewness!

**Beth**: Thank you for reviewing! I agree with that, Sexual Tension is awesome, especially when you're part of it haha. ;)


	9. Freddie's Birthday

**Disclaimer**: iCarly will never love you, errr I mean I don't own iCarly heh. Sorry!

**Chapter Eight**

**

* * *

  
**

February 3, 2012 a day before Fredward Benson would be turning eighteen, which was big! Yet the birthday boy didn't seem as jazzed about this as a normal person should be. He sat down at the Shay's couch and slumped into it as he scowled at the television. Carly raised an eyebrow at him and came to join him.

"What's up with that look on your face?" she asked sipping on her beverage.

He glanced over at her and sighed.

"I don't even know where to begin." he grumbled sticking out is bottom lip.

"Well, which subject does this fall under, almost birthday boy?" she grinned to herself as she said this.

"My mother for one, she doesn't want me to have a huge party with my friends. She even banned a cake, what kind of birthday is that without a cake? I mean every single one of my previous birthdays have been disasters. I just want one birthday that is special, you know?" she gave him a nod in understand. "Before I met you and became friends with you and Sam and Spencer all I had to look forward to was horrible food and a quiet night with my mother."

"Freddie, we're going to make sure this one is special, don't worry."

He managed a small smile but couldn't help feeling worried over what his mother might do if she knew.

"She'll find some way to ruin that too."

"No, she won't." Carly smiled but there was a mischievous glint in her eyes.

"Why?" he gave her his usual suspicious look.

"Trust me; we've been planning this all week. You'll just have to wait and see."

"Speaking of 'we' where is Sam and Spencer?" he hadn't seen them a lot over the past few days.

The only times he'd get a glimpse of Sam was when they were in school, but she always seemed preoccupied by something. Then when he'd show up at the Shay's loft she'd change and leave again, Spencer would already be gone before then. He gave up on asking her where she went to after the third attempt.

"I honestly don't know. I know that Sam's got a lot to take care of before she the end of March."

"What do you mean?"

"She's going to have to sell that house she and her mother lived in. She can't afford to pay the mortgage on it and her mom only managed to get a few months paid off." she gave him a sad look and he patted her shoulder.

"I haven't seen Spencer in days, it just feels unnatural."

"Same here, but I do catch him at night when he comes home. He's always covered in weird bright colored stuff. He'd rush off to his room soon after and get rid of the evidence. Sam would show up an hour later looking tired and she'd go off to bed right away. It went on for five days and both Freddie and Carly had given up on asking either of them what was up. "We'll just have to wait and see but Sam is most likely doing what I told you she was."

"I hope she's back in time for iCarly." at least he could see her then, he actually missed her.

* * *

"Wait!" cried Sam.

"What?" Spencer asked stopping midair with what he was doing.

"We can't put that there Spence! This isn't going to work out right." she sighed and took the sculpting knife from his hands. "We've been working on this thing for a few days now and we can't afford to mess it up."

Spencer stood there and looked down at the seventeen year old girl before him. She had chunks of different colored frosting and random bits. But that wasn't what got him; it was what happened a few days ago. It was on the Saturday that she'd left to take her mother's ashes to the beach. When he got home she was just walking into the apartment from the balcony, from what he could tell. She was surprised to see him and followed him inside.

Once inside they went to the kitchen and he saw the leftovers from whatever she had cooked. He was so hungry that he ate part of it cold and then decided to heat it up while she sat at the computer.

"How was your day?" he had asked her as she scrolled over things on the screen.

"Oh you know, eventful like always." she shrugged.

"Well that sounds fantabulous." he grinned and sat across from her with the food she had made.

"Hey, Spence." she looked up from the computer at him as he shoved a large amount of food into his mouth.

"Yeah?" it sounded like but it came out as a jumble, yet she understood what he had said.

"This might seem a little strange coming from me but can we conspire and make a cake?"

He squinted his eyes as he observed her through his lashes.

"What would this cake be for?"

Her face seemed to become a little red at this question, but she managed to shove it down for the most part.

"Are you really going to ask me this?" she asked averting her eyes from Spencer's.

"It wouldn't happen to be for a certain tech producer would it?" he raised an eyebrow and smirked at her. She sent a glare at him and squished her lips together.

"Why would I want to make a cake for that nub?"

"I could think of a few reasons, but I'm guessing it's for his birthday this coming weekend. "I'll help you, but do you think it should be done here?"

"No, I was thinking we could move this project to my old place. I have to sell it in a few months and I figured I should use it while I have it. Besides that dork will see it and it's got to be a surprise."

So that's how Spencer ended up in Sam's old kitchen covered in frosting and being stopped before he caused harm to their few days of work.

"We've got to give it time to set before we try to apply anything more to it." she informed him and set the knife down.

"It's coming along nicely though, I so think he's going to like this one." Spencer grinned and then scooped a bit of frosting off his face and ate it. "This frosting is amazing! What did you put in it?"

"It's a secret. I don't like frosting but I figured I could make it taste better."

"This was a great idea though. Freddie is going to be so surprised."

"Just remember, this was all your doing. I was never apart of this cake making."

"I remember. But why don't you want him to know that you pretty much made this thing?"

"Spencer, just don't say anything. Besides you would have made him a cake anyways."

"Yeah, even though his mom ruined the last few parties, this time we have a plan to make this one amazing."

"I just felt like I-" she looked down at her hands.

"I know kiddo, you don't need to explain."

"Like I said, keep it to yourself. If people found out I care then I'd have to start cracking more skulls then usual."

Same old Sam, promising bodily harm to random people, it was good to have her sort of back to normal.

"We are so going to finish this before five!" he cheered and looked over at their masterpiece sitting on the counter. "You've got to get back soon though for the show." he reminded her going over to their concoction and continuing his work.

"Yeah I know, I just want to make sure we get completely done. Then Carly is supposed to come over here to start decorating. I told her she had to wait until the morning of the party, so she doesn't find this until then." she smirked and started to help him with the final touches.

"What did you get him for his birthday?" he asked as he positioned a few pieces just right.

"It's a secret."

"I figured you'd say that. I got him specially made socks with fencing figures and little cameras. Socko said it took him a while to get them to work together."

"There, all done." she smiled at their handy work. "Now we've got to put this in the fridge, did you take out all the shelves?" she asked wiping her hands on the apron she was wearing. He nodded and went to open it up for her. She carefully lifted the cake and carried it toward the fridge slowly, it was quite heavy but she managed to reach the fridge and place it inside.

"You go first and I'll be there in an hour. I've got to go take care of a few things before I go home." she thought for a moment and smiled. "I said home."

"Yeah, you pretty much lived there before all this stuff happened anyways. Now it's more official." he washed off his hands and tried to get some of the frosting out of his hair and clothes but was having trouble. Sam left the kitchen and headed for the upstairs bathroom to take a quick shower to get rid of the evidence.

"I'm heading back!" Spencer called up the stairs and received an 'Okay' though it was muffled by the water and the door. He made sure to lock the door before he exited and headed home.

Sam stood before the mirror and brushed her hair slowly, just staring at herself. Normally she didn't care about how she looked or how people viewed her. But something about the girl that stared back at her made her curious. Any time that she'd look at her own reflection it was quick and hurried. She never noticed anything significant until now, but she looked older. She had indeed grown a lot over the year. Was this how others saw her everyday?

Sighing she finished up and left the bathroom, it didn't really matter to her what she looked like. She couldn't change who she was on the inside, not that she wanted to either.

She had been moving the furniture around all week to make it easier for Carly to set up things. Some things were moved upstairs to get them out of the way and so people wouldn't mess with them. It felt weird in such an empty space.

Glancing over at the clock she found that she still had time to run a few errands before heading back to her new place of residence.

* * *

Carly and Freddie sat up in the studio for a while and prepared for the show. They had only one day to actually prepare, yet again. Sam had been scarce all week and that didn't give them enough of a chance to really be prepared. Carly had chosen most of the skits and Sam only had to remember what to do.

From the studio they could hear the front door open and then close, proceeded by feet running toward another room and closing another door.

They looked to one another and shrugged, they figured it must have been Spencer.

"Say, Freddie." she started. Should she step into the realm that she'd avoided for a few weeks now?

"Yeah?" he looked up from his laptop and stopped what he was doing.

"Can we talk?"

If it had been a year ago he would have been expecting some sort of love confession from the brunette. This wasn't the case and he began to feel a bit worried about what she wanted to talk about.

"Uh...sure." he set down the camera and walked over to where she was. She plopped down in the seats behind the car and he did the same. "What about?" he asked folding his arms and looking at her expectantly.

The brunette wasn't sure why she felt she should talk to him now of all times but she was just so curious.

"You and Sam." she blurted out and looked over at him, expecting him to freak out.

"What about us?" he didn't even react to her asking.

"What's going on with you guys?"

"Nothing, why?"

"Oh come on Freddie, can you sit there and tell me that there's nothing going on between you guys?"

The room seemed to get hotter, at least for him. He shifted a little in his seat and avoided looking at her face. What could she possibly know? Had they given too much away with their fighting? Was he that transparent that anyone could see his heart from under its hiding place? He was planning on keeping it buried for as long as possible. It was easier to avoid it if it wasn't out in the open. Besides he knew that Sam would never return any of the pent up feelings he had.

"I really have no idea what you're talking about Carly." he got up and went back over to his cart to finish getting everything ready for the show.

Carly sat there for a moment and watched him work, noticing that his eyebrows were knitted together as though he were thinking really hard. Her attempts at getting answers out of Fredward Benson had failed. He wasn't planning on admitting anything to anyone, least of all her.

It was then that they heard a ding from the elevator and out danced Sam who was going all out with her movies. She was doing all sorts of hip movements and arm flailing. She grinned at them and stopped.

"Homies!" she laughed still smiling like a loon. It was the happiest she'd been in a while and the two wondered what was up with her.

"Are you alright Sam?" Carly asked cautiously approaching the blond.

"I'm super! Fantabulous even! Woo!!" she started dancing around again and Carly was growing more concerned.

"Seriously Sam what's going on?"

"Can't I be in a good mood?" Sam looked up at her best friend while stopping her dancing.

"You can, but it doesn't usually happen and you're hardly _this_ happy."

"Bah!" she scoffed and grabbed her remote. "So how long do we have until the show starts?" she asked Freddie who had been gaping at her for the last five minutes. "Fredley?" she raised an eyebrow at him as he came back to reality. "Stop daydreaming about Carly and answer me." she knew that he wasn't really daydreaming about Carly but it was all she could think to say at the moment.

"I wasn't!" he snapped glaring at Sam, feeling really embarrassed. He knew why it bothered him that she'd think that but refused to say it out loud.

"Oh whatever, what time does the show start?"

"In ten minutes." he sighed and went back to what he was doing. He wasn't in the mood to deal with her snippiness, especially since he kept wondering where she was all week.

At first he just assumed that she was just busy with something outside of their regular routine. But then his jealous mind had started to concoct theories in which Spencer was apart of. It was impossible to even think such things about a guy like Spencer. He wouldn't date a girl Sam's age, it would be weird for him, what with his own sister being her age. He was thirty for goodness sakes and Sam never showed any interest of that nature when it came to Spencer.

Maybe he was reading too much into them both being absent for the past week but he couldn't help but be suspicious of them. The nagging at the back of his mind wouldn't stop though. It kept bringing forth images of disturbing situations in which Sam and Spencer were the key players.

Shaking the thoughts from his mind he grabbed his camera and got ready for the show.

"We start in 5, 4, 3, 2..." he pointed his finger at the two who joined one another. Sam was still super happy as she turned her head to the side.

"PEOPLE!!!" she shouted into the camera. "You're watching iCarly!"

"I'm Carly!"

"I'm Sam-o!"

Carly chuckled at this and went to stand at the car.

"Today on iCarly we're going to show you a new trailer for another bad movie."

"Fredley, roll it!" Sam called pointing to him.

He pressed a few buttons and the TV came out and started to play the movie. Sam and Carly stood off to the side as it played. The blond was smiling to herself, looking as though she were in deep thought. This only caused him to become more suspicious of the idea of Sam and Spencer.

Once the film ended they got back to the show which was filled with a few old classics as well as more Gibby who brought his 'A' game. Then there was a drum solo by Sam while Carly sang purposefully off key. It was a pretty amazing show. When the show was coming to an end Carly was about to say good night but Sam stopped her and went over to Freddie. She grabbed the camera from her hands and pointed it at him. Carly looked just as confused as he walked over to her.

"Uh…" he said looking a little nervous in front of the camera.

"Alright viewers, take a good look at Fredwod here and remember him as he is, for tomorrow he'll become a man and attempt to grow some leg hair."

"Sam!" he whined, embarrassed still about the fact that he hadn't grown leg hair.

"Tomorrow our dork becomes something of a man, he's turning 18 people, so go online and wish him a happy birthday!" despite her comments he couldn't help but blush and smile a bit.

"You heard her, go with him a happy birthday!" Carly stated and Freddie took this time to take the camera from Sam.

"Good night people!" the both said and did their little dance before the broadcast ended.

"That was sort of nice of you Sam." Carly commented smiling. Her blond friend just rolled her eyes at this and shrugged.

"Eh, the dork at least should get some b-day wishes, right? It's a big deal; we did it when you turned eighteen Carls."

"I suppose so, Sam." Carly shrugged but kept her eyes on her best friend. She then let her eyes wander to Freddie who was also eyeing Sam weirdly.

"Oh would you guys stop geez!" she threw up her hands and walked out of the studio.

In the kitchen is where they found their blond friend preparing dinner, with Spencer. With the thoughts that Freddie had been having he found himself viewing those same images again. He started to notice little bits of interaction between them as they worked on making dinner.

"No, wait Spence, not yet." she pulled whatever was in his hands and he whined and pouted at the blond.

"But, it's time!" he cried and she just rolled her eyes.

"No it isn't; why are you always so impatient?"

"Are you serious? You are the most impatient person I know and you're going to lecture me on patience?" Spencer laughed and allowed her to take the food from his hands.

"When it comes to cooking you have to be patient, outside that you can be as impatient as you want to." she glared at him and shoved him out of the way.

"Well excuse me." he said and threw his hands up in the air dramatically.

"You're excused, now scram!" she returned her attention to the stove and began preparing what looked like corn tortillas in oil.

"What are you making, Sam?" Carly asked sitting at the kitchen table with a can of Peppy Cola.

"Enchiladas!" she grinned and stood there holding a corn tortilla over the oil, which smelled different.

"Why does that oil smell so weird?" she asked wrinkling her nose.

"It's peanut oil, it's a really good oil that isn't bad for your heath, well if you're dieting."

"But you're not dieting, Sam." Carly pointed out.

"So, it makes them taste better." she scoffed. "If you use other oils they kind of get thick and gross and if we have leftovers, which I hope we don't, the oil won't get gooey and stick to the enchiladas." she stated in a matter-of-fact tone.

"Who are you and what have you don't to Sam?"

"Carls, I'm Sam, who else would I be?"

"An impostor!" Carly squeaked and looked at her best friend with wide eyes.

"I like to cook Carls, that's all. You've got your writing and all that stuff you enjoy. Fredley has his ultra nerdy tech stuff and Spencer sculpts. Is it so wrong that I might enjoy this and want to learn about it?" she raised an eyebrow at her best friend who sighed.

"No I think it's wonderful and I get to enjoy all the food you make." she grinned.

Freddie joined Spencer on the couch and glanced at him once and a while until Spencer started to notice. The older man raised an eyebrow at the younger and Freddie looked away.

"Something on your mind Freddo?" he sort of whispered.

"Oh, nothing." he said quickly.

"We could leave the room if there's something you want to talk about." Spencer offered.

"That might be easier." he said blushing. He couldn't believe that he was actually going to talk to Spencer about this.

The two males left the living room and headed for the elevator and got in. Once they reached the top floor the headed into the iCarly studio. Freddie didn't know why he felt he should talk to Spencer about something the guy was involved in, well in his mind anyway.

"So what's wrong Freddo?" he sat down on the end of the car front.

"Spencer, this is going to sound weird and maybe a little crazy but…" he sighed and leaned against the little table and looked at Spencer.

"What?"

"Are you and Sam having some secret relationship?" he blurted out really fast and prepared himself for the worst.

The older man just stared back at Freddie with wide eyes. So many thoughts were flying through his head as he observed the tech producer. As he thought through the past week and Freddie's question it started to come together. It might have looked like they were always running off together. But for different reasons than what Freddie had come to; he wanted to laugh. Then the thought actually sunk in and he felt sort of nauseous. Just the thought disturbed him on so many levels. How could Freddie even think that he'd go for a younger girl who was a minor? Besides he wasn't the type of guy to go for younger girls, especially ones that were friends with his little sister. Heck, she was like his little sister for goodness sakes!

"You're kidding right?" he found himself saying in shock.

"Well…I don't know Spence. I just…"

"So you thought that we were off all week 'getting it on'." he made a disgusted face as he said this and Freddie relaxed a bit. "Kiddo, you've got it all wrong. The only times I've seen Sam was when she let me use her house to get my surprise for you ready. She'd let me in and leave then I'd lock up and come home. She wouldn't tell me what she had to do but she'd just vanish after that."

"Oh." he scrunched his brows together and turned his lips to the side. "I feel stupid." he chuckled.

"You should feel stupid. Besides why do you care so much what Sam does?" this time it was Spencer's turn to turn the tables.

"I don't." he shook his head vigorously and blushed a bit.

"You can tell me Freddie, the girls aren't around. It's just us guys." he said in a dramatic way and flexed his biceps a bit.

"I don't have anything to talk about, just wanted to know…just what I asked you is all." his blush started to creep up to his forehead.

"Freddie, you like Sam don't you." Spencer said laying it all out there. He knew the signs of jealousy when he saw them and this young lad was jealous, of him.

"What?" he snapped. "I don't! How could I like someone who constantly calls me names and punches me 'just because'?" he scowled and looked away from Spencer. "She's pushy, abrasive, mean, ugh, the list goes on." he sighed.

"But you loooooove her." Spencer taunted making a heart in the air with his fingers.

"What? Okay this conversation isn't helping at all and I don't!" he huffed.

"If you say so kiddo, but I can tell. I'm the master at love after all." he bragged and Freddie couldn't help but smile at this.

"Let's go back downstairs." he said and headed back to the elevator.

"Fine, but you'll have to admit it sometime and when you do I'll do this." he said and then jumped in the air and clicked his heels together happily.

**

* * *

**

With the meat cooked and rolled up inside the corn tortilla with green chili, cheese and black olives on top, she pushed it into the oven for thirty minutes. Carly came over and helped her clean up the huge mess in the kitchen. They both noticed the boys run off upstairs and wondered what it was about. Carly had her opinions but just shrugged and went to get a rag to wipe up the counters.

"That smells amazing, Sam!" Spencer stated coming around the corner with a still flushed Freddie.

"It's filled with meaty cheesy goodness." she grinned and placed the skillet in the sink.

"How do you know how to make enchiladas?" Freddie asked trying to get rid of the blush on his face.

"That's a secret." she winked and left the kitchen.

She flopped onto the couch and grabbed the remote. The others joined her; Freddie sat at one end while Spencer sat next to her and Carly next to Spencer. It was an odd way to sit for them since the three friends always sat right by each other.

"Say, Sam, when's that 'hang out' thing going down with Roger?" Spencer asked while she flipped through channels.

"We decided on Sunday, since we don't do church." she shrugged and found a channel playing Girly Cow.

After a while the oven timer dinged and Sam got up to check on the meal. Pulling it out she found that the cheese was just right and it smelled perfect. The others all gathered in the kitchen as she cut it up and put nice sized pieces onto plates. They all sat down and enjoyed the most amazing enchiladas in the world!

**

* * *

**

The next morning Carly woke to the smell of pancakes. She found herself stumbling down the stairs and into the kitchen. Sam greeted her with a wave and then she headed back over to the stove. Freddie sat in his pajamas at the island counter watching her cook while he drank some coffee, hair still a mess. Spencer sat next to him in the same state enjoying coffee and muttering things to Freddie.

The blond on the other hand looked wide awake and quite chipper. She was wearing some boxer shorts and a t-shirt that read 'Cheese Flavored Cheesecake'.

"Almost done guys." she told them and flipped another pancake onto a plate. She then lifted it and carried it over to the island and set it down. Next she grabbed all sorts of toppings and went back to grab what looked like sausage and bacon as well as toast.

Freddie looked as though he were dragged out of bed against his will. It wouldn't have surprised Carly in the least if that's how it happened. Why was another matter completely, to her?

After breakfast Carly left to start the decorating at Sam's old house, with Spencer soon following. Freddie sat around the Shay home bored out of his mind while Sam stayed up in her room and listened to music. In hour into trying to watch television he decided to go upstairs and see what she was up to.

What he found was Sam listening to random music and dancing around the studio. Not that it was uncommon for her to do this but had she been doing this the whole time?

"Sam!" he called over the music, trying to get her attention. She turned mid move and stopped what she was doing.

Once the music was off she raised an eyebrow at him.

"What do you want Fredwod?" she sighed

"I'm bored." he shrugged and went over to his cart; it seemed that he'd been doing that a lot lately. It seemed like it was the only safe thing to distract him from the blond before him. He could remember the good old days when they could say whatever bothered them about one another and get it over with. Not this time, nope, he couldn't tell her what she was doing to him.

"What do ya want me to do about it?" she scowled and flopped onto a beanbag chair.

"Maybe we could watch some more of those 'home movies'." he suggested smiling, despite her foul mood.

"Fine, roll 'em." she shrugged and turned her body toward the TV. He rolled his eyes and pressed the play button on the next one after the last they watched. After that the next started up and he joined her yet again at the beanbags. She was sprawled out and her head was near his waist but not touching, he glanced down at her but she had her eyes on the video.

Marissa, who looked about fifteen, was sitting on a park bench raising an eyebrow at whoever was filming.

"Sarah, why?" she asked after a moment of silence.

"Why not, love?" Sarah laughed.

"What do you want to know?"

"Why do you always say no to our dear friend Nathan?" he asked outright and caused Marissa to blush slightly.

"I don't think I should tell you that, you'll just use it against him later." she save her friend behind the camera a stern look.

"I won't this time, I promise you."

"Swear it."

"I swear it!"

"Fine then, if you must know it's because he's just a friend and I just don't feel that way about him. It's like if you were really close with someone and he was like your little brother, you know? It's just weird to think about it." she made a weird face.

"Yeah you'd probably have mutant babies or something." Joked Sarah, but Sam could hear something else in her tone.

"I just don't understand why you two can't get along. I mean you've known each other since the womb for goodness sakes. Why can't you just be nice to him once and a while?"

There was a long pause before Sarah decided to answer. Marissa stared up into the camera at her best friend, waiting for an answer.

"Isn't it obvious?" she finally said in yet another familiar tone, to Sam.

"Well no, it isn't kid."

"He's an idiot, for a smart guy. He's always freakin' out about the stupidest things, I could go on but I won't."

"So I'm guessing this won't change then, the fighting and abuse?"

"Sorry madam but it won't change."

Marissa sighed and got up.

"Is that all?"

"I suppose so." the camera moved a bit which suggested that Sarah shrugged.

"Good, turn that thing off, I get enough of it with Nathan. I don't want to have to take yours away too."

"I'd love to see you try." Sarah started running but she shut off the camera so it cut right there and went to the next video.

Sarah was sitting on a couch in a posed position, like the camera was on the tripod. She grinned at the camera and folded her arms into her lap. Sam could see somewhat familiar things behind her mother, like the front door to the right of her and the stairs as well.

"Hello, I'm making this video for my child Samantha who is currently four, almost five. I should have made it while I was pregnant but I never got that change. She's visiting with my mother for the weekend so I'm pretty much all on my lonesome in this house. Your daddy had a business meeting to go to with some bigwig producing company for some band." she informed the video camera. "Now I figured that I should make this video to you while I got the chance." suddenly there was a knock at the door and then the person behind it just barged in. She jumped up and went over to the intruder.

"We need to talk, Sarah." he stated glaring down at her while she did the same. He didn't even seem to notice the camera and Sam was getting a little nervous about how this conversation was going to go.

"What now Nathan, didn't we just have this conversation the other day?" she frowned and went to sit on the steps of the stairs.

"No, you yelled in my face and then pushed me out the door."

"So you think it's okay to just come in here and yell at me?"

"When you're being like this, then yes I do." he folded his arms and leaned against the door.

"Why does it even matter?" her voice was filled with so much emotion that Sam had to hold the side of her beanbag.

"It matters to me, what you said matters. Don't you get it by now?"

"Obviously not, this doesn't change anything between us, it just makes it worse."

"Sarah, for someone so smart you sure are an idiot." he sighed.

"Just leave okay? I don't want to talk about this. Can't we go back to just hating each other?"

"I don't think I can." he frowned.

"Why do you have to make a big deal out of this?"

Sam wondered what could have been said in their last conversation that caused this one to come up. It sounded like Sarah might have opened her big mouth.

"Sarah, you told me that you loved me. How am I supposed to forget that so easily?" he moved closer to her and got down to her level.

Freddie gasped beside her and she smacked her forehead. Mrs. Benson could never know about this.

"Your….mom…my….dad?" he was looking at her in shock and disbelief.

"Fredward, just keep it to yourself okay?"

"But, this is so wrong!"

"Should we stop the film?" she asked seeing that this was seriously disturbing him.

"No, I think I'll be okay." he said though his voice was shaking slightly.

"What does it matter? You and I are both married, I know this, I didn't even mean to say it." she brushed it off and stood up and tried to walk passed him but he was blocking her way. "Move." she shoved his shoulders but found that they were really close and her back was mere inches from the wall.

"No." he said sternly, moving toward her.

"We can't keep doing this Nathan. It isn't fair." her voice was starting to quiver as he pressed her against the wall. "You and I will never be together, don't you get that?" she was crying now and this caused Nathan to step back from her.

"I'm sorry Sarah."

"No, it's fine." she sighed and looked into his eyes. "You have a family Nathan and so do I. We made our choices a long time ago and now we have to live with them. You're an honorable man and you can't just up and leave your family."

"Marissa and I have been having trouble all year. I knew that it was partly my fault."

"What are you talking about? You guys are the happiest couple I've ever seen."

"We're not. She works all the time and I've found that I'm in love with someone else."

"Don't you dare!" she shouted at him and shoved him more forcefully.

"I have to!" he leaned against the couch and looked at her while she glared back at him. "I can't believe I never saw it before. I mean I felt it once and a while but I just figured it was teenage bodily reactions. But over this past year I've noticed it more and I didn't know what to do."

"Go home and be with your family, that's what you should do."

"I just can't go on pretending that I don't feel this way. Don't you get it? I should have been with you all these years."

"No, you've practically been in love with Marissa since you first laid eyes on her. That doesn't just go away overnight, Nathan."

"Tell me this isn't happening." Freddie stated looking over at Sam with wide eyes.

"It's not happening," she said raising an eyebrow.

"Gee thanks Sam that was believable." he glared.

Nathan stood there, his back to the camera while Sarah looked completely distraught about this conversation. She made sure to keep distance between them and held onto the railing.

"I'm sorry." Nathan finally said working his way over to her. "I don't know what to do; I know that I can't just pretend that I don't love you like I do."

"That's just it, Nathan, you don't love me. You're trying to find a way out of your marriage and I won't be apart of that."

"That's not it at all."

"Yes it is, I won't be the reason you mess up your marriage. Think of Freddie and how much he needs you, doesn't that bother you at all that you'd want to leave him?"

"But I wouldn't leave him, I love him too much."

"Then you just had better turn around and walk out that door now and go home where you belong." she gripped the side of the banister and looked like she was in pain.

"So that's it then? We're supposed to just live out the rest of our days pretending that we don't love each other?"

"Yes, because you'll get over it and realize it was all a mistake."

"Sarah, what about you?"

"What about me?" she sent a glare at him and moved up a step, to put more distance. He sighed and came over to her and grabbed her hands. She allowed him to lead her away from the stairs.

"Sarah, I'm not going to take it back but I won't keep hurting you like this. If this is what you want then I'll go back and pretend I'm happy without you. But I'm not going to deny that I love you." he gave her a stern look and pulled her into a hug. She pushed her face into his chest and gripped his shirt tightly.

"That's what I want." she said weakly and then pushed herself from him. "Now go home." her eyes met his and for a moment it looked like she was going to change her mind.

He started to back up and then opened the front door. His eyes never left hers as he backed out of the house and closed the door. Once he was gone Sarah crumbled to the bottom step and sat there for a moment and ran her hands through her hair.

The tape must have run out because it just cut after that.

"I think we should stop watching these for a while." Freddie said and got up. He started to pace back and forth, not sure what to do or say.

"Fredward, it's not a big deal."

"How can you say that? Doesn't it bother you at all that your mom and my dad were having some sort of secret love affair?"

"I don't know how I feel about it, I just know that we can't do anything about it now." she looked away sadly. The thought that both were now gone and couldn't really defend themselves or even have a chance.

"Sorry, it's just that this was unbelievable. My dad actually planned to leave my mom? Was it so bad with us that he'd just want to go?"

"Weren't you listening at all Dweeb?" she rolled her eyes. "He went back home for you."

Freddie leaned against the wall nearest to him and rubbed his face. He could hear Sam moving toward him and looked up, she was about five inches from him with her arms folded.

"It's just weird." he sighed.

"Well yeah it is weird but you and I can't fix it or change what happened."

"But what about my mom, doesn't she deserve to know?"

Sam stood there for a moment and looked him in the eye, trying to decide what to say. Should she even tell him that his mother knew? Would that ease his mind knowing that his mother had found out over twelve years ago?

"Gah! I promised I wouldn't say anything, okay?" she snapped and leaned against his cart, crossing her arms.

"You what?" his eyes grew wide.

"When your mom talked to me she told me about how she saw my mom and your dad kiss at work. I guess they used to work at the movie studio together and Sarah really _loved_ him but never told him." It was making her stomach turn as she said this but she carried on. "So she gave up on him after he started dating your mom and it remained like that for years until something happened, I don't know what but his feelings changed." She looked above his head so she wouldn't have to actually look at him. He had his head down so that even if she tried she wouldn't be able to see his face. She didn't expect that it would affect him this bad. She stood there wondering what she should do. "Hey, dork." he looked up at her then and his face was set in a scowl. "It's going to be okay?" she asked it as more of a question than a statement. "Damn Benson don't make me get all mushy here, just snap out of it."

He sighed and allowed his face to relax.

"It's so weird though. I always just thought that they had this perfect marriage. I always just-"

"Nothing is ever perfect, you should know this. I know that he loved you though, isn't that enough for you?"

He sighed and pushed himself off the wall and stood before her. As much as he wanted to avoid contact he felt the urge to pull her to him and never let go. It was so unreasonable that he'd want to hug a dangerous beast like Sam. As he got closer she looked a bit disgruntled as he closed the space between them. She was so shocked by his boldness that she allowed him to wrap his arms around her. She held back a content sigh and decided to just put her hands against his chest, it was the safer route.

They stood there for a moment while he held onto her as though she were a life preserver. Normally she would have punched him and told him never to touch her but it was his birthday after all and she let information out that he wasn't supposed to know about. There were limits to the things they'd do to one another and their parents to an extent were part of that. She could mention his crazy mother but never his father and the same for him, up until recently. It was an unspoken rule between the two and it had worked fine. But these videos had caused them to be stuck in emotional turmoil. It was a place where Sam wasn't a welcomed guest.

But the feel of his hands on her back and his breath in her hair was causing those same feelings to creep up her spine. He must have realized this too because his breath had become labor as his hand started to move up to cup the side of her head. Her heart felt like it was going to try and escape her rib cage and attack him at any moment. This wasn't fair of him to cause these things to happen. It just wasn't natural for the nub to have this sort of control over her body.

She found herself bending her head back as he left warm kisses along her jaw. Her knees were going weak by this slight action. He looked down at her with half opened eyes and tilted her head a bit so that their mouths were parallel.

The only thoughts going through his mind at that moment were to kiss her and that's all he's wanted to do since their previous kiss.

"I'm going to kiss you now." he said in a throaty tone that threw her off track. Before she had time to process this, his lips found hers and she felt herself respond almost as though they'd been doing this for ages. Their bodies seemed to stick together like a magnet as they moved form the cart and stumbled along the studio until Sam found her back pressing against the hood of the car. She pushed up and backed him up into the wall where her 'room' was.

He was mildly surprised by her boldness, yet it was expected from her as well. This wasn't going to end well, he knew this for sure. Once she came out of the haze of their moment she'd rip his arms off and beat him with them.

She started to unbutton the top buttons of his collared shirt while still remaining on his lips. He didn't mind this and removed it, throwing it off to the side, leaving him in only a thin long-sleeved shirt. He couldn't believe what was happening; this had to be a dream.

Soft fingertips moved underneath his shirt as he trailed kisses down her neck. It was so surreal, being in this moment with her. He felt himself shiver from her touch, which she must have noticed because she smiled into his lips.

Gripping her waist he shifted them so that she was against the wall rather than him. She gasped into his mouth and he couldn't help but chuckle at this. It was nice getting the upper hand on the blond once and a while. It didn't last long though and he found himself being pushed down to the floor, with a mischievous Sam about him, straddling his waist.

The look in her eyes was remarkable to him and he felt himself being drawn in. He found that it was easier to control his body more now than the other night when she had bit him on the neck. She leaned her head above his and looked thoughtfully into his eyes.

She looked so amazing in that moment, her hair practically glowing and messy as she leaned closer to his face. She kissed him this time and he groaned as she ran her hands through his hair. The feel of her fingertips was too amazing for words. He never knew that Sam could actually be gentle.

He allowed his hands to rest on her waist and softly stroke the sides. She pressed herself into him more and gripped his hair a little tighter; he found that he didn't mind the slight pain.

While they were in their own little world, Carly arrived and headed up to the studio. When she entered she could kind of see Freddie's shoes sticking out from a distance. Moving in a bit more she could hear strange sounds and Sam's shoes. Sighing she mentally prepared herself to deal with yet another Sam and Freddie fight. She leaves them alone for four hours and they can't even get along.

As she approached her eyes grew wide at what she found. Sam was still sitting on Freddie while his hand sat under her shirt at her stomach area. The blond had her hands entangled in his hair while they remained glued at the mouth. This wasn't the only thing she noticed, they were making strange noises and moving against each other in a way that was unfamiliar to her, yet it just seemed like something 'couples' would do.

She stood there for a moment and watched as Freddie pulled Sam closer into him and flipped them over so that he was above her this time. Sam gasped but allowed it; she put her hands under his shirt and lightly scratched at his stomach which earned her a groan of pleasure from the boy above her.

Carly blushed and decided it was time for her to let them know that she was there.

"Guys." she started but they must not have heard her so she stepped closer. "Guys?" she said this a little louder. This was just too much for the brunette to take. "Will you two stop groping each other!" she snapped and the two on the floor opened their eyes and froze.

Freddie looked down at Sam, suddenly realizing what they were actually doing. He pulled away from her and sat on the floor breathing heavily.

Sam was just as shocked as he was. Even though she should have stopped this half an hour ago she couldn't bring herself to. She knew this couldn't go anywhere, high school wasn't the place you'd find your soul mate, usually. That's how she felt about it anyways and didn't believe that she was right for Freddie.

Like so many times before she kept reminding herself that he wasn't meant for her. The girl was out somewhere waiting to meet him and have the storybook ending. Someone like Carly was waiting for her dork. That was hard to swallow, that he'd be with someone else other than her. But that's how it had to remain, friendship came first, she reminded herself as she sat there staring at him.

Carly watched the two stare at one another with a smirk on her face. They must have finally decided that they belonged together, or so she thought.

"So guys, when can we set the wedding date?" she joked and the two snapped their heads to her and looked so disgruntled.

"You've got to be kidding!" shouted Sam, blushing bright red.

"I'd never marry a demon like that!" Freddie shouted pointing at Sam, though there was no real malice behind his words. Sam wasn't going to deny that it still stung, at least to herself.

"Like I'd ever want to be married to a huge dork like you." she countered glaring at him.

The brunette sighed and grabbed her spray bottle and squirted them both in the face effectively breaking up their bickering.

"All I know is that you two were locked at the lips and going at it like wild animals. No scratch that, animals are more tame when it comes to _that_." she shook her head at the two and folded her arms. "Anyways, I came to get you guys, everything is ready to go, except that the birthday boy isn't there and neither is my _helpful_ friend who didn't bother to do anything for today." she gave Sam a look that clearly stated sarcasm.

"Why would I want to do anything for the dork's birthday anyways?" Sam returned the look.

"Because that's what friends do."

"Whatever, let's just leave already."

Carly headed for the door and decided to give the two a moment to collect themselves. She didn't go far though, incase she had to go back in and break up another _fight_.

* * *

Spencer opened the door for them when they arrived; he'd stayed with Carly the whole time so she wouldn't see the cake. There were a few people from school already there dancing. Gibby waved at them as they walked in and then went back to dancing, without his shirt on, with his girlfriend.

Pretty soon others arrived and the party was in full swing.

Yet Freddie and Sam couldn't seem to focus on the party at all. They stayed as far away from each other the entire night until it was time to bring out the cake. She was so nervous that he'd find out that she had assisted in the making of the cake. She had decided on the design as well as all the baking. Spencer brought it to life with his brilliant sculpting skills.

As it was being brought out Sam held her breath, it still looked amazing. The whole room got quiet as it was set on the kitchen table that everyone had gathered around. Freddie sat down in front of it and looked amazed by it like everyone else.

"Wow, Spencer this looks…wow…" he was tongue-tied at he took in all the details.

It was an exact replica of his laptop, right down to the littlest detail. Around it though were really detailed candy figures of Fencers. On the screen was a picture of him, Spencer, Carly and Sam, in great detail.

Spencer shared a look with Sam that didn't go unnoticed by Carly, but she kept it to herself.

"It was nothing, Freddo; spent all week working on this."

"You didn't have to do this for me, but thanks, I love it." he smiled at Spencer who scratched the back of his head and felt awkward accepting the credit for something Sam had put all her time into as well. But Sam gave him a stern look and shook her head slightly, telling him to keep his mouth shut.

"Let's get a picture of it before we destroy it." Carly suggested pulling out her digital camera and snapping a few shots of the cake and Freddie who tried to avoid the camera.

As the cake was cut Sam joined Spencer over by the counter and watched their masterpiece being devoured by the teens in the room.

Once the cake had been taken down, presents were presented before Freddie. This year he actually got normal gifts from people rather than having his mother confiscate everything.

Gifts ranged from CDs to tech things, Carly got him new software, while Spencer had socks made for him, which he rather likes. Sam hadn't presented him with a gift and he wasn't sure if he should feel hurt by this or not. She stood off behind the crowd of people who watched as he opened up his gifts.

After all the presents had been put away everyone headed for the living room to continue dancing. Freddie stood off in the archway and watched everyone have a good time. Carly was dancing with the guy from their Trig class happily, but Sam was nowhere in sight.

Spencer was still stuffing his face in the kitchen with cake and looked over at Freddie when he looked his way.

"Where'd Sam go?" he asked the older guy.

"I think she went upstairs." he shrugged.

Freddie snuck past a few people and worked his way up the stairs, which was off limits to the partygoers. Once in the hallway he looked both ways and found light coming from the bedroom to his right. Walking toward it he opened the door and peeked in. Sam sat near the windowsill and looked in deep thought. He wondered if he should go in and disturb her or just go back downstairs to his party.

He was kind of peeved with her, she didn't help out Carly with the decorating, she hadn't said a word about what happened earlier; she didn't even get him a gift. A card would have been fine too, but she just detached herself from the entire thing. It was like she didn't even care at all. Maybe he was being too selfish about this and so he decided to just talk to her.

"I wondered when you'd work your way up here, dork." she muttered not looking at him.

"How'd you-" he started but she cut him off.

"You're predictable, I knew you'd want to talk as soon as everyone got back to the party." she turned her head which was leaning on her knees. "So let's hear what you have to say and get it over with."

He stepped in and closed the door behind him. The room seemed to get warmer after he did this but he pushed that way.

"About earlier-" he began and stopped for a moment. How was he supposed to talk to her about this?

"Fredifer, what happened earlier meant nothing. Like I've told you before we're just friends and that's not going to change." even though she wished that it could.

He hadn't noticed the music playing softly on the portable speakers near the window until then. The song seemed strangely significant.

"_Caught in a trap of what we're taught to believe. When night overcomes day, life's so hard to perceive. And the clock keeps on ticking through night-shattered skies. Where the stars are all broken, and so are all the ties. But the one thing remaining is you. When I'm broken and bleeding, you pull me right through_."

He had heard this song before on a movie soundtrack but wouldn't quite remember what it was called.

"Are you serious? Of course it had to mean something."

"All it meant was that you and I have no self control when it comes to our hormones. Do you really want to talk about this? It's supposed to be your _birthday_ and all. Why the hell are you up here talking about something unimportant when you should be downstairs mingling with our classmates." she deadpanned as she said this and kept all her emotions at bay. She didn't really want to hurt him to the point of an ended friendship but she couldn't keep having this talk with him. Why'd she allow earlier happen?

"Oh give it a break Sam!" he yelled and glared at her. "Why do you keep doing this? Why can't you just tell me how you really feel instead of pretending that there isn't something going on between us?"

"There isn't anything going on between us Benson." she looked him in the eye and glared at him.

He hadn't moved from his spot since he came in and wasn't sure if it would be a good idea to do so.

"You are going to sit there and tell me you don't feel anything when we kiss?" she was silent and then looked away. He took this as a sign to continue. Braving a trip over to her he sat down next to her legs and faced her, their faces mere inches from each other.

He brought his hand up and touched the side of her face, while she glared at him even more. Yet she allowed him to touch her, leaning a little toward his hand as though it were natural to her. It was almost unfair to have to succumb to his touch like this, even though she attempted to tell him there was nothing between them.

"Why can't you get it through your thick skull?" she finally asked him as he stroked the side of her face gently. Her voice cracked slightly but she pushed it down as best she could.

"Why can't you just admit you like me?"

"Because I don't, I can't stand looking at you, talking to you, smelling you or seeing your stupid eyes looking at me like that." she bit out with more malice than usual.

He could feel his brain switch over and the urge to kiss her again was surfacing.

"Liar." he muttered and gripped her face and pulled it to his, filling the space between their face. At first she responded to his kiss with need, but realized that she couldn't get sucked in again. This couldn't keep happening; she wasn't the one who should be enjoying his lips.

She had to force herself to pull away and pushed him away from her.

"Benson, if you do that again I'll make sure you never have children." she stated.

"Just admit that you like me as more than a friend and I'll leave you alone."

"I don't like you that way," she started and internally composed herself for what she was planning to say. "I just like making out with you on occasion, there's no feeling behind that." she looked him dead in the eyes as she said this. It hurt like hell to have to say it like that but he wasn't getting it. "That's all it is Benson, outside that we're just friends." she shrugged and stood up, grabbing her PearPod off the speaker dock, she left the room.

Freddie sat there for ten minutes digesting what she had said and it finally sank in that she might have been telling the truth when she said all that.

Maybe he was just some guy she liked making out with randomly. This was Sam after all, she hadn't been looking for any real relationships since she dated Pete. What was he expecting, that she'd fall into his arms and tell him how much she loved him? That wasn't Sam.

It had to be this way, he had to move on from Sam and get over whatever fascination he had for the blond.

With this decided he went back down to his birthday party.

**

* * *

Panda Note**: OMG this took FOREVER!!!! I'm so glad I finally got it done though! This is the longest chapter so far, so I hope I get a lot of awesome reviews before I post the next chapter, which will hopefully be in a few days. Don't worry about the love birds, things always work out but you'll have to wait and see!

Oh and I got to clear something up about this chapter and others. Mrs. Benson didn't know about Nathan being adopted until much later in their relationship. He never liked to talk about it, only Sarah knew and she never told anyone. So if you get confused about that video thing where Sarah is asking Mrs. Benson about Nathan well there ya go, she didn't know that he was adopted at that time. Hopefully that clears up anything I might have goofed on. I've had to fix a lot of things to make sure the story flows right.

Also I have a poll on my profile about what Sarah should look like. There are links to pictures of Sarah, if you scroll down. Look at them and vote! This is just for fun. I might have another poll soon too so keep checking.

I want to hear from you lot, so **REVIEW!!!**

Oh and if there's any grammar errors I'll be going back to edit them later, so no worries!


	10. Sam's New Job

**Disclaimer**: I once owned Spencer, but that was just a dream that I didn't want to wake up from *wink wink*. But sadly he went away and now I'm back to writing this story.

**Chapter Nine

* * *

**

A few weeks had passed since Freddie's party, which had gone on until about two in the morning. Freddie had called it a night early though and left for home. He made sure not to go find Sam, who had become scarce after their upstairs encounter. Carly had ended up making out with the Trig guy, whose name was still unknown. She hadn't really mentioned him at all but Freddie suspected that they were going out.

When he got home his mom wasn't there, she'd been taking a lot of open shifts at night. Come to think of it he hadn't seen her much in the past week either.

As he sat in his living room staring off into space he began to think about the events of the night of his party. How Sam had basically said she was only using him. Did it bother him at all? If he was expecting an answer from the ceiling then he was surely disappointed by the silence.

It was strange not seeing Sam as much as he had before. Maybe that was for the best too, it gave him time to think about what he had done and how he was going to handle the situation.

Carly had filled him in on the happenings in Sam's life though, which he was grateful for. It was just funny that he lived right across the hall from her and he saw her only at rehearsal and Friday night when they did the show. Supposedly she'd applied for a job at her father's place of business. He'd decided to move his job back to the recording studio he'd started up years ago and left to his workers to run while he lived in Vancouver.

Roger and Sam seemed to be hitting it off from what he was told. A few times he'd hear her coming back from one of her outings with him and she seemed like she had an okay time. Whenever he'd go over to see Carly or Spencer she'd already be up in her room avoiding him or at work.

Spencer didn't seem too put off with the obvious awkwardness but he showed some sympathy for the young man. But he had to think of Sam's happiness and what was best for her. He found this to be quite difficult to do when what was best for her was standing outside his door knocking.

Freddie entered the loft and plopped down on the couch. Even the couch smelled like Sam and that just made it worse. Shaking his head he looked over at Spencer who was taking out cream cheese from their packages.

"What are you making, Spence?" he asked getting up and going over to him. There were at least fifty different wrappers on the ground as well as other random things. Spencer had all the cream cheese in a strangely large bowl mixed with food coloring.

"Bagel Palace on eighty ninth asked me to make them a bagel sculpture, but it's got to be bright red and I've only got two days to get it done." He answered and began to mix up the food coloring and cream cheese together.

"Sounds cool?" he shrugged and leaned against the island.

"It's going to look as good as my butter sculpture, Toasty one never had a chance." he sighed and went back to his mixture.

"Does Sam know about you working on this?"

"I've already informed her that this whole house has to stay cold for the next two days. Everyone knows now so hopefully nothing goes wrong." Just as he said this, the bowl slipped from his grasp but luckily Freddie caught it. "Thanks Freddo!"

"No problem." he looked around. "So where's Carly and Sam?" he asked feeling awkward about asking.

"Carly is upstairs watching videos in the studio and Sam's at work." he stopped working for a second and looked thoughtful. "You know, it's still feels weird to say 'Sam's at work' and actually mean she's somewhere working." he laughed and got back to his sculpture.

Freddie found Carly sitting on a beanbag chair with her laptop in her lap. She looked up when he entered and snapped it shut.

"Good, you're here." she said and got up. He must have looked concerned because she tried to not seem so suspicious. "Don't worry you fluffy little head; come sit down, we need to have a talk."

He considered darting for the door but the look in her eyes told him that it wasn't such a good idea. Past experiences with the brunette told him that she could be just as dangerous as Sam if she wished to be.

Reluctantly he worked his way across the room and took a seat.

"What's this about?" he grumbled already having a feeling about what she wanted to talk about.

"Don't get sassy. I'm allowed to pester my two friends when they stop talking for three weeks. Three weeks, Freddie! How is that even possible? I want to know what happened that caused this, from what I remember you two looked pretty cozy the day of your party." she gave him a suggestive look which caused him to roll his eyes.

"If I tell you will you stop bothering me about it?" he caved.

Sam was going to kill him if she ever found out what he was about to do.

"Yes, I won't ask you ever again about this." she sat up straight and put her full focus on him. He coughed uncomfortably and looked anywhere but at her. "Well tell me what's been going on with you guys." she prodded while he slumped lower into his beanbag chair.

"Honestly I don't really know. Things have just been crazy and weird."

"Come on Freddie just start from the beginning."

"I'll give you the basics because I don't want to go into details, you're her best friend and that would be weirder." he sighed and rubbed his eyes.

"Okay, that's fine." she nodded.

"You can't tell Sam that I told you this because we both agreed to keep it to ourselves and never talk about it or anything."

"I won't tell her anything."

"We kissed that night she told everyone she never kissed anyone before." he blurted out and then covered his eyes.

"I had a feeling." she smiled.

"What? Really?" he looked a bit surprised.

"Yeah, over the past year and a half I've noticed a few things with you guys and that it all changed after that night." she concluded.

"But see that's just it, the kiss didn't change us like some cheesy love story." he straightened up a bit and folded his arms. "We went on hating each other just like we promised that night. But I knew that I was still 'in love' with you around that time so it took a while for me to snap out of it."

"That ill-fated date we went on?" she raised an eyebrow.

"Oh yeah, that was an eye-opener. At least I got over it and now we're better friends for it. But the point is that I didn't like Sam right away. It just happened over time and I didn't want to believe that I did but I just do." he shrugged.

"Even when she's calling you names and arguing with you?" she asked, though she sort of knew the answer.

"I wouldn't change a thing about it." he smiled a little. "Besides I like fighting with her most times."

"I figured you did otherwise you'd just walk away." she then pulled out a notepad and skimmed through a few pages. Freddie was sitting there wondering what was up with it. "So when did you realize that you like her as more than a friend?"

"It's hard to say, I think I realized it a few days before her mother died but then I didn't acknowledge it until a week after that."

"How many times have you two kissed?"

"Carly!" he whined with a surprised look on his face. "That's too personal; I think I've answered enough of your questions."

"Okay, sorry. One more question?" she batted her eyes at him and knew it might half work now as apposed to before when all she had to say was 'Please, for me'.

"Fine, what?"

"What are you going to do about all this mess?"

He sat there for a moment and wondered how he would answer that. Things had been pretty bad and he really missed Sam, even her abuse.

"I don't know, she keeps skipping out before I can talk to her."

"She's been doing the same to me. I did manage to get her alone once but she threatened to cut off my hair in my sleep and I wasn't going to lose sleep for that."

"What should I do?"

"You have to go talk to her, Freddie. You're the only person I've ever known to withstand her abuse and still want to be around her. Spencer and I don't count since she doesn't really abuse us." she nodded in agreement to herself.

"She's always gone when I come over and when she gets home she rushes inside before I get a chance to talk to her."

"Go to her work. She's going to be there for three more hours and it's not that far from here." she pulled out a piece of paper and scribbled down a few things and then leaned over and handed the paper to him. "Go there and tell security this word and they'll let you back. Sam gave me the 'password' so if I ever want to go visit I can get in."

"What should I say to her?"

"Just try to get her friendship back, explain yourself to her as best you can without angering her too much."

"That's going to be kind of hard but I'll try."

"You know Freddie." she started and he returned his attention to her. "I'm really hoping you guys end up together. It just fits right and I know that you're the only one who can balance her out. She needs you more than she'll ever admit and I know that she does care about you. Just don't give up on her."

"I can't." he smiled. "Whether she likes it or not she's going to admit that she has feelings for me."

"Someone sounds sure of himself."

"That's the Freddie way." he smirked. "And don't say 'I thought the Freddie way was jam on a toasted bagel'." he pointed a finger at her.

She just laughed as he left for the studio in which Sam's father owned.

**

* * *

**

The dimly lit room was illuminated by the room attached with the glass window. Two blonds sat side by side watching as the music artist sang the line twenty more times. Each time it got a little better but Sam was getting annoyed having to listen to bits of the song like this. She hadn't really heard of the band Roger was managing but he said they were a great group who deserved more exposure and would make it big.

She had to admit she agreed, they were very random yet had a good sound that she would definitely listen to.

"How much longer are they going to do this?" she whined and slumped into the chair never to Roger.

"As long as it takes; it has to be just right for the album."

"But they all sounded perfect." she countered frowning at Roger.

"To the untrained ear, it would seem so." He smirked.

"How can you even tell when it's off if all the takes sound _the same_?" she complained.

"Alright I'll leave you in charge then. You have them sing the song all the way through and listen to it very closely and you tell me how it sounds." he suggested and folded him arms.

"Fine." she stated and stood up and walked into the studio where the band was.

"Yo, Sam-O." one of the band members said nodding to her.

"Yo," she replied with a nod back. "Alright Roger had left me in charge for a bit and wants me to have you guys do a whole run-through of the song so that we can figure out if it needs to be fixed and such." she informed them and folded her arms. "Just pretend that you're performing for a crowd of screaming fans who want to rip your clothes off." she smirked and they all laughed.

She stepped out and found that Roger had left the sound room. Turning on the intercom she told them to get ready while she pushed up a few of the sound modifiers on the soundboard.

"Okay we'll start in 3, 2, 1…" she pressed record and the band began to play. Roger had spent two weeks teaching her as much as possible about the mixing console before her. This was just another lesson for her to learn about.

The music flowed for three minutes and fifty six seconds. It sounded alright to her and she stopped the recording once they were done with the song.

"How was that?" the female lead singer asked as her bandmates sat back and chilled.

"That was just fine, I'll go get Roger so he can continue recording with you guys in a bit. Why don't you take five?" she suggested and left the room and headed out into the hall.

Roger was standing in front of a candy machine rubbing his light stubble.

"Decisions, decisions." he mumbled looking at each row of treats. "Hey kid." he acknowledged her as she stood beside him at the candy machine.

"Hey, they're taking a break so when you get back you can continue doing whatever it is you do."

"How'd it go?" he asked with his eyes falling onto a delicious chocolate bar on the far left.

"It sounded fine to me but you'll probably say it's not right." she shrugged and pushed him over to get some chips from the bottom.

"Hey! I was just about to come to a decision!" he whined at his petite daughter who bent over to grab her chips from the lip of the machine.

"Took too long old man." she smirked and opened the bag up.

"Now it's 'old man'?" he pouted. "I'm not that old!"

"In my world you are." she grinned.

He ignored her and went back to picking a chocolate bar from the left side. Once he decided on it he pressed the buttons and received his delicious treat.

"I'll go listen to the track and see how it sounds, then I want you to take it apart and analyze when you go home. That'll be your assignment for the weekend."

"Not cool." she grumbled and followed him back into the studio. "Who gives their kids _homework_?"

"Oh so you're my kid now?" he laughed.

"As much as it pains me, I suppose so."

"Aren't you precious?" he laughed harder and sat down in his nice comfortable chair.

"As a new born babe." she stated sarcastically while he messed with the mixing console.

The song filled the room they were in while the band filed back into the isolation or soundproof room as Roger liked to call it. He nodded at a few parts while shaking his head and scrunching up is eyebrows, she made sure to pay close attention to his reactions.

"Well some parts of this came out alright but there are a bunch of sections that need to be redone."

"Seriously?" her eye twitched slightly.

"Oh yeah and you've got to figure out which ones those are."

"That requires work that I don't want to do."

"This is your job Sam, what am I paying you for if you can't do this?"

"Uh…being cute?" she smirked.

"Nice try but no, you'll learn this and be a contributing member to the team while you're working here. That was our deal, remember?"

"I know that, but it also means I have to learn all this nerd stuff."

"It isn't nerd stuff."

"Oh yeah it is, I don't even know what this button is but I bet it has some crazy nerd name that takes an hour to explain." she pointed at a random button.

"That's just the Bass button, silly." he rolled his eyes.

"I knew that, I was just testing you."

"Sure."

"I think it's about time to call it a day."

"You've got thirty minutes kid. Besides the band needs to do their final take for today."

"Damn." she snapped her finger and leaned against the table away from the mixing console.

Freddie smiled at their interaction and backed into the hall and leaned against the wall. He'd been there for ten minutes and just watched the two talk while the band set up again to finish for the day.

"Do I seriously have to do _homework_ for work?"

"If you want to make it in this business you've got to learn all you can."

"But you already know what I want to do."

"I know and I can't wait until you go through with it but you might want to learn some _nerd skills_ too."

"I'll just leave that to you."

"So when do you start your classes?"

"Obviously not until after high school, but classes start in August."

"Well see; you'll have all that free time to work here."

"I told you I would if it meant I was getting paid. I can't live with Spencer forever and I can't stay in Seattle forever either."

"Why not?"

"'Cause." she shrugged.

"That's a horrible reason."

"It's my reason."

"Bah." he grunted and went back to the band. "Guys we'll need to try that one again, start from 'something went wrong' and we'll call it a night afterward." he spoke through the intercom. The group nodded and picked up the beat for that part of the song. It sounded just like the other twelve takes of it, to Sam.

"Can I go now?"

"Why are you being so impatient today kid?"

"I got bid'ness to take care of."

"More shady dealings?" he joked.

"When don't I?" she laughed. "I have some stuff I gotta do, besides tonight is iCarly." she shrugged.

"I've been watching, you seem off, everything cool?"

"I suppose, just your average teen problems."

"Like boy troubles?"

"Look who's trying to be a concerned parent. That's so cute!" She mocked and rolled her eyes.

"Hey! I can be concerned." he pouted.

"It's nothin' that I can't take care of…"

"Is it about young Mr. Freddie?"

"What?"

"Oh come now Samantha, I may be a crummy old man but I'm more perceptive then you think I am."

"I never said you were a crummy father." she gave him a weird look. "But Benson isn't the problem." she sighed.

"Then what is it?"

"It's me." she sarcastically chuckled.

"Ah." he nodded in understanding, even though Freddie didn't quite get it. So it wasn't his fault? Why would any of it be Sam's fault? He was more confused then ever but decided to just not bother to go down that angst filled road again. He was here to make things right.

"You know," started Roger with a new tone to his voice. "Pride only gets you so far before you realize you've made the biggest mistake of your life."

She looked up and raised an eyebrow at the shaggy blond next to her.

"What the cheese was that? Are you some guru when it comes to life now?"

"I'm old, so therefore I have more experience in life, you could take a page or two from my book."

"No, I'm good."

Then the band stopped and Roger finished recording.

"Great work today guys!" he cheered from his side of the window. They all slapped fives with each other and called it a day.

"So now you're going to do all that crazy tech stuff that you do and make an awesome song from all those takes?"

"Something like that. Now that I've got the recordings I can do the rest on my CPU at home."

"Exciting." it was clear though that she didn't really find it that thrilling.

"You're such a delight to be around, you know that?" he bit back with a smirk.

"I've been told this." she nodded. "I can't help how awesome I am."

"Just get outta here you little creep. Go do your homework." he laughed as she exited the room.

"I'll catch ya later Roger." she called and headed down the hall toward the security station. She'd become friendly with the older man who kept watch on all the happenings at the studio.

"Sam, you leavin' for the night?" he asked as she approached the desk.

"Yep, I've got a show to go do."

"iCarly? I love that show."

"I know, you told me last week remember?"

"Oh yeah." he chuckled. "Oh your friend was here but left."

"Carly?"

"No, a young man actually."

Sam frowned and bid the man a good night before going out into the chill of the Seattle night. What she found was a dork leaning against the fall next to the door.

"We need to talk Sam." he said and looked over at her. She sent him a glare but didn't try to escape having this conversation. She figured he'd come around soon and want to change her mind.

"Well, speak." she said and started walking toward her truck a block away. He got the point and joined her for the walk.

"Look, I know that you hate talking about things but can we just go back to being friends?"

"I thought we weren't friends?"

"I've told you many times that you're my friend." he snapped.

"Don't get your panties in a bunch there Benson. Fine, we can try to go back to being friends but no funny business." she warned and gave him a hard look.

"Deal." he grinned and followed her to her truck. She opened the passenger side and threw her bag in.

"I've got something I have to do so I'll see you at the iCarly studio in an hour okay?" she told him and walked to the driver's side.

"Alright, see you there." he smiled and practically skipped back to his car, except that he really didn't. He didn't know he'd be this happy about having Sam back. If someone had told him three years ago that he'd actually like the girl he'd have laughed in their face and suggested signing themselves into an asylum.

* * *

Carly and Spencer were covered in cream cheese when Freddie returned. He learned not to ask them why years ago. It was a normal occurrence at the Shay house to be found in strange situations.

"Oh hey Freddo, did you make up with Sam?" Spencer asked adding a more cream cheese to part of the feet of the sculpture.

"Yeah, we're cool." he shrugged and sat at the island.

"Were there any _confessions_?" joked Carly giving him a suggestive look. He rolled his eyes at this and shook his head. "What about the Freddie way?" she asked.

"You mean jam on a toasted bagel?" Spencer asked looking up from the unfinished bagel figure.

"No Spence that's the Freddie breakfast way." informed Carly who giggled.

"No I didn't, yet. I need time." he replied, ignoring the two siblings comments.

"Well you'd better find a way and fast before someone else does." she hinted.

"What are you talking about?" he asked his friend.

"Freddie, you've got to know that there are boys who find Sam attractive." she stated in a matter-of-fact tone.

He glared at her and pierced his lips.

"So you finally admit you loooove her." Spencer grinned.

"What? I never said…" Freddie sputtered.

"Sam and Freddie sitting in a banana tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g….." started Spencer but shut up once he saw the look Freddie was giving him. "What? There's some lovin' going on and you've at least embraced that you like the girl."

"I don't want to talk about it guys."

"Alright, fine."

Just as six forty-five rolled around Sam entered the loft and hurried to get out of her coat and made her way to the stairs.

"Hey kiddo!" called Spencer from the kitchen. She stopped her ascend up the stairs and turned to him.

"Hey Spence." she greeted and went over to where he was.

"How was work?" he asked from behind the counter.

"He gave me homework! Can you believe that?" she complained and leaned against the island.

"Are you going to do it?" he gave her his trademark smile.

"I have to, even though I'd rather date Gibby then do it."

"I heard Gibby was taken." he replied.

"Yeah well anything is better than having to do homework. It's so stupid."

"But you're learning a lot."

"About nerd stuff; what good will that do in culinary arts?"

"Nothing I guess, but it's always good to learn new things. Who knows you might end up liking it."

"I doubt it. Roger wants me to take this whole song apart and listen to each bit and find the parts that would have to be redone in the studio."

"See, that's good for you in many ways." he commented with a knowing look in his eyes. She hated it when Spencer did this just as much as she hate when Roger would too.

"I don't see how."

"Exactly." he nodded looking as though he were so wise.

"That's so invasive Spence." she frowned.

"If you don't know then I'm not going to tell you kiddo."

"Feh, whatever, I got to get up for the show." she ran up the stairs then to join her two friends.

When she found them they were both doing their usual rituals to prepare. Carly looked like she was about to burst from her own skin with worry. Freddie didn't seem as bothered by her being 'late' by Carly standards. He was going over last minute checks on all his opened software.

"Look who barely made it." commented Carly pacing back and forth, drinking her water like a blue whale out of the ocean.

"Take it easy there Carls; I wasn't going to be late." she went to her friend and took the bottle from her surprisingly strong grip.

"We have seven minutes until show time, what were you doing?"

"Well I got here like ten minutes ago but Spencer started talking to me and saying weird things I don't understand. Him and Roger were both being all 'if you have to ask, then you'll never know' or something and I have no idea what they are trying to say." she scratched her head as she ranted while Carly sighed.

"It's fine, just let me know when you're on your way so I don't freak out."

"You'd freak out even if I texted you half an hour before show time." grinned Sam.

"Okay guys one minute!" Freddie called from is cart as he go the camera ready. The room was less tense as he said this with a smile. Carly noticed this and smiled as well which caused Sam to do the same. It seemed to Carly that her two friends were getting along again, for them at least. She wasn't expecting any kind words or loving embrace but it was apparent that the danger was out of sight.

She just wondered when the two would finally get together and be done with all the drama. Maybe it was time for 'Operation: Seddie' to go underway. She mentally reminded herself to talk with her other 'conspirators' about it later.

* * *

After the show Sam did a happy dance and headed for the door, she looked like a young woman on a mission.

"Where you headed to?" Carly asked picking up after their scuba segment. There were goggles, flippers and a tub of pudding still laying around.

"To get Freddork's laptop of course." she grinned. She then opened the door and headed out.

"No Sam you can't just take it out of my room!" Freddie whined.

"Sure I can." she grinned and darted out of the studio.

Freddie sighed and followed after her. Their brunette friend grinned as she watched the two leave. It was about seven minutes later that she heard the two arguing as they headed back upstairs. From what she caught from the bits of words was that Sam had taken his expensive laptop and he was trying to reason with her to give it back. She on the other hand kept telling him that she'd take care of it.

One thing about Freddie was that he hated it when others touched his precious laptop.

When they entered Freddie was trying desperately to grab it from her but she blocked his hands and danced out of his reach.

"I promise I won't ruin it Fredweirdo. I have to use it."

"Why?" he finally caved, sort of.

"This one has the thing like Roger's audio editor and I have to do _homework_." she blotched.

"Then you have the wrong laptop Sam." he gave her a sour look.

"I thought it was this one." she tilted her head to the side and attempted to look innocent but he wasn't buying it.

"No, that one is my personal laptop, the one I use for iCarly has the audio editor on it." he folded his arms and waited for her to give his laptop back.

"Oh…" she looked thoughtful for a moment. She then looked down at the black laptop in her hands and back at him and then shoved it into his hands. He fumbled a bit but grasped it and held it close to him. "Then I'll use that one." she pointed to the one on his cart.

"Can you at least ask first?" he pouted.

"Why?" she gave his a smirk and then grabbed his other laptop. "I need it." she stated and then went into her little room leaving her two friends in the studio.

"She's actually doing work?" he said still staring off after her.

"It seems so." Carly muttered also looking at where Sam was currently. They could both see her sitting on her bed with her headphones on and plugged into the laptop. She even had a note page and was writing things down and looked as though she were concentrating. This was something that the two hardly got to see.

They both headed toward her and Carly knocked on the side of the wall. She looked up and motioned for them to come in. The two took seats on either side of her and both looked puzzled. Removing the headphones and pausing she set her notes aside and looked back at them.

"What?" she asked in classic Sam form.

"You're actually working that's what." Carly said grinning.

"Well if I want to make money then I actually have to do it, even though I'd rather do anything else."

"It can't be all bad; you get to listen to music all day long."

"Not really." she started. "Do you know what goes on in a recording studio?" she asked her best friend who shook her head. "You don't just have the band play the song once and call it a day. Oh no, you have to sit through the same lines over and over until you've got like a million takes of the same line of a song. Then after all that there's still the assembly of the pieces and editing, it's ridiculous!" she fumed and huffed glaring down at her notepad.

"So what does Roger want you to do?" Carly asked, while Freddie stayed silent and just looked at Sam's face. He'd missed seeing her face for the past three weeks. She seemed unaware of his eyes taking in all the details of her mouth, eyes, nose, and eyebrows. It amazed him that he never noticed the little details of her face. The words of Carly Shay floated to the front of his mind and he frowned, other boys knew how attractive Sam was and if the right one happened to come along his plans were doomed.

"He wants me to analyze this song and pick the parts that are going to need to be redone. So I have to manipulate the sound and find the wrong tones. Awesome, right?" she stated sarcastically folding her arms.

"Very awesome," Carly replied not really finding it too awesome. "What have you finished so far?" she leaned over and picked up Sam's notes.

"I'm at the second line of the beginning of the song; '_and the water that ran out of eroded on your face pained me too'." _she read and frowned. "The song is great it's just now I can't really enjoy it."

"This looks like a good song. Can I hear it or are you not allowed to share it with anyone?"

"I'm not allowed to upload it or anything but you can listen to it. She pulled out the headphones and stated the song back to the beginning. It started out with a nice little 'tingle' sound and then the female vocals came into play. The first few lines were amazing and then the chorus chimed in. Carly really liked this song and couldn't really see anything wrong with it.

"This song is great; I couldn't even hear anything wrong with it."

"Exactly!" Sam threw her hands up in the air. "How the buttermilk pancakes am I supposed to find the wrong parts?"

"Good luck." laughed Carly who then excused herself for the evening.

The two remaining sat in silence for five minutes while Sam continued to play back each line of the song until she got a little part finished. Once she changed out the levels and tones she could see that they were a bit off in the flow of the song. After the fifth line she threw in the towel and put the laptop to the side.

Freddie had been completely silent for those long fifteen minutes and when she looked up she found him looking at her thoughtfully.

"Yo, Fredwod, what are you looking at?" her eye twitched slightly when he just continued to stare. She knew the dangers of being close to him and in her room as well.

"Huh?" he asked snapping out of his thoughts and joining her.

"What's will you?"

"Oh I was just trying to find the spots where the song was wrong." he blurted out.

"Right, well I think I've had enough of it for one night."

"So I can have my laptop back?" he asked hopeful of such a thing happening.

"No, I need it for later. I won't rub tuna between the keys or feed it cheese, I swear."

"I really hope not." he pouted.

"You want to watch more videos?" she asked suddenly.

"I don't know, after what happened last time I don't think I can handle anymore surprises."

"Where's your sense of adventure, Freddo?" she prodded, smirking at him with hooded eyes.

"I lost it the last time we did this." he wasn't sure what the 'this is' was that he referred to but he didn't care.

"Let's just watch them, I'm curious about what else might be on those tapes."

"I think it's a bad idea."

"Don't you want to get to know your dad better?" she could see him changing his position of the topic.

"Fine but if it get's too weird like the last one we're shutting it off." he bargained.

"That's alright, well get over here. We'll just watch them on here." she pushed the laptop toward him to have him start the next video on the list.

They both lie down on their stomachs; shoulder to shoulder, leaning into the screen as the video started up.

Nathan was the first thing they saw, he was much younger, probably seventeen or so and he was grinning at the camera person.

"Guess what I got?" he was filled with joy as he worked his way over to the person controlling the camera.

"You got another rash on your butt?" laughed Sarah which earned her a glare from her best friend.

"If you keep that up then I guess I'll have to find someone else to share this with." he then turned and started walking away.

"I was kidding, tell me what you go." she followed him down what looked like a courtyard at an old high school.

"Nope, you gotta guess." he grinned, back to being happy.

"If I do that I'll just end up insulting you and that will get us nowhere; so tell me already." she growled.

"Who is our favorite band of all time?" he smirked and she gasped behind the camera and seemed to have almost dropped it.

"No freakin' way!" she stated gleefully.

"Way!" he said with just as much glee.

"Wait, so are you telling me that you got tickets to the show they're doing in Vancouver? I thought they were sold out?"

"I know people." he smirked, looking way too cocky.

"Knowing the guy who works at Ticketmasters doesn't really count, you know."

"Sure it does." he pouted. "He gives me great seats for cheap prices."

"So let me get this straight, you got hard to get tickets and are going to the show, why are you telling me this?"

He stopped walking and looked at her as if she were insane.

"Are you serious?"

"Uh, yeah."

"Hello, you love Metallica! Who else would I be taking?" he rolled his eyes.

"Your girlfriend for instance."

Nathan raised an eyebrow at Sarah though he was just looking at the camera.

"She hates Metallica, remember? It's not her scene and if things were to get bad she'd flip out in the mash pit."

"Oh yeah," she laughed. "I can't really picture mild mannered, sweet, slightly crazy Marissa in a mash pit or head-banging for that matter."

"So you see why I have the tickets for us?"

"Is it cool with her if we go together?"

"Why wouldn't it be? It was her idea anyways."

"Well then you don't have to tell me twice, I'm so in!"

"That's better!" he laughed.

Then Sarah came into the shot along side Nathan and the both started to sing together in a dramatic sort of way to their favorite song.

"Master of puppets I'm pulling your strings…" started Nathan rocking on his air guitar.

"Twisting your mind and smashing your dreams. Blinded by me, you can't see a thing…" wailed Sarah.

"Just call my name, `cause I'll hear you scream! Master! Master! Just call my name, `cause I'll hear you scream! Master! Master!" finished Nathan through up his finger horns.

"I'm so excited I don't think I'll make it through the day." she grinned into the camera. He glanced over at her and laughed.

"You'll have to we've got three classes to go, then a nice long drive there."

"I knew there was a downside to this awesome news."

"What?"

"I'll be stuck in a car with you forever!" she complained.

"Then you can just stay here and I'll ask Roger to go with me."

"What? No! He doesn't deserve to go."

"And you do?"

"Yeah I'm your best friend and you know I love Metallica."

"But you're a demon spawn who's always mean to me."

"But I'm still your friend and you put up with me."

"I suppose." he sighed and the video cut.

Sam pushed pause for a second and looked over to Freddie who was still staring at the video.

"How was that? Safe?" she asked pushing her shoulder into his.

"I suppose, but now all I can see is them flirting!" he said sourly.

"It's fine; they were friends at that time."

"But…" he stopped himself from going into a conversation that he really wasn't ready for. "Fine, let's watch another one and then I need to get home." he reached over and pressed play again and settled back next to her.

For once they were comfortable just being near one another, yet still felt the pull toward each other. That wasn't going away but Freddie decided to keep his hands to himself.

On the screen Nathan was leaning over an open hood of a car. He was wearing a faded black t-shirt and dirty jeans. He scratched the back of his head and began messing around inside the car.

"So when did you become such an expert on cars?"

"It's one of the things my dad managed to teach me out of all the useless." he shrugged and returned his attention to the car.

"What's the problem?"

"Gas leak and the spark plugs need to be replaced."

"Wow, you make car fixing seem so dorky." she joked.

"If Roger were doing this you'd think it was manly." he stated scowling over his shoulder.

"Well yeah, cause he's super manly, motorcycle and everything." he just rolled his eyes and went back to the problem at hand.

"Will you just be quiet for once? I'm trying to concentrate."

"Wow Fredward your dad was awesome." she drooled and he choked on air.

"Sam, that's my dad, geez!"

"What? Can I help it if he's awesome?"

"Please, be quiet." he frowned and looked back at the screen.

Sarah moved closer and you could see that they were in the middle of nowhere. In the distance you could see large crops of corn and far off nothing but the sky.

"How long are we going to be out here?" Sarah complained, getting closer to Nathan.

"It's going to take a bit, I have to go up the street and get new spark plugs and a thing of oil."

"Then let's go!" she cheered and held her camera closer to her while still pointing it at Nathan.

"Let me go lock up everything and then we can go."

"Do you think we'll make it in time for the show?"

"Yeah I timed it out right, so we're making good time as it is."

"When I think that your nerdiness has reached its peak you have to go and say things like that and make it higher."

"Oh you are a nerd too, on your good days."

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Shut that thing off and put it away so we can go." he grumbled and walked over to the passenger side.

The video cut and then another started up. At first it was hard to tell what was going on. It was clear that Nathan was holding the camera and running down a street toward a bus that wasn't moving. From the angle it was easy to tell that the streets were packed. Marissa was calling his name, telling him to wait up. He made it to the bus and banged on the doors. You could hear wailing coming from inside, a woman. Whatever she said made the bus driver open the doors. Nathan worked his way on followed by his wife and Roger who was bringing up the rear. The only reason they knew the two were there was their voices behind Nathan.

What they found was Sarah in the back of the bus, clinching her round belly and groaning in pain.

"Seriously Nathan do we need to video tape this one?" she shouted at him and he laughed nervously.

"Sorry but it's one of those moments you'll want to look back on." he wasn't sorry at all.

Roger pushed past Nathan to go to Sarah who glared at him to.

"This is your entire fault!" she punched him but he didn't mind he stayed right there by her side. Marissa was next; she went to grasp poor Sarah's hand.

"It's going to be okay, we'll get you to the hospital, even if Roger and Nathan have to carry you all the way there."

"I don't think we're going to have time Marissa." cried Sarah who looked like she was about to pass out.

Marissa did a few inspections of her friend and found that she was right, the baby was ready to come out and there was no waiting for this one.

"I can do this." Marissa said as she positioned herself before Sarah and blocked off Nathan's view of the actual 'birth'.

Marissa kept coaching her friend, telling her to push and giving her comforting words, natural childbirth was very painful. It seemed like hours, but really only thirty minutes, it seemed that her contractions had started earlier that day and then her water broke half way to the bus stop. She had no other choice but to get on and take it to the hospital.

Then there was silence.

Everyone was frantic as Marissa held a little baby in her arms, a silent baby.

"What's wrong with her?" Sarah shrieked, having a nervous breakdown. Marissa turned the baby upside down on her arms and started performing CPR for two minutes, when suddenly there was loud screaming inside the small bus.

"Welcome to the world, Samantha." muttered Nathan to the camera and the baby in Sarah's arms.

The two teens watching the video gaped like a walrus in a toupee. They both went for the stop button at the same time and their fingers touched over the key. Their hands didn't move from that spot as their eyes moved toward one another.

The burning in Freddie's eyes caused Sam to almost choke on air. How was this supposed to work out if every small touch made the two want to jump the other's bones?

"I don't care if you just want to use me physically, I really want to kiss you right now." he stated in a husky voice that caused her heart to pound through her veins.

"Nothing can come of it, we're friends."

"Who make out?" he smirked.

"Exactly." she confirmed and shot her head towards his and found his lips. Any ideas of normal friendship were shot out the window. Sam knew it was foolish to think she'd be about to resist this amazing rush she got from him. He was fine with it and so was she, but it couldn't go on forever. They had three months of school and the summer together, after that they'd be parting and he'd find another girl to share this with.

She pushed those thoughts away and put more force into their kiss. Who knew when they'd get another chance to get lost in their own world again?

Freddie moved so that he was leaning over her slightly while she gripped onto the front of his t-shirt. He bit down lightly on her lips and received a groan of pleasure from Sam.

"You…are…" she started between kisses and moans. "…this…is…"

"Amazing." he finished and pushed her down on the bed. "I don't care how you feel about me, I don't even care what happens after this…" he groaned out as he nipped her neck and she arched towards him.

"Just shut up and kiss me you idiot!" she shouted at him and flipped him onto his back.

What they didn't realize was that Carly had returned to check on them and was standing out in the studio grinning like a moron. 'Part one: complete' she thought to herself and left.

**

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Panda Note**: Alright people here was a little something for ya. Now before you get all in a frenzy, just know that these two aren't 'together' in that way. But they've come to an understanding, if you understand that's great! It isn't over yet, trust me! It's going to get fun, I hope. I have a few plans for the next chapters and I'm really hoping to get lots of reviews for this. So don't let this panda down.

Also I've got to say to every single person who reviewed, you guys are just the best! I have yet to get flamed, though I can't remember ever being flamed on here, yet. I don't want to jinx myself but I fear I already have.

**To the people I can't reply to in private message**:

**Seddie101**: Yo!! I wish I could send you a message but you've got it disabled, but it's cool. Thanks for the review!! I know right? What's up with this girl!? :P

**robbie84**: I have, I hope you enjoyed it!

**ChelseaC**: Thank you for that, I'm glad you enjoyed it and said that. I makes me want to write more for you and everyone! :D

If I missed anyone I'm sorry! I'll update soon, got a busy day coming up blah!

**REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW**!!! Seriously! Do it!

Green Button!!

I'd love to hear your thoughts or suggestions. Predictions etc.


	11. Friends With Benefits

**Disclaimer:** Don't tell Sam but I don't like Ham, oh and I don't own it or her or anything to do with iCarly.

**Panda Note:** Hey! You! Yeah You! If you have any questions go to my profile, I try to keep it updated as much as possible. So if you want to know when I'll update next or just want to check out the stuff I have on there just go do it. There's a few links to other stuff and so on. Okay onto the story.

**Chapter Ten**

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It was mid March for the group and Sam's birthday was getting closer. It was surprising how much had happened in the few short months. Even with those events this one seemed to strike a nerve with the web personality. The iCarly cast sat in the Shay's living room with a frazzled Carly, who kept shooting crazed looks at the pair.

"I still don't understand." Carly stated continuing to pace back and forth in front of her coffee table while her two friends sat together on the couch watching her.

"What don't you get?" Sam asked raising an eyebrow at her best friend who looked like she was freaking out. When wasn't Carly freaking out? Sam couldn't begin to understand why Carly insisted on always putting herself in other peoples business, she thought herself.

"It's pretty much self explanatory." added Freddie folding his arms and relaxing into the couch, even though he wanted to say more.

The blond headed demon and the tech producer with dangerous hormones looked surprisingly nonchalant about the whole thing. Carly smiled internally and continued to play up her dramatic surprise. She had to play it up so they wouldn't get suspicious of her. She knew that it was all going according to plan, she could tell just by the spark in Sam's eyes. It was undeniable when it was staring you right in the face. She could tell that Freddie had already progressed to the next stage, but Sam was fighting against it.

"How did this even happen?" she asked already knowing the answer that question. The two must have realized that the past few months they'd done a few things in front of their friend and she'd ask about the meaning behind it. What were the two expecting anyway? She'd seen them pawing at one another on Freddie's birthday for goodness sakes. If they thought she'd leave it alone forever, they were dead wrong. Carly Shay always got the answers, even if she had to shake a few people down, not that she would but still.

"Does it matter? Besides its not like we're dating." stated Sam; who looked bored by the whole conversation, even though she was slightly annoyed at being bombarded.

"Then what would you call it then?" she snapped at her best friend. Maybe she should look into acting school, she thought to herself.

The pair on the couch looked at one another and seemed to be in one of their little silent conversations. Freddie shrugged then and Sam did as well.

"We're good friends who occasionally make out."

"Don't you think that's a bit dangerous?" she continued with her angry Carly voice.

"We both agreed to it Carls, so I don't really see a downside to it." Sam stated looking more bothered than before. She couldn't understand why Carly even cared what she and the dork did with their free time. She got used to it and didn't want to attach herself, even though she sort of already did.

"Sam!" snapped the web personality. "Maybe once this whole 'making out' thing ends you guys won't be able to go back to being friends. Did you think about that?" She threw up her hands to express physically how agitated she was.

"Shay, chill, we've actually talked it all over and have it worked out. Don't worry your pretty little head."

Carly looked over at Freddie who was slightly frowning to himself. It was clear that he just wanted a chance to be with the blond and this was the only way he saw that he could be. It made her even more determined to go through with her plans. She gave herself a mental pep talk and got back into character.

"You guys are basically dating, if you think about it." she pointed out flopping in the chair to their right.

"No we aren't." argued Sam.

"Oh yes you are." smirked Carly. "You guys are always together, you text nonstop and what did you guys do after the show last week?"

Sam and Freddie looked at each other confused.

"You went on a date!" she shouted, spazzing out.

"No we didn't."

"Yes you did."

"No we didn't."

"UGH!!" growled the brunette throwing up her hands in frustration. "You both went together to some concert the other night, didn't you?"

"Yeah but as friends." defended Freddie. He was going against her cause and she couldn't help but glare at him. She was trying to help him out and he had the nerve to side with the very person holding up progress? That ungrateful little nub! Not that he even knew that she was trying to help them but why wouldn't he just agree with her and not Sam for now?

She turned her attention to him and shot a dark look in his direction, she didn't even know it was possible. Carly wasn't ever good at being completely scary or vicious, but he actually flinched under her stare.

"Oh no, mister, it was a date, you two went out somewhere together, probably ate dinner, dessert, and then Freddie you walked Sam back home and kissed her good night. It was a date!" she dared them to deny it. They looked at her like she as insane and probably wondering how she even knew that they kissed each other goodnight outside the loft. The two didn't ask though and just let it go, opting to try and reason with Carly.

"Well I bought an extra ticket for you but you said you had a date so we just went. Besides you hate Mae." Sam stated completely ignoring Carly's rant about how the other night was a date. She made sure that it couldn't be linked to that word.

"I don't hate them, I just haven't heard their stuff." pouted Carly, who was internally grinning at her acting, she so could win an award for this performance. "Besides if you had asked I would have gone."

Two weeks ago the pair kissed again in Sam's room and unbeknownst to them Carly had seen. The week previous to this 'intervention' Sam had bought tickets to the upcoming Mae show and made sure to get three, so that it wouldn't be weird for just her and Freddie to go. Right before she was going to ask Carly if she wanted to go she told them that 'Trig guy' wanted to take her out after the show. So Sam shut up about the Mae show and didn't bother to mention it to Carly until they got back.

The entire week after that the two seemed closer than ever; it was hard not to notice the glances they passed each other in the halls or the secret smiles. Yet they still held up their circus act for the rest of the world. It was almost perfect, right down to pranks that were pulled between the two.

Carly knew of course, she was there when they were chewing off each other's faces. But it was so easy to see if you knew the two well enough. They were good though and not many people had caught on to them.

"Just give it up Carls!" snapped Sam who was giving her friend a dirty look. Someone was sure defensive.

"No." the brunette stared her blond friend down. "I don't think I will." she glared.

"I don't have to sit here and listen to you go on about something that is nothing. Especially when it's not even any of your business!" snapped Sam who stood and headed for the front door.

"Hey! We aren't done talking." snapped Carly. "Get back here!"

"Oh yes we are, I'm out." then the door slammed leaving Freddie all alone with the dreaded Carly Shay. When had Carly ever become 'dreaded'?

"Why did you go and do that Carly?" Freddie gave her an angry pout, which he was quite famous for. She could remember a time when he wouldn't get upset with her for snapping at Sam. But now he cared for Sam and was quick to defend her. It would have been cute if not for the fact that he was messing with her plans.

"You two are the most ridiculous pair I've ever known! You love her don't you?" she asked looking as though she were about to rip out her hair.

"I never said anything about love, what's with you Shay's and love anyway?" he was blushing though, which was a dead giveaway at least to her.

"You love her and you know it!" she grinned wanting to do a victory dance right then and there.

"I so don't want to have this conversation with you." He tried to brush it off but knew she wouldn't have any of that.

"I thought we were best friends." she pouted and batted her eyelashes in mock innocence.

"That's not going to work on me lady." he glared at her and squished his lips together.

"Darn, where did the good ol' days go?" she sighed and slumped back down into her chair. She used to be able to him to agree with her on anything and now he was his own 'man' and didn't have to.

"Why don't you just let us deal with our own problems?" he asked after she started to zone out. "We'll get where we need to be, it's just going to take some time."

"What about your feelings? Can you really just sit back while she says those things?"

"Of course not, but if I can have this part of her then it's worth it. Don't you understand?" he looked at her, begging her to understand.

"I'm trying Freddie but it just doesn't seem fair to you. Can you just be her 'toy' and 'friend' all in one and not feel like you're being used in some sense? Don't you want all of her and not just a little piece?"

"That's all I want! What do you think I should do?"

Yet again Freddie was played like a fiddle, Fiddle Freddie! She giggled manically in her mind and sighed outwardly. This wasn't the time for crazy sauce.

"Do you really want to know what I think you should do?" she raised an eyebrow. This was what she wanted to hear and he was eating right out of her hand. Brilliant!

"I asked didn't I?" he countered getting annoyed by her little games.

"Look Freddie, you're playing on Sam's turf now. So you need to play as dirty as she does when she wants to 'win'." she smirked and Freddie was growing concerned for the girl. Was it even possible for Carly Shay to seem….sinister? She had her moments when she'd cave and get underhanded, but this was against her own friend! Had the pair driven their poor friend insane with their constant fighting and their weird friendlastionship?

"What do you mean?" he looked like a lost puppy, a really cute one who just needed someone to walk him and pat his fluffy head. She giggled to herself at this and got back to her point.

"Do you remember when you handcuffed Sam to Gibby?"

"Yeah?" it sounded more like a question, as if it was insignificant to their current conversation.

"What did she say to you before she left?" she prodded.

He seemed to be in deep thought for a moment.

"She doesn't play for revenge, she plays to win." he muttered out with wide eyes. He could still remember that confident look in her eyes, the mischief behind them grinning at him with unspoken promises.

"Exactly, so you've got to play to win. You can't play on her terms otherwise you'll get nowhere. This isn't about being 'content' it's about being filled up completely and you can't do that by allowing her to use you."

"I suppose you're right."

"Sam has a jealous streak that most people don't know about. When it comes to friends it's mild because she's secure enough not to care, seeing as how she's got a limited amount of people she considers friends." she paused for a moment and took in his undivided attention. It was almost as though he were taking mental notes. "But with boys she's quick to assume that no boy would want to look her way. She's terribly unsure of herself when she takes notice of a guy. Like with Jonah, she couldn't believe he actually wanted to hang out with her. She thought he had some mental meltdown or something. When she started liking Pete she didn't think he'd like her how she was, which messed with her head. So she figured she'd turn into a Carly clone, which is something I feel terrible about."

"Why's that?"

"Because she has it in her head that I'm 'perfect' and that she somehow can't live up to that or be that, whatever that is. But honestly Sam is special and you know she is." she smiled at him and got this weird look on his face as he smiled. "If only she could see that for herself."

"She's not like other girls." he laughed at his memory of saying this at another time.

"Exactly!" she grinned. "But she can be a bit abrasive which puts people, especially males, off. She knows this but can't change who she is even if she tries."

"But she doesn't need to." frowned Freddie. He couldn't believe that it took him this long to realize that she was perfectly imperfect and he still had strong feelings for her.

"I know, I love Sam just as she is." smiled Carly, who practically glowed from saying this. "She's my soul sister." she mumbled. "She deserves someone who can love her just as she is. I just wish she could love herself enough to see how amazing she is."

"So what should I do?"

Carly frowned and felt her eye twitch. Had he completely missed her point from all the ranting she'd just done?

"Isn't it obvious?"

"Well not really…"

"As lame and cliché as this sounds you've got to make Sam think you'll move on, notice other girls, even if you don't really want to. She'll either pretend to not care or freak out or beat the crap out of the girl or you."

"Gee thanks! That's so helpful!"

"Do you want Sam to be yours?"

"That would be nice."

"Then you've got to play to win!" she shouted like a pumped up football coach.

Freddie wasn't sure how he should feel about this Carly sitting across from him. Part of him was just plain scared, the other was surprised by her advice. He decided to listen to whatever she had to say, if it meant winning over Sam. Then again he needed to talk to Spencer and get a male perspective on it.

**

* * *

**

The blue pickup truck pulled into a familiar residence. The blond driving stepped out and headed down the sidewalk towards the recording studio. She didn't have to work that day but she wasn't prepared to deal with Carly Shay quite yet. Her plan wasn't to come here at all but she couldn't find Spencer and he wasn't answering his phone. She needed to unload the problem known as Fredward Benson onto someone and Roger Puckett seemed just right. He wouldn't tell anyone what she said and she didn't really need to protect her reputation with him either.

Once inside she greeted the security guard and headed toward Roger's office. Since it was Sunday and about noon he would be eating lunch. How she would explain this to him, she didn't know but she had to try.

She didn't bother to knock when she reached his office door; she just walked right in and plopped down into the chair in front of his desk. He didn't look too bothered by this act either, since they usually shared meals in his office in the afternoons on the days she worked.

"Hey kid." he said after swallowing the BBQ wing he was munching on. She reached over and grabbed a few and started to eat as well. "So what do I owe this random visit?"

"Oh you know, in the neighborhood." she shrugged.

"You live twenty minutes away."

"So, can't I be in the neighborhood?" she frowned.

"I guess." he sighed and went back to eating. He could tell that she wanted to say something but needed a moment to pull it all together. He knew this because he was the same way. It was unlike her though to come to him if she had a problem, so this was a rare treat.

"I need to talk to someone and it can't be Carly or Fredley." she finally said putting the remains of the BBQ wings on his plate.

"I'm all ears." he made sure to look at her face so she knew that he was focusing on her. Eye contact was the best way to let he know that he was focusing just on her.

"I just want to say this out loud and get it out of the way, you know? I want to know that I made the right decision."

"What about?" he was really curious about what she needed to say, if it was what he thought it could be.

"You know about Freddie and me right?" she clearly was uncomfortable saying that in the same sentence, she cringed toward the end of it.

"Not really, I see him around here a lot more but I didn't think much about it." he shrugged.

"We're friends, well best friends, but don't tell anyone I said that. See he wants to be more than friends and trust me I want the same thing."

"So why not date the boy?"

"Because!" she snapped throwing her hands up in the air and huffing.

"That's not a good answer."

"I know but I can't be his anchor."

Roger sat there and looked into his daughter's eyes. The same blue eyes as his, with little bits of Sarah there as well. He could still remember when she was little and always seemed to get herself in trouble with Marissa. Or her and Freddie getting into all sorts of wacky situations, that were just too adorable.

"How on earth would you be his anchor?"

She ran a hand over her face and then looked down at the desk.

"Something I don't think you know about Fredward Benson is that he has a plan." she started and looked up. Roger seemed to be processing all of this. "He's worked for years to get the best grades and pretty much loaded that large head of his with as much crud as he could. He even got accepted into a bunch of universities, the really good ones." she prattled, privately proud of her little nerd. "Just like he always planned."

"So what does this plan entail?"

"Going to the best school, getting through collage and having an amazing job and one of those families with the white picket fence and 2.5 kids, whatever that means."

"What does that have to do with you kiddo?"

"I don't fit into that plan at all and I can't."

"Why not?"

She growled at this and tightened her hold on the sides of her chair. Why couldn't he just agree like he should and leave it at that?

"I'd be the anchor." she stated again as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

"I don't understand what you mean by that."

"Are you serious? That's an old saying for cheese sakes!" she collected herself and tried again. "I mean that I'd just hold him back and I just know I will. He has to leave and go find himself, away from crazy Mrs. Benson." he smiled at this, he knew how Marissa could be but couldn't imagine her any worse than years before. "Don't get me wrong, I love tormenting the little nub, but I'm not going to hold him back. Our lives are going to be different and I'm going in a different direction."

"Have you bothered talking to him at all? If you could have a chance with the boy wouldn't you want to take it?"

"No, I already decided for the both of us. Besides he needs a girl more like 'Carly', it's how he functions."

"Maybe you should talk to him; it isn't just your decision to make."

"Aren't you a bottle full of wisdom today." if it were at all possible her hands were tighter than before.

"I'm just trying to help you out. But you do what you think you have to and then talk to me when you realize you've made a big mistake." he gave her a bored expression, which she knew wasn't really so much bored as tired. She got that way after eating a lot as well.

"I just needed to say it to someone."

"Well glad it was me." he smiled.

"It was either you or Spence and I couldn't find him anywhere." she rolled her eyes.

"I feel special." he smirked.

"You should, I don't usually share things like this with people."

"Did it help at all?"

"I think so; well I'd better get out of here. I've got bid'ness to take care of."

"When don't you have 'bid'ness'." he laughed.

"We still on for Tuesday?" she asked heading for the door.

"Yep, got everything set up."

"I'll see you tomorrow. Later." she said and left his office.

Roger waited until he couldn't hear her footsteps anymore and picked up his phone.

"Hey, when's the next meeting?" he asked into the receiver. "I have something to tell you that might be helpful."

* * *

Freddie sucked in some air and then proceeded to knock, Spencer had returned an hour ago and he needed to talk. It wasn't as though he could go talk to his mother that would just be wrong. She would and try to reason with him that Sam was not the right girl for him. He wasn't about to let that woman ruin his hopes like that.

Carly had left after she got done lecturing him, in-depth on what he should do. But what he needed was someone like Spencer to set him straight and to understand Sam better, even though Carly knew her well enough. The whole situation needed a male perspective on it.

He had gone home after she left to hide, basically. He'd never admit that out loud but that's what he did. He had heard Spencer joyfully singing some random song about forks and spoons as he opened the front door.

Now that he stood outside the door waiting for the classic 'come in' from inside, he wondered if this was a good idea. It was too late though and Spencer's voice called out to him to come inside. It was almost like he was psychic or something; he always knew that it was him.

"Freddo!" he grinned as the young man walked in.

"Hey Spence, what are you workin' on?" he asked stuffing his hands into front pockets of his jeans and trying to seem casual about his visit.

"A sculpture made out of broccoli. I need to have it done within then next few hours or all the broccoli will go bad."

The tech producer just nodded as though understanding and leaned against the back of the sofa.

"Spence." he said after a long silence.

Spencer glanced up mid-molding and raised an eyebrow at the young man.

"Yep?"

"Can we talk?" he started getting a little nervous, all his past conversations with Spencer coming back to him. Awkward! "You know, about private stuff that I can't talk to other people about." he coughed and glanced around.

"You want to have the 'birds and the bees' talk kiddo?" Spencer put down the bowl in his hand and came over to where Freddie was standing.

The young man's face lit aflame as he recalled this talk with another person, his mother. Cringe. There were even charts and technical names as well as gruesome photos of the downside to sexual intercourse. He shivered as he thought of that time when he was just barely eleven.

"No!" he stated shaking his head. "I know enough about that." Too much in fact.

"Then what's on your mindo, Freddo?"

"It's about a girl." he struggled.

Spencer smirked, giving Freddie his all knowing look.

"Freddie, I am all knowing." he started striking a 'cocky man' pose and stroking his chin. "And my guess is that this girl is none other than a certain blond we all know and love," he grinned. "Some more than others." he winked.

"I wish you guys would stop using love so much. Geez!" he threw his hands up in the air and huffed.

"How do you know that you don't love her?"

And there was the million dollar question.

"I uh…" the puzzled look on his face gave Spencer his answer.

"See, you do love her! Just admit it and you'll feel better."

"But I don't know if I love her. That's my point. That's why I need to talk to you." Spencer went back over to his brocco-statue and continued to work. Freddie took this as a sign to continue. "Do you know what's been going on between us?" he asked working his way over to Spencer and sitting down in a table chair.

"I know that you two are pretty much doing what people in relationships do, but Sam insists that its 'not like that'."

"Yeah, that bothers me a lot but what can I do about it?" he rubbed his face and continued. "Carly says I should play to win, it's so weird hearing her talk like that."

"That is a little weird. What did she mean by that?"

"She thinks that I shouldn't give into Sam but fight against her. You know, try to make her jealous. I don't think it'll bother her as much as Carly thinks though."

"I think it'll work, Freddo." Spencer looked up and nodded. "Sam is secure enough with her friends to not worry about losing them unless there's a reason to worry. But I'm guessing she has problems dealing with guys she actually likes. Just look at her other relationships. She puts up a front, being all tough but she's still a teenage girl with feelings. I just know that she's got some sort of feelings for ya, but for some reason she just can't bring herself to allow those feelings to exist."

"You sound just like Carly." he grumbled.

"Is there a girl at school that Sam hates and will get her riled up that you can flirt with?"

"What's with you Shays? Look I don't want to play dirty with Sam, it's not my style and it really isn't hers either. There's got to be another way to get her to return my feelings."

"Play hard to get."

"I don't know."

"Just try it. You are allowed to see other girls, even if they are just friends. It's really the only way to get through to Sam."

"But what if that doesn't work?"

"If you love her you'll have to find a way. Otherwise this thing, whatever you call it, will end badly and you'll lose a friend. Can you live with that?"

The prospect of losing Sam was too hard for him to deal with, not seeing her for days was bad, forever was….well forever! He frowned and stood up.

"Thanks for the talk." he mumbled and left.

Spencer stopped what he was doing and made a call.

"Yo! Hey bro, the meeting is set for tomorrow, yeah bring the socks. Thanks, yeah." he hung up and grinned to himself. Poor Freddie, he thought and got back to his work.

**

* * *

**

Monday morning came quickly and Sam was rushing around that morning. She'd had a lot on her mind the night before and couldn't sleep. She was surprised to see both her friends downstairs and ready to head to school while she was stuffing her school things into her bag and carrying her shoes. It was a clear indication that she was a mess, just by looking at her reflection in the mirror.

Carly wasn't talking to her; she was doing the same as well. Freddie frowned as they made their way to his car and got in. The silence was so ridiculous to him. Sam fiddled with the radio but decided to put a CD she'd just bought, though it was a few years old. It was by the band that Roger had been managing. It happened to be the first CD they'd ever made and she'd been curious about it.

The female lead singer was hilarious and she did an amazing job on their first album; in her opinion.

Even though Carly was just acting, she could tell that she'd really upset Sam and wanted to apologize. But knowing of her own plans she couldn't, not until this was finished. Sam was the only obstruction in the operation. What she couldn't seem to understand was why Sam got so defensive and upset about her asking about their 'relationship' or lack thereof. This was going down in the book as well, Carly thought to herself as she watched Sam through the side mirror. Her friends face was set in a blank expression but there was so much more going on in that head of hers.

Once they reached school Carly headed off to give the two their alone time, which she figured they needed after yesterday. That was the least she could do for the two, after all she'd caused some sort of rift in their 'thing'. She could tell that Freddie was still on the fence about what to do with Sam and he needed the time too.

After Carly left the two sat there in his car for ten minutes, not speaking or moving as other students started heading in. The silence was getting to Sam though, he could tell.

"Why are we sitting in your car?" she asked finally fiddling with a loose string on her sweater. It always helped to distract herself like this, even if it seemed pointless.

"We usually sit in here." he shrugged, feeling strange still after what happened the night before.

"Yeah but we aren't usually just sitting. Is something up?" she glanced over at him and he looked conflicted. Usually they'd kiss, while no one was in the parking lot then head inside. But not this morning, he was just silent and looked like there was a huge elephant in his brain.

"Just have a lot on my mind I suppose." he mumbled softly looking down at the steering wheel.

"About what Carly said yesterday?" she frowned. "Look Benson, we can just end this if you're going to get all mushy." she started to get agitated about having to go through with this conversation.

"I never said that, oh just forget it. Let's get inside before the bell rings." he sighed and got out of the car. He wasn't sure how he'd deal with this girl but there had to be a solution to winning. He couldn't just tell her everything that had been on his mind since last night. Talking to both Carly and Spencer had left him unsure of what he should do, if he should go through with what they suggested. He wasn't that type of guy who would use another person just to get at someone else. But he wanted to be more to Sam than what he was at the moment. He wanted her to look at him with feeling and dare he think, love. Sometimes when they kissed he thought he could feel other emotions from her, like it was going to be the last time that they'd ever kiss. She wanted it to mattered, at least that was his take on it.

When they were at the concert that one night they were so wrapped up in each other's eyes that it didn't even seem like they were at a concert. They danced through most of the songs together, which involved a lot of flailing limbs and hip movements. He'd never laughed so hard in his life.

He made it half way to the door and stood a few feet from it; waiting for the blond. Sam joined him as they headed to the front doors of the school. It was so strange to be in school and being 'involved' with Sam, in some sense. Carly's words were still with him though as he reached his locker while she went to hers. This gave him a moment to collect his thoughts and figure out what he should do. He couldn't just go up to some random girl and 'flirt' that would be too weird. Sighing he put his stuff away and grabbed his English book. He really didn't want to do this, it just wasn't him. But he sucked in a breath and talked himself into being as causal as possible.

Sam felt like banging her head against the front of her blue locker. She could tell that Freddie was a bit off, he didn't even kiss her good-morning, not that she cared, and no she didn't care at all! Foolishness, that's what it was, on her part. She wasn't supposed to be getting all 'girlfriend' on him and wanting all the 'lovey dovey' things from the nub. It was in way he'd hold a door opened for her or bring her food whenever she wanted it. Or even how he'd just brush off her harsh words most times even though she could tell they bothered him.

She could take what Roger had advised to heart and just tell him what she thought. But it wasn't who she was at all, she couldn't explain to a boy who'd always been her punching bag that she was just looking out for him. He had such potential to do great things with that brain of his; she'd always known it and maybe felt a little jealous also. Not that she cared at all for school and the like but recently she had thought about it more and wondered where she'd be headed if it were different. She couldn't see herself in some stuffy office working for someone she hated everyday. There was no way she'd solve any great mystery or make a cure cancer.

If she had buckled down and gave a damn about school work and such, then she wouldn't have to ponder that. It wasn't as though she was stupid or anything, in fact secretly she had a love for Physics, but no one knew this, except her Physics teacher. Surprisingly her two best friends got that class out of the way and didn't want to take it again. They also stopped asking her about her grades as well as her classes she didn't have with them. It made things easier to hide. Since the year before she'd started to privately work a little harder toward raising her grades, not by much but just a little, to pass. She could at least have something so she could get into community college. Though her dream was to go to a culinary arts school and learn to make food beautifully as well as delicious.

Physics though was her best subject, besides home economics. Her Physics teacher always collected her homework after everyone left the room, she was just too awesome. She also never mentioned Sam's work out loud; they seemed to come to an understanding to that as well. Ms. Lewis for some unknown reason liked Sam and knew how she functioned outside her class.

She was the best student in that class and Ms. Lewis wanted her to stay, so she kept Sam's amazing brain a secret from the student body.

She grabbed her Physics book and her History and made sure to cover up the Physics cover. Not even Carly knew of this and no one would ever. She'd been asked by a few kids once, such as Gibby, who had seen her going to the 'Honors Physics' class. She informed him that time that it was more or less a punishment and a requirement that she had to take this class, which she was 'failing' or so she said. Of course she made sure to inform Gibby to keep his yap shut and to never mention what he say, otherwise he'd find out why she'd been arrested.

Her eyes scanned the hallways and landed on Freddie, talking with some girl, who kept giggling like an idiot. It wasn't as though it really mattered to her if he talked to other girls. It was his right and it was bound to happen sometime. What they had wasn't anything, she made sure to remind him of this as much as possible. Watching him give someone that flirtatious smile made her nauseous and angry though. She knew that Fredward could be quite attractive to the female students at their school. Heck even she could sort of admit that he was attractive in a nubbish sort of way. Yet he insisted on following after her when he could have just about any girl in that school. The boy really did enjoy pain; otherwise he would have given up a long time ago.

The girl, who she'd seen hanging with the other AV Club nerds was actually really cute and a pretty cool chick, once she stopped being a dork. Sam never really had the urge to hurt her either, which was strange for her. Though now there was a slight tickling in her fist to just punch her in the face for giving Freddie that look. Then after she finished off that girl she'd make sure to maim Freddie for wiggling his eyebrows and smiling flirtatiously at her.

She pushed those thoughts away and continued to watch from a distance, making sure to not draw too much attention to herself.

Whatever Freddie was saying she was eating up and pushing his shoulder in a playful way.

Sam felt her left eye begin to twitch though and her hands were leaving indents in her two large hard cover books. She turned away from the scene and headed for Physics, her first and favorite class of the day.

Freddie smiled as he watched Sam walk away in a hurried fashion. Natalie Rodriguez was his other female friend, who he talked with on occasion in the AV Club meetings. She had made his 'plan' easier; she just walked right up to him and asked him about what she had missed in the last meeting. It seemed that she had some sort of appointment that day and she had to miss it. From what he could tell she must have had her braces tightened. It must have been a pain to have to get those; right before senior year.

He didn't mean to say anything funny but apparently she found it hilarious and couldn't control herself. He made sure to subtly glance at Sam and could tell that she was annoyed by him talking to Natalie. He wasn't sure if he could keep it up though, it just felt so wrong.

He continued to nod and laugh though as Natalie explained what had happened the other night with two other guys in their club. It was apparent to him that even 'nerds' knew how to have a good time.

Once she left he headed for English class and wondered briefly why Sam had two books with her, which he had noticed when she turned to leave.

**

* * *

**

At lunch Sam was nowhere to be found and Freddie was really worried that he had messed up. He looked around and saw Carly chatting it up with 'Trig guy' in the lunch line. She waved over at him and he gave a half hearted wave back at her. She could tell that he wasn't as enthusiastic and realized why. Sam was nowhere in sight, she frowned at him then and gave him a look that said, 'where's Sam?' He shrugged and returned his attention to the lunch he had packed himself, which was new to him.

His mom had been gone a lot more then he could remember; it was very unlike her. It was almost as though she were avoiding him, or Sam. He wasn't sure which of them she couldn't face. But he'd had so much freedom over the past few weeks that he was started to miss her overbearing behavior.

Carly and the Trig guy came over and sat down at the table with Freddie, who was frowning down at his sandwich. Maybe it was a bad idea to 'seem' like he was flirting with Natalie. His blond demon never missed lunch, not even if she were physically disabled or detained in the principal's office. Nothing kept Sam from lunch hour. Especially when he brought her snacks!

"Maybe she got into some trouble before lunch." Carly suggested, noticing the worry sketched over his brow.

"She would have still made it to lunch." he said sadly looking down at the fat cake he'd brought.

"I know I was trying to make you worry less." she said sadly and picked up her apple and took a bite.

When lunch ended they headed off to their respective class, which was History. The only other class they had together was Trig and that was the third class of the day. Sam seemed fine while she sat in the back and scribbled in her beat up notebook. She was pressing pretty hard into the paper, if he remembered correctly.

Was that the reaction he was looking for from the blond girl? Was this considered a success? Had he really made Sam jealous and just from talking to a friend? He knew that his intent was to seem like he was flirting but this sucked. He'd rather have her there punching him for his pouting and telling him to 'man up'.

He took his usual seat off to the right and noticed that Sam was sitting in the way back with her book opened, nose stuffed in it. He'd hardly ever seen her do this outside of school, it was like a miracle. He continued to gaze at her and finally she glanced up and gave him a thoughtful looked and raised an eyebrow at him.

His brown eyes grew wide as he noticed that she was trying desperately to cover up something. It was in her eyes, he could spot it a mile away. She chose to break their eye contact and get back to whatever she was looking over; it didn't look like their history book though.

Carly took the seat on the other side of the room and waved at him and then waved to Sam who glared at the girl. He assumed that Sam was still not over Carly butting into their business. It seemed weird to him that she'd react this way. He started to wonder if there was more to her reaction then he could see.

The trio departed from the school parking lot with full bags of textbooks and heavy minds. Carly was still trying to pretend that she was upset with Sam while Sam clearly was still mad. Freddie knew that Sam wasn't going to tell him what was bothering her, she never did. In fact every time that he attempted to confront her about 'emotional' subjects she'd block him or kiss him, to distract him from bothering her further.

Once he parked and they got into the elevator things were still tense. Sam and Carly headed for her apartment while Freddie went to his to drop off his things and start on some homework. Sam would be leaving in thirty minutes to go to work. It was still weird to say that, even if he thought it. Sam and work were just too weird to put together. Or the fact that she was still working and hadn't quit yet.

He decided to go over before she left and see how things were. He didn't bother to knock, Spencer wasn't home, and he and Socko were off at the junk yard collecting things for another sculpture.

The living room was vacant of the two so he quietly headed upstairs and could hear yelling coming from the studio. The door was opened but he chose to stand off against the wall.

"You don't understand at all do you?" shouted Sam, who was moving around, from what he could see from his position. She looked like a caged animal pacing like that.

"I really don't. I was just trying to look out for the both of you." Carly tried to reason sounding strained by her friend's anger.

"No Carly, that's not it at all. Think about it." she stopped for a moment and leaned against the car while Carly stood near his tech cart, which he forgot to take home the other night. "Every-time I end up with someone or even take an interest you get involved somehow. I mean it's not like this is effecting the show in anyway, yet you still feel like you have to be involved. Just look at what happened to all my other 'relationships'"

"Are you blaming me for your bad relationships?" shrieked Carly clinching her fist to her sides.

"Jonah, even though he was with me he wanted you. Can you even come close to understand what that's like? To know that you'll always be second..." she trailed off. "I can't be like you Carly, all fluff and perfection. It just isn't me. But I just wish that for once I can be first to someone rather than having to be some consolation prize to you." she rubbed her face and he could hear her voice waver for a second before she collected herself. "Don't get me wrong, I love you so much Carly, I really do. You are the greatest best friend a girl could ask for. I don't know where I'd be without you there to keep me on the right path, but seriously can't you see what you do sometimes? Sometimes I wonder if you actually reach out while you're inside your little Carly bubble and just look around. There are other people around here too and not everything is about how they might affect just you. I'm sorry that I said that but…" she trailed off and looked down at her shoes.

Carly froze where she stood and looked at Sam, Freddie couldn't see what her face looked like but he guessed shock. Her head dropped and she was shaking all of a sudden. He felt bad for Carly for just a second but could understand how Sam felt about her best friend at times.

"You're right Sam; I don't understand how you feel. But I wasn't trying to come between you guys; I just want you guys to go about it responsibly. Is that so bad? You guys are so important to me and I don't want to think about what would happen if..."

"Carly, you want to know the real reason why I won't date the nub?" Sam stated looking her straight in the face.

Carly's head shot up.

"That would be very helpful." Carly found herself saying, she couldn't believe this conversation was happening. At first she had been acting but somewhere along the way it became a real talk with real problems. Her best friend actually thought she was self-centered, maybe she was but she never noticed.

Sam sat at the tip of the car and lowered her head so that Carly couldn't look into her eyes.

"You know that Freddie's going to end up going to some fancy school where he'll probably meet the right girl for him. Maybe someone like you, who he can have the whole package with."

"Are you insane? How can you possibly think that far into the future? You guys haven't even started 'dating' yet; don't you think you should do that first before you start jumping to conclusions?"

"I'm not jumping to conclusions. Sure I'm thinking too much into this but if we get emotionally attached and he has to leave and I have to leave for my own thing, we won't be able to stay friends. It'll be harder to give him up if I give into being with him; I know I won't be able to. I'll be selfish and make him stay even though I shouldn't. We'll be worse off if there's feelings attached, do you get it?"

"I get that you're an idiot." blotched Carly.

"Look, I won't be the reason that he fails at his 'master plan' for his perfect little life. He at least deserves to get away from here and find himself and not have to deal with his nutcase of a mom. If he feels like he has to stay then it will be my fault."

"Are you telling me that you actually....care?" she sounded genuinely surprised. She expected a lot of things from Sam but not that she'd be so selfless towards Freddie like this, that she'd hurt herself just so he could be happy.

"I never said that." Sam said quickly. "I mean I love messing with the dork, but I'm not going to ruin his entire life. I do have my limits." she smirked.

Carly moved closer to Sam and looked her in the eyes.

"Oh my gosh...you...you...." she couldn't even bring herself to say the words that had just formed into her mind.

Sam's eyes were wide then and she covered Carly's mouth.

"Don't you dare say what you're thinking of saying? If you say it then it becomes real and that's what I'm trying to avoid here."

"Sam, why don't you just give up on this whole thing and just be with Freddie like a normal person would?"

"Because we aren't normal, don't you know this?"

"Do you know what he wants?"

"Somewhat, but pretty soon it'll get out of his system and he'll be able to move on from this, that's just how it has to be."

"No Sam, this isn't some fling and you know it."

"Sure it is, we're friends and we fool around. That's just how it is and pretty soon we'll go back to just being friends once he realizes that this was just physical."

"Was that all it was to you too?" Carly asked in a low voice as she stared Sam down.

"Just leave me alone, Carly. I've given you my reason so just drop it."

Sam pushed past Carly and went into her room to gather her belongings for work. Freddie took this as his cue to get back downstairs and out into the hall. When Sam came out she was still a bit flustered from her talk with Carly. With what he knew he found it hard to not fidget while she stared him down, daring him to say something stupid. He tried to pick up on how she felt though her eyes, but she was blocking him out. Yet he could still feel her words rush over his ears and he wasn't sure how he felt about everything he'd heard.

"You want me to drive you to work?" he asked pushing himself off the wall. She froze at the front door and just stared at him. He could tell that she wasn't expecting him to be there.

There was something off about this boy and she wasn't sure what, she thought to herself.

"You don't need to." she stated closing the door to the loft. He pouted for a moment, which made her smirk at him a bit. She walked over to him and ruffled his fluffy hair. She'd grown accustomed to its new length. Mrs. Benson still had problems with his slightly longer hair, it wasn't very long but it was noticeable if you knew Fredward Benson.

She ran a hand through his hair and he sucked in a breath at the contact. It was a heck of a lot gentler than it normally was. He did something that always seemed to shock her; he pulled her into a hug. Not the kind you give a friend you haven't seen in a long time or your brother after he gives you a birthday gift. This hug spoke volumes to her as he held onto her and rested his head on her shoulder.

This was part of the problem for her, when he did things like this it made it so much harder to detach herself emotionally from him.

She pulled away and lightly smacked his left cheek.

"Let's go Benson; you are buyin' me some food."

He whined as he followed her out of the building and into the cool March afternoon. He didn't mind though, if it meant he got to spend another day with her. All the information he'd gathered from earlier was stored in his 'Sam' bank in his mind. He'd have to go through it when he got home later and figure out what it all meant.

It did give him a little hope for them and their future, if only he could convince his little blond demon. He really liked thinking of her that way too, it made him smile.

**

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**

**Panda Note:** Okay people I know that it took me forever to get this one out but I've been super busy and now my laptop is being a mega jerk again. So if I do any writing it'll be on my dad's iBook, which is where I am now. So I won't be doing much writing this weekend. Boo....Sorry guys, but I will work on it Monday, we'll see how tomorrow goes first.

Let me know what you thought of this chapter, **REVIEW!!!! **Yes you, the one with the shocked and drooling expressions on your faces, do it, think of the children!

Thanks to all the awesome reviewers as well, I got like 22 reviews for the last chapter, thanks!!

Oh and who's excited about the new episode coming on July 11??????? OMG I'm so jazzed! They kiss again!!! AH!!!!.....take that Creddie fans...no offense sorry!

**Also since I can't reply to you privately I will do it here:**

**terri:** welcome back!! Thanks! I'm glad you are enjoying it and it's great to hear that you guys all like this story! :D

**carly chattw:** what does that mean? kak? thanks for the review though!

**ChelseaC:** oh you know it! Thanks! I love being complimented!! :D

**Marisa: **Thanks!!! I blush lol I will try, hopefully you and everyone enjoys this, it took me longer than I wanted to finish.


	12. April Fools Day

**Disclaimer:** iCarly thinks I'm awesome! Oh wait, I don't own iCarly. Sorry again. haha. Oh and I don't own the pranks either, sorry! lol

THERE'S A POLL!!!.........oh my page.....lol

**Chapter Eleven

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**

He absolutely hated April first, with a passion. It was especially hard to live through it when the girl you cared for was supreme ruler of Pranksville. What made it even worse was that he was her constant target. He glanced over at her as Carly fussed over her hair in the mirror in her apartment. She didn't seem to be up to anything sinister as she stood there munching on the bagel he had brought her. It became a routine for him to carry food around with him for her. It wasn't as though Spencer didn't feed her enough, he did, but the girl got hungry from just walking to his car in the morning.

She was getting impatient with Carly though and began tapping her foot.

"Come on Carls!"

"Someone's in a rush today, got something to do at school?" smirked Carly who closed the door and locked it.

"Nope, just hate standing around watching ya fluff your hair for three hours."

The two had worked out their problems a week after the fight in the studio. It felt like they were closer, at least to him. He knew that they talked again when he dropped her off one night from taking her to work. After that they were back to being Carly and Sam, best friends.

He still thought about what he'd heard that night too, about why Sam refused to be with him like a normal person. He wasn't sure if he should feel really annoyed or touched that she cared about his so much. It was hard to decide between both feelings. Was it partly his own fault for building up all his big 'life' plans enough to block out a chance with Sam?

The past two weeks were amazing though. It was almost as though they were really together, like a real relationship. He made sure that they weren't always delving in the physical realm, to prove to her that he wanted so much more from her than that. It was a lot easier then he realized it would be, when he got to spend so much time with her. At times she could be unbearable and downright mean but he took it in stride and brushed it all off. Of course it was also hard to keep his hands to himself, with her always near and tempting.

Today though, he was paranoid and nervous. This was practically her holiday and she was acting so casual about it.

"What's wrong with you Freddork?" she asked looking at him with a bored expression on her face.

"Nothing." he stated and fiddled with the pocket on the strap of his backpack. "Let's just go." he started walking toward the elevator as the two girls giggled behind him. Was he being too paranoid? She didn't seem like she was plotting. Right before they were about to board the elevator they heard a shrill scream come from the Shay loft. Both Freddie and Carly looked at Sam who looked just as confused as they were.

They shrugged it off and headed for Freddie's car. When they got there he found a note attached to his windshield. He removed it and read it to himself.

"What's wrong Freddie?" Carly asked as they stood to the left side of the car. He looked up as his face paled. "Freddie?"

"Someone hit my car!" he held up the note and the two girls read it.

"Hey bro, I totally hit your car, my bad. Here's my number and apartment number, call me so we can exchange insurance info." Sam read out loud. "Toby McPhillips."

Carly and Sam stood off to the side as Freddie frantically walked all around his car looking for the supposed dent. He wasn't sure how many times he walked around but he found nothing at all on it. Scratching his head he did another search and still found nothing.

"I didn't find any dent." he huffed and pouted.

Sam was giggling to herself as she opened the door to the passenger side.

"What's so funny?" he whined.

"April fools dork!" she laughed harder doing a little dance in her seat as her two other friends buckled up.

"What!?" he snapped gaping at her.

"You didn't think I would just sit back today and do nothing?"

"I was waiting for you to bust out with the pranks." he sighed.

"I thought so." she grinned at him. "You were getting all twitchy and nervous." she did another little dance in her seat and started to mess with the radio as usual.

Freddie smiled to himself as a thought came to mind. Once he parked he sent a text to Carly and she gave a slight nod as they headed into the halls of the school. Sam placed all her stuff into her locker and grabbed her Physics book, which she'd bought a green decorative cover for, so that she didn't have to carry around her history book all day long. It helped when she was with her two friends. She stood near her locker as Freddie made his way over to them.

"Oh hey Carly did you study last night for that big test in English?" he asked. She looked at him for a moment and then screamed and looked frantic.

"I can't believe I forgot!" she dramatically opened her locker and began to read the last chapter that they were working on during their last class. Sam grabbed her best friends book and rushed off toward the bathroom.

"Wow, you were really convincing." he grinned, knuckle bumping her.

"Yeah but you're so dead when she finds out there's no test in her second hour."

Sam came out after ten minutes and handed Carly her book back.

She was covered, at least she hoped she was as she scanned through her Physics book. She'd been on one of the later chapters yesterday and had to stop and put it away because Freddie had come over last night to see her. She had been so wrapped up in her book that she didn't even do her English homework last night. Just as she was getting to the next page she realized that the bell was going to ring. Her two friends were looking at her strangely which caused her to close her book.

"Whatcha readin'?" Carly asked trying to get a peek over her shoulder before she closed it.

"Boggie Bear goes to Vegas." she said quickly.

"Again?"

"It's really good." she shrugged.

The bell rang then and Carly headed off to her class, leaving Sam and Freddie alone in a vacant hallway.

"You want me to walk you to class?" he asked looking around.

"Nope." she grinned and moved closer to him. His eyes grew wide at her boldness as she pulled his face down toward hers and kissed him roughly before pushing him away and walking off toward her Physics class. He stood there a moment and watched her walk away, still tasting cream cheese on his lips. As she turned the corned he wondered where she was headed. He did something that he would normally not do, he followed her to her first class.

The halls were deserted, pretty much, and she was just reaching the door to her first class of the day. Once she was inside he moved toward the door and read the label to the side of the door. 'Honors Physics'?' he thought to himself as he peeked through the little window. Sam greeted her teacher who smiled, yes actually smiled back and she then sat down.

The warning bell rang and he started to run toward his own class, wondering what the cheese Sam was doing in an Honors class.

* * *

When lunch hour came around Sam was right where she was supposed to be, except that she looked really mad. Some poor freshman was standing right by her cowering in fear as she continued to eat.

As he sat down her eyes met his and she glared a painful, sharp 'I'm super mad at you dork' at him. The freshman was still there and Sam turned her attention to him.

"And you, the next time I say something you'd better do it kid! Now get out of my sight before I change my mind." she snapped and he darted off, running into one of the lunch doors twice. It was just plain sad to watch.

"So I'm guessing you found out that there was no test?" he smirked and she continued to glare.

"You think you got me didn't you? This day isn't over yet." she smirked. "Oh I'm going to get you and when I do..."

"Yeah, sure, if you say so." he grinned and went back to his lunch. Something about her smile was distracting him though. She tilted her head to the side and was just smiling at him. It wasn't as though he were complaining, at least she was no longer glaring. Her head leaned against the back of her hand and she munched delicately on her sandwich. That was weird in itself, she was never delicate when it came to eating.

Whatever was going on in her mind at that moment must have been amazing for her to look so thoughtful. She reached over and stole some of his chips and some of his drink. Normally he would have complained but he decided to let it go this time and just look at her while he ate.

Carly had mentioned going to eat outside with 'Trig guy', who seemed alright, but he must have a name. It just seemed mean to call him 'Trig guy' constantly.

Nothing eventful happened during the rest of their classes and Freddie seemed to fall into a false sense of security by the time that school was out. He met the girls at their locker and waited for them to finish their talk about bras. At times he wished he were friends with guys, he shouldn't know which color was in season, it was just so wrong.

They must have realized he was there after ten minutes of their conversation, they both looked up.

"Oh hey Fredley." Sam said smirking. "Ready to suffer?" she asked wickedly.

He sighed and started toward the parking lot. The two girls were still talking when they reached his car, the other students at Ridgeway were all still outside. As they approached his car his eyes grew wide as they landed on the front hood of his car. He couldn't believe his eyes as he took in all the paint, in random designed sprawled all over it. He looked around frantically to find the culprit of this monstrosity upon his precious car. Other students were already looking on when he approached it and he started to hyperventilate. Who would do this to his car? Just as he was about to start flipping out a hand touched his should. It was Sam and she was grinning like crazy.

No, it couldn't be!

"Sam? Tell me you didn't do this to my car, of all the mean messed up things you could do..." he gaped at her and then looked back at the acrylic paint plastered to his car. "Do you have any idea how much this is going to cost to get removed!" he snapped at her and she grinned even more. "This isn't funny Sam! This is very serious! Why would you do this?" he continued to yell at her, his face turning red with anger.

"April Fools." she laughed and he just gaped at her in shock.

"This was the worst joke to pull on someone!" he glared down at her. "You've done some pretty rotten things in the past but this is just unforgivable!" he ranted.

She moved around him and popped the hood. She then proceed to rip off all of the plastic wrap that had been covering the hood and tossed it to the side. After the hood was closed once again she turned back around and continued to grin up at him.

"Oh." was all he could say as he stared at his now clean hood.

"You are so sensitive and not in a good way." she stated patting his cheek a little roughly and then headed for the passenger side. Carly giggled as she walked around Sam and waited for him to open the door. The audience laughed their heads off as he grumbled to himself and got into the driver's seat.

"Wow Sam that was pretty good, his reaction was just classic!" cheered Carly from the back seat.

"It's a gift." she bragged.

"That wasn't cool, Sam." he growled at her, glaring from the corner of his eye.

"Ah, get a grip!" she yelled at him.

"Sometimes you go to far!" he yelled back.

"But you still put up with me, how strange..."

"Sometimes I wonder why I do." he pouted. "All you ever do is cause me pain and drive me insane."

"I think you like pain, Benson. That's why you keep comin' back for more." she grinned poking him in his side, where she knew he was ticklish. He swatted at her hand and tried to focus on driving.

"I can't wait until this day is over, you are the worst when its April Fools Day. It practically gives you a reason to be extra nasty." he continued to rant. She found herself drowning him out as he just kept going on. She'd never tell him how sexy it was when he got like this, trying be all mad and bossy. He had his moments when she would actually listen to him, but those were rare. But most of the time she just let him go on and on until he got tired of listening to his own voice. While he ranted she managed to put a CD in that Roger had given her. He told her it was only three tracks from the band he'd been working with in the studio. It was of the three that she had really liked and had homework assignments on. So while Freddie continued to rant about why she should show him more respect and how it wouldn't hurt her to hold back just a little, she danced in her seat.

But after a good seven minutes of it she couldn't take it anymore.

"Oh, get over it already!" she snapped at him and folded her arms. "It's no like anything will change after today is over."

"It's not always this bad." he countered.

"Maybe not, but you never complained when I replaced your deodorant with cream cheese."

"I was mad at you for three days!" he groaned.

"Really? I don't remember that. Where was I?"

"Ugh!" he wanted to rip out his hair sometimes. He parked the car in the parking garage and had the urge to bang his head again the steering wheel. "You didn't notice that I wasn't talking to you?"

"Nope." she shrugged and started gathering her school stuff from the floor of the car.

"You're hopeless." he sighed.

How could someone who took honors physics be so dense? Speaking of Physics, what was Sam doing in that class? Had she continued after they had to take it in Sophomore year? even though he loved math and science, Physics was just so overwhelming to him. He passed the normal Physics though and got it out of the way. But Sam actually stuck with it? How was that even possible for someone who couldn't concentrate for more than a few minutes? Better yet, how did she get into Honors Physics? Then again he hadn't really seen her report cards since freshman year, he got a nice punch to the face that day.

Was it at all possible that there was a genius in that head of hers? It wasn't as though he thought she was a complete idiot but she just seemed to lack 'intelligence' when it came to scholastics. Why would she go out of her way to hide something like this though?

He scratched his head as they headed for the elevator and up to their floor. Maybe that's why she went to buy those covers for her textbooks, she didn't want anyone to see that she was in some advanced classes, or just the one, he wasn't sure.

As they reached the doors he wondered what else he'd find today, with Prankster Puckett on the prowl. Carly and Sam walked into the loft and he followed, against his own brains protest. It was probably safer to go home rather than be anywhere near her, hearing her bust out with an 'April Fools!'.

What he found once he was in was Spencer, under the kitchen table. He screamed as they closed the door.

"Spencer?" Carly called to her older brother, approaching him like he was a wild animal. "You okay?"

"The horror...the horror...." he whimpered covering his face. Everyone in the room looked at Sam who tried to seem innocent about whatever happened to poor Spencer.

"April Fools?" she laughed nervously.

"What did you do this time?" Freddie scolded the blond.

"It's hard to say actually..." she trailed off as she walked over to where Spencer was sucking his thumb. "Sorry Spence." she mumbled and bent down to his level. "I didn't mean to traumatize you."

"What did you do?" Carly asked looking at her best friend in disbelief.

"I turned the milk green, turned the volume up on the TV to the highest volume and on channel 432, the metal channel." she thought for a moment. "Then there was cup of pudding I put on his bathroom door this morning. I forgot what else though, I was in a prank haze this morning." she grinned.

"...the wrong cereal..." Spencer muttered shaking his head.

"What?" Carly asked.

"Oh yeah, I switched all the cereal with rice."

"Why?"

"I don't know it sounded good at the time."

The three helped pull him out from under the table and to his room. Sam went to the kitchen afterward and grabbed the ham from the other night and started to eat as if nothing had happened.

"Sam!" Carly started in on her. "What the chopsticks were you thinking?"

"I was hungry?" she said dumbfounded, with a piece of ham dangling from her lip. "Did you want some?" she held out the bunch in her hand to Carly who just pushed the hand away.

"I normally don't get on your case when you play harmless pranks but Spencer has malfunctioned and is sucking his thumb."

"But he always does that!" she whined.

"Not like this, Sam what exactly did you do, besides the things you already mentioned?"

"That's all I swear, I can't think of anything else." she shrugged. It was like she did anything terribly bad, a few little pranks here and there. The year before she was a lot worse, it just seemed like she didn't put as much effort into this years pranks. She wondered what was really wrong with Spencer, or if he was just overreacting and being dramatic. Probably the latter, she thought to herself as she plopped onto the couch and lounged.

Carly sighed and sat down in front of her laptop and turned the screen on but it was blank. Looking slightly puzzled she turned to where Freddie was, sitting down next to Sam, who had her head on his lap while stuffing her face. She couldn't help but smile at this, they were so a couple, in her opinion.

"Hey Freddie, could you come look at this for me? The computer is on but the screen is still black."

He looked down at Sam who was frowning slightly at losing her pillow but allowed him to get up. She turned around and looked over the couch to see what was going on.

Freddie poked and prodded it for ten minutes and couldn't figure out what was wrong with it. Then he pressed a few buttons on the screen and it came back on, showing the desktop and icons on the screen.

"April Fools?" Sam smiled.

"Oh Sam..." Carly sighed and rolled her eyes. Freddie worked his way back over to Sam and got back to his first position as her pillow. "What the..." she grumbled as hard clicking could be heard over at the couch.

"What's wrong?" Freddie asked looking over the couch at her.

"I keep clicking on the icons but they aren't opening or doing anything..." she continued to click and click but nothing was happening. Carly turned around and looked at a very relaxed Sam who was grinning as she continued to eat her ham.

"What?" Sam asked raising an eyebrow at her best friend.

"What did you do to my computer?" the brunette frowned.

"April Fools?" she laughed a little and sat up and placed her tray of ham into Freddie's lap. Her feet carried her over to Carly and she pressed a few buttons and brought up the display options and removed the desktop wallpaper. "It was just a screenshot of the regular one you usually have, I hid the start menu and the icons." she explained and put everything back where it belongs.

"You didn't do anything else did you?" she glanced up at her blond friend and gave her a suspicious look.

"Meh, who knows." she grinned and went back to Freddie who had started to munch on her ham. "Hey! Ham eater!!" she pulled the tray from his hands and moved to the other side of the couch and shoved more into the big hole she calls her mouth.

* * *

The day after April Fools day was probably the greatest day of Fredward Benson's life. Okay maybe that was a little too dramatic but it was better than having to look over his shoulder. After Sam went to talk to Spencer he slowly started to come out of whatever had traumatized him. It just made it worse, she didn't have to work that day either, Roger had told her ahead of time that she'd have that day off. He obviously didn't want to have to deal with a Sam who pranks, how he knew about this Freddie wasn't sure.

It had also been Friday and Freddie had been nervous the entire evening that Sam was going to reveal his secrets or pull more pranks on him during the whole show. Nothing happened though and he was able to go home in peace.

Saturday though he had decided that he'd take her out. Not as a date, mind you, he'd never call it that or even say it out loud. But secretly he liked to hope that one day he'd get to say 'date' and 'girlfriend' to anyone within earshot. She wasn't his completely yet, but it was going to happen, he had faith in that at least. He grinned to himself as he knocked on the door to the Shay residence. Spencer called out to him to come in, as usual. He opened the door and found Spencer hunched over a grouping of random objects in complete concentration while Sam worked in the kitchen on breakfast, as usual. Carly was sipping on some coffee and reading comments on the website.

It seemed almost normal, the group in the room. Like they'd always just done these things and functioned as a family would, even if they were unconventional.

Sam seemed like she was in a good mood that morning too, it was a nice change from her usual snippiness. Spencer waved at him from behind a pile of random objects and Carly turned and waved him over to the computer.

"Morning." he said and sat down next to her and stole her coffee. "What are you working on?"

"Oh, just picking a few ideas from the viewers for next weeks show." she shrugged and took her coffee back and told him to get his own.

His blond headed demon turned around from the stove and smirked at him. It wasn't her usual sinister smirk, it seemed more like she was kind of happy to see him. Maybe he was thinking too much into a simple smirk, but he hoped that it was because of that reason. She sauntered over to him and leaned against the other side of the island.

"So Benson what do you have planned for us this time?" she asked in a bored tone. He'd been planning Saturdays for them to hang, which she suspected were his own way to have 'dates' with her without calling them dates. She wasn't sure why she allowed but so far they'd done things that always went off schedule. They'd always have a good time though. She just wished that he wouldn't plan them out so much and just go with the flow.

"Nothing." he shrugged and smirked at her, wiggling his eyebrows in that Fredward Benson way.

"Finally listening to me I see." she flicked his nose and went back to the stove.

"When don't I?" he snapped back.

"You have your moments of rebellion." she shrugged and turned off the stove. "Spence, chow time!" she called and his head shot up. At least he didn't look as frazzled as yesterday. "Don't worry, I won't prank you anymore." she assured him and started making plates of pancakes.

"Did you put raspberries in the batter?" he asked timidly coming into the kitchen.

"Of course I did." she told him handing him the first plate. "Your favorite." she grinned and he skipped off to sit with Carly and Freddie. She brought them their plates next and then grabbed hers and some coffee. The usual breakfast on the weekend, like every other Saturday.

"Raspberries..." sighed a happy Spencer.

"So Carls, what's on your social calendar today?" Sam asked between stuffing her mouth, though it was still semi-full when she spoke.

"Oh David's taking me out." she shrugged.

"Are you guys getting serious?" Sam asked giving her a suggestive look.

"I suppose we are, I do really like him."

"But..."

"He's got the same last name as me! How weird is that?"

"So what, it's not like you're related or anything."

"But what if we are and we get married and twenty years down the road we find out we're like cousins or something, then what?"

"Slow it down Shay, it's not possible."

"How would you know?"

"I don't but do you like this guy?"

"Well yeah, he's awesome."

"Then go for it." Sam shrugged and went back to eating. Carly stared at her for a moment and couldn't believe what she'd just said. 'Go for it'? Like she was reaching for the stars with Freddie, who was so ready to jump into the deep end with the crazy blond.

"I'll think about it." Carly said, wanting to really say 'you're one to talk' but figured that she shouldn't mess with her friend's good mood.

After breakfast was over Carly went off to get ready while Sam just pulled a jacket over her pajama top and motioned for Freddie to get a move on. He rolled his eyes but followed her out of the Shay residence. She stuffed her hands into her coat pockets and shifted her weight back and forth between feet while he went home to grab his car keys and coat. It had been storming a lot the past few weeks and so he made sure to bring his large umbrella.

"Where are we going?" she asked frowning up at him.

"You'll see." he grinned and led the way to his car. They hopped in and she began her usual ritual of finding something decent to listen to. She decided to just play the mix CD she'd made after realizing that she'd be in his car almost everyday. She made sure to turn it up a little louder than necessary and began to randomly dance in her seat.

He smiled to himself as he caught her motions from the corner of his eye. These were moments he wanted everyday in his life. Maybe he was being sappy and overly mushy, but he didn't care. She was an amazing girl, even with all the sharp edges. He stopped at a red light and turned his head slightly to see her jamming out with her best air guitar ever. Shaking his head he turned left and continued down the busy streets of Seattle. The rain was barely drizzling as he parked into a swap mart. Sam loved going on the weekends and finding random things. But to get there they'd have to pass a few shops on the corner. He grabbed his umbrella and went to open the door for Sam but she was already outside by the time he got to the other side. He placed the opened umbrella over her head and made sure not to squish into her while they walked down the sidewalk.

The first shop they passed sold nothing but lamps, the one next to it had Sam stop in her tracks. He bumped into her back when she stopped and turned to see what she was looking at.

Inside the window were the small puppies all scratching at the glass, trying to get her attention. She kneeled down and touched the glass where two little paws were pressed. He stood there for a minute and was just transfixed with this whole scene. Was it at all possible that Sam actually liked animals, especially dogs? He remembered her and Carly mentioning a cat a few times but he couldn't remember what its name was. He just always assumed she liked cats, but apparently he was wrong. There was one in particular that caught his attention, one that Sam was also looking at fondly. She tilted her head to the side and watched the little light colored puppy in the corner with its head hanging down slightly. She frowned as she watched him glance over at her and give her the saddest look she'd ever seen.

She tried to pretend that she wasn't feeling bad for the little guy but Freddie saw it just before she wiped it from her face. It seemed almost hard for her to step away from the glass window and take her eyes from the little sad puppy in the corner.

Something struck him then, he knew what he wanted to get her for her birthday, he just had to clear it with Carly and Spencer. He just hoped that the little puppy was going to be there when he got back later.

She pulled at his arm and he woke up from his thoughts and followed her down to the light and turned right and headed toward the swap mart.

Sam found a movie prop of a large ham hidden under a bunch of carrots and strawberries. Her cheers of happiness could be heard all over the indoor establishment. She pushed some guy who got to close to the ham which caused a whole ruckus, he fell into another stand and then the owner and the guy got into it.

Freddie stood there for a moment and just watched as the two men argued. The guy then started to point over to where Sam was standing, holding onto her large ham protectively.

"It was that girl over there, she pushed me!" the disgruntled guy was yelling at the other man who looked mad about his poor stand getting ruined.

Freddie put down ten bucks and then proceeded to grip Sam's upper arm and speed wake away from the scene. They managed to get away but people were still glancing at the two as Freddie pulled her down a different row of little shops. He glanced around the corners and found that they were safe for the time being.

"Everytime, you never fail to do something bad."

"What? He's the one who got too close." she grumbled still clinging to the ham in her arms. "I thought he was going to steal my ham."

"You are unbelievable." he shook his head and started walking towards some random stands.

"Oh look, just what I need!" she grinned at him while holding up a huge skillet and equally large spatula.

"Really?" he asked eyeing the large item as though it were a dangerous animal. Sam with a large, heavy device was just too scary for words.

"Yup! I've been wanting to get a good sized one to make stir fry." she shrugged and put it down.

"Can I ask you something?" he said as they headed toward the exit. With the umbrella over them they squished together as the rain came down heavier. It would have been romantic if not for the fact that Sam was hugging her ham like a security blanket and giving him a guarded look.

"What, Fredifer?" she groaned, feeling cold.

"Why didn't you get me a birthday present? I mean I would have been fine with a punch to the face even but..." he trailed off feeling uncomfortable about asking. She stopped walking and looked at him as though he were crazy.

"What are you going on about? I did get you something you idiot."

"No you didn't."

"Yeah I did." she argued back and looked up at him with a frown.

"I don't remember you giving me anything."

"I put it in your room."

"What?" he thought for a moment and tried to picture his neat and tidy room with a gift from Sam in it. Nothing came to mind, then again he hadn't spent much time there, except for sleeping.

"You didn't even notice it? No wonder you were all weird. You are such a big baby, Benson." she shook her head and pulled at the hand with the umbrella in it and he automatically started to walk again.

When they passed the pet store Sam gave the little puppy in the corner another glance and then she pushed him past, towards his car.

"I'm sorry, I just didn't see anything in there." he said starting up the car.

"And you call me 'unbelievable'!" she huffed and glared over at him. "And you actually thought all this time that I didn't get you a gift?"

"Well I wouldn't have been surprised if you didn't." he shrugged. "I wasn't at the time, just disappointed." he admitted.

"That night ended in a bad way so I didn't bother to tell you that I left it in your room. I just thought you found it and didn't like it." she said in a bored tone and looked out the window.

"I'll look again when I get home later." he drove down the street to the first light and stopped. "So what do you want to do today?" he asked changing the mood from just a second ago.

"I want coffee." she demanded and switched the track to the CD she had playing earlier. There were a few tracks he'd never heard before which were kind of catchy. "And cheesecake!"

"Fine." he rolled his eyes and headed for a little family owned coffee shop he'd read about online. Someone suggested that he go there and try the banana nut muffins.

Sam bobbed her head to the music as she usually did and he wondered what was going on in that head of hers. It still made he wonder about the whole Physics thing. How could someone like Sam actually like that subject? He shook his head and pulled into the next place on their list of things to do.

The place was once a house, but was reconfigured to be run as a business. It was really interesting, it had about six different rooms with random things in it. Sam ordered first and wanted a Cafe Mocha with extra whipped cream and a nice slab of cheesecake. Freddie got a Mocha Cappuccino and a warm banana nut muffin. They ventured through the random rooms until they found one that wasn't filled with people and sat down at the table. Inside this room there were different types of paint and stacks of thick paper. Sam grabbed some of the equipment and started to paint. He just sat back and observed her as she swirled and dipped all over the page.

He still had no idea how he was going to get her to be with him completely. That was still weird to think or even feel at times because it was Sam who he wanted to give his heart to. She might try to beat it or feed it to a rabid animal or something.

She looked up from her picture and tilted her head to the side, in that cute way when she was thoughtful. He smiled at her and she smirked back at him. They held each others eyes for a moment and then it broke as a clap of thunder sounded over the coffee shop.

* * *

Around five that afternoon they arrived back at Bushwell and stood in the hallway between the two doors looking at each other. Sam had been wondering lately why the nub wouldn't kiss her like he used to. Not that his kisses were any less intense but they weren't as frequent. She wondered why he was holding back on her so much.

She stepped forward toward him and he looked slightly ruffled by this act and stepped back a little bit.

"Benson, what's your problem?" he demanded pushing him into the door.

"What do you mean?" he asked looking around the empty hallway and making sure not to put his hands near her.

"You've been avoiding this and I've allowed it but not anymore. Whenever you drop me off you give me a little peck and disappear into your apartment."

"So you want me to kiss you more?" he asked confused.

She paused for a moment and looked a bit shocked at what she had just brought up. She wasn't supposed to admit that she missed him kissing her at random like they used to. When had they become a 'they'? She shook her head and got to the point with her nerd. Her nerd? Ugh!

"Why wouldn't you want to?" she demanded, gripping his shirt collar and shaking it lightly.

"What? Sam, I never said...what are you talking about?" he asked confused as she continue to give him a scary glare with her big blue eyes. Even though he should have been scared of her he was still terribly turned on by her as well. It was just so twisted, it even sounded so in his head. She continued to complain and shake him while calling him her favorite nicknames for him and he wasn't really paying any attention.

It wasn't until she started to push is back into the door of his apartment that he finally snapped. She found herself being pulled into his arms and swirled around so that she was against the door this time. Normally she would have punched anyone who dare do this to her, but it was the dork and he was complying so she allowed it. He bent down and pressed his lips into hers and nipped on her lower lip, asking for entrance. She smiled into his lips and allowed him in. While kissing her he managed to get the door to his apartment opened and led them inside. He already knew that his mother wasn't home, she was at work, like always. He closed the door and led her to the couch where they found themselves falling to.

The feel of his hands running up her stomach was just too much for her to handle and she let out a groan. It pained her to do so, to give away the fact that he had her in these moments together.

He could feel her heart-rate increase as their chests pressed closer together.

"Sam..." he whispered against her neck as he left kisses down it and nipped at it.

She couldn't even form the words to tell him how much she liked how he said her name. It still bothered her that she didn't find out why he was avoiding this. It didn't matter at the moment though, he was giving her exactly what she wanted.

* * *

**Panda Note:** Yo peeps! Okay so here ya go. I actually didn't like how this chapter went but yet its fine...I suppose. I loved writing the first part though it was super fun. So let me know what you think. I don't know what day I'll update next, I think I need to give my brain a break and get some inspiration, plus when I'm all sad or annoyed I have trouble writing, which is the case right now. Ugh. Oh and sorry if there's grammar errors, I'm using an iBook and it difficult catch things on it.

So go review please, reviews give me a boost to write faster! Hint hint!

I need chocolate....

Thanks to all you awesome people who review and make me feel so special!

**REVIEWS I CAN'T REPLY TO:**

**iheartseddie4eva** - Will do!

**Hilary** - I so understand what ya mean, I love it too! I'm glad that you enjoyed reading this and complimented it so :D that makes me happy!

**Seddie101** - yeah Carly can be like that at times! lol Oh I know right? I can't wait either!! O_O yes!!!!


	13. Sam's Birthday

**Disclaimer:** I don't down iCarly, really I swear I'm not awesome like that. So I'm just fanfiction writer. Woop! Oh and also so I don't get into trouble the musical artists whose music appeared in the previous chapters are: Mae, Megan McCauley-Wonder, from the end scene of Freddie's birthday, the song in the background. Oh and the song that was mentioned, sort of in the studio scene with Roger and Sam, that was The Vincent Black Shadow's - Don't Make Me So Sad, which is a great song. So don't sue me cause I'm broke and all I have is my cheese. Also if there's anything else that I mentioned that is copyrighted then I do not own it, I only mentioned to so everyone can love it as much as I do.

**Panda Note: **Oh and please don't mind the minor errors, I'm currently working on a different laptop that has really bad programming and word processors. So meh, this is human error included. You've been warned haha.

**Chapter Twelve

* * *

**

It was the day before Sam's birthday and everyone in her life was putting the final touches on her big day. She already knew that they were going to throw her a party but she still liked to be surprised. Freddie kept grinning like a moron all morning, from the time he came over that morning up until lunch. It was getting on her nerves, that look meant he had a big secret that he couldn't wait to share. That grin on his face reminded her of the time he tried to get detention by sealing their teacher's stapler. It didn't go as he planned though but it was still kind of cute in a nerdy sort of way.

She had to admit that she loved it when he tried to be bad, yet he could never really be truly bad. It was nice of him to try though and she got some amusement out of his attempts. Yet Freddie didn't really have a bad boy underneath all that nerdiness, he was a good boy, most of the time. The only times he'd ever been 'un-Freddie-like' was when they fought, other times he wasn't as high strung. She knew she brought the worst or best out of him, she wasn't sure. Or maybe he was more 'Freddie-like' when they fought?

"Will you stop grinning like that, you're freaking me out?" she finally said and took a large bite out of the sandwich that he'd made her that morning. It made her a happy Sam when he made her food, she always seemed to forget to grab hers in the morning.

"What? I'm not grinning." he started wiggling in his seat and still smiling at her like a loon. The boy had serious issues with secrets and that face of his, in her opinion.

"Dude, you're being even more of a dork than you usually are. How am I supposed to associate with you when you're acting like this?" she shook her head in a disappointed way and continued to eat. As much as she enjoyed their time together when he acted like this it was just a reminder of who Fredward Benson was underneath the 'make-out king' that she knew. It didn't matter though that he was a spaz, he was fun this way as well. It kept things interesting for her that was for sure.

"That's just rude Sam." he snapped at her and pouted at his apple. It didn't give him any sort of comfort though, it just sat there being all shiny and green. What sort of apple didn't give you the answers to life?

"It's not going to be your friend either ya know?" she laughed and reached over to grab it. He lightly smacked at her hand and moved the apple from her reach. "Hey!" she frowned and kicked him under the table.

"Don't kick me Sam!" he yelled at her and almost fell off his seat.

"Don't tell me what to do Benson!" she kicked him again and he cried out in pain and rubbed his knee. She smirked at him and gave one more kick for good measure. "You are not the boss of me!"

The apple rolled toward her then and she took a nice big bite out of it. After a few more bites she handed it back to him and he looked at it with a disgusted frown on his face.

"Oh come on, you'll put your tongue in my mouth but you won't eat off of food I do?" she smirked as his face lit up bright pink. "Does that make any sense to? I bet you're afraid." she shot him a sly smirk and he glared at her. He couldn't believe she just said that openly for anyone to hear. Worst of all he couldn't get the blush off his face.

He took the half eaten apple into his hand and raised it to his lips and took a nice healthy bite out of a spot where she had ate from. His eyebrows wiggled as he got that cocky smile on his face. She just rolled her eyes and went back to her lunch. It didn't feel like a solid victory to him but maybe he just needed to prove it more to himself that he wasn't a complete clean freak who feared 'germs'.

She'd grown fond of their lunches together, he always made her a lunch and it was always something she enjoyed scarfing down. She sneaked her delicate fingers across the table and snatched up a few of his potato chips and stuffed them into her mouth. He shook his head at this and pushed the bag over to her side. It made he wonder why he even bothered to buy them for himself when she'd just eat them all anyways.

"So what's Roger doing for your birthday?" he asked as they headed toward the trash can.

"He's taking me out on Sunday but he's going to stop by to drop off my present before the party." she pushed the door to the hallway opened and stepped out. The masses were swarming about, rushing to get to their lockers before the next of their classes started.

"Sounds fun."

"I suppose so, he's got something planned." she shrugged and waited for him to grab his book for the next class.

He smiled at her as she looked through her book, which he had found out was really her physics textbook. When she got up the other night from 'studying' to go get a drink and she had left the book on the beanbag chair. He opened it and felt his brain malfunction for a second as he tried to read a sentence of the page she was on.

It still amazed him that there was a genius up there in that blond head of hers. There was just so much he knew that he couldn't say out loud to her. But he understood her so much better now. Like the conversation she had with Carly that one night when they were fighting.

She cared about his future! She felt she'd be a hindrance to his future because she thought she wasn't good enough for him. At least this was his interpretation of the entire rant. But he knew she was wrong, dead wrong, he needed her in his life for it to make sense. Which was why he needed her to see this, that he would be worse off without her. But how could he begin to explain this all to her?

Then there was what Carly was going to say before Sam had stopped her. What was she going to say?

She looked up at him and scrunched up her eyebrows as if asking him what was up. He shrugged and joined her. He'd think more later about what that conversation had meant.

**

* * *

**

After school he met up with Carly and Sam who were gathering their books for the weekend. Sam shoved as much in her bag as she could and flung it over her shoulder. She made it look like it was as light as a feather, while he struggled with his.

Carly had vanished when they got to school, he was sure that she was with David. Speaking of David, he came around the corner just then and greeted Carly with a light smile. If it was at all possible Carly glowed even more than she usually did, with happiness.

"You ready?" he asked grabbing her bag out of her hands and flinging it over his shoulder.

"Oh, yeah. I'll meet you in the parking lot." she smiled up at him and Sam and Freddie watched the exchange in wonder. Carly and David were an interesting pair. He sort of balanced her out, which she needed badly. He didn't get all lovey dovey with her and they had real honest conversations. He was a really nice guy and seemed like a perfect match for Carly. He even knew how to calm her down when she was having an 'episode' about just about anything. It seemed that he was cut out for this gig as her boyfriend.

"Okay." he replied and looked over at the pair standing next to Sam's locker. "Hey Sam, Freddie. I'll catch you guys later." he waved and then left, though he gave the pair a strange look before departing. Sam and Freddie shrugged at the same time and turned their attention back to Carly. They were on good terms with David, though they didn't really see him much, unless he was hanging out with Carly.

"Are you going to be back in time for the show?" the blond asked raising an eyebrow at her friend.

"Oh yeah, I'll be back by five."

"Alright, better go find your boy before he decides to leave ya here." she grinned and Carly could only shake her head at this. Carly took a quick look at the pair, standing there before her and they just looked so right.

"I'll see you guys later, stay out of trouble!" she called over her shoulder and vanished out the front door toward the parking lot.

"Ready to go?" he asked and she nodded and headed the way Carly had just gone. It was still raining out and Freddie had made sure to bring his umbrella for them. The parking lot was emptying out when they reached his car, he had to part pretty far that morning. Sam squished into him as they neared the car, needing his warmth, her arms were getting cold as well as her nose.

Sam ducked into the car as he held the umbrella over her head so she wouldn't get wet. She kept it to herself, but she loved that he was such a 'gentlemen', but not always, just moments like this. Smiling to herself she waiting for him to get in from the rain. He slipped in next to her and was slightly wet from having to close the umbrella. He grinned at her and shook his head lightly, causing some of the water in his hair to get on her. Laughing she wiped some of it off of her face and rubbed it on his moist shirt.

As they made their way out the parking lot of Ridgeway High School she noticed that he was going the wrong way.

"Fredwad, where are we going, home is that way." she pointed out the window at the street the usually took to Bushwell. "There's some ham I wanna eat."

"We have to go pick up your birthday present." he rolled his eyes but was still grinning like a crazy person.

"What did you get me?" she asked hoping it was ham. She couldn't believe that the dork actually was excited about giving her a gift. What was this world coming to?

"You'll see as soon as we get there." he laughed.

"Aw come on tell me!" she started to shake his arms, which caused the wheel to swerve slightly.

"Sam!" he yelled pushing her hand away. "You can't keep doing that, we're going to end up getting into an accident." he frowned at her and she rolled her eyes but kept her hands to herself.

"Then tell me what you got me."

"We're almost there, just be patient, geez woman." he grumbled and turned into a residential area with two story homes and big front yards.

"Who lives here?" she pressed her face to the window to get a good look at each house they passed.

"My uncle Tim, he's got your present."

He pulled up near a white, two story house with a large green front yard and an equally large garage. Freddie parked completely inside and stepped out, Sam followed. They were greeted by a ruggedly handsome man who looked like a lumberjack. Sam had to blink a few times to actually make sure she wasn't in a dream. The inside of the garage was huge though and the truck was at least five feet away from where they were standing. There was enough room in that garage to fit three trucks inside.

"Hey Freddie!" he called them over from his position behind his truck. It looked like he was working on his engine. "Is it time?" he asked Freddie who just nodded. He turned his attention to Sam and he smiled at her. "You must be Sam." he held out his hand to her but she looked at him like he was insane. He shrugged it off and pulled his hand back.

"You would be right." she said as soon as his hand was gone.

"It's finally nice to meet you." he gave Freddie a knowing glance and the young tech producer blushed a bit. Sam noticed this and shot her friend a glare.

"I wouldn't believe everything that Freddork says." she folded her arms and leaned more on her left foot.

"Well let me go get your present." he smiled and headed for a door connecting to the house. Sam looked up at Freddie and he smiled down at her. What was with these guys and smiling like loons? She kept wondering as she stood in the garage what Freddie could have got her for her birthday that required his uncle to watch over. It could have been just about anything, but it was obviously something important.

Just as her mind started to go through different possibilities, Freddie's uncle called out from the door to have Sam close her eyes. She frowned and glared up at Freddie who shot her a look, as if saying 'just do it'. Sighing she placed both her hands over her eyes and huffed as she heard footsteps coming toward them.

"You ready to receive your gift?" there were other sounds besides Tim's voice, little whimpers were coming from the same location.

"Lay it on me." she said getting antsy. One thing about Freddie was that he always gave awesome presents.

"Well open your eyes." he chuckled and she pulled her hands away and opened her eyes.

She stared wide eyed at the small puppy in his arms, those eyes that had looked at her from behind glass just a few weeks ago. That sad little puppy that didn't want to join in on scratching the glass in vein, trying to get someone to adopt them. His coat was an amazing brown shade, with his cute little ears and fluffy fur, he was amazingly adorable. Her heart felt like it was being dipped into sugar as she looked into his little face.

Their eyes locked and the puppy tilted his head to the side and tried to break free from Tim's grip to get to Sam. It was the most amazing this to her, this puppy was meant for her, just as she was for him. She could tell it was a boy, it was a gift of hers really and she was glad for it. He looked like a little scrapper, just like her. That thought brought a smile to her lips. They say that a person doesn't pick the dog but rather the dog picks it's owner and this little guy found that person in Sam. Was it at all to be in love with a creature she had only just met?

Tim laughed and held out the puppy to her and she gladly took him into her arms. He was still very small, a little bigger than her hand. His little paws leaned against her collarbone as he licked her chin happily. She laughed and stroked his small soft back and made sure she had a nice hold on him. His little nub of a tail wagged rapidly as he continued to lick at her face.

"He likes you, that's good." comment Tim nodded and admiring the scene before him.

"Yeah it wouldn't been so good if he hated me. What would I have done then?" she rolled her eyes at Freddie's young, hot uncle and continued to give attention to her new puppy.

Freddie watched on and was so ecstatic over the fact that she loved her gift. The pet store had said that no one would adopt him, because he just wasn't as hyperactive as the other dogs. He had just been brought in after his mother had been run over. He didn't react well to humans either which was another reason people overlooked him. In a way the little pup was much like Sam, she was constantly overlooked but just needed someone else to make her feel like she mattered. It was just so sad to hear and he knew then and there that this little puppy was perfect for Sam. The poor little guy must have known it that day too, because he practically came to life when he saw Freddie coming over with the owner to retrieve him. The pup belonged with Sam, from the moment their eyes met at that store up until the moment he was reunited with her.

Sam placed the puppy into Tim's arms for a moment and turned to Freddie. Before he knew what was happening she was hugging him around the waist tightly and doing a little dance at the same time. He was so shocked that he didn't know what to do, so he placed his arms around her shoulders and held onto her. She usually never hugged him to thank him or for that matter she never thanked him either. Granted they had become quite close over the past few months, more so than the past few years, but still. Sam hugging him was like Carly hugging a hobo. Not that he was a hobo but Carly would never hug a hobo. But this was like something out of the Twilight Zone, what was going to happen next, was she going to confess her eternal love for him? Wait, maybe that should happen, then this ridiculous charade could end and they could be together!

"Uh, Sam?" she stopped moving when she heard his voice and looked up. It became apparent that she had caught him off guard and even surprised herself with the force of her hug, the actual feelings behind it. Untangling her arms from his waist she stepped back and punched him in the arm playfully, trying to get rid of the awkward moment. It was just funny that they could wrap themselves in each other, in situations of the intimate nature, yet hugging was like all new territory. It just seemed like it was more intimate then actual intimacy.

"Thanks for Hammy." she said uncomfortably, putting a little space between them.

"Hammy?" he said loudly in shock. Of all the names in the world she had to name the poor dog 'Hammy'? What did that pup ever do to deserve this?

"What? I love ham and look he likes his name. Right Hammy?" she smiled when the puppy yipped happily in Tim's arms at her. He then turned his attention to Freddie and yipped at him as well. Freddie went to him and scratched his little head and Hammy gleefully accepted it and began to lick his hand.

"Looks like you two are parents." his uncle said causing the two to blotch at this. "He can only have one master, but it seems that he's already grown fond of you Freddie. It might have something to do with the fact that you 'rescued' him from the pet store." he shrugged and handed the pup back to Sam. "And he chose you Sam." he added watching as the puppy gave Sam some love.

* * *

"Hammy?" Carly asked looking at the pup that had decided to climb out of Sam's hold and trot over to where Spencer was in the kitchen. He tugged lightly at his pant leg and Spencer bent down to scoop him up. Freddie had departed from the group when they got back to go set up for the show. The girls remained downstairs with Hammy and Spencer.

"I like it!" grinned Spencer who began to make faces at the puppy while scratching his little tummy. "You're a cute puppy, aren't you Hammy, aren't you boy?" he said in a funny voice and receive happy noises from the little pup.

"Hammy is perfect Carls. He needed a name and he approved of it, so meh!" Sam stuck out her tongue at Carly who rolled her eyes.

"I'm glad Freddo gave him to you early, I've been wanting to meet this little guy all week!" Spencer called from the kitchen.

"You guys knew that I was getting him?"

"Well yeah, Freddie wanted to make sure it was okay first before he went out and got you a dog." Spencer stated and stood near the counter with the pup, petting him on the head.

"Trust me it wasn't easy keeping it a secret for so long." Carly confessed. "I wanted to tell you a few days ago when he asked but he made me ankle swear."

"Well he's an awesome little guy." Sam looked over at Hammy and couldn't hold back her smile as the pup looked over at her as well. He yipped and tried for a moment to jump out of Spencer's hands.

"Don't Hammy." she told him giving him a stern look. He stopped trying to escape Spencer and just got comfortable where he was. "Good boy." she grinned and his little nub began to wag at the approval of his good behavior.

"Wow Sam, he listens to you and everything." gushed Carly. "It's so cute that Freddie got you Hammy!" Sam had to resist the urge to roll her eyes. "But why did he want to get you a dog?" Carly gave Sam a squinted look as if trying to read her thoughts.

"It's nothing, we just saw him at a pet store and the little guy looked all sad and wasn't hangin' with the other dogs." she shrugged, trying to hide the fact that the puppy had pulled at her heartstrings a few weeks ago. Freddie had noticed obviously and that was bad enough, Carly didn't need to know that she could be brought down by a cute fluffy puppy.

Freddie came downstairs soon after and announced that it was almost time to start the show. Spencer was still playing with Hammy as the girls got into the elevator.

"I'll look after him Mama Sam." he laughed and went to sit in front of the computer monitor to watch the show.

Upstairs Freddie stood before his camera and got things set up for their show. He made sure to have the right software up as well as checking the lighting, the usual things he did. Sam and Carly entered the studio and were gabbing like always, right before a show. He drowned their 'girl talk' out like he always did, to hold onto some of his masculinity. There were just some things that they talked about that had nothing to do with him.

Sam looked especially nice today, he noticed. Had she looked this nice earlier when they were picking up Hammy? All he could remember was that her big blue eyes were so happy with receiving her puppy that nothing else seemed to penetrate his thought process. She wasn't wearing anything special or even changed out of her outfit but something was definitely different about her at that moment. She glanced up for a second and raised an eyebrow at him.

"You guys ready for this one?" he asked picking up his camera, trying to block out her eyes with his tasks.

"Yeah yeah, just get to the countdown, dork." Sam snipped at him and just rolled his eyes. He threw her remote to her and she caught it effortlessly. It seemed as though all her remarks were nothing but hollow jabs. Not even her pranks held the same old sting they used to. Had they reached a point of comfort where nothing they did to each other bothered them? Where was the fun in that if they couldn't get under each others skins? No they weren't anywhere near that level yet, he still got pissed off when she damaged his property and stole his wallet.

"Ready, in 5, 4, 3, 2...." he pointed at them as the camera turned on and started to broadcast live.

Carly and Sam stood next to one another and looked into the camera with their faces contorted into concerned expressions.

"If you are looking for a way to improve your love life," started Carly pointing into the camera.

"Then you've come to the wrong place." Sam leaned towards the camera and looked into it with her mouth opened wide while smiling. Freddie chuckled at this and shook his head at her silliness.

"But if you're looking to laugh you banana peels off," Carly started again smirking.

"Then congratulation, you just entered iCarly, where we make all your dreams come true." she wiggled her fingers in front of her face in a feathery fashion and moved them to her left and right, looking as though she had just performed a magic trick.

"Really?" Carly asked looking at her best friend in confusion.

"No!" she yelled out and bobbed her head side to side. "But we do have a rockin' show for you tonight."

"That we do Cam!"

"You bet Sarly!"

The did a double take and looked at one another and shook their heads.

"Wait that's not right." Sam switched places with Carly and tried it again.

"I'm Carly." she did a little skip and popped her leg back.

"That must mean I'm Sam!" she started to play the air guitar while looking intensely into the camera. They both shared a laugh for a moment and then out of nowhere their faces got serious.

"On tonight's show," Sam started, in an ominus voice as the lighting dimmed a bit. "We're going to take you into the boils of a place so foul and disturbing that young children should probably leave the room." she stepped away from the camera and Carly took over.

"Tonight, we'll be visiting the foulest man on the planet. Hide your forks people, this is going to get scary." she joined Sam and the lighting went back to normal.

"Okay enough of that." laughed Sam and skipped over to the lens of the camera and pressed her face as close as she couldn't. "We're bringing back an old favorite." Carly pressed her face against Sam's and nodded into her head. The two friends stepped back and linked arms.

"As you know, we have an awful doorman,"

"Lewbert!" Sam yelped out looking around her scared.

"So tonight we bring you Lewbert à la mode." they both pointed to the television screen that had come out during their little introduction. Freddie started the video of Lewbert being pelted with nice snowball sized ice cream balls. He shrieked his annoying shriek and tried to run from the ice cream, which were flying from everywhere possible. He managed to get in front of his desk but slipped on the ice cream and was soon barely visible underneath the frozen treat. The web personalities laughed as the video cut out with Lewbert still yelling about being sticky.

"Wasn't that smooth and creamy?" Sam asked giving their audience a sly look.

The show continued on in that fashion. Sam and Freddie had one of their random debates, which eventually led to smacking and pushing along with name calling. Carly had to get the spray bottle and they stopped, looking at her with pouts on their faces.

Just before the show was coming to a close Freddie switched the camera to the secondary one and came out to join his two friends, Sam right in between him and Carly.

"As you know, tomorrow Sam turns eighteen." Carly told everyone in cyber world.

"So do your part to wish her a happy birthday by going online to the iCarly website and submitting your best wishes for the almost birthday girl." Freddie finished doing his best impression of a game-show host, he even added a slightly bent index finger movement in there.

"Wow, when I thought you reached the peek of dork mountain you find another cliff to climb." she gaped at Freddie he shot her a dirty look. Carly shot them a nervous glance and started getting jittery when she was feeling out of sorts.

"That concludes the show tonight. Water you foot fungus." she informed the audience.

"Stuff your lockers with cheese." Sam added.

"And don't forget to defrag your disk drive." added Freddie smirking down at Sam, knowing she'd love that line.

"Good night!" the three yelled and Freddie went to shut down live feed for the night.

"Great show tonight guys." he told the two who had decided to plop down in their usual beanbag chairs.

"Until you ruined it with your face." Sam commented with a bored look on her face.

He decided that he wasn't even going to reply to that. With all his stuff loaded onto the cart he headed toward the elevator with it and pressed the button to go to the Shay's living room.

When he got down though he found that Sam was already down there waiting for him to get off. She grinned at him while Hammy curled up into her shoulder, her hands supporting his little body.

"That was fast." he stated and pushed his cart towards the door. Spencer was standing over in the kitchen, cooking up dinner. He had handed Hammy over to his 'mama' when she came rushing down the stairs. The little pup kept trying to get into the monitor where Sam was, as though it were possible. He explained to the little guy that though it would be so cool if you could reach into screens and pull stuff out, it wasn't possible. Hammy didn't like it one bit. It was clear to Spencer then that the pup had already associated Sam as his mother and caregiver without spending much time with her.

"I couldn't let you leave just yet." the look in her eyes told him that she was up to something. At times he wondered if it was wise to allow whatever she planned to happen. "Hammy, I want you to stay right by Spencer until I come back in, okay? she asked the pup in her arms. Hammy tilted his head to the side and gave her yip in reply. She sat him down on the ground and he scurried over to where Spencer was still cooking dinner. He plopped his bottom onto the floor and watched as Spencer moved around to the music in his pearpod shuffle.

Sam's face lit up as she looked into Freddie's eyes. He couldn't quite tell what was passing in her eyes as she came over to him and started to push his cart toward the front door. Her slim fingers pushed his out of the way as she reached door and exited the loft. The air in the hallway tickled the sides of her exposed ankles as he joined her.

In the past few weeks she continued to get pulled into those feelings she wanted to ignore and wasn't really sure how much longer she could avoid them. If she gave in then she'd be doing more damage, what they had going would come to an end soon enough. She could live with having to watch him walk away and live his life but she couldn't allow herself to completely attach herself to the point that she wouldn't be able to give him up. That's exactly what would happen, when it came time to set him free she just knew she'd hold onto him for dear life. It just wouldn't be fair to him to make he choose between a promising future and something that wouldn't last.

She frowned as he went to open up the door to his apartment. It was apparent that Mrs. Benson didn't want to be around either of them, it had been over a month since she'd actually had a full conversation with the woman. Not that she missed the woman at all, it was great practice for Freddie to get used to being away from home, as well as for that nut of a woman.

Should she just blurt it out, how she feels about the dork? He was just like every other boy in the world and she was just a girl as well. Why did it have to be so difficult to just say the words, to take his face in her hands and look him deep in the irises and tell him that she...

"Sam?" a hand began to wave before her eyes and she had to shake her head to clear away where her thoughts had wander to. After internally scolding herself she helped him push his cart into the empty apartment and stood on the threshold feeling suddenly uncomfortable. Her eyes fell on the couch sitting up against the wall and recalled that night they stumbled into his place and onto it. It got intense and Freddie had to force himself to stop before things got out of hand. She could understand what he meant now, he'd been trying to avoid having things get too serious between them. She wasn't sure if she liked that thought, being causal, even though it was her idea. "Sam?" she blinked a few times and looked up at him still slightly confused.

"Huh?"

"Are you okay? You look like someone stole your ham." he grinned and she could have sworn that there were angels singing somewhere. She wanted to punch herself in the face for even thinking that. Freddie didn't bring about singing angels by just grinning at her like he just did. In fact whenever she saw him grin all she could hear was his voice, talking about nerd related things that she didn't understand at times. Sure she was a wiz at Physics and found it interesting but that didn't make her 'smart' like Freddie. She didn't give a damn about anything else having to do with school, it couldn't be helped. Which was another reason why they would never work. He cared too much about schoolwork and being proper and orderly, she didn't.

"Oh, yeah I'm good." she tried to sound like she was okay, but really she was shocked by her own thoughts. Just when she thought she had crushed those feelings and shoved them into a six foot deep hole they found a way to climb out. "I'm just going to head back now. Later." she could hear her voice slightly squeak as she said this and it worried her a great deal that he might have heard.

His worried expression was set onto his nerdy face as he looked down at her. They were only a few inches apart but he made sure to close the gap by standing right in front of her. She could feel the door frame pressed into her back and her heartbeat increasing.

Just as she started to moved out into the hall he blocked her from leaving. The boy had some serious death wish, she should be breaking some bones right about now. But instead she pauses and stands there like a deer in the headlights of a nice looking car going 100 mph. She had to remember how to breathe for a moment as he looked into her eyes.

When had all of this even started? Why had these sparks decided to ignite now of all times and not years ago when things were simpler. Maybe things were exactly 'simple' then but they just seemed to be getting more complex over time.

"Good night, Fredwad." she said through tight lips and attempted to inch closer towards the exit. He grabbed her by the arms and stopped her from her poor attempt to escape.

"Hold on a minute, would you?"

There had to be something seriously wrong with her for him to stop her from just leaving. The temperature in the room seemed to be climbing steadily as they stood there.

"What?" she at least sounded like herself, she definitely didn't feel like it though.

"I wanted to show you something." he smirked at her and took her hands in his and led her inside. She glanced back at the Shay's door and wished she had just made a run for it. "You remember when you said you got me a gift and I didn't see it?"

"Yeah?"

"Well you gave me a choice on that certificate you got me," she just nodded remember the gift quite well. He had mentioned a while back that after the whole tattoo experience he wanted to get a real one, but it was too expensive, especially for what he wanted. It was a nice shock to know what the dork was interesting in tattoos, all because of a stupid bet. So she gave him two options, a free tattoo or 'A week of Sam as his slave'.

"Which one did you decide on?" she found herself asking, coming out of the shock of just realizing something she really didn't need to realize.

"That's what I wanted to show you." It became clear to her which he decided on as he closed the door to his apartment. With one swift motion his back was turned and his shirt was being lifted up to reveal a nicely designed tattoo on his back. It was large, and it took her a moment to take it all in, the different colors and amazing detailed work. It was so unlike Freddie though, yet it looked amazing on his back. She moved a little closer and touched it with the tips of her fingers, following the lines and curves of his back.

His body visibly shivered under her touch but she didn't stop until he allowed his shirt to fall back into place and turn around to face her.

"Well?" he asked trying to ignore the fact that he could still feel her fingertips along his back.

"It's pretty cool, for a dorks tattoo." she shrugged and he rolled his eyes at her comment.

"That's all you have to say?"

"I'm not at all surprised that you got it."

"Why?"

"Because you like pain, we've already established this." she smirked and folded her arms. "So if that's all, I'm going to go home and stuff my face." she turned and started to open the door but didn't get too far. His hands shot out to stop her."Damn it Benson what is with you? I just want to get home and eat and you keep stopping me! What is it?" she snapped at him and looked up to see him staring down at her with that intense gaze he always fixed on her just before he was going to kiss her. She felt the door contact with her back but it didn't matter, her heart was on fire and her whole body was shaking from anticipation.

He scooped up her face into his hands and kissed her deeply, the sensations ran from the roots of her hair to the tips of her toes. She felt herself pull him in and kiss him with just as much need. Before it could get too intense he pulled back and held her by the shoulders.

"Thanks for the gift." she mumbled, still a bit dazed by their kiss.

"Thanks for the gift you gave me too."

* * *

Sam woke the next morning as Hammy jumped on her back, getting caught up in her hair. He yipped happily once he heard that she was awake. He'd spent the past few hours walking around the area she dubbed her room. He couldn't get out of that area though due to fence that she'd placed so he wouldn't get into anything. He was still quite small and could easily get hurt without some sort of supervision. Freddie had made sure to get her everything she needed for Hammy, a leash, dog bowls, collar without a name tag and food. He even got her this little square fence thing that had no top but kept the puppy out of trouble if you were preoccupied. Freddie would so think of something like that.

Hammy ducked behind the mass of blankets, his butt sticking up in the air, nub wagging happily. She covered her head and he jumped over and tried to get underneath it to find her missing head.

"Not yet Hammy." she grumbled turning over. He whined and nudged her with his nose. "Just five more minutes." she whispered and started to drift off again. He nipped at her nose until she opened her eyes and looked into his. "You know."she started in a raspy voice. "You're lucky that you're cute, mister." he licked her cheek. "Alright I'm up." she sat up and he jumped all over her, running back and forth between her and the end of the bed.

She removed the fence blocking the entrance and he ran out into the studio and followed her to the elevator. She stepped in and he followed her and plopped his behind onto the floor and looked up at her. Their first night as roommates had gone over quite well, he knew that it was time for sleep and got into the bed on the pillow next to her and curled up. He occasionally would get up and move around, at one point he ended up laying on her calve under the blanket.

"You hungry?" she asked scratching at her messy hair, that he had rolled around in for five minutes.

When they reached the kitchen Spencer was cooking up a huge breakfast and doing his happy dance, singing about how he was cooking up food for people who like to eat. Carly was sitting on the couch flipping through channels, finding nothing worth watching. The moment Hammy got downstairs he went over and jumped on her and licked her a few times then darted to the kitchen to pull on Spencer's pajama bottoms.

"Hey Hammy!" Spencer greeted and bent down to pat his little head. "Did your mama feed you?" the pup in turn tilted his head to the side at the mention of food, his nub wagging, little paws bouncing on the ground.

"Hammy," Sam called and Spencer watched the pup rush off to the sound of her voice.

His food bowl sat near the island with a nice serving of dog food in it, soft food. He dug in and she grinned to herself. He was so her dog!

There was a knock at the door then and then Freddie walked in still dressed in his pajamas. His hair was all over the place as he crossed the living room and plopped down on the couch. He managed a good morning to everyone and a happy birthday Sam before slumping further into the couch. Hammy had heard Freddie's voice and perked up his little ears and darted to the couch in a frenzy. He jumped up and sat in Freddie's lap.

"Hey there Hams." he scratched the little pup's ear and received a soft jolt to his leg, by Hammy's foot. "What do you think about going to the park today little guy?"

Hammy's response was to lean against Freddie's chest and lick his cheek.

"The park?" Sam asked sitting down right next to Freddie, her legs hanging all over him.

"Yeah? You got a problem with that?"

"Maybe I don't want to go to the park." Hammy looked over at her and his ears fell down against his face. He whimpered at her and she groaned. "How do you do it Hammy?" she reached out and picked him up from Freddie's chest. "You shouldn't be able to sway me like that, mister." she told the puppy giving him a frown. His response was a lick to the nose. "Oh yeah that's why." she rolled her eyes.

* * *

After breakfast Sam grabbed Hammy's leash and her bag and headed over to Freddie's, he'd gone home to get ready. They found themselves at a local park for dogs, where they spent most of the morning and lunch playing with him and stuffing their faces with hotdogs and fries. Hammy was a pretty well behaved puppy, it was almost unnatural for him to be. Most puppies were untrained and disobedient when they first got home, but not Hammy. He listened to whatever Sam said and understood her perfectly. He also seemed to do the same for Freddie who had to tell him not to bark at the birds.

Another mishap was when a nice elderly couple came up to them as they were sitting on a bench with Hammy curled up in Sam's sweater. It began to get cold out, as the clouds moved to overcast the afternoon. The couple, who's names were Tess and John, they had commented on the pair. They had stated that the two looked like a nice young married couple with their little pup. Sam the proceeded to tell Tess that she should mind her own business and stomped off with Hammy in her arms.

Freddie apologized to the couple for her rudeness and went after her down the sidewalk.

"You don't have to be so rude."

"People irritate me, especially old senile people." she grumbled as they headed for his car. Carly had texted him earlier and said she needed a few more hours to finish decorating.

"They didn't mean anything by it." he opened the door for her and she slid in with Hammy who went back to sleep in her lap.

"Can we go home please?" she leaned her head back against her seat and turned her head to the side to look at him. She gave him the best pouty face she could but he just rolled his eyes at her.

"We can't yet."

"Why not?" she whine and put more lower lip into her pout.

"Because I'm supposed to distract you until stuff is ready."

"Ugh, I need a nap!" she allowed her head to flop to the other side as she watched random stores and cars pass by.

"Fine, we'll go back to my place and you can take a nap." he shook his head as he pulled into the parking area at Bushwell. Sam slugishly worked her way to the elevator and up to their floor. Hammy was still sleeping in her arms as the reached his door and he let them in. Mrs. Benson was grabbing her bag just as the door opened. She looked up for a moment and smiled at the pair. It was just so weird to see her actually look happy. The woman had avoided them, well it seemed like she was avoiding them and now she was all smiling and happy?

"Hey Mrs. B?" she hadn't meant it to sound like a question but that's how it came out.

"Sam." she nodded to her. "How have you been?" she said pleasantly, which caused Sam to stare wide eyed at the woman.

"Uh, alright. You?" she snuck a glance at Freddie who didn't seem as bothered by his mother's behavior.

"Wonderful. Well I need to get to work. I'll see you kids later." she kissed Freddie on the cheek and patted Sam's head and headed out the door.

This had to be some mistake, that woman was not Marissa Benson.

"What was that?" she finally said loudly and let Hammy down so he could go find somewhere to continue his nap.

"My mom's been really happy lately and I don't really know why, but she's not giving me a hard time anymore." he shrugged and went to sit down on the couch. "You can go lay down in my room if you want, Hammy and I will watch some TV."

"I can't sleep now!" she sat down and stretched out on his couch as Hammy settled on her stomach. "Let's watch a movie!"

* * *

Sam was amazed by the massiveness of the party. Her sixteenth birthday had been amazing but this was just tops. Everyone she knew from school had shown up as well as a few of Carly's other friends. When they finished watching a few flicks it was seven and Carly had sent Freddie a text to get to the party, people had already arrived and were all waiting for the birthday girl.

Hammy was a big hit at the party with the ladies. All the girls swarmed to gush over him, which kept him out of trouble for the most part.

Spencer had made her a large cake shaped like a ham with chocolate syrup that was supposed to represent gravy. It was so realistic that Sam almost picked it up and start munching down on it.

Even Roger had made a short appearance to give her a small gift and to tell her happy birthday, his actually big gift was going to happen Sunday. He patted her head and headed out after having some cake.

With presents out of the way that left the rest of the night free to eat and dance. It looked like everyone was having just as much fun as they had at Freddie's as well as Carly's. It worked out so well for the three, they had a few months of parties for each of their birthdays.

Spencer didn't stay out at the party filled with teens too long, he wandered off to his room for the night. Carly and David were battling one another on some video game while Gibby rocked it out with his girlfriend, while everyone else cheered him on.

Freddie found his demon dancing with Wendy and some other girl that she'd become friends with, sort of. He pulled her away and led her toward the kitchen, which she was glad for. She didn't want to continue to play 'co-host' to her birthday part, having to be somewhat polite.

"What's up Fredward?" she grabbed a peppy cola and took a seat on the counter.

"You looked bored over there." he smiled. Really he just wanted her all to himself for the night.

"So you thought I'd be less bored with you?" she laughed.

"Trust me on this, you're never bored with me." he smirked at her and made sure to get close to her without making it look intimate to prying eyes.

"Aren't you the brave one, coming into the lions den." she shot back with an elbow to his head.

"I suppose I am." he worked an arm behind her and wrapped it around her waist while she continued to sit on the counter.

"Let's go upstairs." she suggested. His boy brain was turning over all sorts of possible reasons as to why she wanted to take him upstairs. When had this brain of his ever shot into overdrive like this? "Slow your role Benson, I'm getting sleepy and besides, you kind of are less boring than those girls over there. Don't get any other ideas in that head of yours."she warned and called for Hammy to follow. He trotted over to the elevator and got on with them.

Freddie wasn't sure how he should feel as they exited the elevator and stepped into the studio. He allowed his mind to go to dark places, all of which happened whenever he thought, looked or even smelled Sam. Once they were in her room she put up the little fence so that Hammy wouldn't wander off and get hurt. The dim light in the corner brought off a warm feeling in the room that helped him to relax a bit. They'd been alone many times before but those times always ended in the two having to push each other away or stop themselves from going too far.

Sam removed her shoes and one of her layers and fell onto the left side of her bed. He followed suit and laid down on the other side of the bed. Hammy took his place at the foot of the bed and curled up into a little ball.

They were silent for a while as they both looked up at the ceiling.

"So how about that weather?" he started and she started to laugh at his stupidity.

"Nice one Benson." she pushed herself up a bit and leaned onto her hand to look at him. "Are you really this uncomfortable being in my room with me?" there was a sly tone to the way she said it, like an underlying meaning. He knew though what she meant and blushed. "Come on we've been alone like this before, take it easy. It's not like we're going to 'do it' so just relax." She moved his arm from its position on his chest and placed herself there instead and put his arm over her shoulder. He let out a sigh and she could feel him relax.

They spent about twenty minutes just talking about random things, but Freddie soon fell asleep with his chin resting on top of her head. She was still awake, but just barely and rubbed her cheek into his chest. He turned a bit into her and brought his other hand up to hold onto her tighter. She held back the smile that was daring to surface. It actually felt good to be held like this by him and not because of her teenage hormones. No this was a different feeling completely and she knew she liked it, too much.

"...hmm...Sam..." he mumbled softly in his sleep, rubbing his cheek against her hair. That felt good as well and she played with the little penny on his shirt.

"Yeah?" she asked even though she knew he was sleeping deeply. Her hands left the penny and rubbed against his arms lightly as she felt herself getting sleepy.

"I love you..." he whispered in his sleep and he hugged her to him. The way he said it was almost wistful and beautiful, like watching a sunrise or watching the moon over the ocean. She shook her head and shoved all the fluff from her head. He had just said something shocking, her eyes became wide at this realization and she began to internally panic. He LOVED her? What? She tried to glance up at him but all she could see was his lips, which had a pleased smile on them. How could he love her? Had he loved her all this time and just couldn't tell her?

This changed everything, she couldn't break his heart now, not with knowing about how he really felt about her. Yet another part of her was telling her that this could work to her advantage. She could so easily tear him apart and walk away, setting him free forever, but did she want to now?

She had a lot to think about now, but she'd wait until tomorrow. For now she'd enjoy this moment with him before all hell broke loose.

Snuggling into his chest she found herself drifting off to sleep.

* * *

**Panda Note: **Phew!!! I am really happy about this chapter! I really hope you guys enjoy it :D Cause I really had fun writing this one. After I hit 3,000 words it all just started to flow out. Tomorrow is the big day guys! Who's excited?? I know I am!!! This new episode is going to be the cheese! Expect a few more chapters, it's getting near the end though guys. I'm sad to say that it'll have to end soon. I'm not sure how many more chapters but there's a few more events that will come and then its done. But that's not for a while so sit back and relax for now. Oh and I might have a new poll up soon, I'm thinking of creating another one. So look out for it!

Oh and there's a pic of **Hammy** on my profile now with the other pictures for this story! If you love **Hammy **go look :P

**To the not logged in reviewers:**

**Karlarockangel** - LOL thanks!! I hope you enjoyed this chapter and I worked on it as much as I could, was it good?

**Seddie101** - hey you! lol, I think I sort of gave you what you wanted LOL what did you think?? This last scene played through my head after I posted the last chapter and I was so giddy about writing it! How'd you like?

**The One With** - Why thank you! That's so awesome! I do that too, except I don't have an iPhone :P I have a Samsung Behold, which I usually read stories on when I'm away from a laptop. YES!! I so can't wait either! It's gonna rock our socks!

Okay guys! Oh and if you guys have a twitter or whatever go add me or follow me, the link is on my profile as well as other links to places where people like to go. Don't be afraid.....wooooo lol Okay click the REVIEW button and tell me how you enjoyed this and how much ya loves mehhhh

I had sugar.....sorry :P


	14. University Offers and Elevator Rides

**Disclaimer: **I own Hammy but sadly I don't own iCarly, it wouldn't be as awesome if I did so Dan can continue to own it, unless we raise money for** Luna Moody **and then she can put a spin on things.

**Panda Note:** Yo! Sorry this one took so long but as you can see it's the longest chapter I have so far! This one was a monster of a chapter and I just hope you guys aren't disappointed in it! Well get to reading! :P

**Chapter Thirteen**

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* * *

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The sun hadn't even risen yet but Freddie Benson was wide awake. He turned his head to the side and gazed over at the fluff of blond hair beside him. It all settled into the pit of his stomach as he sighed and continued to watch the sleeping form. Sam grumbled and then turned her body toward his. They were still tangled up at the legs and his arms were still around her. His eyes fell on the alarm clock off on the table and almost jumped up out of the bed, it was nearing 7am. Hi mom was going to be getting off word soon and if she realized he wasn't home he was dead.

As much as he loved being with her at that exact moment he had to leave. Frowning he shifted a bit and untangled himself from her. She groaned and turned toward where his body was and curled up to the pillow he'd slept on.

Hammy was curled up at the bottom of the bed, under the blankets, he could tell by the little lump wiggling. His cute little head popped out and he started to whimper at Freddie as he grabbed his shoes and headed towards the 'door' of her room.

"No, Hams, go back to sleep." he whispered to the little guy who just gave him a sad look and laid back down. "I'll see you later." he promised with a smiled and Hammy's tail began to wag at this but he obeyed and curled back up against Sam's leg.

He glanced back over at the girl on the bed and smiled to himself, wishing he were back in bed with her, surrounded by her lollipop scent and curled up in her insane blond mane.

She turned against and he could barely make out her face under the blankets and the pillow, which she'd clung to like a child to a stuffed animal. With a heavy sigh he extracted himself from the room.

Once out of the studio he made his way down the stairs and out of the Shay's apartment. Since it was still pretty early no one was awake and no one heard the door close. It wasn't until he was out of there that it really truly hit him. He and Sam actually slept in the same bed together and she actually liked the smell of him enough to hold that pillow. He remembered waking up sometime during the night and finding her on his chest whispering nonsense in her sleep.

With these thoughts and images going through his mind he entered his apartment and went to bed, even though he had the best sleep of his life last night.

**

* * *

**

Sam spent Sunday with Roger, which was a whole new experience for her. She thought about that morning though most of the time that day. When she woke up she found that Freddie had left but she could still feel his warmth and smell him on her pillow. The night before still played in her mind like a broken record though. He said 'it'. He said those words that most girls would love to hear from someone they've been with. Not that they were 'together', but this just complicated everything. How do you function when the boy you're trying to set free says he 'loves you'? Even thinking it was hard on her mind. What was she supposed to do when she saw him again? He didn't actually know that he had said it but she did which made it weird.

Putting it to the side she led Hammy into the recording studio after they went to Roger's and he made her a big lunch. He had asked her to bring her new pet with her, which she planned to do anyways. Spencer wasn't home and Carly was spending the day with her boyfriend, David Shay.

Roger had set up a special meeting with one of his friends who he thought she'd like to meet. He was correct in assuming so. The members of the band 'Cuttlefish' had stood before her merely two hours before and she got to sing a few songs with them as well as take some pictures and just hang. They were a nice bunch of folks who actually wanted to keep a copy of the songs they'd done together.

It was an amazing gift from Roger that she wished she could have shared with Carly, which she had explained to Roger as well. He smiled at her when she said this and proceeded to surprise her once more.

"I'm having the guys perform on iCarly, if you want them to." he'd said once they were alone in the recording studio, Hammy asleep on Roger's lap. "Well I asked if you would and they were all for it."

"What?" she said loudly causing Hammy's head to snap up and his ears to shoot up in attention. Once he realized there was no danger he laid back down and went to sleep. "Are you serious? Did they actually say they'd be on the show?"

"Yep, they'll come on anytime this month but after that they'll be out of the Seattle area so let me know when you'd like them to come."

"Of course we would!" she grinned. He couldn't help but smiled at this, everything over the past few months seemed to just wash away. That grin took him back to the days when she was just a little girl. There was something almost sharp about her facial expressions now, yet there was still his daughter in there. He had high hopes for their relationship working out though and he'd continue to push forward to work through the kinks and knots.

"So I never asked you, where'd you get this dog from?" Hammy didn't bother to look up as he allowed Roger to scratch his little head.

"He was a present." she shrugged and took a sip from her iced coffee.

Roger gave her a knowing look, yet there was something almost sad in his ocean eyes.

"From Freddie?" he tried to take the sadness out of his voice but it didn't work.

Sam looked very confused by his strange turn to sadness. She'd always struck him young, even for his current age. There was always something youthful about his scruffy face and persona. In that moment he seemed to age before her eyes.

"What's wrong with you? Why do you look all sad, like someone stabbed you with a sponge or something?" she found herself asking him. He tried to smile despite the weird feeling that was built up inside his chest.

"Oh it's nothing, just thinking about some stuff." he cleared his throat and continued to pet Hammy. "So he got you a dog? How'd that come about?" he looked back to normal, somewhat and she took it as a sign that whatever had pulled him down had let him go.

"We were hangin' out and we passed by this store and Mr. Hams was there and lookin' mighty sad. I guess Freddie thought he'd be a good present."

"Was he right?" her father smirked. Sam's face looked blindsided for a moment and wondered why he always had to bring to light the fact that the dork thought of her as more than a friend. Though now she knew just how much he really thought of her. She could feel her soft cheeks become warm at the thought but shoved it away, like she did whenever she'd react this way.

"I guess, he's pretty awesome and a good companion. Also I guess he's cute, just don't tell anyone I said that." she gave Roger a stern look that said 'I mean bid'ness'.

"Who are we talking about, Freddie or Hammy?" he couldn't help but laugh as her face went up an extra shade.

"I can't believe you just said that! I meant Hammy!" if it were possible for people to literally turn red from embarrassment, then Sam would be the first proven case.

"Sure ya did." he chuckled and then settled down after seeing her get worked up. "So when do you want to do dinner again?"

"If you keep it up never." she frowned.

"I was just kidding with ya." he smiled, knowing she wasn't serious.

"Yeah yeah, well I guess we could go tomorrow night." she shrugged.

"How about we get Timothy to get us some food up in here?" he grinned and pushed a random button on a separate area of the board before him. His voice rang throughout the entire building as he called Tim, one of his assistants and told him to get them something to eat for lunch.

I should probably feed Hams a little something. Fredweird got me these traveling bowls so I can give him water and food if we're out all day."

"That was thoughtful of him." Roger commented offhandedly.

She frowned and chose not to pipe in that she thought so too.

**

* * *

**

When she got home that night she couldn't hold back a smile, it was impossible. She couldn't wait to tell Carly the greatest news in the entire world. But Carly wasn't home when she got back at 7:30 that night. Spencer was also absent from the loft and she began to wonder what was up. Had they gone somewhere together and forgot to tell her?

She set Hammy down and he began his usual run around the living room and kitchen. He always had to inspect every inch to make sure nothing was _off_.

Placing all of her belongings by the elevator she sighed and decided to just order a pizza for herself. When she really thought about it she hadn't looked at her phone once all that day and hadn't even heard it ring. Pulling it out she found that there were only a few missed calls and a text from Carly. Most of the missed calls were Carly's and one was from her mother's lawyer. Carly stated in her messages as well as her text that Spencer was going out of town for the night to an art gallery showing in Spokane and would be back late. Her best friend said she should be home around ten or so, that David was taking her to some nice restaurant.

What really got to her though was that Freddie hadn't called her once that day. Had she said something in her sleep that morning to chase him away?

Just as these thoughts entered her mind there was a familiar knock at the door, which brought a smile to her lips. Quickly covering it up, she went to the door and opened it up. Freddie smiled down at her and she could feel her heart stop for a moment. She scolded herself for getting so overly excited about seeing him. Her plans were being ruined by the look in his eyes.

If she shut her eyes for a moment she could still hear him say those words with such clarity and truth. This in itself caused her heart to start up again. Could she really break his heart when he was the reason for hers to beat like a bass line in a hyper song?

"I feel like I haven't seen you all day." he said coming in, she shut the door and couldn't help but roll her eyes. "Not that I'm complaining, too much Sam can be bad for my health." he chuckled, joking. She proceeded to smack the back of his head as he passed.

"That's because I was gone all day, dork." she glared at his last comment but chose to ignore it.

He continued to smirk as he looked around the loft. He noticed Hammy was stuffing his face over in the kitchen and hadn't really noticed him yet.

"Where is everybody?" he finally asked sitting down on the couch. Hammy's head snapped up and he sprinted across the kitchen to the living room onto Freddie's lap. He found himself being licked to death by his little friend. While this was all happening Sam was off in another universe.

So many scenarios ran through her mind as he casually lounged on the couch with Hammy, looking up at her as she stood frozen in the spot by the door.

They were alone, together.

He was still looking at her as she stood there allowing the thoughts of themselves wrapped up in an intimate embrace, him whispering loving words into her ear. She tried to snap herself out of it but they just kept coming. Images were attached to the memos in her mind. It was unfair to her to have to stand there and watch these things and wish for them and then force herself to fight against them. To want them so bad that it hurt to even look at him.

"Sam?" Freddie called her back to reality and she visibly shook her head and looked at him confused.

"Huh?" she found herself saying still very lost. He looked concerned for a second but brushed it off as her being her usual strange self.

"Thanks for joining me." he laughed and she rolled her eyes. "I asked you where everyone was."

"Oh, Carly's out with David, Spencer's in Spokane for some art thing." she shrugged and made sure not to sit down yet, instead she looked down at her phone and decided to call for pizza. He just shrugged and went back to play fighting with Hammy.

Heading to the island she leaned against it and ordered two large meat-filled pizzas. Looking over her shoulder she found Hammy and Freddie playing still. After she got done telling the teenager on the other line that she wanted two larges and not one large and medium she got off the phone and just observed her new pup and friend.

Freddie allowed the little guy to nibble on his hand playfully and then he'd stop biting and lick where he bit. It was just so cute to watch them and she felt suddenly nauseous. She hated even thinking something was cute let alone say it aloud

"So you're getting pizza?" he asked after Hammy got bored and trotted off to get a drink. Freddie turned so that he was staring right at her as he said this. His big brown eyes were looking up at her hopefully.

"Yeah, but that doesn't mean I'm gonna share with you, dorksville." _Dorksville? _he thought to himself looking at her as if she were nuts.

"Oh come on, I'll pay for half." he whined.

"You can pay for both." she told him grinning.

"Why?"

"Because I want you to." she shrugged and sat down in front of the computer.

"And you think that I'll just do whatever you say, just because you want me to?" he frowned, still looking at her.

"Pretty much." she shrugged again.

The distance was good; it kept her from following through with the images in her mind. This was Fredward Benson for ham's sake! It wasn't like he was unappealing or that she wasn't already crazy about him but this wasn't working. Her plan was failing right before her eyes and there was nothing she could do about it. She was supposed to be pushing him slowly out of her life [though only romantically] until he finally got over his crazy 'love' for her. Even though she believed now that his feelings were real, there was something in her that doubted it still. The 'whys' were what kept her from believing in his confession. What could possess this guy to 'fall in love' with her?

Freddie frowned to himself as he watched her from the couch. She had a frown set on her lips as well and she was staring at the computer screen, but there was nothing there. It looked much like her confused/thinking face. Sometimes he wished he could just read minds, and then he'd know what she wanted him to do so he could just be with her. But then there was a downside to being able to go into others minds, sometimes some thoughts were just better left unheard.

She was right though; he would do whatever she asked, within reason, if she pestered him enough. Buying food wasn't that big of a deal to him but he wasn't about to let her know that.

She shifted in her seat and leaned forward, seeming to come out of her trance-like state. Her fingers began to vigorously type against the smoothed out keys as her eyes darted to follow her handy work.

After about thirty minutes the pizza arrived and Freddie paid for it. Sam hadn't even looked up when the knock came. Once the scent of meat hit her nose though she was up and over to the pizza.

"We should go watch more of those videos." she suggested grabbing one of the boxes. "Remember you converted the others I brought when I had to go move all the stuff in the house to storage?" she was surprised at how civil she sounded just then.

"Oh yeah, we never did watch those ones." he got up and grabbed the boxes from her hands and they headed up the stairs to the studio to continue their movie watching.

Once positioned before the widescreen television he pressed a few buttons on his laptop and a video started up. There was a little girl sitting on the couch with her blond head tilted to the side. They both knew right away who she was.

"Nathan what are you doing?" came the voice of Roger, who appeared on screen as Nathan swung it toward the other man.

"Documenting Sam's birthday of course." Nathan said with a laugh in his voice.

He returned the camera to little Sam and she was giving him a confused look.

"Sammy." Nathan started.

"Yeah?" her innocent little voice piped up with a hint of confusion as she sat up straighter on the couch.

Freddie laughed at this. "I didn't think it was possible for you to sound innocent." he whispered over at the older version of the little girl and she smacked the back of his head and continued to focus on the screen.

"What have you wanted for your birthday for the past two years?" Nathan continued.

Little Sam's lips began to turn up more into a smile. It was so surprising how adorable she was for a demon.

"A kitty!" the little girl grinned and nodded her head up and down.

"Really? I thought you wanted a hat, not a cat." Nathan gave her a serious look.

"What? I wanna kitty!" little Sam frowned at Nathan's bad joke. "I don't like hats."

"I'm just kidding with you Sammy." he chuckled. "Cover your eyes and I'll go get your gift." he told her and did so without complaint but was literally dancing in her seat. He handed the camera to the little girl's father and you could faintly hear him walk out of the room. Roger was talking to his daughter for a moment, asking if she was super excited about her present. From the far off corner you could barely see Marissa and Sarah with Freddie in her lap. He shifted the camera a bit and pointed it at them.

"What are you guys doin' over there?" he asked and Sarah stuck her tongue at him.

"We're waiting for that nugget to get back with Sammy's gift." Sarah told him smirking.

"So snippy, are pregnant woman always like this?" Roger asked more to Marissa then Sarah, who narrowed her eyes.

Freddie hit the pause button for a second and looked over at Sam.

"No way…" she muttered looking at her mother's narrowed eyes frozen on the screen.

"You didn't know?"

"Obviously not dorkwad, I wonder what happened to the baby…" she seemed to be pushing it to the backburner as he watched her. She leaned toward him and hit the play button, ignoring his concerned eyes.

"It's expected, especially from Sarah." Marissa giggled and her best friend gave her a cheeky grin.

"Daddy, what's prigment?" little Sam asked with her eyes still covered.

"Something I hope you'll not have to know about for fifty years." he laughed nervously.

"Wow your dad is such a…well dad, that's hilarious!" commented Freddie, trying to lighten the mood. She just rolled her eyes and continued to watch.

"Okay Daddy." she flopped her head side to side while holding her hands in place, waiting for her birthday present.

"I'm back!" announced Nathan happily, coming back into the shot like a really bad cheesy superhero.

"I didn't even notice that you left." snipped Sarah from the background. "And stop posing it makes you look like an idiot." she added glaring over at him.

"Why do you constantly have to-" he started but was cut off by a shoe hitting his head. "What is your problem you aggressive woman!" he yelped holding the shoe in one hand a something fluffy in the other. The pair in the bean bag chairs couldn't quite see what it was; Roger kept switching the camera back and forth between the bickering friends.

"Your mom is as bad as you are, you know." Freddie again whispered over to the blond.

"Have I thrown my shoe at you?" she didn't receive an answer though.

"Present time?" little Sam asked confused and sounding quite sad.

"I'm sorry Sammy…" both Nathan and Sarah said, in different vocal pitches.

"Okay munchkin, it's time!" he laughed and she giggled along with him. "Ready?"

"Yep!" she chirped.

"Open your eyes."

The camera angle moved around until it was on Sam's right and you could plainly see a grayish looking kitten sitting in Nathan's hands.

"KITTY!" she shrieked loudly and practically jumped off the couch and toward Nathan and the kitten. The small fluff ball turned its head towards her a meowed cutely. He placed the kitten in Sam's hands and she held it close to her and began to pet it softly, making cute little noises at it.

"So kiddo, what are ya going to name him?" Nathan asked taking a seat on the couch while she joined him, holding her kitty.

"Frothy!" she grinned and the kitty agreed with her as he made himself comfortable on her lap.

"Why Frothy?" he asked chuckling at the silliness of the name.

"No way!" Sam yelped out as her limbs flailed about in an attempt to sit up straighter. "I named that demonic cat? My mom said that he just wandered in one day and we kept him." she snipped angrily. "That jerk lied to me!" she felt her eye begin to twitch at this knowledge.

"What happened to him anyways?" Freddie found himself asking.

"He died a year ago. Old age." she frowned and looked upon the once young Frothy.

"He reminds me of a root beer float." she grinned up at him and he bent down and pecked her on the top of her head.

"He really did remind me of a root beer float." older Sam commented smiling a little.

"It's a cute name." stated Nathan.

Little Freddie jumped off of Sarah's lap and wandered over to her and she lifted the kitty up to show him.

"Look what I got."

"I want one." Freddie pouted.

"Get your own." she flicked his forehead with a finger and he frowned at her and pinched her exposed leg.

"Hey! You can't do that!" she pouted and looked at her dad. "Daddy, he hurt me!"

"She started it." he pointed an accusing finger at the four year old girl.

"Freddie be nice, it's her birthday." scolded Nathan giving his son a stern look.

"Okay." he sighed and went back to where his mom was at.

"You were even mean back then. Geez and I thought it was something you just developed into later on." frowned an older Freddie who was currently shooting his best friend an annoyed look.

"Well what do you want me to say? You were still a little dork then." She turned a little in her bean bag chair and flicked him on the forehead and he swatted her hand away.

"Do you really want to go through with this pointless fight?" he asked bored.

"Maybe later."

They both hadn't realized that the video had finished and another had already started. Freddie moved the little bar back to the beginning and they both turned their attention to the television screen.

The room looked unfamiliar but the bodies taking up the brightly colored room weren't. Marissa, Roger, Sarah and Nathan all sat together in front of the camera, squished onto the florescent green couch. Roger frowned as Marissa's elbow pushed into his ribcage. Nathan and Sarah were getting into a slapping contest with one another, causing Sarah's elbow to also poke at Roger.

"Come on already!" Roger finally snapped grabbing his wife's elbow as well as Marissa's. "Can't you guys just chill out and get on with this thing?"

"Sorry Roger, your wife is being a brat." stated Nathan glaring at the woman next to him.

"Yeah well you're not so wonderful yourself you know?" he just rolled his eyes at her statement.

"Isn't the point of this video to talk to our future kids?" Marissa asked, clearly uncomfortable being stuck in the corner.

"Yeah, can't you to just stop your fighting for a bit while we do this?" Roger added, agreeing with his friend.

"Fine." they both grumbled and folded their arms simultaneously, while still glaring at one another.

"Good, now Marissa why don't you start?" Roger suggested nudging her lightly with his shoulder.

Marissa Benson smiled and nodded and then gave full attention to the camera.

"Hey there kids, we're hoping that you guys have become friends and are able to watch this together. Unless of course Sarah loses this video then it would be so pointless to do it." she sighed and shook her head at Sarah who gave her friend one of her famous cheeky grins. "Anyways, I'm Marissa, your mother and aunt or godmother, whichever you prefer. Since you both are still baking in the ovens, we don't exactly know what we'll name you yet. But Sarah is so sure that she's having a girl and I'm also hoping for one as well. But that doesn't mean I'm not happy with you, if you are in fact a boy."

"Wow, are you applying for a job or doing an infomercial?" Sarah asked laughing at her best friend.

"Well then you ahead and do something." pouted Marissa.

"Fine." she adjusted her posture a bit and flipped her hair back, hitting Nathan in the face. He pushed a hand into her left shoulder and she turned around and punched him in the arm, hard. This went on for two minutes until she got bored and turned back to the camera. "Alright you kids, the things you need to know are that these people on this couch are like a crazy dysfunctional family, who show affection by treating one another like poo."

"What?" all three other young adults said together.

"I'm kidding, well not about the dysfunctional family part. See, Marissa over here, she can't stand her dad, he's always demanding her to do that ridiculous fencing thing and she hates it. But he's so blinded by it all that he doesn't take into account that she's unhappy with it." Marissa frowned but seemed to agree with what Sarah was saying. "My oh so wonderful husband who get's his awesome wife knocked up, not that I'm not happy about that, I can't wait, but the point is he's also without some form of parenting." she leaned over and pecked him on the lips real quick. "He was raised by his grandma most of his life and she passed away a year ago. He can't really remember what his parents were like, all he has are photos and a few trinkets." she then turned her head toward Nathan and she frowned a bit.

"Go ahead." he sighed.

"My parents and his, the Lewis's were great friends, it goes away back into a really long spirally thing that I don't care to explain. The point is that…" she stopped for a moment and knitted her hands together. "Nathan's real mother died turning child birth and the guy who got her pregnant wasn't around, I'm guessing he didn't even know. The Lewis's loved him from the moment they laid eyes on him, even though his dad is a total son of a-"

"Sarah!" snapped Nathan sitting up straight.

"What? I was just gonna say biscuit, I swear."

"Uh huh." he shot her a dirty look from the corner of his eyes.

"Anyways." she turned back to the camera. "I met this creep when I was two I think; maybe we knew each other before that I don't know. But from what Mags told me, that's his mom, she makes really great apple pie," Marissa nodded in agreement. "She said that she'd met his biological mother before she gave birth to him. She was very young and was advised to not forgo the pregnancy, but she couldn't destroy a child that she already loved." she glance over at Nathan for a moment and something silent transpired between the two, Sam noticed, she could tell Freddie was trying not to.

"You really need to stop talking to my mom." he complained.

"Yeah well she loves me and makes me delicious deserts so there." she stuck her tongue out at him and then turned back to the camera after adding, "And besides don't you want your offspring to know about you?"

"Well yeah but geez, how much do my kids need to know?"

"Everything possible, duh." she rolled her eyes and leaned back into the couch against Roger.

"Don't listen to him Sarah, our kids will need to know all of this and you're the only one who seems to know everything about all of us." commented Marissa giving her husband a disapproving look.

"Okay." smiled Sarah and returned her attention to the camera. "So anyways, it was her wish that Mags take ol' Nathan here if anything happened to her. So kids if you ever wonder why you're so funny lookin' it's your dad's fault, not your mom's, she's a foxy piece of woman!" laughed Sarah grinning at her best friend next to Roger. Marissa giggled at the comment and shook her head at her friend's silliness.

"So who's next?"

"Can we just go get some pie?" asked Marissa trying to dislodge herself from her awkward position with Roger.

"Oh! Pie!" cheered Sarah also trying to get up from the couch.

Nathan found his way out of the corner and shut off the camera just as everyone on the couch managed to get up.

"Well that was interesting." Freddie stated.

"Yeah, I feel like I just watched some really weird sitcom."

"Let's watch this last one and then I need to get home." he said about to push the button.

"Why?" she found herself asking before she could stop the words from leaving her mouth. She couldn't come up with anything to add to that which would diminish the meaning behind it.

"Why? Because I have to?" he seemed to have completely missed her question. She had meant it as more of a request for his company, while thinking about the night before. Maybe it was a good thing that he didn't catch on to her 'why'. When she glanced over at him he looked puzzled by her own expression. She frowned and tried to pull it together. Three words shouldn't be affecting her so much, especially not from Freddork of all people. If you separated the three you'd have two not-so-menacing words but together they were like a ticking time bomb. That's right if 'love' were by itself it would still be dangerous, it couldn't be trusted. Once it joined forces with other words, just watch out.

She rolled her eyes at the silliness of it all and tried to figure out what she should say to him.

"Your mom workin' late tonight?"

"Actually she's off today, go figure." he shrugged and pressed the button on the laptop.

How could he have completely missed her question? She was practically propositioning the guy for goodness sakes. Okay maybe she wasn't being that forward but why didn't he comment on her question?

The video was silent for a few moments as the person behind the camera.

"You idiot you forgot to take off the lens cap." snapped an all too familiar voice. Then there was more of a picture and the two teens watching gasped.

"Is that…" started Sam.

"It is…" Freddie gaped.

"So when's the freak show start?" called Sarah.

"Shut up Sarah, did you forget that Marissa's in the show?"

"Oh yeah." she laughed. "Never mind!"

The camera had been turned to her for a moment when Nathan had addressed her. You could tell that her belly was pretty round.

"I still don't think this is a good idea, she shouldn't be out there when she's pregnant." Roger stated worriedly from his position next to Sarah.

"What the nubs is your mom doing in the circus?" Sam asked Freddie, completely shocked by what she'd just heard. "Then again with your family history I guess I'm not so surprised." she laughed, coming out of her shock.

"Shut up Sam." Freddie grumbled as he watched on. His dad must have been shaking a bit while holding the camera.

"How could you have let her go through with this?" it sounded like Sarah was starting to get worried as well.

"I didn't, her dad made her." he spat out bitterly.

"Yeah well be a man, that's supposed to be your woman out there and she's in danger you idiot! What kind of husband allows his wife who he's supposed to love go out there?" Sarah snapped angrily standing up as though she was going to stop her friend from going through with her plans. "And pregnant no less!"

"She didn't tell me until we got here! She just vanished with the lion tamer and her annoying dad!"

The two couldn't quite understand why it had taken then so long to freak out of this but the tension continued as the camera panned out among the crowd as well as the circus folk. It started to dawn on them as well as they noticed the bear working its way across the stage with it's trainer and a man in spandex wielding a flame thrower and a crochet mallet.

"Have you ever met your mom's dad?" Sam found herself asking, watching all of this unfold.

"No, mom said that he passed away or something, she doesn't like to talk about him much."

"Where do you think you're going Sarah?" called Nathan watching her head to the stairs to the side of their seats. She wasn't moving too fast though, due to her round belly. "You're so not going anywhere Puckett!" He began to go after her followed by Roger, who was the first to get to his wife.

"You can't just rush off into a ring full of animals. We'll go get Marissa okay?"

Sarah looked like she was about to argue but sighed and looked like she might start to cry.

"Here take this and go sit down." sighed Nathan. The camera cut for a second and the next thing they saw was Marissa being wheeled off in an ambulance, with Nathan joining her. It cut again and they were in the hospital. Marissa was on a gurney, yelling at Nathan about how much she wished she could strangle him. Sarah was the holder of the camera; it was obvious as she was trying to keep up with the others. She then got Nathan's attention and threw it to him. The screen went black again and then it came back with a view of Marissa holding a baby in her arms while Roger and Sarah stood on the other side of her grinning like crazy.

"Looks like Freddie doesn't look a think like you Nathan!" laughed Sarah.

"Not funny."

"What he's going to be a good lookin' young guy, what with Marissa's looks. Let's just hope that he doesn't end up being a total dweeb like you."

"Enough already Sarah, geez."

"Fine. So can I hold my godson?" Sarah seemed to be bouncing on the balls of her feet with a cheesy expression on her face.

Marissa smiled at her friend and held out her new baby to Sarah.

Freddie turned to Sam and looked a bit surprised.

"So your mom was my godmother? Weird." he mumbled.

"Yours is mine too." she shrugged.

The video cut then, the tape must have run out.

"So your dad gave me a cat for my birthday when I was four, you were still a nub even then and your mom was in the circus."

"It's kind of funny that I'd end up giving you Hammy."

They both turned their heads toward the pup as he rolled around on the carpet, flailing his legs around and yipping happily to himself.

"He's so my dog." Sam laughed and shook her head. It was so interesting how a pet could take up the habits of their owners and be so linked right off the bat.

"Well I'd better be getting home." he sighed and got up to return the laptop to the cart.

"Wait, I have something to tell you and Carly."

"Can't you just tell me now? We've got school tomorrow."

This would have been the perfect opportunity to make a comment on how much of a dork he was, but she pushed it off to the side.

"I wanted to tell you both ya know simultaneously, as in together." she frowned joining him over at his cart. "Besides why are you rushing off to get home to McCrazyPants?"

"McCrazyPants?" he asked trying to not show he found it really amusing and failing miserably.

"Your nutty mother!" she threw her hand up in the air and rolled her eyes.

"I guess there's no real reason, just feel like going home." he shrugged with a bored expression on his face.

Sam tried her best to hide the surprise on her face as she took in his composure. He seemed so nonchalant about it all, like he didn't care if he spent time with her or just went home for the night. For some reason this just didn't sit right in the pit of her stomach. Maybe she was being too hard on ol' Mrs. Benson; she had come to a point where she could respect the woman a little. She did feel bad for all the people involved in the almost 'soup opera' that played out over a decade ago.

Thoughts of Roger filled her mind then. Something seemed to dawn on her, like a piece of ham slapping her in the face. The older man's face earlier that day when he spoke of the present from Freddie, it must have brought back memories. That was the only explanation she could come up with. That video they watched gave it away, Freddie would always bring about these thoughts in her father.

* * *

The next morning Carly was still pretty excited about the news she'd received the night before, a little too excited in Sam's opinion. Something felt off with the blonde's friend. She ignored that feeling along with the rest she'd stored away to deal with later. It seemed she was doing this quite often.

"So they're for sure coming this Friday?" Carly asked for the hundredth time that morning.

Sam was close to just smacking her dear friend in the face.

"Yes!" she cried out throwing her hands up in the air. She walked around the loft trying to locate her missing shoe. She could have sworn that she took them off in the same place last night. Hammy trotted out from a random area with her shoe in his mouth. "So you're the culprit!" she grinned and went to grab her shoe. He got into position as if he were going to attempt to fight her for it but saw the stern look on her face and thought against it. "Wise choice Hams." she took her shoe and slipped it onto her shoeless foot. Hammy's ears fell down as she threw her backpack over her shoulders.

This would be the first time she'd leave him all day. He'd already grown attached to her over their short time together.

"Aw Sam, he's going to miss him mama." giggled Carly, who bent down and scooped him up. He didn't really like that at all and began to whimper shamelessly.

"Hammy, you can't come to school with us! Stop this jank whining' now." she scolded and he sounded as though he had grumbled. It was kind of cute in a way. "You get to spend all day with Spencer, I just hope you're alive and in one piece when I get back." she frowned.

"I might not be responsible with fish but I can take care of Hams!" cried Spencer from his bedroom. He'd come out in nothing but boxers that morning, due to the loud barking of one Mr. Hammy. For some strange reason, which might not be so strange considering it was Spencer, he came out with a plastic swordfish ready to take down the 'intruder'.

"I really hope so Spence…for Hammy's sake…" Carly stated shaking her head. The pup managed to get out of Carly's hands and was at the front door, scratching at it, his little tail wagging excitedly. "I wonder who could be out there…" Carly grinned, working her way over to the door. The door swung opened and Freddie stepped in, the smell of waffles hitting his face. He tried not to drool as the scent worked its way through his nose.

"Oh look it's the mayor of Dweebtown." commented Sam, giving him her mischievous grin.

"That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard." he snipped at her.

"Yeah well your face is stupid." she stated with a bored expression. He ignored this and bent down to pick up Hammy who was scratching his leg, trying to get his attention.

"Your lame owner over there is being a brat, isn't she?" he asked the pup who lightly nipped at his fingers.

"Don't listen to that dork Hammy." called Sam who had a tight grip on her backpack.

"Guys we need to leave or we're going to be late." Carly told the two and Hammy whimpered at this. The little guy was smarter then they realized. "Oh you, your _parents_ will be back before you know it." she giggled as her two friends shot her a nice pair of glares, they were getting pretty good at doing that at the same time.

"Hammy!!" shrieked Spencer from his room. Hammy started to flail in Freddie's arms until he was placed on the floor. His little legs darted toward the call of a distressed Spencer. Over the course of three days the two had also become close. The pup was very protective of all the members of his new family.

"I think that's our cue to leave." smiled Carly opening the door.

* * *

Freddie grinned as he watched Mr. Howard came storming over to them just before they planned to head to the lunch room. He stood next to Sam's locker as she fought with books which wouldn't fit right inside. Mr. Howard looked beyond annoyed about whatever he had come to them for.

"Sam Puckett." he frowned as his eyes beat into her.

"I swear I was with this nub the whole time, you can't prove anything!" she yelled and he just sighed.

"The principal wants you in his office, now." he then turned on his heal and walked off, muttering to himself about how much he hated children and his sad excuse for a job.

"What did you do?" Freddie found himself asking against his better judgment. He could only imagine the shenanigans she's been up to between the time they departed that morning and when he met up with her for lunch.

"Nothing, geez!" she rolled her eyes and left him standing by her locker.

When she arrived at Principal Franklin's office she just barged in, his secretary didn't even bat an eye. It had been quite a while since she'd be to his office, which was a sign that she wasn't most definitely off her game. Who was she if she wasn't constantly being sent to the principal's office? She pushed the door opened and was surprised to find her Physics teacher standing by the window while Principal Franklin remained at his desk.

"Oh, good Sam you're finally here." ushered Ted Franklin, with a smile on his face. Ms. Lewis turned when the door opened and she smiled brightly at her. This wasn't a normal reaction whenever she got called into his office. Something was definitely up and she wasn't sure she liked it. "Have a seat."

She shifted her eyes around the office but did so without complaint.

"Whatever this is about, I didn't do it."

"You're not in trouble." Principal Franklin assured her and Ms. Lewis nodded, her face practically glowing with happiness.

"Then what up?" she lounged in the seat, attempting to look bored.

"Well…" started Ms. Lewis, who was holding a manila folder in her hand. "Do you remember that paper I had you write about the 'Quantum Field Theory' this past October?" Sam could only nod, not liking where this conversation was headed. "I had a friend of mine read over it, he currently teaches a class at MIT and loved your work. He said he hadn't read anything with such conviction in quite some time."

Sam's mind was going a mile a minute. Every piece of her being was tingling with an unknown feeling, almost foreign to her.

"So what does that have to do with why we're here." squinting her eyes at the woman she once trusted to keep her big secret, she tried to come up with what this could mean.

"You see Sam," started up Principal Franklin who had his hands weaved together on top of his desk, looking at her seriously. "We've receive a few letters from different universities who wish to give you a scholarship for this field study, if you are at all interested in pursuing this at all."

The thought of traditional colleges or universities churned her stomach into knots. She'd already planned out what she wanted to do and was deadest on it. Going to some fancy university was like throwing an iron pot into the microwave. You just don't do it, unless you owned one of those new microwaves that allow metal of any kind in it.

She couldn't just drop her plans because the opportunity of a lifetime presented itself. She was meant to go to Le Cordon Bleu in Massachusetts, which she had paid for in advance. That was her real dream, despite her love for thought provoking Physics.

She sometimes wished she could do both and have the best of both worlds but that wasn't going to happen. What they were talking about was the chance that any student striving for this field would jump at. If she were a 'normal' student she'd take it too. But she knew nothing of the supposed universities that _wanted_ her.

"Why would they want me? My grades aren't as great as Fredweird's or Carly's." she tried to reason.

"They've already sent out their applications and I'm pretty sure they'll be fine." assured Principal Franklin smiling a little her way. "The thing is Sam, you might not get any offers like this again, and you should really think it over. This is your future after all."

Ms. Lewis nodded in agreement, gripping the folder in her grasp. "In this folder are the applications of the schools that wish to have you amongst their ranks. This is a great opportunity and you could excel greatly in it." she stepped closer and handed the folder to Sam. "You just fill out the ones that catch your attention and bring them to me and I'll send them out for you."

Despite Ms. Lewis's meddling she felt strange, having this woman actually care about her _future_. She should be angry that the woman shared a private paper between them with some nub at some university. But those feelings vanished when she opened the thick folder. There was no way that all these schools could want _her_ of all the geniuses in the world. Her _hobby_ was that, just a hobby.

The prospect of getting a free ride to a good school was thrilling to say the least. As much as she hated to admit it this was the best news she'd received in a long while.

Her mind went to Freddie for a quick second, wondering where he'd end up. He mentioned a few schools he had in mind but they weren't apart of her memory bank anymore. Somewhere in California, was all she could think but shook it off.

"I'll think about it." she mumbled, in a haze as she stood and headed for the door, but was stopped by Principal Franklin's voice.

"Sam," he started. "You really are very bright and I hope that you'll do what's right for you, even if it's not in that folder."

She swallowed the thick lump in her throat and nodded, then turned the knob and left the room. Once out of the office she breathed in the hallway air and looked down at the seemingly innocent folder in her sweaty grasp. When had she started to perspire?

"Took you long enough." a voice to her left stated. Freddie stood there with his thumbs in his jean pockets. How long had she been standing there staring at the slightly damp folder filled with chances at a future?

"I want food." was all she could think to say.

"Here," he rolled his eyes and pulled out a paper bag with her name on it. She looked at him in confusion but took it from his hands.

She made sure to first put away the offending folder that taunted her with difficult decision making. Freddie continued to observe her and she didn't snap at him this time.

Should she just give up on the culinary arts and go for something that she found fun and intriguing? On the one hand the culinary arts programs weren't going anywhere; she could easily get her money back and just try being a 'university-goer'. She could already see herself there wishing that someone would give her a reason to throw a punch or pull a prank.

"Cheese for your thoughts?" he asked holding out string cheese to her. She took it gladly and shoved the whole thing in her mouth. "You going to tell me why you look like someone stole your life time supply of low-fat fatcakes?"

"I uh…got detention for uh…putting three dozen eggs in Brigg's desk." she found herself saying.

"So, you always get detention, what's really wrong?" he bumped her shoulder with his as the walked along the halls toward their lockers.

"None of your business Benson." she glowered at him and finished off the lunch he brought her. "I need to go to the can before class, I'll see you later." she walked around him and toward the girl's bathroom and went inside. She could still hear him out in the hall until his sigh and footsteps vanished around the corner.

* * *

After school let out Freddie drove the two to Bushwell and offered to buy Sam a smoothie, she allowed it because he was paying. Carly said she had some meeting after school for student government or something.

Once they were seated across from one another Sam came to a decision that she couldn't believe. Talk to the dork.

"Dweeb." she started and received a half pout half glare, classic Fredward Benson.

"Can't you just call me by my name?" he frowned.

"I could, but then that would be giving you what you want and you know how I don't like doing that." she smirked.

"Whatever." he gave in, not feeling like fighting with her over something this lame.

"Anyways, I want to throw something out in the open, hypothetically of course." she tried to explain, hoping he wouldn't allow what she was going to say to link back to her.

"Okay _hypothetically_ speaking, shoot."

"Let's say you received a bunch of offers for different colleges and they were really great but you want to do something that they don't offer, what would you do?"

He sat there for a moment and just looked into her eyes intently. She was starting to feel heat work it's way up her neck into her hair. This wasn't the time be having a reaction to the dork.

"It would depend on what I wanted I guess."

"What if the offers were once-in-a-lifetime chance and the other was something that you could always do? But there were other things stopping you from choosing."

"I'd take the offers and try to see how it worked out, if the other will always be there." he stated honestly.

"Uh, thanks for the hypothetical advice." she nodded and grabbed her smoothie and headed for the door. He followed along still confused by their little conversation.

"What was that about?" he finally asked as the got closer to Bushwell Plaza.

"Just curious about this question I was asked is all, nothing to worry your fluffy head about."

"I don't believe you." he stated pushing the button to the elevator and waited for it to descend to collect them.

Once aboard they headed up.

"Can I ask you a hypothetical question?" he stated once they passed the fifth floor and hit the stop button for the elevator. The lights went off and the whole thing came to a halt just before the eighth floor.

"What are you doing? Start this thing back up." she felt herself become nervous as she pressed herself into a corner, she could barely see the outline of Freddie's face.

"I want to ask you a question first, hypothetically of course." his voice was calm with a hint of playfulness. What he didn't understand was that Sam didn't like being in small enclosed places like this and was slowly beginning to freak out internally.

"Fine, hurry, what?" she snapped out holding onto the railing and abandoning her smoothie.

"Are you okay Sam?" his concerned voice was a lot closer then she remembered, since he was standing by the panel of buttons.

"Yeah, fine, just ask your question so we can get out of here." she said in a rushed tone.

"If you had the choice to be happy with a person or two make a person happy, which would you choose?" he asked standing right in front of her.

"I don't know, dork, but that's the stupidest question I've ever heard. Why do you have to be such a dweeb? Can't you just say what you're trying to say so we can get out of this stupid box?" She was getting very nervous at this point.

"Do you really want me to come out and tell you what I'm thinking?"

She gripped onto the railing tighter, not liking the fact that he got her into a place she couldn't hold her own. This wasn't fair. It should be simple enough to push him down and get to the panel to start up the elevator, but moving meant letting go of the railing, which she refused to do for reasons unknown to her.

"Just get it over with Benson, I want out." she snapped out.

"Fine." he sighed. "Do you want to go to the Anti-prom with me?"

"You're kidding me." she wanted to laugh but couldn't bring herself to. Not now.

"I figured that you might hate the idea of 'prom' so I thought we could do something else but you know, together."

"Fine, fine, can we get out of here now?"

"So that's a yes?"

"Yes, geez Benson, turn this box on and get me home." she yelled and the next thing she knew they were at the eighth floor and she rushed out.

"I didn't know you were afraid of being in an elevator for long periods of time."

"Yeah well keep it to your self. I'm going home, unless you'd like to find something else you'd like to stuff me in." she glared at him and worked her way to the Shay's loft that had become her home. Just as she was about to put the key in he was there and grasping the sides of her face with his large hands. When had they become so big?

He dipped his head down and pressed his lips into hers gently, it wasn't like any other kiss they had shared. It wasn't rushed are filled with teenage hormones. What scared her the most was that she liked it. He pulled her into him and pecked her lips lightly at first, until she got annoyed by his teasing.

"You know Benson that eventually I'm going to have to beat you senseless for doing that." she smirked up at him. "Don't think I'll always be as generous." she flicked his forehead and vanished into the loft, leaving a very happy Freddie outside the door.

**

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**

**Panda Note**: Okay so as you know it's been about two weeks since I've updated and I'm so sorry! This might not have a lot of 'Seddie' fluff, but it was important to the story. You'll see why in the next few chapters, I hope. I just have to thank all the awesome people who sent me messages and nudged me everyday to finish this chapter. You guys are just awesome! I checked recently and I've got a large amount of people who have put this story on their favs list as well as their alert. Thank you so much for that! Also I've posted a picture of Hammy, I might have to go back and fix his description but the picture is how I see him. Oh and make sure you stroll on over to my profile and check out some of the writer's on my favorite stories list. I really recommend two stories right now: iGo To Dingo World by Fictions of Legends and iCarly's Own MLP by Luna Moody. Go read their stuff, it's hilarious and filled with awesome Seddie goodness! Do it! Remember that I do post updates on my profile if you want to know what's up, you can also message me. I'm usually answer, almost always!

**Unsigned in reviewers:**

**Anonymous** – nice name btw, love it! I'm really glad that you enjoyed it from the beginning, it's just so awesome to hear this :D Thanks for reviewing and I hope you came back for this chapter.

**The One With** – Why thank you! He really did and now it's all up to Sam-o. That's horrible! I can't believe you missed that episode, though I bet you've seen it since then, they've played it a few times on tv. Hope you liked this chapter.

**Seddie101** – Thanks! I'm glad you liked it :P Sorry this one took forever, hopefully if a lot of peeps review I'll be encouraged to write a little faster lol

**SunnyRose** – Thank ya! I would love to be able to give a pet a fun name like that :P One day….LOL don't worry about good ol' Freddie. Just wait and see what happens.

That's it for now, do what's right and **REVIEW,** I need some reviewer encouragement right now, it would just be so helpful, thanks guys!


	15. Fred Benson Returns to ‘bad boy town'

**Disclaimer:** So I was talking this guy about owning a certain Nick show, but sadly it fell through so I decided to come back to this fanfction. Sorry I still don't own iCarly but if we raise enough money for **Luna Moody** she just might, maybe? One more thing, I don't own the "Fun Forest Amusement Park", it is real though as well as the "Orbiter" I looked it up. I also don't own the universities mentioned and I'm not making any cash off this, as my brother has stated recently.

**Panda Note:** Welcome back! Okay so I've been given a new title by **Luna Moody** that made me laugh really hard. Supposedly I'm a **FicPimp** and that's what this message is for. These stories I have a lot of faith in and I really hope that you guys will go and read them as well as review, because seriously who reads a story and doesn't review? That's just rude stuff. Okay here's the list:

_**iGo to Dingo World**_ by **Fictions of Legends - **Seddie

_**iCarly's own MLP**_by** luna moody - **Seddie

_**Different **_by** xxjourney – **it's a Spam, but awesome!

_**15 Going On 25**_by** OmfgNewCeiling – **this is new but honestly it's going to be one of those stories…read it! - Seddie

_**iDo**_by** Harry Potter Fan 1994 – **Seddie, this one is hilarious! Go read!

_**There All Along**_by** Delanie Faye – **I flippin love this one and you will too, the plot rocks.

There are a bunch of stories I love but these are some of the best of the best and need some support and love guys! Do it for the pandas…they love awesome fanfictions!

* * *

**  
Chapter Fourteen**

It was a nice morning in May when Carly peeked out her window. She couldn't remember a time when she'd felt more at peace with the world. Even with the prospect of not getting into the college of her dreams, she was still pretty happy. Her plans were coming together nicely and things were progressing, as she'd noticed.

Her poor unsuspecting best friends didn't know how much work she's put into their 'relationship', yet they both continued to make it harder.

Sighing she glanced over and noticed that it was nearing ten and the faint smell of something new and delicious picked her nose.

Saturdays were her favorite time of the week, especially when it was the start of a new month.

Today had to be the day, she continued to tell herself. She'd been informed that the 'acceptance' letters had been mailed out a week ago and should arrive around the fourth or the fifth. If it didn't show up today then she would have to wait until Monday, she couldn't.

After the time she'd spent working on iCarly, she realized what she wanted to do with the rest of her life. That's why Syracuse University of Journalism was the place for her, she just knew it. If not the there were others that she had to fall back on. Though she wished and hoped that she got into that particular school, it had to happen; she'd live with whatever happened.

Once she found herself in a sitting position she stretched and flipped to the right of her bed and grabbed a midnight blue remote with dozens of random buttons. The television that her father had bought her for getting straight 'As', even though she really didn't, had eventually worked its way into her bedroom.

Pressing play a video feed started up from the a few nights ago that made her smile. She'd watched it twice and then showed it to the other 'conspirators' in the 'Operation: Seddie'. They would have called it something less obvious but no one spoke of it outside of their meetings. It had come way before the idea to get them together even happened. The group had gathered around to read some of their fan's emails and messages and a large number of them asked about 'Seddie' and they soon found out what that stood for. There were a smaller number of 'Creddie' fans as well; Carly just smiled and thought of the date that she and Freddie had attempted.

It was a nice little funny memory that she'd treasure, it was after all the moment he 'woke up' from his infatuation.

She started the video over and shook her head while smiling.

Sam and Freddie were in the studio with Hammy, the date in the corner told her it was on the last day of April that it took place. The video continued with Hammy rolling around crazily, limbs flying around like Sam when she dances. Freddie was laughing really hard while dangling his fingers above the pup while Sam mimicked his antics, rolling on her back and looking like she was righting off something invisible. It was a special little moment that they thought no one knew about.

She felt kind of skeevy for spying on them in their intimate moments but she needed hard evidence, which had stacked up over the months. Who knew that her plans would work so well?

She smiled even bigger as Sam started to make weird squeaky noises at the back of her throat. For some strange reason Hammy was selective with the sounds that bothered him. The name 'Jessica' freaked him out, especially when pronounced 'Jess-cah' in a high pitch voice. He jumped to his feet and leaned into his front paws, like he planned to pounce onto her face as he growled playfully at her. Sam covered her face with her hands while continuing to move around and make noises. This really got him going and he started nibbling on her hands that still remained on her face. She peeked through and he looked happy for a moment and then she squeaked again and he started moving back and forth in front of her face.

Carly turned it off and sighed, they were so cute together when they weren't being snippy or hurtful. It hadn't been so current lately and Sam even seemed to be giving in, slightly. She wouldn't tell that to her friend though and pretend she didn't notice a thing.

Deciding it was time to actually get out of bed; she yawned and stretched before allowing her bare feet to come in contact with the frozen ground.

* * *

Sam frowned as she tried to focus all her attention on this recipe that was sent to her a week before. Some fan wanted the iCarly gang to try foods from their countries, mainly breakfast. The details were a bit sketchy and required patience; which she was steadily losing. Normally she would be up for cooking but she'd been up for hours and was still tired from the night before.

Freddie had insisted that they go have some of the most amazing cupcakes in Seattle, at nine at night. It was completely random and didn't make any sense at the time. He busted in and looked really excited about something. He spotted her, since she was the only one downstairs at that time and came over to her.

His excitement didn't die, even when she told him that he was being even 'nubbier' than usual. The joy on his face was almost contagious because she cracked a small smile and he pounced on his heels and kept trying to convince her to come with him. He wouldn't say where or why, just that he needed to take her, at that very moment.

Yeah it did sound that dirty at the time and she had a good laugh with herself as she sat in his car, while he shook with excitement. It was just scary and it almost seemed like he'd injected something that 'hyped' him up. It was just like the first time that he had coffee, except he went overboard and was a mess for days.

This reminded her of that but she kept it to herself as they arrived at their destination.

Cupcakes.

That's right; the crazy dweeb drove her thirty minutes from home to get cupcakes, in the middle of the night.

She shook her head at the memory and went back to the breakfast she'd been working on for hours. It was from some guy from Turkey and the dish was called 'Burek' or something like that. It took her a while because of the dough, which was 'foreign' to her. She laughed at her horrible pun. Surprisingly enough it was also found in the Arab culture, which was how she intended to make it. Her stomach told her to make something meaty with potatoiness. That's right potatoiness.

Once she'd fried up the dough and cooked up everything all that was left was the assembly.

Sighing she cut up the large creation and started placing it on plates as she heard Carly coming down the stairs. Spencer was still in his room, sleeping most likely.

Freddie and Sam had decided to do a much needed 'Wake Up Spencer' since they hadn't done one in months. This of course happened hours after Freddie ate a bunch of cupcakes and was on a sugar high. He was immune to anything she said the entire time. She tried every insult under the sun but got nothing in return, he was just so giddy that nothing could bring him down. She thought this until he hit his 'crashing' point and sluggishly worked his way into her bedroom and passed out. She lay down with him for a while and then woke up at eight to try out the recipe. She had a bunch of others that she needed to try as well.

She found herself looking down at him that morning, when she woke up and smiling despite her better judgment. Her lips found his forehead and she planted a gentle peck there. No one would ever know it but she'd have it in her memory bank as long as she lived. She wasn't known for showing any sort of 'affection' of that nature. In fact someone once said that she was 'afraid of affection'. That wasn't the case at all but she'd never correct anyone. She just chose the persons who got to receive her affection.

Speaking of which, he should have been up already, he had made sure to disappear before she even cracked an eye open. What was surprising was that Mrs. Benson hadn't broken down the door, looking for her precious son.

Her suspicious nature was starting to kick in, as well as the caffeine that she'd tanked down that morning.

"Morning." Carly grinned at her as she grabbed a mug and got herself some coffee. Sam couldn't help but narrow her eyes at her 'best friend' who seemed way too happy. Maybe she was being way to paranoid but something was definitely up with Carly.

Her brunette friend had been a nervous wreck the past week and then bam she's all sunshine and sprinkles. Where did that make any sense?

She remembered Carly going on a rant about how she wouldn't get into that journalism school and then she'd have to become a hobo. It went on for minutes, which felt like hours until she got tired and went to bed.

"Yeah, what are you up to?" Sam asked shifting her eyes over to her best friend who continued to sip lightly on her coffee, seeming to try very hard to look innocent.

"Nothing, why?" her voice rose a little and Sam wasn't in the mood to even get into it with the girl. "I'm just looking forward to getting my rejection letters is all." she laughed a little crazily as her mug started to shake in her hands.

"You'll get into your dream school and be fine, chill Shay." Sam sighed and shook her head as Carly sat down to start eating.

"What's this one?" she asked, after tasting some interesting things the past few days.

"Burek, it's some sort of 'pastry' except that you can also make it with meat and potatoes." she shrugged and began to munch on her own meal.

It wasn't until the fourth bite that a tousled Freddie came downstairs looking as though he'd walked through a hurricane. He grumbled something incoherent and went straight for the coffee, but was stopped by Sam who shook her head and set a hard glare on him. He glared right back and went to try and go for the coffee again but she pushed him and he fell to the ground. It was easy to tell that he was getting annoyed as he stood up and nudged her out of the way with his shoulder.

"You didn't just do that did you?" her voice went down a few octaves and she got within range and pushed him down again, this time with more force than before.

"What the hell, Sam?" he snapped at her and for a second she wondered where all this was coming from. He wasn't this bad when he got over his coffee crash.

"You can't just go for the coffee after all that sugar you had last night."

Carly hadn't been awake for whatever they were talking about but her mind went straight to the gutter.

"Should I be worried about the _sugar_ Freddie had last night?" Carly giggled and took a nice gulp of coffee.

"Shay, that's just…" Sam looked like she was about to rip out her hair and explode all at once. Her face lit up brightly with embarrassment. The very idea of _that_ was just scary. She'd never admit that to anyone but _that_ was the last thing she wanted at the moment. "I….you….just…" she couldn't seem to for a decent sentence nor did she notice Freddie sneak up to the coffee machine and get himself a nice steaming cup of coffee.

"Wow Sam I didn't know you could actually blush like that. Maybe I should bring up 'it' more often." she grinned and put the last of her breakfast into her mouth. "Well I'm going to take a shower." Carly stood and practically skipped off upstairs. Freddie didn't seem at all phased by what Carly had said and just continued to drink the coffee in his hands.

She didn't even bother to take it away from him, he'd learn soon enough.

Hammy trotted over after all the nonsense was over and tugged at Sam's sock with his mouth.

"You're finally awake too?" she gave the pup a bored look but he didn't seem bothered by it as his tail began to wag. He'd grown over the past few weeks and now came up to the middle of her lower leg. "I already put food in your bowl, go eat." she pointed to the bowl sitting in the kitchen and then went flop onto the couch.

Freddie seemed to perk right up after he finished off his coffee but Sam wasn't in the mood to deal with the nub. He came over and plopped himself down as well, she ignored him the whole time, as Girly Cow played reruns on the television.

He frowned at her as she continued to watch television as if he weren't there at all. This went on for a good ten minutes until he couldn't stand it anymore.

"Why are you ignoring me?" he was getting kind of annoyed with her by this point. "What's your problem this morning?"

"Shut up, would ya?" she snapped out without taking her eyes from the television.

Without an answer he got up and left the Shay's apartment. Sam was mildly surprised that he actually left. She'd grown used to him just sticking around and taking her attitude, but obviously he wasn't in the mood either to deal with it.

Sighing she laid down and attempted to banish the weird feelings building up in the pit of her stomach. She wasn't disappointed at all that he left, no not at all. This was what would become of them once he was off in California or Boston or even Canada. She had no clue where he planned to go; she always avoided the conversations when he and Carly would bring it up. She wasn't prepared to tell the two that a few schools wanted her Physics brain at their school. It was a once in a lifetime deal, who knew if it would be there in a few years. It made choosing between that and the school she'd signed up for in Seattle difficult.

Then there was a few culinary schools she'd signed up for and went through all the proper channels, but they hadn't sent her rejection letters in so she just kept her place at Seattle's best culinary arts school. She just assumed they'd reject her and her dreams to become a master in the kitchen.

These musings would have gone on for quite a while, if not for the loud scream that erupted from across the hall. The shrill anguish-filled voice of Mrs. Benson could be felt through the walls. All that was heard was "Fredward Benson!" followed by a scream and then a thud, like something heavy had fallen over.

She sat up quickly and found herself rushing to the door, only to be met by Spencer, who was wearing only boxers and Carly who was in a robe.

The trio went next door, not bothering to knock at all. They found a shirtless Freddie bent over his mother, trying to get her to wake up.

Carly and Spencer at first hadn't taken notice to the ink on Freddie's back until he made a movement.

"Oh my gosh, what is that on your back?" Carly gasped out, eyes bulging, body frozen in a strange position.

Freddie froze for a moment and then stood up while he mother mumbled, coming to.

"Way to go Freddo!" Spencer grinned, with very enthusiastic thumbs up.

Sam on the other hand didn't look as shocked, but it went unnoticed by her two companions. Freddie laughed nervously and scratched the back of his head.

"When did you get that thing?" Carly looked kind of put off, like she was meeting Freddie for the first time. It was almost like she was seeing him in a new light, like Fred Benson had finally returned to 'bad boy town'. It was a pretty interesting tattoo as well.

The first thing you noticed was the medium sized shield, which dominated most of the tattoo. Above it was a fencing mask, much like a knight's helmet on a family crest. The entire shield piece was nothing but a detailed microchip. It was just so Freddie that it was laughable, if not for the fact that it looked amazingly done. To add to his 'technical' ways, he had what looked like phone cords, but larger swirling around like a snake would. In fact that's what it sort of looked like, two Ethernet cords with snake characteristics creating a border around the crest. The final touch was the fencing swords, which looks as though they were dug deep into the flesh. They created a crisscross design on either side of the shield and exited out the bottom part.

There was also something written in it but it was too small to make out from far away, but it looked like a name or a word.

Carly had to remind herself that this was Freddie, who was by no means a boy of interest to her. It was just shocking to see it there on his back, something she thought she would never witness. Best friends were allowed to admire how 'badboy' it was to get a nice sized tattoo on his back.

"I still can't believe you got that." Sam shook her head while smiling, her arms crossed over her chest.

"You liked it before when…" he stopped himself, blushing ten different shades of red. He could see her getting a little flush as well and a bit angry.

"What was that, Fredward?" Mrs. Benson snapped crazily, springing to life. She jumped to her feet and towered over him with a deadly glare set in.

"Uh…nothing…I was just…nothing…." he stuttered out backing up a little.

Her attention turned to the other people in the room and they all flinched. The look on her face was nothing they'd ever seen before, especially on Mrs. Benson's crazy face. Her eyes were wide while the left side twitched, her mouth set in a disgusted scowl, the lip on the left also twitching. It was a sight to see, but not when you were the target of its steady glare.

"You did this!" she pointed a finger at Carly, who looked dumbfounded by this. She glanced to her left and right at Spencer and Sam, who looked just as surprised. "You told me I should give him more space, that it would make things less stressful, now look at what he's done!" she shrieked like a banshee. "I can't believe I even took advice from you young lady!" she was breathing heavy now while everyone else looked at Carly in confusion.

"I…" Carly wasn't sure what she should say to that.

"Carly." started the blond "Why'd you want to give Freddork more time to himself for?" Sam asked suspiciously raising an eyebrow at her best friend.

"I figured that he'd like a break for a year from having his mom all up in his snowflakes." Carly blurted out throwing her limbs around her in a crazy fashion. Her friends and her sibling looked at her as if asking 'snowflakes'? She shrugged as Mrs. Benson kept her gaze lock on the younger Shay.

"Well I guess that didn't work now did it. My son is a hooligan! A delinquent! Just look at that disgusting mess on his back!" she ranted on with hand gestures. "We're going back to that doctor and having it removed this instant!" she turned her eyes back to a shirtless Freddie who looks nervous, embarrassed and ready to implode in on himself.

"Mom!" he half whined half yelled out, flabbergasted. "I'm not going to get it removed!" he stated in his 'I mean business' voice. Mrs. Benson's facial expression changed dramatically. She looked like she was about to cry as she turned her complete attention to her son. He didn't look too menacing without a shirt on, but still seemed to deliver the right effort to his mother.

"Yo, Benson, why are you running around the house without a shirt on? No one wants an eyeful of that." snorted Sam smirked at his still red face. She really didn't mind the view she had at the moment. She never noticed the small bulges in his biceps. It wasn't very noticeable to the naked eye but she knew they were there. She had felt them for herself when they'd 'play fight'.

"Oh yes you are, you practically defaced your body young man!" cut in Mrs. Benson, ignoring the comment made by Sam.

Something inside Freddie clicked together and he found his spine somewhere, probably in his mother's grasp. He practically ripped it from her and placed it back where it belonged.

"No, I'm not. I wanted it and I love it, so I'm keeping it!" he yelled back at her, surprised by the fact that he'd done so.

She stood up from her hunched position and looked on wide-eyed at the young man before her. Not only did she see more of his father then that moment but also a stronger and confident Freddie. The combination was stifling and she knew that he wouldn't bend to her will this time.

"Are you trying to put me into an early grave?" she pouted losing all posture again, looking defeated.

"What, no mom, I just don't want to get something that I care about, removed. I took the time to design it and make it perfect. I'm not going to destroy it because you disapprove. If you love me then you'll accept it and move on." he had a set face on and she looked him in the eyes and sighed.

"Fine, but I don't want to see it." she told him glaring.

"Then knock before you barge into my room." he rolled his eyes and went back inside his room to put a clean shirt on.

Bored by the events that transpired, Sam turned around and headed back across the hall, Hammy who had stayed right at the door started to dance around her feet as she entered.

"You ready to start the day?" she didn't sound as peppy as she would have liked but it didn't extinguish his excitement. She remembered not to utter the words he knew so well, 'Bath time'. He detested baths with a passion. She made the mistake of saying it once and had to go chasing after him for an hour around the house. Freddie had assisted her at that time, managed to get him to come out of his hiding place with a piece of ham and the promise of 'going outside' which he seemed to love to do.

All it would take was a 'Who wants to go outside?' He'd come running, leaping and tugging to get there. After that she'd decided to just scoop him up before he became wise to her intentions.

Once he was in her arms she made her way to the downstairs bathroom near Spencer's room. His doggy soup and such items were all there waiting for them. She made sure to close the door so he couldn't escape and started up the water, picking a lukewarm temperature that suited Hammy.

With many slips and attempted escapes pretty soon there was a clean and wet Hammy outside the bathtub. She grabbed the biggest towel she could and began to dry him off while he wiggled underneath, trying to self dry. When he managed to get out of her hands he shook his whole body causing water to splash all over her, like she'd walked through the rain.

She gasped and looked offended by his actions and he began to get into 'play-fight' position. With his tail up in the air and his head low to the ground he started to growl, wagging his whole butt, waiting for her to make her first move.

"Don't even think about it Hams." she warned squinting her right eye at him. He began to make a sound that was a cross between a bark and a whine. "No." she told him shaking her head. He started to move back and forth on the floor with his tail still in the air.

Just as she was about to tell him 'no' again the bathroom door opened and he shot out of the bathroom yipping in victory at his sudden escape. The person accused of the prisoners escape looked confused standing there in all his striped shirt glory.

Freddie looked scared, like he'd just met up with a tiger right before meal time.

"Wait…Sam…I'm sorry…I thought…you…you know….needed help…" he stuttered, he'd done that twice so far that day. It was barely noon and he was already a stuttering mess.

"Now I've got a wet dog on the loose!" she pushed past him and started after Hammy. "Get back here you little demon!" she yelled shaking her fist in the airs as a wet Hammy zoomed past her and into Spencer's room. He proceeded to jump up on the bed and flip on his back, rolling about in a spastic happy puppy mode.

Once he saw her enter, with Freddie behind her he perked up and darted out of the room, under their legs.

"I can't believe he's doing this again!" cried out Freddie turning around and running out of the room after the little demon.

"It's your fault you know. You could have knocked first." she gave him smug look as she joined him in the living room. Hammy was rolling on the carpet at this point.

The two didn't even bother to wonder what happened to the Shay's who hadn't come back from the earlier incident. Even his mother didn't bother poking her head in.

Once they both took opposite sides, surrounding him in front of the television, they moved closer slowly. He seemed aware of their plan but didn't make a move to get away.

The pair gave each other the signal to tackle the pup and followed through. What they weren't expecting was that Hammy was waiting for them to do it and darted toward the coffee table as the two crashed into one another. Freddie was the one to collide with Sam first, landing on top of her.

They froze, looking at one another, Freddie's legs tangled in hers.

"We really need to stop ending up in situations like this. People are going to start thinking there's something going on." he joked, only being able to see his bright chocolate eyes. Speaking of chocolate, that hair of his wasn't helping her out either, it led her mind to naughty thoughts of a Freddie dipped in chocolate.

"You have amazing eyes…" he muttered not turning his eyes away from hers.

She looked thoughtful for a moment, as though the words he had spoken meant something to her.

He brought his hand up and brushed away her bangs from her eyes and smiled the most beautiful smile she'd ever seen on another human being. It was almost heartbreaking to see all that untapped love in his eyes. The sight of it was blinding and intense, her heart couldn't take it as it beat hard, trying to escape its bone cage.

The reactions that she got from the supposed 'dork' weren't normal. Then again they could never be normal when it came to 'love'. The two would always find a bump in the road and they'd have to find a way to compromise or fail.

She wasn't going to give in though. She told herself that she'd at least let him go. It wouldn't be too hard; she didn't really have him anyways to give away like some prize. She also would never admit it out loud but he was special, she could clearly see that. Maybe she'd always known it, no, she had always known. Even in the days when she wanted to dislike him for just existing on the same planet as her. Even in the beginning she could lie to everyone but herself. She learned though that Fredward Benson was a stubborn boy, even when it came to friendship. He was far too difficult to give up on anything he put his mind to. She only saw it as another 'fight' for them, a constant struggle they went though. He'd pull and she'd push, though he still had a firm grasp.

She saw it a new challenge that she'd easily overcome. But if the end result was a broken-hearted Freddie, could she really do it? Her favorite past-time was once to torture the nub until he broke, but that was before she realized that she actually cared about him. It was foreign for her to put her own heart out on the line and take another's in to care for. She had a short list of people who had all of her, even then there were restrictions.

Freddie didn't know how much of her heart was already his; he probably would never know it either. The words wouldn't leave her lips and trail off into his ears, they were hers to keep.

But he'd have her heart for as long as she lived, even if it sounded cheesy and overly done. It might not have been 'her' to hold such feelings toward another human being but that was just it, she was a human being who knew what actual feelings were. That didn't change the fact that she was as tough as nails and would take you down if you stepped a toe out of line. But this dorky guy who wasn't so much a dork anymore managed to remind her that she was in fact a female with feelings, other than her usual brand of emotions.

It was good thing there weren't any mind readers around to invade her thoughts. Pushing all of it aside she came back to reality, it felt like hours passed, but they were only a few seconds, maybe even minutes. Freddie's big brown eyes were still looking at her and she could feel a slight tug on her lips, which she tried to fight off. She refused to smile up at him like a lovesick teenage girl, refused!

"Get up would ya?" she snipped out, her hands on his chest, pushing on it.

His smile didn't vanish though, but got bigger as she attempted to get out from under him, again. They couldn't have a normal relationship. Wait, not a relationship, friends-with-benefits, but even that sounded stupid in her mind. He seemed to have realized how 'uncomfortable' she felt having him that close to her and moved his hands a little so that he was holding her head in his hands.

"You know, I like you like this…" he mumbled looking into her eyes still, smiling wistfully.

"Huh?" she was truly confused by his statement and the way that he was looking down at her. She never thought a boy or male would ever look at her the way that he always seemed to, even when she made him mad and a little crazy at times.

"Stunned…" he smirked and she found herself glaring up at him. "And my other favorite part of you is back…" he laughed and took off some of his body weight from her person.

"I find that hard to believe you nub." she frowned looking off to the side, not wanting to meet his eyes. He was momentarily distracted by her sudden aversion so she flipped him off of her. This only caused Hammy to come over to them and attempt to break up the fight by getting involved. It made no sense to her why he thought that if he bit them they'd stop fighting. The dog had issues.

"Ah! Hammy, no not that!" cried Freddie, still on his back. Sam had managed to put some distance between them and gather herself. Why'd he have to go and say crap like that for? Was he just doing it to mess with her mind, like some stupid teenage boy.

Then it dawned on her, he was a stupid teenage boy.

Something else was brought to the forefront of her mind; Carly and Spencer were nowhere to be seen. Even Mrs. Benson hadn't come in to continue her crazy rant.

Looking around she found that the apartment was eerily quiet and the door was closed shut. Freddie must have done so when he showed up.

"Yo, Fredduccini Alfredo, where's Carls and Spence?"

He paused, holding onto Hammy who continued to nibble on Freddie's long-sleeved shirt.

"They said they had to go somewhere." he stated looking bored by their conversation and shrugged. "Didn't say where and then they left. My mom stormed off into her room before they left and she locked the door."

"I don't know what to even think about what happened over there." she shook her head. "So they didn't say where they were going?"

"Nope. They said they'd be back in an hour though." He returned his attention the Hammy who demanded to be paid attention to.

* * *

If it were at all possible Carly Shay was elated by the envelops gripped tightly in her hand. It might have been a little odd that she was excited over the possibility of getting rejected by any of the schools she'd applied to. For someone like Carly that thought in itself should have been sending her over the edge into crazyville. But she held onto the very thick envelop with her name and address printed on it, with Syracuse's logo printed nicely in the corner.

She just knew that inside her whole future would be set, her dreams were only a tear away. It was around five that Saturday afternoon when she found herself back at home. The morning events still ran through her mind, which brought an even bigger smile to her face. Everything was going according to plan and even her conspirator managed to up-play their role well.

From the video feed she'd watched earlier she felt like the randomness of that scene was worth it. Her two best friends were none the wiser. It's how she liked them, clueless and walking right into her little traps. When she thought about it she sounded almost like a villain in a really cheesy superhero movie. She wasn't the villain though; she was doing this for their own good as well as for mankind. No other human being should have to suffer with either of her friends; they should suffer happily with one another.

With a skip in her step she walked into the loft/apartment, who knew anymore. Sam was nowhere to be seen and Spencer was also gone, said something about meeting up with Socko, hours previous. Though Sam did state that Roger wanted to take her out for some lunch and just to hang, which seemed to make the brunette even happier, if that were at all possible. Sam finally had a chance at a normal relationship with one of her parents.

What she noticed though when she got to the island was that there were two envelops for Sam. One was really thin, with hard to read cursive on the corner. The other was very thick and had a symbol on it. She could clearly read what it said on the front, the place in which it had come from.

Sam was holding out on her, avoiding ever talking about school, but this was proof that something else was up. She didn't want to pry into her friends' mail so she pushed the thoughts away and decided to put it up in her room for her.

* * *

Freddie sighed as he flipped through Sam's Physic's textbook, the pages were worn and some were marked with bent corners. Even if he thought about it over and over it still wouldn't sink in, Sam Puckett was a crazy Physics lover. The question was how and why? What had caused her to love something that was so unlike her?

Nothing in it caught his attention so he put it back on her night stand and flopped back onto her bed, which smelled of her. He always used to assume that she didn't shower regularly or follow normal society's views on hygiene, he was dead wrong. The girl smelled amazing. Then again she just might smell good to specifically him.

He read somewhere about how some people give off a scent just for another person. Did Sam have that same reaction to his scents? Something like the scent of cherry lollipops shouldn't send him into a dizzy hazed trip into Samland. But he was there and practically swimming in it, everything seemed brighter whenever he was in her room.

As he sighed and sat up he heard a weird crinkling noise come from the mattress. Curiously he got off the bed and bent down on the right side of the bed and found a manila folder poking out. It was nicely squished between the mattress and the box spring, as though it were being hidden.

After he lifted the mattress a bit he was able to pull it out and allow the mattress to fall back into place. Some part of his cranium told him not to intrude upon Sam's privacy, she didn't want anyone to find out about whatever was inside, but curiosity got the better of him.

Plopping his butt onto the bed he got comfortable and laid it down on top of the comforter. The bed was made, due to his need to keep things clean, especially in her room. She told him to leave her bed alone or he'd have to leave. So he did as she asked until she left with Hammy, then he made the bed, smirking the entire time.

The entire thing was filled with applications to some of the most prestigious schools in the United States. Not only that, but there was already acceptance letters attached. As if the schools just wanted to follow protocol and have her 'apply'. It was a huge eye-opener to Freddie as he read each one, coming to the realization that each wanted her because of her intense love for Physics. He wondered though for a moment how they all knew about that if no one else in her life did.

She had a few sticky notes attached to some of them and even on the inner side of the manila folder.

'_This looks interesting, they have a culinary arts school close by'_ one said that was attached to 'Harvard'. Another that was attached to the same application said _'Might consider, close enough to Syracuse, can visit Carls on the weekends'._

These made him smile one; because she already figured that Carly got into her dream college and two; because she was still thinking about culinary arts school.

Then it all seemed to sink in, as he read the rest of the sticky notes.

On the few for California she had in jet-black marker _'Fredweird might go to these school' _and _'I can't go here if Freddork is'_.

She planned to get as far from him possible, even if that meant going to Massachusetts. She just assumed he'd be going to Berkeley, because he once loved mathematics as much as she loved Physics. But what she didn't know was that his dreams changed and he wished to pursue film school. He just never felt the need to share this with his two friends, may as well let them assume what they wanted.

When the thought that she wanted to put distance between them really sunk in he felt like someone had cut off his oxygen. It was like someone told him that the sun and moon decided to swap jobs and the moon was in charge most of the time. That whole thought didn't even make sense in his mind.

The point of his thought process was that Sam had it in her mind still that she'd be a burden on him. Her plan became quite clear to him as he sat there looking at all the schools she approved of, in Massachusetts. What she hadn't realized was that she unknowingly chose the one place he'd hoped to end up as well. He applied to a few film schools and hoped to get into Boston University for film study.

With a smirk he closed the manila and placed it back into its hiding place. Just as he fell onto the bed Carly entered and was surprised to see him there.

"Hey Freddie." she said with a surprised smile. "I didn't know you were still here." she looked at him suspiciously.

"Yeah, I didn't feel like going home until my mom leaves for work night." he shrugged and continued to look up at the ceiling. The smile on his face said 'I win' and Carly seemed to notice this, but kept it to herself. Whatever had Freddie happy, she'd find out later when he did something.

"I was just bringing up Sam's mail, I'm tempted to just read them." she laughed. She placed them on the table and was about to leave when she stopped at the opening and looked over her shoulder at him. "You know what?" she asked looking thoughtful.

"What?" he asked sitting up.

"We haven't gone down the Groovy Smoothie in a while, what do you say? We don't just hang out anymore." she smiled sadly.

He jumped up off the bed and headed towards her.

"Let's do this." he nodded with a serious look on his face, as though they were about to embark on an epic mission. She fought the urge to roll her eyes as they headed toward the elevator and down to the lobby.

Carly couldn't remember the last time that she'd just hung out with Freddie on his own. With the stresses of the new year of high school along with the events over the past few months it seems like ages.

"It's so great that we're doing this." Carly grinned at her male best friend in the elevator.

"Seriously, we need a good hang out session. We hardly get to see you as it is."

She pouted at his statement and looked off into the distance, which wasn't much considering that they were inside of the elevator. She should have felt a little guilty over the fact that she'd been keeping her distance over the course of six months. There was no guilt though, not when her reasons were for her two dearest friends. They couldn't know this of course and by chance she met David as well and he managed to take up a chunk of her time as well.

"Hey." started Freddie, realizing something. "Did you open it?" he smirked over at her.

She wondered if he was picking up some of Sam's mischievous nature, with the way he kept smirking. He had grown up a lot, that she could see and it was all thanks to Sam, in her opinion.

"Not yet, I'm going to wait until later, when Sam and I can open them together." she grinned as the stepped off the elevator. "Did you get yours yet?"

"Yeah I got mine yesterday." he shrugged.

"Well?" she prodded waiting for an answer.

"What?" he wanted to laugh as they bypassed a sleeping Lewbert and made it outside the Bushwell Plaza. She always got impatient when she wanted an answer from someone.

"Did you get into Berkeley?"

The question made he want to laugh, but he held it in, Carly also knew that he used to want to go to Berkeley, they had an amazing mathematics department where might have excelled.

"Nope." he smirked again and just rolled her eyes. This was going to be hard to get used to, a Freddie who was more confident and bold. He was still a spaz though and constantly did things that remaindered why he wasn't for her, but they made the greatest best friends.

"You are going to tell me, right?" she poked his side and he wiggled from her reach as the headed across the street.

"Maybe." he smiled.

* * *

Sam grinned as she stood next to Roger in line. She couldn't believe that they were going to do this. Of course he brought along one of his 'assistants' who were really interns to watch Hammy. She made sure to warn the guy that if anything happened to Hammy that he'd find out why she was arrest multiple times in fact, his kids would feel it as well. Hammy was important to her and she realized that it was almost like having a kid, except that he liked steals Spencer's socks and laying on them.

She glanced over at Oliver, who was a pretty scrawny guy who had a nice hold on Hammy's leash. He looked nervous that he'd mess up but Sam had also given Hammy specific instructions to stay put and to be good.

Hammy yipped when she looked over and she grinned at him and bobbed her head side to side. She cold tell from her place in line that his tail was wagging happily.

"You ready for this one?" he asked finishing off he ice cream cone.

Roger had promised to take her to Fun Forest Amusement Park, since neither of them had ever gone before. Sam had always wanted her mom to take, like a normal family would do on the weekends but it never came up. Once her mom agreed to go but told her they'd go another time, it never happened.

"Oh yeah, the Orbiter is so going down!" Sam did a little happy dance while they moved to the rope, finally reaching their destination.

She raised her head up toward the green beast known as the Orbiter. It looked like a robotic octopus from where she was standing. Yet she was actually excited about going on it. They stood there watching it about three times while in line.

"You ready old man?" she jabbed dancing past the guy collecting tickets for the ride. Roger handed over four to him and joined his overly excited daughter. As they waited for the ride to start up the just sat there staring at each other with excited grins on their faces. Roger reached over to strap her in even though she could do it herself and secured it.

"So are you going to tell me what you decided yet?" they had been talking on their way to the Fun Forest Amusement Park as well as the past week or so about what her teacher had done.

Since he wasn't involved with her friends she felt like she could tell him about the whole 'university' thing.

"Kind of, I just don't think I can do it all, you know?" she was being quite candid with him and it almost took him by surprise. He kept his cool though and just nodded. "I got a letter in the mail last week about that school I was planning on going to here but it fell through. I guess they filled up their roster. So now I've got to wait for a bunch of other schools, just to see if I'll get into any of those."

"What if you don't end up getting into a culinary arts school?"

"Then I guess I'm going to have to just accept Harvard's offer and go there."

"You make it sound like it's a death sentence." he laughed. "Harvard is a really good school after all."

"But it's not for me though. I mean it's great and all that I got in but can you see me at some fancy-for-the-rich-kids school?"

"Actually I can." he grinned as the machine started up and they were off.

Once off the ride and laughing their heads off they headed back toward Oliver who seemed calmer. It appeared that Hammy had done as he was told and didn't move.

Sam snatched up the leash from Oliver and told him to go on a few of the rides. Her dad walked along side her as they searched for something to snack on.

"Do you really think so?" she asked after about five minutes of silence between them; Roger stuffing his face with cotton candy. He looked over at her and looked confused for a moment.

"Huh?"

"You said you can see me at a school like that." she reminded him.

"Yeah I can." he nodded and finished off his treat.

Hammy pulled them along the concession stands as Sam took in the words her father had stated.

"Why?" she couldn't stop herself from asking as the sun started to head closer to the horizon. The skies were turning a cool orange color as well as light fluffy pinks.

"Because you can pretty much do anything you put your mind to. Why not show the world that you are more than some abrasive girl? You don't have to live up to everyone else's expectations other than your own. I know that you'll do what makes you happy."

Sam stopped walking which caused Hammy to trot over to her legs and stare up at her in confusion. Roger turned from his position a foot away and raised an eyebrow.

"I…how can you…" she looked really lost and confused while her wide eyes stared into his.

"How can I what?"

To say he was confused by her would be an understatement. He was just plain floored at that point. The look on her face was odd to see there, given that it was Sam, the girl he'd had months to get to know and they really had bonded. Yet she made sure to protect herself from being hurt. He'd already made that mistake once and it cost him the world. It just amazed him that she was letting him in slowly and trusting him with things that she wouldn't even tell her best friend. They had fun together just hanging out or joking around. She was coming around though and she even considered him her father on some level, it touched him greatly to have that little piece of knowledge.

"How can you just believe in me when I don't even believe in myself most times?" she managed to say, with an embarrassed blush creeping along her cheeks.

"Because I love you…" he also looked kind of embarrassed but not because of what he said. He meant it and he wasn't going to take it back.

Her head fell forward a bit and she looked down at Hammy who's big eyes were still locked onto hers. A small smile started to form and then she looked back up at her dad who was still looking at her with a look of confusion.

"Let's get going old man, I promised Spencer I'd cook dinner tonight."

"Is that an invitation?" he asked followed after her, still a bit shocked by the moment they had just had.

"Duh." she rolled her eyes smiling as they headed to his little car. It wasn't until they were at the light that they realized they forgot Oliver.

* * *

**Panda Note:** So you've just finished reading the chapter. Sad there wasn't a lot of Seddie? Well there will be much more in the next chapter, I think. I did enjoy writing this one though and it didn't take me two weeks to finish. I'm kind of sad though that it is taking me so long to write, not like when I first started this. Some of you might remember those days….

Anyways so let me know what you thought and I'd also like to know what you think of the whole 'Sam going to school' thing. I pretty much have it in my mind where I'm going with it but I'd love to know what all of you are thinking.

I did end up sort of describing the tattoo, which was thought out and described to me by the awesome Luna Moody. I didn't know when I should bring it up but this seemed to work itself out. I also missed Mrs. Benson's craziness so we had to have more of her.

I'm surprised that this whole entire chapter is all of just Saturday. I was expecting to go into more days, but this was fine on it's own. I'm also thinking that is going to be a lot longer then I intended as well, let me know how you feel about that as well. I could cut down on a few things I planned to write or I can write them out. See I have this 'calendar that I made for the story, plotting out when things happened and in which chapters, so as to not get lost. When I thought about when it would end I found that there was going to be at least seven to eight more chapters, which is way too long in my eyes. But I don't want to rush it either.

Seriously guys I gotta know what you think about what I just said. I think I go into detail on some parts and so this really could go on forever. I don't want to be one of those writers that goes all the way to 'chapter 40' or higher. I wanted this over by chapter 20 but that isn't going to happen.

Wow this was a long note.

Oh yeah and if you were wondering about the 'Cuttlefish' band coming on iCarly, that will be mentioned also in coming chapters.

**

* * *

Okay, onto reviewers I can't message privately:**

**anonymous:** Why thank you! I will try my best! :) Hope this chapter made your day :D

**Country_girl:** 'ello! Thanks for reading and enjoying it and that's just awesome lol, I hope this update made you happy!

**Marisa:** lol thanks! I hope you liked this one too! :D

**Seddie101:** LMAO okay that was pretty much amazing dude!! Goodness I knew I could be violent but wow! XD at least it was in a good way :) I'm blushing though now, thanks!

* * *

If I haven't messaged you yet, I have horrible memory and I forget things all the time. But I will make sure to!

You guys rock and I'll see ya soon, not sure when I'll be updating, but after I watch 'What Goes Up' I might start the next chapter.

Do the right thing, click that box right there in green lettering and tell me all that I wanna know!

Oh and the message above, do that too, go read all those stories!!


	16. Prom and Anti Prom

**Disclaimer:** I must report that I do not in any way shape or form own Carly, Sam, Freddie or Spencer. There have been a few instances where I could have owned Mrs. Benson but then I realized that I couldn't have all that crazy on me. I gave her back, even though I love her. There is no room for her brand of crazy with my already insane mother. So it is with a heavy heart that I tell you I do not own iCarly or anything that has come from the **Bakery of Schneider**. I know that all of you had hoped that the money we haven't raised yet would get **Luna Moody** exclusive rights but that hasn't happened yet. So sorry guys, really I am. But for now I'll just own this plot and Hammy, who btw has become a fan favorite, I love that!

**Panda Note:** Okay so for this chapter I'm going to once again give props to some awesome stories out there. I really hope you guys go read and review, they deserve it. If you're a writer then you can understand how difficult it is to put yourselves out there and write these stories. So do it, go read these stories and review!!

iGo to Dingo World by **Fictions of Legends **- Seddie

iCarly's own MLP by **luna moody **- Seddie

Different by** xxjourney** – Spam

15 Going On 25 by **OmfgNewCeiling** – Seddie

iDo by **Harry Potter Fan 1994** – Seddie

There All Along by **Delanie Faye** – Seddie

iWon't Be Seventeen Forever by **LuDiamonds - **Seddie

The JournalDiaryBlog Thing of Sam Puckett by** AwkwardSquirrel **- Seddie

All stories written by:** Basco57** [go read!]

Also a super special thanks to **Absolutely_m** for the translation from English to Spanish. I know that it was didn't sound 'right' but yet it did. Dude you serious are awesome for doing that for me! I can't wait until you write some stuff in English!! You can do it! I'll post the English version in the note down at the bottom. Oh and one more thing, the s'mores part thing was from the awesome **Luna Moody**, who inspired it, credit to you madam!

Oh and there's a pic of Freddie Tat on my profile, its not finished but he main part is.

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* * *

Chapter Fifteen**

It didn't feel right being in this particular store. The blond wanted out the moment her feet touched the small carpet at the front door. Carly had already heard about what she and Freddie had planned. Sam explained it to her in great detail that a dress wasn't required at an anti-prom. That was sort of the whole point of the anti. But no, the brunette found her right after her last class and dragged her off, giving David and Freddie a short answer of "Girl stuff" before pulling her blond friend out of the school. She managed to convince her boyfriend to let her use his car sometime during school and also managed to get Freddie to take him home. The girl was quite persuasive when she wanted to be. It made the blond wonder why her best friend wanted to be a journalist when she could just as easily be a lawyer.

What Sam Puckett couldn't figure out was why she needed to help her stylish friend find a prom dress? Carly used to pick out her dresses for her when she had to go to an oboe recital years ago. It just seemed like Carly wanted the company if anything. The point was that Sam stood near the door while her best friend searched through dozens of dresses, all reeking of the strong stench of 'prom'. Just the thought of that night made her stomach flop.

Of course she wasn't going to the prom but she was spending that night with her not-boyfriend-friend Fredward Benson, of all people. He found a special way to even ask her too, trapped her inside an elevator and got her to say yes, he got to live though. She did give him major kudos for being original. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad to go do whatever it was that anti-prom-goers did. As long as she could wear whatever she wanted and got to have fun then she was good.

She followed Carly around the expensive looking store, cringing every time they passed a dress with ruffles or satin material. Her dear girly friend squealed suddenly and Sam was broken from her thought process. The webshow host held up a red dress with black fringe underneath. It had a bit of ruffle to it but wasn't too overly done. It almost looked like a cocktail dress, except that it had prom undertones. Carly would be the most attractive girl at the prom though, that was for sure.

"What do you think?" Carly asked worriedly holding up the halter-top, crimson dress toward her best friend. She may as well have asked Freddie what he thought of it he might have known better than her, too bad she let him off the hook to hang with David. In fact the boys would have probably enjoyed having Carly model dresses for them; she sure wasn't have the time of her life.

"It's fine, can we go?" Sam folded her arms over her chest and huffed. The dress still dangled before her while Carly gouged her reaction to it. From the small smile on her face it seemed to please the brunette and she nodded happily. She didn't think that it would have been so easy to find the right dress.

Carly had done research for weeks online trying to find out which color dress would go right with her brunette hair color. Most sites suggested turquoise but she was more than sure that the other girls at school who were more knowledgeable in fashion would be doing that. She found that if she wore the red dress it would give her more of an edge.

This dress was practically begging her to buy it, how could she ignore its calls? Plus it was on sale and Carly loved to save money and she wasn't for spending a fortune on a dress she'd only wear once.

"I'm getting this dress before someone else decides to snatch it up." Carly winked and wandered off to the dressing rooms to see how well it fit. She just might have to have a seamstress fix it up before the prom, which was eight days away, on the nineteenth of May, a Saturday. That didn't give her nearly as much time as she wished, but then she was Carly Shay, she could do just about anything, if she put her mind to it.

Sam plopped into a vacant chair in front of a trio of mirrors while Carly talked to her through the thick black fabric covering the changing room.

"Are you sure that you and Freddie won't change your minds?" she asked in a muffled voice, Sam assumed she was struggling to get out of her shirt. "Oh goodness." she groaned, a thud being heard, it sounded liked like she bumped into the wall.

"Uh, no we're not changing our minds anytime soon, kid." she answered the question as though she hadn't heard Carly fumbling around.

"But it's supposed to be a milestone in our young lives." continued her best friend, who seemed to have removed her clothing, the sound of elbows ramming into the wooden walls couldn't be heard.

"You know how I am about those frilly dances Carls. Can you really see me all dressed up like a Thanksgiving turkey?"

There was a short pause in which she could just see her best friend picturing this. Soon a soft almost defeated sigh could be heard.

"I suppose you're right, I feel kind of weird still about going without you guys."

"We told you that you're more than welcomed to join us on our night of fun. But we understand that this is something you and David gotta do."

"We should meet up at home that night and just do something together, since we won't be together all night." suggested the brunette finally stepping out from the dressing room.

The dress seemed to be made just for her, it fit in all the right place and it brought out her best features. Carly struck a few poses for her buddy and then started to dance randomly in it.

"Get it Carls, it's the right dress." sighed the blond, though she had to admit that it was a nice dress, if she cared for dresses that is.

"I so am!" cheered Carly going back into the dressing room to put her clothes back on.

"Oh, dude, I have to get to work in about 20 minutes, can you drop me off?" Sam realized looking at her phone.

"I forgot!" realized Carly, who had kidnapped Sam. "I'll buy this dress and then drop you off." elbows could be heard again, must have been trying to get her shirt back on.

"Get a move on woman!" snipped Sam, not really meaning it, Roger never got on her case if she was late, which seemed to be happening a lot more lately.

Once Carly rushed out and made sure to get the dress wrapped up they headed for David's vehicle. It still surprised her that he'd even let her drive it, guys were pretty weird about their girlfriends driving their cars.

"Say, Carls." she started getting her best friends attention.

"Huh?" the brunette asked drumming her fingers on the steering wheel but giving Sam her attention.

"How'd you get David to let you use his car?"

Carly giggled at this and had a cheesy grin on her face.

"Surprisingly enough he didn't get too worked up about letting me drive his car. That's what you were getting at right?"

"Well ya…I mean…Benson won't even let me sit in the driver's seat." she mumbled, not really sure why she let that slip. It shouldn't bother her so much that David let Carly and Benson was still uptight about it. The parallels did nothing for her though. She supposed that they were a bit different than Carly and David, though she still stuck to her guns and told herself that she and Fredward Benson weren't 'together'. So he was under no obligation to let her drive his precious car. She felt sort of stupid after having a little mini-rant in her mind about driving a car.

There was more meaning behind it though and she knew this but it just wasn't the time to go into that realm.

"Why do you care if Freddie let's you drive his car; I thought you hated it?"

"I hate how he's always so protective of it and I don't care if he doesn't let me drive it." she huffed, although she noticed Carly giving her a knowing look. She hated to admit it but she did care, it said a lot in terms of trust between two people. It might not have seemed that way but to most men their cars are their most prized possessions and trusting your partner with it said something. Not that they were 'partners' or together, who was she trying to kid?

"He's a guy, even if you don't see it sometimes, just use some of your womanly wiles on him."

Sam's eyes grew wide and she turned her blond head towards her best friend who was now grinning from ear to ear. She couldn't believe that Carly was actually suggesting what she was suggesting and teasing her too!

"You know that's not how I get my way."

"Maybe a new method is needed to get a different result." shrugged Carly.

* * *

This wasn't what she was expecting to come home to after dropping Sam at work. She half expected her boyfriend and Freddie to just watch TV or something but not this.

Who knew that if you left a bunch of guys alone for a couple hours that this could happen.

The first thing she noticed was that Spencer didn't have a shirt on, David had it and was running around the kitchen while Freddie and Spencer fenced, saying things she couldn't quite understand. It dawned on her that they were role playing 'Galaxy Wars', or quite possibly some other 'nerd' related thing she wouldn't know about.

David got tired of running and joined in on the duel happening behind the couch. At one point it worked its way to the stairs, with Spencer moving backward up them. It seemed that Freddie and David were working together to take him down. The dialogue was far too confusing for her to keep up with so she just pretended to not see them.

"Admit defeat fiend!" cried David with the clang of the swords.

"Never will I claim defeat vile heroines!"

It was horrendous, the dialog and the battle cries mostly, she wondered if she should just break it up.

As she stood near the front door watching this spectacle with growing annoyance she wondered if she should just turn around and leave. They wouldn't even know that she had been there.

Just as these thoughts came to her cheers broke out from the two younger males in the room who were high fiving each other and doing strange victory dances together.

On the one hand she was glad that Freddie and David had bonded over pretend-killing her brother but this was a whole new side of David she wasn't used to.

The phrase 'Bromance' came to mind at that moment and for some reason it made her smile. Maybe what Freddie and David really needed were guy friends. David didn't really hang with anyone in particular, except her and on a good day he might talk with someone from Trig. But it just seemed appropriate that Freddie would be the guy he's become friends with, and over something as silly as this, in her mind.

Spencer's defeated body lay sprawled on the stairs as he continued to pretend he was dead.

With a sigh she cleared her throat loudly and the two boys doing a random victory dance stopped mid move and looked over at her.

"Oh hey Carly!" grinned Freddie.

"You're back, how'd the hunt go?" David smiled and walked over to her, kissing her on the cheek.

Despite what she had just seen she could get past the fact that her boyfriend had odd hobbies, like her brother and best friends. It was unavoidable really, she was destined to be apart of obscurities.

* * *

"Sit still, will you?" Roger whined watching Sam swirl around in the chair next to his. After only being there thirty minutes she was bored and annoyed that she had to sit through another recording, and the band just wasn't her cup of tea. But since it was Roger's business and he represented all types of artists, she had to suffer through it for a few more hours.

"Couldn't I go do something else?" she complained slouching in her chair.

"Like what?" he asked continuing to move around the panels on the mix board.

"I don't know, but listening to this music is driving me nuts."

"It usually doesn't."

"But that's because there's music I actually like in there." she frowned and glared over at the band inside 'doing there thing'. "I'm not picky with music, but they just aren't that great to me."

The older man sighed, with shoulders slumped; at times she could be difficult, he knew this. She'd been acting really strangely since their talk a week ago. It wasn't as though she were 'mad' at him, just a little surprised and taken aback. It wasn't like him to say the thing he had said and yet he didn't regret it at all. He's always loved his daughter, even when he wasn't there for her like he should have been. He had always just thought that he'd never see her again, the damage being done already.

It was miraculous that she'd let him back in after he walked out on her.

Yet it shocked him that Saturday, a week ago that she wasn't expecting someone to love her, who should love her. Even with the time apart that wouldn't change for him, that was his 'little girl' who wasn't so little anymore, he accepted this and dealt with it as best he could. It was difficult at times to know that she was now a grown woman, about to move on with her life.

He just hoped that she'd make the right choices, like being with Freddie and following her real dream. His job was to advice her as best he could, what she did with that information was entirely up to her.

"Look, we've only got an hour and a half until you have to leave to do iCarly so we've got to get to work."

"Why'd you schedule me on Friday anyways?"

"Because you couldn't work Monday, remember?" he rolled his eyes as she flipped the laptop lid open. "Just type up that letter and we can go grab something to eat before you have to do iCarly." he smiled when she perked up. Whenever he promised to treat her to food it made her extremely happy, so he tried to do it as much as possible.

"I want burritos!" she grinned and then allowed her fingers to sprint across the keyboard. She was eternally grateful for those typing classes.

"I found this great place down the street, they make these huge burritos."

"They do that?" she looked up surprised.

"They do, as big as your head." he laughed as her eyes grew wide for a moment.

"Can't we just go now?" she complained, jabbing at the keys a little harder than necessary. The words flowed across the document as she copied from the sheet of paper to the side, on the table.

"No, I have to finish this take first and then we'll be done." he didn't have to look over at her to know that she was annoyed by this. "So how's school?" he couldn't believe he just asked that cliché, 'parent' question, but he actually really wanted to know.

"It was school." she shrugged. "Annoying teachers, books, you know the usual."

"How's the soul searchin' going?" he grinned when her eyes shifted away from the laptop screen. She couldn't resist rolling her eyes at him when he asked this. He would ask her at random about the school she decided on going to.

"I already told you, I don't know what I should do. On the one hand I could go to a prissy school and get to be involved in physics, for real. Then on the other hand Le Cordon Bleu sent me an acceptance letter, how can I ignore that? If I go there then I could learn more about something I love."

"Maybe you already have your answer."

"Why do you keep saying things like that? It doesn't make any sense."

"You'll figure it out."

"What kind of parent says invasive things to their kid?"

"A cool parent?" he grinned and pushed the intercom button. "Guys, one more time and we'll be finished for the day." he informed the bad inside who got ready to finish off the chorus they'd been working on since Sam had first arrived. From what Roger had explained they'd been doing that same chorus for an hour, long before she showed up.

"Right." she frowned over at him while finishing up the paragraph she was on.

After reading it over she nodded to herself and clicked the send button.

"Done already?"

"Yes, can we go stuff our faces now?" she slumped over on the table in front of her and groaned.

"In a minute." another groan came from the chair next to his.

* * *

Saturday's bright sun burned Sam's eyes as she had to practically push herself out of bed. She couldn't understand why she was so tired; she'd gone to bed pretty early the night before. Carly had them watch a movie together that night too, after iCarly had ended. Spencer joined them, which almost never happened. It had been quite a while since they'd been able to sit around on a Friday night and watch a movie.

Freddie seemed to be off somewhat and she couldn't figure out what it was. She went to bed that night with it on her mind and still there when she woke up.

Taking a quick glance over at the clock she realized it was still pretty early. Waking up at six in the morning had been a strange occurrence for her as of late as well.

She could easily just turn over and go back to bed; no one needed her at this hour anyway?

As if by some outside divined source; Hammy's now medium sized body crawled over towards her and plopped his head on her stomach.

"You want to go out don't you?" she asked him and he began to get hyper at the word 'out'. Something about it just got him psyched. "Just give me a moment, will ya?" he whimpered but obeyed, plopping back down on the bed, lying on his paws.

Once out of bed and somewhat dressed she grabbed his leash and headed for the door, with him properly attached to the chain.

What she wasn't expecting was to find Freddie downstairs in the lobby when she stepped off the elevator. Lewbert wasn't anywhere to be found, which was a relief; she wasn't in the mood to deal with him.

"Benson, what are you doing down here?" she found herself asking him as Hammy practically yanked her toward him. He jumped up and clawed at Freddie's pants. He bent over to scratch the top of the pups head.

"I was going to go for a walk." he shrugged, looking a bit off still. She felt her eyebrows knit together as she observed his posture, he looked like he had a lot on his mind and she figured he'd tell her eventually. "Taking him out?"

Hammy started to pull Sam towards the door excitedly. This earned a smile from Freddie who started toward the door with Sam leading the way out the door.

After about ten minutes of walking she couldn't take his silence, it didn't feel right.

"What's the deal? You were acting like this last night too." She stopped walking and turned to her right to look at Freddie. "Well?" she asked.

"I don't want to talk about it."

A fist flew into his gut then and knocked the wind out of him.

"It wasn't a request dorkburger, it was a demand." she glared as he tried to catch his breath.

"It's about the anti-prom, okay!" he shot back with his own glare, while holding his stomach.

"What about it? We go to wherever it is and get it over with and then come home." She shrugged, not understanding why he was making such a big deal out of it. This was sort of the whole point of not going to actual prom. They were supposed to have fun that night and not have to deal with the circus that was the high school prom.

Yet Freddie seemed to be a complete mess and if it had something to do with the 'anti-prom' then it must have been big.

"It's not important okay." he started walking again and she followed, even though she just wanted to push him down and punch him senseless for his stupidity.

"It's important if it's got your panties in a bunch."

"No anti-bacterial jokes this time?" he snipped and she had to fight the urge to punch him again, even if he had a small smile on his face.

"It was getting a little old."

"Like your face?"

"And that's getting old too." she rolled her eyes while coming to a stop.

"Its stupid." he sighed laughing to himself.

"Why does this feel familiar?" she mumbled turning around and headed back towards home. He followed suite while Hammy pulled Sam along.

"You really don't want to know what's on my mind." he stole a glance and gave her a sly smirk. It slowly started to dawn on her as to what he meant.

"You can't be serious." her eyes grew wide slightly, if she were any other girl she'd blush.

"Isn't that an issue or is it something we don't even have to think about?"

Her mind was going a mile a minute as she stood there, feet coming to a halt. She never imagined that Fredward Benson would 1; throw her off her game and 2; proposition her, basically about something that was too cliché for words. Was her rally asking her what she thought he was? She was far from a prude, she could be blunt and straight to the point, but what he was suggesting was scary on so many levels. People just assumed she was the type to jump into 'it' like it was going out of style. Even Carly assumed that she'd gone and had her first kiss, because she seemed 'so willing'. It was the only thing she really had, her pride and her self-assurance. She knew if threw all her 'cookies' away so easily she'd just be like every other girl in the world, which she wasn't. It made her wonder why she was so willing to give up her first kiss to Freddie Benson, of all people.

Then again this wasn't the time to be allowing her thoughts to wander.

"What makes you think you'd be that lucky?" she glared at him, feeling suddenly annoyed by his implication.

"I wasn't…I mean…." he sputtered feeling like he completely messed up already.

"Why would you think that just because we're doing this whole 'not-prom' thing that we're going to do 'it'?" She had to grip onto the leash, not because Hammy was pulling slightly, her fist was just itching to punch him again.

"Why don't you just say what 'it' is, instead of saying 'it'?" he never took Sam for someone who'd have a problem using the proper terms. He also knew that he shouldn't have been worrying over something that wouldn't have happened at all. Sam wasn't his girlfriend she also wasn't the type of girl to jump into bed with random people, he knew this about her. For the most part he had a minimal understand of the way in which Sam worked, not a full completed guide, just a rough sketch. She wouldn't be able to trust anyone enough to get to that level of intimacy.

It must have taken her a lot of her to even admit it to the world that she hadn't had her first kiss either. Then again no one would dare mess with Sam about that, let alone tease her. Her coming to him and actually making it causal said a lot in his 'theory' about her. She had to on some scale, trust him enough to let her get that close, physically and emotionally.

What he just suggested was not what a friend would do the girl he was nuts over, would he?

"I just think 'sex' is a stupid jank word, alright?" it was clear that she was uncomfortable talking about the subject, which was weird to see from Sam. "Why are we even talking about this?" she started walking again and looking straight ahead. Hammy was quite happy to be moving again and sniffing the ground as though it were coated in meaty products.

He was more like his owner than anyone realized.

Freddie sighed and stuffed his hands into his jean pants. His hair was still tousled from waking up and hurrying out that morning.

"I'm sorry I made it sound like I was saying we have to have sex that night, or any night. I just don't think I'm ready for that, to be honest." he dared to glance over at her out of the corner of his eye. "I just didn't want…"

"…to make it weird if I ended up wanting to do it and you weren't ready?" she finished giving him a slight smirk.

"Something along those lines, I just don't want you to think that I…you know, expect you to want to…that was wrong of me to think." he put his hands up a little as if to signal a surrender, even though it wasn't needed.

It was silent for a moment as they turned the corner near Bushwell Plaza, its large clock arms hitting 8am. Sam hadn't spoken for about five or so minutes as he opened the door for her and Hammy to enter.

Lewbert was at his post, looking even more unpleasant than ever.

"HORMONAL TEENAGERS IN MY LOBBY!!!" he shrieked one eyes squinted as the other popped out at them. They ignored them as they started up the stairs. Sam refused to ride in the elevator with Freddie, after last time. He knew it was a bad move on his part to do that to her, but how was he to know that she was claustrophobic?

When they reached the eighth floor Sam headed for 8-C while Freddie leaned against the 8-D, covering up the label. Sam opened the door and let Hammy run back inside to get a drink of water. Once the door was closed she stepped away from it and leaned against the label to the Shay's apartment/loft and kept her eyes trained on Freddie's shirt. It seemed easier that way.

"You are the last person I'd ever actually accuse of taking advantage Benson, so don't get all twisted into knots. Yeah you and I might have something physical happening but it isn't at that point and like you said we just aren't ready for that." she took the chance to look up at his face and he looked sort of relieved. "I hate having to talk about this crap so can we just forget all that chiz and just have a good time on Saturday?" he gave a nod at this. "That was sort of the point of avoid the prom, all these annoying awkward moments and crap, right?" another nod. "Then you'll just throw out any thoughts of getting it on with me Benson, cause I don't see that happening." she felt her cheeks become warm at the mention of 'getting it on'. It was pretty ridiculous to get flustered over something like that. She knew she had it in her to be an animal, Freddie brought that out in her but it still bothered her to an extent.

She should have been used to it, what with the way her mother used to flaunt it constantly. That could also be the reason she got uncomfortable about the subject. Not many people brought it up in conversation with her so she never had to address it, until now.

"Thanks for the…pep-talk…" he smiled at her and she could only roll her eyes at this.

"Just go home." she pushed herself off the wall and prepared to open the door when his voice filled the hall, even though it was at a whisper.

"If I had to choose any girl for another first, it would be you." before she could turn around to snap out a flushed response, with large amounts of violence, his door closed.

She could have easily gone over and gave him a piece of her mind, but chose to let it go this time.

It was hard to remove the smile plastered to her face for the rest of the weekend.

* * *

Wednesday started out with rushed stuffing, dressing and hurrying to the car. The trio all had been up late the night before filming videos to post on the iCarly website. They managed to get a Random Debate done and started writing another 'Guess What I'm Giving You Clues About'. Since Carly usually worked behind the scenes she sat back and watched as Spencer tried to run the 'game' with her two best friends. Whenever they did these games together for their website it made her smile. They were so different when the camera was on and yet seemed to be amazing friends. They hardly fought during these little videos. She always left though when actual filming happened though. As much as she loved iCarly, she knew where her place was in the show and that was co-host. She was meant for live shows while her two friends and brother made sure to keep videos up on the site.

That's just how it was and it didn't seem to bother her in the least, it was nice to see when she went on the site and watched them, like every other fan.

Sam and Freddie seemed to have worked out whatever had been going on that past Friday. They still snipped at each other like always, but Carly could see 'love' underneath it all. All they needed to do was to get Sam to come out and be honest.

With all the information that Carly had gathered over the course of five/six months she wondered if it would be enough to find ways to get them together.

She started to realize though that in the end it was really up to them to be together, not hers.

As always Sam was the obstacle and Carly wasn't sure how to get her blond best friend to just admit it to herself or anyone that she loved Fredward Benson.

With a smile she sat down at the table next to David who was talking with Freddie about another epic battle soon with Spencer. Sam had heard the full story of it when she got off of work and couldn't believe that David was another 'nerd' as she put it. It wasn't easy to tell by just looking at him, but Sam had learned that it wasn't enough anymore to just analyze someone with your eyes.

She noticed something about the way her two friends functioned. It seemed they had an unwritten agreement that Freddie was supposed to supply her with food; he always made her a nice lunch. He'd buy a nice little bag of potato chips and a Peppy Cola but Sam would just steal them.

Sam snuck her hand across the table and snuggled her hand inside the bag, then produced a handful of chips. Freddie sighed and pushed it towards her. She grinned and gladly accepted the bag without complaint. He could only roll his eyes at this and take a sip of the can sitting in between them. They wordlessly grabbed at their favorite lunch items and went about business as usual. There was an occasional remark about inane things and then it was dropped and physical actions were put into place.

Sam would smack at Freddie's hand whenever he tried to sneak a chip from her side and he'd do the same when hers attempted to steal his apple.

It was a nice change, seeing them like this, it seemed lunch time was a special time for them to act like this way.

She really liked it, a lot.

David raised an eyebrow once he caught her eye. She could only smile in response as her eyes took in every little detail. One day they'd realize how special their connection really was….

"Will you just keep your hands to yourself?" groaned Freddie who was now frowning at a very cheeky Sam.

"That's not what you said last night." she laughed, when his face turned red. It seemed that Sam teased him relentlessly about the fact that in private they were just like every other 'couple'. She tried to stay away from their 'private' time as much as she could. It seemed to keep her from turning into a creepy stalker, like she felt.

"Ahh, Sam that's not cool!" he yelled/whimpered in Freddie fashion.

"That's what I said, last night." she grinned again and continued to eat like Freddie wasn't completely uncomfortable.

With a shake of her head Carly headed back to her own lunch, which was just sitting there begging to be consumed.

* * *

Friday seemed to breeze right past the gang and soon it was Saturday morning once again. Sam tiptoed out of her room with Hammy following along after her. He made sure to mimic her actions and lightly touched his paws to the floor. The whole loft/apartment was silent as she grabbed her truck keys and Hammy's bag. It was true; she packed a bag when they were leaving the house for a full day.

She'd informed Freddie the night before that she planned to escape early, so she didn't have to become part of Carly's madness. He offered her a place to hide for a day, which she would have accepted, if not for Mrs. Benson's 'freak out' over his tattoo.

He agreed to meet her later on that day so she made a note to see if Roger minded them hanging out at his place. He was hesitant at first because he didn't care for the idea of his daughter being alone with her 'not-boyfriend-friend' in his apartment, though he was probably going to be there most of the day. He soon after agreed and even offer to watch Hammy when they went to their 'anti-prom'.

The woman still blamed Sam because her son was a 'hooligan'. She didn't think he'd actually go through with it, but then he was known [recently] for surprising her. No, scratch that, he had other instances when he'd really surprise her. He knew how to keep her on her toes when it counted.

It bothered her most when these thoughts were surface; he wasn't supposed to be able to get this close. They were supposed to 'hate' each other, without the actual hate attached. She hardly even abused him anymore. It was true that she'd become soft for the dork and it was plain to see. But how could she have let it get this far? It wasn't supposed to be out in the open, where all could gaze at it with their stupid over-analyzing eyes.

It was supposed to be subtle with them, not everything had to be 'said' and yet she felt like maybe it should change. Maybe it was the time to be the 'bigger' person of the two and just get it out in the open. Avoidance didn't seem to be working for her, as she could at least admit to herself that she was falling—no—had been falling for him and couldn't seem to stop. There had to be a 'bottom' to the constant falling, there just had to be.

Hammy barked as they entered the hallway, between 8-D and 8-C, which caused her to jump slightly. She must have been standing there for sometime because her oh so wonderful dog kept pulling at the leash attached to his collar.

"Oh…right. Let's get going." she mumbled locking the door and heading down the hall, bag slung over her shoulder.

Once they were inside her old truck and secured Hammy demanded that she roll down his window by scratching at the door. After leaning over and rolling it down he was set and stuck his head partway out to prepare for his favorite part.

With a roll of her eyes she started up her beast and pulled out into traffic.

As she sat at a red light her mind began to wander again, thinking fondly of how things used to be. She thought about how she used to be, as a thirteen year old girl up to this point.

Maybe she had changed drastically over the years, she continued to think. It felt like it as the light turned green and she took off at the right speed limit. The markers stated that it was 45; she gave a nod, more to herself and made sure to keep it steady. At times she could be really reckless behind the wheel, but on days like this when the weather was perfect and the streets were booming so early in the morning, it didn't feel right to ruin it. Hammy barked happily then allowed his big tongue to hang out as his floppy ears lost themselves in the wind.

She'd never tell anyone but these moments with her dog were just so amazing to her. She didn't think she'd ever care for a pet or animal as much as she did for Hammy. He seemed to step into her life at the right time, like it was written in the stars that he was supposed to be there.

He belonged there, with her—and maybe Freddie—on his good days.

Turning off down a surface street, she passed by a few condominiums and apartments until a light tan colored one came into view. Pulling up to the gate she pressed the appropriate code, which was given to her by Roger in case of emergency, and drove in. His place wasn't big, partly because it was a studio apartment. He didn't really date at all and never kept a girlfriend long, so he's never needed a large place.

Pulling up by 4627 she parked into an unlabeled area and got Hammy.

Roger greeted them at the door and let them in.

"You made your grand escape?" He asked still in his pajamas, hair still out of place.

"Heck yes, Carly gets up early when she's got something 'important' to do. I wasn't about to get roped into her shenanigans." she stated letting Hammy off his leash and too off her sweater.

Roger wandered into the kitchen and started pouring coffee for them.

"Who says shenanigans anymore?" he commented handing over some coffee to her.

"I do, that's who." she grumbled but accepted the coffee and began to add sugar and a little bit of creamer. "Got a problem with that?" she shot him a 'don't question me' look from across the counter.

"What if I do, kid." he bobbed his head side to side as if to prove his point. It was actually really sad to witness and she could only roll her eyes.

"Don't ever do that again." she felt her eye twitch and her lip do the same.

"Right, well I'm going to go get dressed." he sighed and headed towards his room. "Be right back." he called and vanished.

* * *

Carly couldn't believe that Sam had actually left, who was she supposed to go to for 'girl advice' now? Spencer? Freddie? Well maybe, they might know a little more than Sam at this point. Then again Sam had started to at least appreciate some things that fell under the 'girl' category.

There was just so much to do before the big night. She had multiple appointments to get her hair, nails and makeup done. Not to mention waxing and plucking and anything else that had to be removed. Then there was the dress, which had been taken in a few places to better fit her figure. Yet she felt like she might not be fully prepared.

For a moment she paused and looked around her, noticing that it was silent all through the loft. Checking the time, she realized that it was eight in the morning and someone should have at least been moving around. Yet there was no sound at all, but her breathing and the slight crinkle of the material in her hand, the bag in which her prom dress lay inside.

She couldn't believe how fast time had gone by. The fond memories came to her then; when all they had to worry about was school work and iCarly webcasts. Now they were moving on from their childhood stage straight into adulthood. It seemed like it was just yesterday that Sam and Freddie were fighting over whose butt looked oddly shaped. Grinning to herself she realized that it had been yesterday that the pair had this exact argument. It ended in them exiting the room for a moment.

She already knew why they had to; she just chose not to think about it.

Their friendship seemed to have worked its way through some hard times. Each trial brought them all closer together, especially Sam and Freddie. There would always be a different world for the two, where they could just be a boy and girl and not have ties to reality. Maybe it was bad that they could only take on those roles when alone, where no one could corrupt it but at the same time it was strangely beautiful in its own way.

She had a feeling they would get to the point where it just came easy, showing their true feelings instead of having to 'pretend'.

With a heavy sigh, she closed her mental book of memories and headed off to start her busy day.

* * *

Freddie couldn't believe how fast the day had gone. He managed to make it over to Roger's around one that afternoon, more nervous then he'd ever admit to anyone. As nice as Roger was to him, he still felt like the man was watching his every move. He knew all about what he and Sam had going on and never once brought it up.

"Take it easy Fredwardio!" Sam whisper yelled over at Freddie, who was as stiff as a starch-filled shirt. Roger chuckled as he typed up something in the far end of the studio apartment, headphones in his ears.

He knew Freddie was a good guy and that his daughter was pretty lucky to have him, but he still wanted to protect her. It was almost silly for him to, when he knew that she could take care of herself. That fatherly part of him couldn't seem to shut off though.

It was clear that Freddie understood that he was to be on his best behavior, his daughter deserved some respect.

"How can I relax?"

"Just act like you always do, he's not going to cut you up and feed you to Hams." she rolled her eyes and turned up the volume a little. They decided to kill some time before they were to go grab something to eat with all the rest of the 'anti-prom' people. Gibby seemed to be the 'host' for this 'bash' and had it all set up with the help of his girlfriend and Wendy.

It was surprising how many people were going to be apart of their little group. Even Nevel of all people planned to attend.

Yes that's right, Nevel, who had actually grown up some more and given up on his plot to destroy Carly when he met a girl who could keep up with him.

It could have also been the reason why Carly wanted to go to the prom. She and Nevel still didn't seem to get along, even after a truce was produced between the two sites as well as the owners.

They argued constantly which was why Sam and Freddie hardly saw the once evil younger man. They decided though that they'd invite him, since he technically was still a little young for the prom, even though he had been moved up a grade or two.

His 'girlfriend' was against the idea though and told him he could just go alone. The pair seemed to bicker as much as Sam and Freddie did, but the kind of liked the girl. She kept him preoccupied and on a pretty tight leash most of the time.

Sam couldn't actually remember the last time they'd had a run-in with him or Lucille, his very loud, sometimes demanding girlfriend.

"I still can't believe that Nevel's going."

"Maybe he won't show up." Freddie shrugged, getting comfortable, watching the movie, though his mind wasn't taking in anything happening. There were loud crashing sounds and people flying about at one another, but he had no idea what it was about.

"I bet he will, just to be a nub." she quipped in laying her head on her own shoulder, too lazy to keep it upright.

"I thought we were all past name calling?" he turned his head slightly to give her a disappointed look. Sure he and Nevel didn't get along too well either but he could at least act somewhat civil to the kid. Even if Nevel had a hard time returning the sentiments. It just didn't seem important to hold onto a grudge when they could all agree that they were growing up. The constant revenge back and forth really couldn't continue, he was just glad that Nevel agreed.

"This is me we're talking about, when do I give up on something that I enjoy?" her smirk spoke volume but he chose to ignore it.

He paused for a moment as though he had a smart remark to make but then thought better of it. "I suppose you have a point." he sighed.

"So will you shut up now so we can watch the movie, gosh you are worse than an old woman." she scoffed and popped a piece of popcorn into her mouth.

About an hour later the movie credits rolled and Freddie realized that they had to leave soon to meet up with everyone for dinner.

"So where we eating for this shindizzle?" Sam asked rubbing her 'empty' tummy.

"You didn't just say that did you?" he gazed at her incredulously as he picked up stray kernels off of Roger's once clean couch. It seemed that Sam's random 'clean' stage was over. Over the past few weeks he'd gladly noticed the return of 'his' Sam. The Sam who didn't care if she picked up after herself or left a corndog under the couch for two weeks or forgot to clean her room. It might have seemed strange to feel joy over this but he really did. It was a sign that she was slowly coming back, even though she tried very hard to show that she hadn't gone anywhere.

"I did."

"Sometimes…."

"Yeah yeah, you wonder…stop wondering things and make me sandwich." she slumped into the couch lazily.

The smile on his face was getting harder to hide, for a moment he was just tempted to do as she asked and go make one, but knew he had to say no.

"We're going out to eat soon." he tried to reason, as though she were a child.

"Yeah but I'm hungry now." she fake pouted, knowing that somehow Freddie had a hard time resisting it. The boy was such a sucker at time, he didn't even realize it. Then again she was also a sucker, when it came to his little quirks that he didn't even realize he did. She probably would keep them to herself; otherwise he'd use them for evil.

He internally groaned at her whine but held strong and shook his head. Her frown told him how displeased she was at being disobeyed by this male sitting beside her.

"You can wait half an hour can't you?"

"No." came her blunt statement as she swirled her lazy head toward his. "I want food."

"You can wait Sam."

Giving up on the food front she got up and grabbed the bag she'd brought that morning. She figured that she'd have to change for the rest of the day's events and with Carly in 'prom' mode she wouldn't be going home until later.

Even thinking the word 'home' made her smile and she wasn't sure if she liked that fact or not.

* * *

Gibby's battle cry could be heard along the shore as he beat on his bare chest. The group laughed as their friend ran around lighting torches and doing 'ritualistic' type dances. No matter how much time has changed all the people in this group of misfits' one thing that was constant, Gibby would always be shirtless.

Granted, they were at the beach and it wasn't required you wear a shirt, but that wasn't the case mere hours ago. Once the time had come for Freddie and Sam to go, they said goodbye to Roger and Hammy and headed off to meet with everyone. They were really surprised by who had actually decided to show up.

They all agreed to meet at an Inside-Out Burger and just grab something to eat before they headed off to Gameworks to play a round of games. The plan way to have as much fun as possible before the night ended, which included a classic bonfire at the beach, roasting weenies and making s'mores, as much as Freddie disliked the treat.

Wendy had decided to ditch the prom and joined their group in their random fun. She'd come with Shane, who was still a little uncomfortable being around Sam. The red-head made sure to keep the poor guy away from Sam as best she could.

Sitting along the rows of driftwood were Jeremy a.k.a Germy, who was known for being constantly sick. It seemed that even as they were nearing the end of their high school years he still hadn't shaken his cold.

Beside him, looking disgusted by his sneezing fit was Shannon Mitchell. It didn't really make sense as to why she was there, until her eyes landed on Freddie who held his place beside Sam. Even with the years that had passed she still drooled over Freddie shamelessly, which was her reason for showing up there.

The blond couldn't help but shoot a glare at the annoyingly friendly girl, who was eyeing her dork. She said it, he was her dork and no one was allowed to eye him like a piece of BBQ ribs.

Pulling him away they came in contact with other various people who obviously didn't want to waste the time or money at the prom.

Someone had thought to bring a decent radio and was playing a random collection of music as Sam and Freddie worked their way through the little groups gathered about the fire.

Just as they broke through a small group of giggling girls from the AV club they came upon Nevel Papperman. He was seated on a blanket away from everyone sipping out of a glass he must have brought from home.

It was at least nice to know he'd given up his sweater vests and slacks for jeans and cotton blend t-shirts. It was strange to see him like that, without his uptight posture and perfectly set clothes.

"Papperman." Freddie acknowledged him standing beside the sixteen year old while Sam invaded his personal bubble, much like she did whenever they encountered one another. Nevel hated it when she'd do this which only made her do it more. Rolling his eyes, Freddie leaned against the railing beside his right shoulder and looked over at the fire with all his classmates gathered around having the time of their lives.

"Benson." Nevel stated tightly nodding towards him while leaning away from Sam who continued to pick at his clothes and poke him. With a frustrated groan he finally pushed her hands away, "Sam stop! Remove yourself from my person!" he demanded and she couldn't help but add an extra poke in before he stood up and got away from her.

"Why are you always such a priss?" Sam rolled her eyes and looked bored as the younger boy worked out the crinkles in his shirt.

"I didn't come here to be jostled and prodded by you." he shot the blond a glare but it didn't seem to phase her as she grew more interested by a song that had just come on.

After pulling at his clothes numerous times, Nevel gathered himself up and dared to sit back down. He made it a note to keep an eye on Sam who was grinning at him mischievously.

"How's Lucy?" Freddie asked shaking his head at his 'date'.

With a distraction set in place Nevel turned his attention to Freddie.

"Just fine, she and my mother have taken it upon themselves to gossip like two old women." he frowned. "It's disturbing how they get along at times. Warning Benson, don't let your girlfriend and mother ever spend time together." he cringed as he thought of the many instances where his mother and Lucille would sit around drinking tea and talking about 'their' future. Or his mother telling embarrassing stories that only made his girlfriend giggle.

"Stop complainin'; just be glad a girl even talks to ya you nub…" snipped Sam who was shaking her head at him. "I'm going to feast, be right back." she stood and started to walk away. "Try not to be too nerdy while I'm away." she laughed and joined the little grouping by the fire.

"How can you stand being near her for long periods of time?" Nevel asked with a look of disgust plastered on his face, liked he'd just smelled something foul.

"She's not so bad." Freddie shrugged, sitting down next to the younger male. He kept his eye on Sam though who was dancing with Gibby, his girlfriend and her making a Gibby sandwich. Of course her dancing was erratic and random so eventually she ended up just dancing away from anyone who didn't wish to lose an eye.

Freddie couldn't help but smile as she flung around her limbs in a frenzy of happy motions. There was never a method to it, rather she went with feeling. He sometimes hoped that she'd do the same when it came to them.

If he could only get her to admit the fact that she at least liked him as more than a friend, then he'd be set. As it was they were only going through the motions and he hoped that he could convince her tonight.

"She's vile." scoffed Nevel still dusting off his clothes as though Sam residue was still present on its cotton weaves.

"Really she's not, she just annoys you." he stated as he watched her dance over to Shane who was in charge of the s'mores and waited as he nervously assembled her at treat, while keeping his body away from her. Wendy rolled her eyes and pushed him away from his duties, allowing him to flee from the scene.

Even though it had been an accident he still couldn't shake it from his mind. He could no longer take the elevator or even look at one, even the ding of an elevator bell caused him to scream and faint.

"You love her." laughed Nevel giving Freddie a cheeky smirk, as if his plot had just worked in his favor.

"What, that is the most—I don't—you don't even—fine I do so what?" his argument was pointless he realized, it was hard to hide the fact that he did in fact 'love' Sam Puckett, with all her faults intact. It was no surprise to him that even Nevel could see it, not that he was trying to cover it up at all.

"You really can pick them." laughed Nevel, actually enjoying himself for the first time since he arrived. "First Carly Shay now Samantha Puckett, what is wrong with you? Do you like to suffer? If so you should have told me, I could have provided you with plenty of painful situations."

"Why does everyone keep asking me that?"

"It's clear you enjoy pure torture, otherwise you would have cut your ties to Sam a long time ago. It's also quite plain to see that you only go for girls who will never give you the time of day, hence Carly Shay. I do watch your little webshow and I see how Sam treats you, it's obvious you enjoy it."

"That was…insightful." Freddie frowned and looked like he was pouting.

"Any idiot with a pair of eyes and ears can see it." with that Nevel stood and wandered off to converse with someone from the AV Club.

"Huh." was all that Freddie could really say to that. Nevel might have been right but he was so sure about Sam. She had to love him the way that he loved her, he could just feel it.

She waved at him when she caught his eye; it wasn't too hard to do since he was staring at her the entire time. She held up a s'more as if asking if he wanted one and he shook his head. With a shrug she grabbed two more from Wendy and wandered back over to him.

"Where'd Mr. Nubs go to?" she asked while stuffing her face in an unladylike fashion. No matter how he felt about her it was just disgusting to watch her smear that gunk all over her face. He wasn't quite sure why he disliked the snack; he loved chocolate, marshmallows and even gram crackers, just not together. Some people thought he was a bit strange for that.

He didn't care at the moment. "Let's go dork." called Sam who was wondering off toward the shore, away from the party. He followed without complaint but wondered what she was up to. As they walked farther away he could barely see the bonfire or the people attending. The only light was the brightly formed moon wandering above them. It was almost romantic, if he dare allow himself to think so.

Sam continued to walk until they far enough out that no one could see them.

Once satisfied with the distance Sam plopped down in the sand and laid back. He stood there for a moment but then decided to follow suit and lay down next to her, putting his hands behind his head as a pillow.

"So what are we doing out here?" he mumbled staring up at the star-filled sky. She didn't bother to support her head so he could sort of make out her face, coated in the moon's rays.

It definitely was romantic in every conceivable way, especially the way the moon hit the contours of her face, even though she was still eating her snack.

"No reason; thought it'd be cool to just sit out here at night. Never done it before." she finished off the s'more and copied his movements and got comfortable.

"Strange." was all he could say.

"Yeah well when have I ever made sense?" she turned her head a bit to give him a bored look.

"Good point. So what are we going to do then, just lay here and watch the stars like some really cheesy movie?" he couldn't believe he just said that. She laughed though and he relaxed a bit.

"How about we try something we aren't used to, like talking?" she suggested as if it were the most normal thing to say.

"Seriously, who the hell are you?" he said a little too loudly.

"Benson you're an idiot." she sat up then and leaned her head on her knees and seemed to be watching the water rush to shore.

"That sounds more like you." his voice was closer this time as he joined her in a sitting position. "Alright fine, how about we play twenty questions?"

"Now we're apart of a really cheesy movie."

"Well you wanted to talk, why not make it more interesting."

With a roll of her eyes she turned her body towards his a little, so she could see his face. It looked amazing in the moonlight, not that she'd ever tell anyone or even him that, but it was true.

"You go first." she told him.

"Let's see." he thought for a moment and then a question came to him. "Why didn't you ever tell anyone about the fact that you're in Advanced Physics?"

She gasped, yes she actually gasped at this question as her eyes grew wide. It took her a few moments to gather herself, not really expecting him to ask her something like that.

"How did you-" she started but he cut her off.

"It's not your turn to ask questions Sam, you got to answer first." he informed her keeping his eyes on her.

"Because." was all she said and turned her eyes toward the water again. She couldn't believe he knew her secret.

"That's not a complete answer."

"You should get why I didn't tell anyone." she huffed not liking where this was going at all. This wasn't apart of her plan.

She thought that maybe they could have a 'semi-romantic' moment without it getting to weird.

"Yeah I do get why. Go ahead and ask your question."

Honestly she didn't know what she wanted to know about the dork. It always felt like she knew him so well as it was.

"Do you know how to speak any other languages?" she wasn't sure why she wanted to know this but it was the first thing to come to mind.

"Wow, of all the things you could ask…" he laughed. "Yeah I do, Spanish actually."

"Where'd you learn Spanish?" now she was interested.

"But Sam…it's not your turn-"

"Oh forget that stupid game, why'd we even start it anyways. Answer my question."

He gave her a frustrated look and decided to give up the game and just opt for answering her.

"Fine, my mom thought I should learn incase a Mexican Cartel kidnapped me and I needed to talk myself out of a death sentence." he told her bringing his hands over his legs, their hands lightly touching.

Even the light brush send a thrill through his body, he could tell that she must have felt it too. Her hand moved a little closer to his and subtly slipped the index and middle finger between his. This act alone caused his heart to leap over mountains. He dared not ruin it though and pretended it didn't happen as she was as well.

"She so would think something like that would happen. Then again with you it's hard to tell, you just might find yourself in a hostage negotiation."

"Probably." he agreed and moved his hand in more.

"Say something in Spanish." she suggested, curious as to how he'd sound.

"Why?"

"Curious." she shrugged. "Well go on, say something."

Freddie sat there for a moment and looked at her thoughtfully, thinking of something fitting to say to her in a language she didn't understand. He could tell her anything and she wouldn't pound his face in for saying it. Something came to mind then as she impatiently waited for him to open his mouth. He'd heard it in a song before and made him think about how he felt about her. With a cocky smile he boldly took her two hands in his and drew circles with his thumbs in her palms. He heard her breath hitch softly at this and didn't drop their attached hands.

"Sam, los dados lo señalaron desde el principio, apuesto a que hiciste estallar mi corazón y te quiero decir; Te amo como las estrellas en el cielo, Te amo hasta que muera…" it all rolled perfectly off his tongue. Sam was struck by how utterly and completely dare she think, _sexy_ it sounded falling from his lips. It sounded so natural and alluring, with his now husky undertones mixed in. Her mind couldn't seem to handle the image of Freddie on a white horse with the wind blowing through his long locks of hair as the sun set behind him as his think opened shirt brushed against his chest. It was just too much for her brain to take in, this image evolved with the ocean crashing against his bare feet as his whispered in Spanish, calling her name.

This was Freddie Benson she was thinking about in this way, when had she ever imagined a guy like this? The image of him like that made her just like every other girl who dreamed of a guy from one of those cheesy romance novels, that she's never once glanced through.

She wasn't turned on at all by anything from that fantasy, that's what she kept telling herself as she felt herself squeeze his fingers a little too tightly.

"Sam!!" he yelped pulling his fingers from her grip. "What's wrong with you?"

She broke from her fantasy and had to remind herself that no other female should _ever_ hear him talk like that. _Ever_.

"I don't like it, speak English." she informed him trying hard to put up a bored face, it seemed to work as she watched his frown set in.

"Fine, make fun of my Spanish…whatever." he looked away and couldn't believe what he just said to her. It didn't seem like saying it made a difference if she couldn't understand what he meant. Feeling slightly dejected he stood up and dusted his cargo shorts off.

Sam snapped out of her haze and got up as well, wondering what his deal was.

"Oh stop pouting Fredweird, geez, what's got you all worked up?" He looked down at her and frowned, hating himself for ruining their 'date'. Technically it was a date and here he was bringing the vibe down.

"Fine sorry, let's go back to the fire." he held out his hand to her and she didn't hesitate in taking it. This surprised him as he led her toward the group who hadn't even noticed that they vanished.

"It wasn't so bad." she mumbled as Gibby and his girlfriend dancing together came into view.

"Huh?" he asked turned towards her with wide eyes but received no answer as she darted toward Wendy to get more snacks.

* * *

By the time that they picked up Hammy it was one in the morning and he was fighting off sleep. Hammy attacked them both with love as they headed to Sam's truck; he decided he'd just get his car tomorrow. Sam curled up with Hammy and fell asleep as Hammy rested his head on her hand.

He wished he had brought a camera for this moment.

Once the truck was parked he woke her and managed to get her to walk to the elevator while he held onto Hammy with one hand and her with the other. She mumbled nonsense as he helped her to the apartment and opened the door with her key. Spencer was sprawled on the couch fast asleep, some show about spatulas playing on the television.

He knew that Carly wasn't home yet; she'd texted Sam before they engaged in a random dance with Gibby and Wendy. It turned out that she and David just might 'take it to the next level' as she'd told Sam via text.

His own mother wasn't even home, which had become sort of normal for him.

Hammy ran up the stairs while he and Sam took the elevator. When the doors opened Hammy stood there waiting, his tail waging happily, though it was clear he was also tired.

"Sam, you awake enough to change?"

"Mmhmm." she barely mumbled as he helped her to her room. He sat her down on her bed and grabbed her usual pajamas and handed them to her.

"Here, I'll go out there and wait until you're done." he informed her and stepped out.

Within a few moments Sam grumbled that she was done and he stepped back in. Sam was leaning on her right, face pressed against the comforter. Shaking his head he lifted her and carried her to 'her' side, as they had silently agreed on. She curled up against her pillow and seemed to have gone right to sleep.

He removed his over shirt and shoes and pulled back the blankets to crawl in. He lay there for a bit and just looked at her ceiling, listening to her soft breathing.

"You know…" she whispered sleepily into her pillow in the dark.

"Hm?" he whispered back looking over at her, only able to see a little of her face.

"Most boys would have taken advantage of the situation." she turned a bit and her bright blue eyes were all he could see. The light from the alleyway creating a small glow of swirling colors in the room, it was actually amazing, to him.

"I'm not like most guys I guess." he answered back and turned toward her so that their noses were just inches from one another.

"No, I guess not." she sounded almost disappointed, this surprised him a little. '_Did she want us to…no…she said that she didn't…'_ he thought to himself as she smiled in the dark.

"That's good." she yawned and gave a soft groan as she stretched her limbs a bit. "I would have beaten you senseless if you'd tried anything I didn't want to happen."

"Wait, what?" he was fully awake now staring her in the eyes. He could plainly see the sleepy smirk working its way on her lips. "What did you think would happen tonight?"

"I wasn't expecting you to act like such a _gentleman_ all night. I figured you would have at least made a move, any kind of move. But I guess that was wishful thinking on my part."

"You've got to be kidding me?" he laughed humorlessly.

"It's not my fault you chickened out."

"But you told me-" he started.

"You are the '_man_' in this…whatever it is and you didn't even think to just _act_ on instinct." she was about to say 'relationship' but caught herself before it came out.

"Like you said you would have _beaten me senseless_. If anyone is the _man _in this thing it would be you." he couldn't believe this whole conversation. "Besides you aren't ready for _that_ and I don't know if I am either." he tried to reason but he knew that he was just as scared about _making sandwiches_ as she was.

"Benson." she whispered.

"Why don't you try Freddie once and a while?"

"Freddie." she said in a way that surprised him. It was like the room had just heated up by one hundred degrees. He could feel her breath on his face and her breath smelled surprisingly like a medley of fruit, which was strange since she hadn't touched anything with fruit in it all day. It was very sweet smelling and tempting to taste. He could even feel his mouth begin to water at the thought of just kissing her lips.

Bringing up a hand he lightly brushed hair from her cheek and dips his lips down to meet hers. It was very soft at first, slow and sweet, nothing like the two involved in the kiss. It was a rarity when the two could be called sweet or even be attached to the word.

Her body moved towards his the moment their lips took them to the next level, their shallow breathes were the only things that could be heard in the silent air.

As their lips parted they grabbed at as much air as they could while rubbing their noses against one another lost in the moment.

"Are you sure about this?"

"No, but I…trust…you and you know, if it has to be anyone may as well be you."

"Wow Sam, that's really romantic." he stated sarcastically, even though he was still wrapped up in her.

"I try to keep it real." she laughed and attacked his lips once more, pushing him down onto his back while she lay above him, the blankets wrapped around their forms.

"Are you really sure you want this?" he asked again causing her to stop and lay her hands and the sides of his face.

"Damn it Fredweird what do you want a written contract? I'm not signing some paper to state that I want you to jump my bones, take the very obvious hint and do it." she ordered and before she realized it he was above her and trailing kisses down her neck, caressing the sides of her stomach.

"We go back to hating each other in the morning?" he asked between each brush of his lips.

"Maybe." she groaned knitting her fingers into his hair.

"That's good enough for me." he answered back and captured her lips with his.

**

* * *

**

**Panda Note:** HAHA!!!! Yeah that's right I left you hanging. Why? Because this girly doesn't write smut, sorry guys but I like to keep it semi-clean. I don't want this to go into dark dirty places, because they are both virgins and are obviously afraid. This isn't meant to be like an everyday thing, just that you know there comes a 'right' time for this and this seemed appropriate to go down. So before you review and tell me you want a full telling of what went down in the bedroom, it isn't going to happen. Trust me on this, I could write it but I choose not to, I'm not going to travel to 'M' territory. If this was too much for you then I'm also sorry but like I said it was appropriate to me.

If you've seen old movies they have a cut away scene before the two characters do anything, you know with the wind blowing through the window and the curtains blowing, that's what I was trying to do here, sort of.

Also I know that Nevel being in this chapter was a bit 'random' but I wanted him here, just to show how he might be now, a few years older. I figured since iFight Shelby Marx he's given up on trying to destroy iCarly, since now he's got three scary woman who could, two who could very well pound his face in. I also thought he deserved to have a girlfriend, one that could actually keep up with him. I almost had her show up in this chapter, but thought against it.

I'm rambling now, so let's get to the reviewers I couldn't reply to. Also if I didn't reply to you, send me a message with your questions or just to yell at me for being a creep, haha.

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Reviewers I can't reply to through PM:**

**angels.** – really??? Aww that makes me feel awesome dude, thanks for that! I like when people enjoy what I'm doing. I hope you enjoyed this chapter =)

**name** – Nice reviews make me happy =D thanks for that, I seriously love my dog and he's what inspires Mr. Hammy…

**Seddie101** – OMG YOU!! Where have you been? I feel like it's been ages! I think that's my fault since I'm taking forever to update. Thanks!!! I feel like a genius at times, but I realize that's just my brain being full of itself XD

**Me** – Dude!! Your review made me smile and kind of blush, I don't know why I blush when people give me compliments but I do and I did. Thank you so much! Seriously that just made my day and made me feel like writing even faster. I really hope you enjoyed this chapter as well, it took me forever to pump out.

Oh and if you have questions, comments or want some help with something, just send me a PM and I'll try to get back to you.

One more thing, if you are ever curious about when I'm going to update or want information about this story go to my profile where I try and keep updates…updated.

Okay you know what to do, click that button and send me an awesome review, they really do help me to get writing faster *hint hint* =D

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What Freddie Said:** Sam, the dice was loaded from the start, I bet that you exploded in my heart and I want to say; I love you like the stars above, I love you 'till I die...

What you need to know is that this isn't the exact translation, but what was trying to be conveyed, so if you speak Spanish and can read it just know that okay? Thanks again **Absolutely_m**.


	17. Graduation Day and More Family Truths

**Disclaimer:** So as you know I don't own anything, not even this plot really [cause you know other peeps have used it before so how original would it 'really' be ;D], just my views and opinions. I did decide to hand over Mrs. Benson to Luna; she said she'd like to have the woman in her home. Good luck dude!

**Panda Note:** Alright so I've had some mixed feelings about the last chapter and I just wanted to clear it all up. Yes Sam and Freddie 'played scrabble', 'made cheese sandwiches', 'caught the train', etc. But it wasn't meant to be morally wrong in any way. Look my personal views will probably influence how I write, which happens with a lot of writers. I assure you though I don't 'support' unsafe sex practices, especially when teens are involved. What you must realize though is that all three are now 'legally' adults and not everything is black and white, there are gray areas. You can't expect every single person in the world to follow a code of conduct; we all have different life experiences. While some of you might be younger and not quite know where you stand, just know that I didn't intend to 'corrupt' you at all. I honestly believe that if you love someone, even a friend it would still be 'right' if you wish to give them something as important as 'that' to them. With my own examples in my life I just feel like marriage isn't ideal anymore. I don't mean that you shouldn't want to or appreciate it but this is just my take on the characters and how they'd deal with things. Trust me I've read some pretty bad 'cookie makin' scenes and they come out of nowhere and are just not cool. So I'm not going to take it out and I'm not going to change it, but I can assure you that it was the only instance of their 'train catching' that you'll see in this fic I might bring it up a few times, but only as a topic of someone's interest or Freddie and Sam talking about it. We shall see. Wow that was a super long note, so get reading.

**P.S.** – A **special **awesome **thanks **to the ever enchanting **Absolutely_m [Miss Mara]** for another great translation! You are amazing dude and I'm so glad that you did this for me once again. I hope you enjoy this chapter!! I totally 3 you girly!

**Pimpin' Stories:**

iGo to Dingo World by **Fictions of Legends** - Seddie

iCarly's own MLP by **luna moody** - Seddie

Different by x**xjourney** – Spam

15 Going On 25 by **OmfgNewCeiling** – Seddie

iDo by **Harry Potter Fan 1994** – Seddie

There All Along by**Delanie Faye** – Seddie

iWon't Be Seventeen Forever by **LuDiamonds - **Seddie**  
**

The JournalDiaryBlog Thing of Sam Puckett by **AwkwardSquirrel - **Seddie**  
**

All stories written by: **Basco57** [go read!]

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**Chapter Sixteen**

The only sounds filling the small space was the softness of their breathing. The blond turned in her sleep, causing the comforter and top sheet to cascade down the slope of her back. It seemed really beautiful to him somehow.

He wasn't sure how long he'd been awake, or how long he'd been lying there beside her, staring up at the ceiling as she slept on. How could he possibly sleep after the night they'd had. It almost seemed like a dream, one that he'd rather not wake from. He'd heard of so many stories about 'the first time', but he didn't expect that.

Sam's soft mumbles in her sleep made him smile; he couldn't believe how much he loved this girl. He feared that his feelings would change if they took that step, but they still resided there in his heart. People often said they were 'in love' and didn't really know why. Maybe that's why it was so mythical? He felt like he understood where his love came from. It was seasoned over the course of their friendship and he'd never even noticed it before. Admitting it was the definite hard part. They'd played this game for so many years that it just became part of their routine.

He turned over and wrapped an arm around her waist, curling up against her. She mumbled something incoherent and turned towards him.

Sam wasn't the type to seek out physical contact consciously and he knew he'd be dead if they were awake.

Her breath tickled his neck as she pressed her face into his shoulder. The soft exposed skin crushed against his fingertips as he pulled her into him.

Nothing about this seemed sane or normal, yet it fit right to them. If he could hold onto her for one night he'd do so and be glad for it.

It was downright depressing to think that tomorrow they'd be back to their usual 'friendship' and he'd have only this one thing to treasure.

Though he knew that it wouldn't be the _same_ like before, yet it might be in a good way, he hoped.

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Wednesday Carly strolled into the studio after watching the webshow they'd done a few weeks ago with Cuttlefish. It was one of their most streamed videos. It was especially amazing to Carly who had the chance to sing with them, as Sam had requested knowing how much it would mean to her best friend.

She found Sam pressed deep into the blue bean bag chair off to the left of the car with Freddie's laptop on her lap. It was clear that she had a set of headphones inside her ears and was focusing rather hard on whatever she was watching.

Once she approached her best friend, the blonde's head shot up and seemed to have either stopped or paused what she was watching.

"Hey there Carls." she greeted closing the lid of the Laptop, which had changed in color over the years from black to blue to red with a white pear in the center.

"What are ya watchin'?" Carly took the seat across from Sam who looked uncomfortable with the question for a moment and then let it go.

"The Cuttlefish webisode." she shrugged, knowing that it was a pure lie. The paused image of her mother's happy face, rubbing her belly excitedly still burned into her mind. She still couldn't find a way to find out the truth about her unknown sibling and it was nagging at her mind. It made her wonder why not one person knew about her or spoke of her. She'd thought about her upbringing and couldn't seem to form a mental image of a pregnant Sarah Puckett. Mentally shaking the thoughts away she tried to focus on her best friend.

"I was too for the hundredth time and thought I should take a break." sighed the brunette whipping away nonexistent sweat from her brow.

"Can you believe that they were actually here and asked to come back on the show after their world tour? How cool was that?" Sam grinned with excitement and looked off in a dreamlike state.

"Too cool!" smiled Carly mirroring her friend's expression.

After a moment of enjoying the memory Carly was brought back to reality.

"We're graduating…isn't it…just…" she couldn't form the words to explain how amazed she was by it.

"I can't wait til its over." Sam cut in, laying the laptop on the empty bean bag chair beside her. She'd been looking at that same video of her mother over and over for an hour and still it said nothing to her. If she tried again she was sure she'd crack.

Carly simply rolled her eyes at her dear friend and leaned her head back to admire the ceiling.

"So you never did tell me what happened on 'anti-prom' night." the brunette commented; giving the blond a cocky smile.

"I thought we agreed to keep it to ourselves?"

"But I've told you what happened with David, why won't you tell me?"

"There's not much to tell, since nothing happened."

Sam knew that Freddie had agreed that they'd keep what happened that night to themselves like their first kiss. She knew though that eventually it would leak out and Carly would know one day. That day didn't have to be that exact Wednesday.

Since it was a one time thing with Freddie, she'd try to treasure it like it was meant to be. That was the whole point of _playing scrabble_ that night, even if he didn't realize her reasons she knew why.

The sad attempts at ignoring the love growing for her dork were harder to ignore now. She didn't know much about love to be honest. The relationships she did attain might have been built on unconditional love, like ones family. Loving someone in a romantic sense wasn't her usual style.

"Alright, well I thought I'd come up here and see what you were up to. David wanted to know if you'd like to join us on a smoothie run."

"Oh, no I'm going to watch this video one more time and then go bug Dorkinstein." she grinned, loving his new nickname.

"I'll see you in an hour then? Maybe we could do something, like watch a movie or go hug hobos?"

"Sure kid."

Carly laughed and disappeared down the elevator, leaving Sam once again alone with

It seemed that even when she ignores all thoughts of Freddie, they still seemed to surface. Love then followed; it was connected to him no matter how hard she wished it didn't. By some sort of cruel fate he was supposed to be her _one. _With her plans to _let him go _being completely ruined she wondered how she'd let him go now. She knew that even if they were to get involved he'd be off in California while she resided in Massachusetts. What sort of relationship would that even be? Sure he'd call as much as he could, he'd even come to visit her on his breaks, but then they'd end. His calls would become more scarce and his visits nonexistent. Soon she'd learn that there's a girl he's interested in and he wouldn't find the time or decency to call her and let her know this.

Maybe she was thinking to deeply into that particular scenario but that's how it almost always happened. In rare occasions a _long distance _relationship had survived, but in their case she couldn't see him staying loyal to her for long.

Not that she had any real proof but it had more to do with her own self doubt and whether she could keep him interested for that long.

What did she even want to happen anyway?

With her past relationships she couldn't seem to be 'herself' with other guys. With Jonah she turned into someone she didn't recognize—once it was love—that is. She then took interest in Shane—who liked Carly more—not that she really _liked_ him so much as she was attracted. With Pete it might have been the same thing, attraction. It was natural for girls her age to want to be liked by a nice, handsome young guy. She was even willing to give up who she was in that pursuit, which had ended, mostly because of her. After two weeks of being together as a _couple_ things weren't how she'd hoped. He didn't get her jokes and then there was the fact that she'd tried to act more like herself. It didn't go over well with him and he bailed.

When it came to Freddie it just felt natural, like eating ham. It was almost too good to be true that a guy could take her beatings and come back and love her like he did. Maybe her beatings had caused permanent brain damage and he was stuck on a reel which repeatedly told him he was in love with her.

Whatever the reason she knew that there was a girl out there who really deserved him; it wasn't her, even if she wished it to be so.

Glancing over at the laptop discarded on the ground; she lifted it and placed it back onto her lap. Breathing in a deep breath she flipped open the screen and clicked play once more.

She continuously pressed a particular part over and over, just to prove to herself that it was real.

"What are you guys doin' over there?" Roger asked and her mother would then stick her tongue at him.

"We're waiting for that nugget to get back with Sammy's gift." Sarah told Roger with a smirk on her face, like Sam had seen many times after watching it a hundred times.

"So snippy, are pregnant woman always like this?" Roger asked Marissa who looked amused, Sam noticed. Sarah didn't find it at all humorous and narrowed her eyes at him.

Sam clicked out of it and decided it might be time to talk with her father about this. She couldn't keep avoiding it, not with her growing curiosity building up each day.

She wasn't ready though and she knew that she'd have to really think about what would be said. Maybe after the craziness of graduation passed then she'd have the courage to deal with another part of her life. Now wasn't the time though and with that in mind she left the loft in search of her dork.

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**

The bleachers were filled with family members as well as other younger students. Sam couldn't believe they'd made it this far.

Graduation Day.

The partly cloudy Friday afternoon set a nice bit of shade to the people who gathered that day. It had just been about a week ago that she'd gone to a shindig with Fredward Benson and a group of their friends. It felt like it happened ages ago when she thought about it. This let her to many other thoughts that she'd rather avoid.

If someone had told her so many years before that she'd be sitting in that dark gray chair outside with her peers, she would have scoffed and rolled her eyes. Maybe somewhere inside her younger self would have taken notice to her depleting GPA or the piles of unfinished homework and cared to try. Now that she found herself draped in robes and had the cap upon her head it all felt like a dream.

She caught Freddie's eye from a few rows ahead, where he sat in the front of the alphabet with the A's and C's. He gave a nervous smile and she could only give him a raised eyebrow in reply. Sure she was a little nervous but it was expected.

Her dad was there to see her graduate high school; she didn't know why that caused a stir in her stomach. He was seated next to her J'Mam-maw who seemed to have started up a conversation with Mrs. Benson. The woman kept shooting looks at Roger who rolled his eyes at her each time. It seemed that they still weren't on friendly terms, to her.

Spencer talked with Roger, who was also seated next to him, poor guy. Roger laughed though at whatever they were talking about and then it grew silent as Principal Franklin approached the podium in a set of his own robes. He looked like a proud parent at that moment, like all his kids were going off and leaving home. She'd always really liked Ted, even when he'd give her detentions, she deserved them of course.

Glancing over at the family section she looked for Roger who had his eye on her the entire time. The smile on his face told her how proud he was of her and she felt her eyes start to water a bit as a number of thoughts flew through her mind. Memories that didn't really exist but she wished that did. Like coming home after her first day of high school and wanting to see him and hear his voice laughing and cheering her up. Have him give her advice when things were looking down and scold her when she did something wrong.

That never happened though and the images of those times shifted in her mind to the memories that did exist. The first time their eyes met and she knew right then that he was her father. She wanted nothing to do with him then and wished that he'd never come back.

But then it started to change a bit when he agreed to go with her and Freddie to the beach with her mother's ashes. She'd started to see the man who was once her father. The pain he must have felt while watching Sarah vanish into the waters must have been excruciating, something she hoped she'd never know.

Then they started to spend time together and get to know one another. She found that they had so much in common that it would be hard to deny her parentage. The man oozed Puckett as she did and it would be hard to miss how right it felt to be in each others lives again.

But she'd never openly tell anyone this, no because then that would be admitting she actually cares.

The fondest memories she had of him were in his recording studio just talking and laughing or picking at one another. It almost felt unreal looking at him at times because she'd dream of him coming back one day just for her. It took him a decade to do so yet she knew that sometime down the road she'd fully forgive him. There was not enough real hate buried up inside her to carry on like she had.

It dawned on her more recently than in the beginning that he really meant it, he was staying. She finally got what she wanted, only to be leaving and moving to Boston within a few weeks. What sort of relationship would they have once that happened?

Shaking the negative thoughts from her mind she glanced up at the stage and caught Carly's attention just before she took her place right where the principal had been just moments before. She missed his entire speak and wasn't sure if it was at all significant but it seemed to have moved everyone around her.

Carly looked nervous and scared as she scanned the heads of the student body. She was never great at speaking in front of large groups like this, with the show she never had to look directly at their fans. All Sam could really do was nod and give her an encouraging smile.

This seemed to relax the brunette as she cleared her throat far too many times and ruffled her papers before her. Something about her composure changed as she looked at her two best friends.

With all the bravery she had, Carly gave her speech. It wasn't something Sam could follow for long, even though she loved her buddy. She spoke of how this wasn't the end, it was the new chapter in their lives when they could really go out into the world and find out who they were.

Carly had been a mess Thursday when she found out that she'd be giving the speech, how that happened she wasn't sure.

When it ended the principal returned to his post and started calling off names from his list. When she heard _Benson_ her head shot up and he caught her eye. Freddie's lips quirked up into a soft smile as he gave her a glance. He then clumsily worked his way up the steps to the podium where Ted Franklin held out his diploma. Ted looked particularly proud of Freddie as they shook hands firmly.

With his hand around the rolled up parchment he headed down the back way and stood with the others who'd already received theirs. The list continued on Sam wondered if she'd tried hard enough to be worth a diploma, deserved one.

When her name was called she looked over at her family—the related and unrelated—and smiled a bit. Her eyes then fell on her dork, he looked proud of her—yes—proud and for once she actually wanted to rush over to him. She restrained that desire and continued up the stairs, it was almost like the whole scene was in slow motion.

Carly was giving her a thumbs up from her own seat, which she'd returned to after her speech.

Ted Franklin smiled down at her as she reached him. The diploma clasped in his hand made her a little nervous. He held it out to her to take which she did hesitantly and then he held out his other hand to shake hers.

She wasn't sure what had come over her then as she looked at his hand in confusion. It just didn't seem right to shake his hand like a normal student would. Not after all they'd been through together.

The long pause had faltered his outstretched hand and she did what she felt was appropriate, even in front of her fellow students.

She wrapped her arms around his waist and squeezed it tightly, allowing her face to get lost in the waves of his robes. He stood there for a moment baffled by her actions then reciprocated and hugged her back. It was quick and they pulled away smiling at each other.

If she could find the words to say to him she would have but it seemed like he understood. Her unspoken thanks had seemed to shock the students present but honestly it didn't bother her at all as she did a random dance off the stage. It was a classic Sam move to make as she left off the side steps and danced all the way back to her seat.

After the last person received their diploma Principal Franklin looked out among the standing students and looked wistful for a moment as he took in each face before him. A few students stood out to him, the ones he really connected with. He gave a nod to each and then placed his hands on the side of the podium.

With a wave of his hands he congratulated the class of 2012 on their advancement into the real world.

This was followed by the always traditional and sometimes cliché tossing of their caps into the air. As the sky rained the red caps Sam found herself rushing for Freddie as everyone hugged and cheered around them.

He stood somewhere close to the center of the hug fest talking with one of his AV buddies and shaking hands.

Without warning she tackled him and kissed him forcefully on the lips. Though he was taken by surprise he returned the kiss with just as much passion as she had. He wasn't about to question her about why she'd decided to do this in front of their entire graduating year. She pulled away and continued to hug him as everyone around them seemed to move slowly, it felt like they were really alone and in a cliché teen movie.

It ended though as Carly and Gibby came over to celebrate the success of their completion of high school. They'd all stuck together through the good times and bad and came out of it stronger than they'd ever expected. Gibby and Freddie shared a brotherly hug and did some sort of nerd handshake that had Sam and Carly looking at them strangely.

Just as they assumed it was over David Shay came over and joined in on their nerd fest. The two girls then came to the conclusion that this was some sort of Galaxy Wars victory handshake.

The blond and brunette looked at one another and shook their heads in disappointment.

Carly had come to the conclusion that she could deal with David's love of Galaxy Wars just as he dealt with her oddities. With a roll of her eyes she grabbed her boyfriend and hugged him.

"We are so celebrating tonight guys!" danced Gibby, who had somehow managed to get out of his robe, overcoat, and tie and button up shirt in a matter of seconds.

"Yes!" the others cheered.

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A day after graduation Sam found herself standing outside of Roger's apartment door, waiting patiently for him to open the door. Her foot couldn't stay still as it tapped erratically against the off white carpets in the hallway. Even with all the thought she'd put into what she'd say before she showed up, it still made her nervous. There were so many possibilities, outcomes and reactions that could come from this conversation. She'd finally made something out of their relationship and ruining it wasn't part of her plan. Whenever she attempted to envision a life where Roger wasn't there, it felt sort of empty. He'd somehow squished himself into a crevice in her little life.

At first she hadn't wanted anything to do with him. As far as she was concerned he was just a stranger who had a hand in her creation. Sure she held the little bits of memories she had of him when she was little, but they were faded and torn at the edges. She could barely see the images anymore; they seemed to have been replaced somehow with new more fond ones.

The dark blue door stayed stationary for three minutes while she heard rapid movements inside. It was apparent that he must have been asleep; it was after all his day off.

It suddenly swung opened to reveal a messy-haired Roger who looked like he quite literally fell out of his bed. It wouldn't have surprised her one bit if that were the turn of events that had transpired moments before.

"Oh it's you." he sighed and moved out of the doorway to let her in. She rolled her eyes and went to take a seat at the kitchen counter. "What do I owe the pleasure of your visit this morning?" he asked getting a large mug of coffee.

"I came to talk to you about a little somethin', somethin'" she half shrugged and leaned against her fists. Her first plan was to just blurt it out like a nutcase, the second one was to sting it out until she couldn't avoid it anymore and lastly she planned to just talk with him normally.

"This early in the morning?" he pouted into his mug.

"It's eleven…" she blotched. Sometimes it was a little scary how alike they were and yet she felt that she couldn't be _that_ bad.

"Yeah yeah, what did you want to talk to me about?" he seemed bored by the whole thing as well as tired.

He took a seat across from her and attempted to stay awake, he could tell that she was out of her element when it came to situations like this. It was also obvious that it was something she needed to talk with him about; only him.

"I'm not sure how to go about this because it's a sensitive subject and you might not want to talk about it."

He thought about it for a moment and wondered if he should let her continue with whatever she'd dug up and wanted to discuss with him. There were far too many things that he'd kept to himself for all these years and he'd hoped that they'd be buried with Sarah and Nathan.

With an internal sigh he allowed the words to slip out of his mouth.

"Just lay it on me kid." it was far too early for him to jump through hoops to understand her ramblings, even though he should have been more alert.

"Fine." she growled and took in a deep breath, lifting up her head to look him in the eyes. "Why didn't you or Sarah tell me I had a brother or sister?" she found that her voice was low and quivering as the last bit came out. She hadn't realized how difficult it was going to be to say it out-loud to him like that. If this had been a few years back she wouldn't have felt the need to watch where she crossed the line. A few years ago it wouldn't have mattered to her one bit. This wasn't five plus years ago and she wasn't a child anymore. The problem with this was that she now felt obligated to show a little respect to the man she now could call 'father' rather than Roger.

She could practically feel the tension working its way through the small studio condo/apartment.

He was silent for a moment, his mug long forgotten as he stared across the counter at her with wide eyes. It was clear to her that she _knew_ more than he wished her to. She could see that she'd hit the nail on the head, just by the way his lower lip quivered and his eyes were twitching. His facial expression quickly changed from shock to displeasure, even a slight hint of anger underneath, which he seemed to be pressing down, away from her.

Roger's frown was a clear indication that this subject wasn't what he expected when he opened his door to her that morning.

Just twenty-four hours before they had all gathered at her school and watched the teens graduate. It had been a great day, peaceful even and now this subject presented itself before him.

Something in his snapped then and he couldn't quite figure out why the next words fell from his mouth.

"That's none of your business." it was cold and unfeeling in every way possible. She wasn't sure if he meant for it to slip out like that but for a second she actually flinched, though it was more inside then out.

"It's my business! What did you guys do, give them away?" she snapped, getting annoyed by the now stoic man across from her. With more anger built up around her then she realized she found herself glaring at him in defiance.

"Get out of here Samantha!" he now yelled gripping onto the mug before him.

"No! I want answers!" She yelled back, now standing.

Their blue eyes met, one pair burning dark coals the other dimmed out by the slow brush fire.

"That's just too damn bad, now leave." he muttered in a voice that suggested he was holding in most of his anger, though it was still visible to her.

A weird twisting sensation lit up inside of Sam's chest as she took in Roger's change in mood. She wasn't normally one to get scared or worried or even really care if she upset someone but this was different. It was a rare occasion when she'd actually feel guilt for doing or saying something; this was going on the list.

As much as she wanted to fight him to know about her sibling she could tell it was something he wasn't ready for.

With a heavy heart and unanswered questions she stormed out of the apartment leaving a very angry Roger behind.

* * *

Kicking the rock didn't seem to make her feel any better about what had happened with Roger. She'd driven around for two hours trying to calm down and nothing seemed to work. At times like this she wished she had some bad habit that she could use as a crutch. Too bad she didn't smoke or drink; they seemed like a great idea at that moment.

It wasn't something she would actually do and she knew this so she opted for food, which seemed like 'comfort' to her. Maybe she did have a crutch after all.

With her meal completely gone from its foam container, she discarded it into the nearest garbage can. Looking around her she tried to breathe in some fresh air as the clouds rolled on by overhead.

It might have been a strange thought to have at that moment but Sarah felt near. Closing her eyes she allowed herself a delicate smile to spread across her face. Tilting her head up to the sky she could feel the rain start to fall down upon her.

Sometimes she wondered if her loved ones who were no longer with her cried from wherever they were, causing the downpour. It was something she liked to think happened whenever it rained, making it feel like they were with her even when they couldn't be.

No one would ever know this fact though; it would stay locked away with everything else secretive about her.

She hadn't given Sarah much thought after she died and it wasn't because of any grudge. It had more to do with trying to 'move on', but that didn't stop her from dreaming about the woman occasionally. Sometimes she'd wake up and think she was back at her old home and Sarah would be passed out on the couch after just getting home from a random job.

Even her perfume would waft into her senses as she woke from the dream. A little smile would appear and her heart would fill up with warmth only to have it shatter into millions of sharp pieces.

The realization would set in and she'd find herself tearing up over it. It only happened a few times after Sarah's death and slowly happened less frequently.

Most of the dreams were like that, where she'd be getting ready for school and Sarah would crack an eye opened to say good-bye to her. Or others would be of Sarah being a 'normal' mother to her, like she was when she was a little girl.

Standing there smiling like a nut probably wasn't the smarted thing for her to do so she headed back to her truck, parked at a curb near the place she'd picked up food.

Once inside her truck she started up her monster and turned on the heat. It didn't seem to help the shivers that had begun to take over her body.

The clock read two 'o clock, she'd left Roger's mere hours ago and hadn't gone home or anywhere she'd be found. Not that anyone was going to be looking for her, no one knew of the fight she'd had with him.

She still felt a chill even when she parked her blue pickup truck into her usual spot at the Bushwell parking garage. Stepping out she slammed the door and looked a few cars down to see that Freddie's was still there, like had been all morning. Not that she cared what he was up to—okay she did a little bit—not that he'd need to know that.

With wet feet she sluggishly made her way up to the loft to bury herself in her bed for a few days, weeks, she didn't care how long. She couldn't remember ever feeling so low, so kicked down, not even when Sarah died. At least then she had a feeling that it might happen but that didn't take away the sting of it being real.

With Roger she'd touched on something he was still hurting over and part of her had a feeling he would be. They'd bonded over the course of five months; at least that's how long she assumed they'd had a relationship.

Of course she had been reluctant to open her heart wide enough to have him crush it again. But he proved to be trustworthy for the most part. He willingly moved himself from his home in Vancouver to be closer to her, that was just the beginning though. He never pushed her into anything and always went at her pace. But she was the one this time to step over the invisible line that had been drawn up.

She was never one to actually respect lines are boundaries so this was a new one for her. With the short list of people in her life that she actually cared about it made it worth obeying at times.

Reaching the door to 8-C she unlocked the door and pushed it opened. Hammy jumped her the moment she stepped in, sensing her down the hall; he'd been sitting there the whole time.

The next thing she noticed was Roger sitting on the couch with Freddie who looked uncomfortable and Spencer who was leaning against the counter in the kitchen.

Without even thinking she closed the door and stood there with Hammy staring up at her, happy she returned. At times it seemed that he believed that she vanished for years only to really be gone for a few hours. The excitement he showed toward her made her feel like she had a place in the world worth coming back to. Not that she thought about running off or offing herself or anything, but it validated her in some sense.

She bent down and scratched the top of his head, which only sent him into more spas-tastic joy. It temporarily distracted her from the problem at hand, which was the three males in her life, joined together, all looking at her with different expressions.

The first one she caught was Freddie's, who looked concerned for her; it was his classic pouty lip-eyebrows-knitted-together-look. Spencer's was much like it usually was, semi-concerned with a hint of hyper-annoyance. But at that moment he seemed to have his 'big-brother gloves' on, she could tell that he was ready to spring into action if need be.

Roger looked like he'd been put through hell as he sat there looking at her. It almost made her want to hug him, it wasn't something she would do though and she restrained herself. He'd probably keel over if she ever did something to warrant that she cared.

"What are you doing here _Roger_?" over the course of two months she's tried out the phrase 'dad' a few times and kind of like the way it sounded, she only used it a few times. Calling him Roger made her mouth feel weird, but she was still upset with him.

"I came to talk to you." he said evenly rubbing his hands together. "I shouldn't have snapped at you and I'm sorry for that. You just caught me off guard."

"She does that to the best of us." chimed in Freddie who seemed to know what the conversation was about without being told. He knew about her sibling, being that he'd watched the videos with her. Roger gave Freddie a small smile before turning his eyes back to the other blonde in the room.

"So…what now?" she found herself asking while still shivering. He must have noticed this and frowned.

"Maybe you should go change into something dry and then we can go on a little trip." he sighed on the last part. He hadn't been there in a long while; it was just too hard to even think about at times.

"Alright." was all she could say before she disappeared up the stairs.

Spencer looked over at the two guys sitting on the couch and couldn't help but smile a bit. Sam was pretty lucky to have the two dedicated to her, like it should be.

He knew where he stood when it came to Sam, she'd always be that little girl who stole all the food from his fridge and crashed on his couch. Not only that but she was much like a little sister to him as well and he always felt the need to protect her. Maybe it was foolish on his part, Sam was a touch little cookie who could so easily take on trucks or police officers on her own, with only a pocket watch.

Spencer shook his head and turned his head towards Sam, who had started down the stairs after changing.

He gave her a nod and a smile and she did the same, it was their way of communicating at times. His was more of a 'Are you alright?', her answer was evident.

Freddie and Sam shared a moment before she left. It wasn't earth shattering but it was something special, Spencer could tell. Freddie was standing by the door when they were prepared to exit and he grasped her hand in his. She seemed surprised but squeezed it before walking out the door. In that single moment it felt as though Freddie had conveyed that he was always going to be there for her, no matter what.

This brought on a new thought to Spencer's already fantastical mind; Freddie had learned something about women after all. He knew what he had to do and what to say, which let the older gentleman to feel something he knew would come about someday.

Pride.

'_Way to go Freddo_,' Spencer thought to himself, _'the student has become the teacher.' _ he nodded to no one in particular, maybe Mr. Robot in the corner. The point was that he was proud of the young man.

* * *

The damp grass met the rubber on the bottoms of her shoes as Sam worked her way through the many graves. She couldn't remember if she'd ever been to a graveyard before or not. Her mind was leaning more towards no. Coming upon the one in which Roger had pointed to about seven minutes into their walk, she paused.

Her hand reached out to touch the deep gray granite stone, tracing over the engraved letters 'Melanie Anne Puckett'.

_Melanie…_

It was so surreal, just being there in that moment. This wasn't what she was expecting when she found out she had a sibling. She half expected that they'd shipped her off somewhere and never bothered to tell her. It even crossed her mind that they split and she/he was off with another family. There were infinite possibilities to the whereabouts of the sibling now known as Melanie; her sister.

A sister…

She had a whole sister whom she couldn't even remember clearly. Maybe it was supposed to be that way.

Kneeling down she read the inscription below the name.

"She was only four months old…." she swallowed the lump in her throat as Roger joined her.

"When she was born you were still pretty young and after a while you forgot you had a sister."

He looked down at her with the saddest pair of blue eyes she'd ever seen. Even that one sentence from him had her wanting to hug him again, but she held strong and kept her arms down to her sides.

"What happened to her?" her voice was quiet, unrecognizable to her own ears. It was as though someone had taken over her body and going through the moments. It felt as though she were standing outside of her own body watching this happen, like it wasn't even her anymore.

Roger sat down on the grass and placed the flowers he'd picked up on their way on the little platform. He'd told himself that he'd had to do this sometime that was the reason for this trip.

"The day she was born you were with Nathan and Marissa on some sort of play date with Freddie. I was spending the day with your mom when her water broke. When we brought her home she was fine, we couldn't understand…" he trailed off, his voice growing strained. She chanced a glance over at him and found that his hands were clutching onto the fabric of his pants.

She did the only thing she could think of and grasped his hand, much like Freddie had done. If Roger had been at all surprised by her action, he didn't show it.

"One night…" he started up again after get control over the rough waves of emotion that had taken over. "I think you were staying with your grandma…" he gripped her hand a little tighter as his eyes trailed over Melanie's name on the gravestone. "…we went into our bedroom to check on her…and…she…she…wasn't…"

Sam hadn't even realized that she'd begun to cry, she never cried like this. There wasn't a sound to be heard but she could feel the tears trailing down her face, or maybe it was the rain, she couldn't tell. Had it started drizzling again?

"We found out that this happens to some infants, there aren't really any definite answers as to why though."

"What was it?"

"SIDS…"

"What's that?"

"Sudden Infant Death Syndrome, even years later they haven't figured out why this happens."

It didn't seem fair in her eyes that this baby didn't get the chance to live, grow up, go to school, ride a bike, taste ham for the first time, dance, sing, get into trouble, nothing…

Something dawned on her then, like being shown a road map when she'd get lost in a new place.

Had she been selfish this entire time, with her own life? Some part of her wondered if maybe they took the wrong daughter, whoever 'they' were.

Sarah's voice seemed to pop into her mind at that moment, telling her that she shouldn't think like that. Maybe it was her mother's 'Jewish' side coming out or maybe being gone from earth gave her a better perspective. It could also just be apart of her imagination, wishing for answers to why Melanie didn't get a chance.

Despite what she had learned she couldn't help but smile sadly down at the gravestone as she and Roger allowed each other to cry once more for their fallen loved ones.

_Sarah….._

_Melanie…._

_Nathan…._

* * *

When Sam got home that night it was pretty late, for her anyways. Roger had insisted on going to get some pancakes, which had become his comfort food somehow. She couldn't refuse free food, besides they'd gone in his car.

No one was around when she stepped in, but the lights were on. Shrugging it off, she headed up the stairs and into the studio. The lights were surprisingly off.

She briefly wondered who had Hammy, but knew that Freddie wouldn't let anything happen to him. Brushing it off; she sluggishly removed her shoes and tossed them to the side near the elevator and headed for her room.

It was an easy guess who was there waiting for her, the lights were on.

Freddie smiled at her as he stroked the ears of her dog, until Hammy who practically jumped from the bed to the entrance to her room. The male who occupied the side he usually slept on didn't bother to move from his comfortable position.

She wished she could stand there for a moment to just drink in his warm eyes staring at her in a way that shouldn't be aloud. His love burned through her skin, she could feel it digging deep into the bone.

It sounded kind of gross when she thought about it.

Not the love part, just the acidic burning flesh and bone.

Once Hammy had finished his expressions of love toward her and her return to him, she flopped onto the bed beside him.

"How'd it go?" he asked lulling his head to the side toward hers.

"Oh…you know…" she shrugged. "She died…" her heart couldn't take anymore of it to be honest. But she chose not to say that out loud.

His hand found hers and he brought it to his chest. It was almost natural now for him to do little things like hold her hand and still say so much to her.

The plan that she'd devised months ago seemed sort of childish and pointless when she thought on it. She couldn't give this guy up, he was meant for her, and it was blatantly obvious to her and even to the mailman who they didn't even know. If Sal, the mailman could see it then it must be true, he has no reason to lie about it.

How to go about fixing the damage she'd already done was going to be a lot harder. He already had it in his head that she just wanted to stay friends, even though they were pretty much a 'couple'. She knew this and so did everyone else, it has been established. But he would continue to think that her heart remained out of reach until she could allow him to have it. That was the difficult part, handing it over.

If this had been five years ago she wouldn't have believed she'd ever love Fredward Benson. Even after their first kiss she just assumed they'd fall back into normalcy. It worked for a while but then something changed.

Carly decided that she wanted to give him a chance.

The date was awkward, as told by both parties and all feelings were lost on his end.

They always seemed to function better as friends, he realized and Carly was glad for that.

"I got something for you." he finally said after a few moments.

"Ham?"

Hammy's head popped up from the floor and looked at them as if they'd called him.

"No…" he rolled his eyes and sat up a bit. He grabbed a book from the side table and handed it to her.

"A yearbook?" she was very confused then and just looked at its plain blue leather cover with its gold lettering. "I didn't buy a yearbook…" she looked over at him dumbfounded.

"I know, I got it for you and had everyone you know sign it." he grinned. "I got to sign it first though."

"Uh…thanks…" she wasn't sure what to say about this strange gift in her lap. On the one hand it was nice of him to go through the trouble of getting people who probably were trying to enjoy their summer, to sign her copy of the yearbook.

Flipping it opened the first thing she found was Freddie's message. It was written on the back of the front cover, the plain white part of the book. It took up half of it, the other half had what looked like a poem.

She frowned though when she realized that it was in Spanish.

"I thought you might like it if I made it a challenge to read." he grinned and then felt her hand connect with the back of his head. "Or not…you want me to read it to you?"

"In Spanish?"

He knew then that she liked him speaking Spanish and took the book from her. With one final glance at her he turned his eyes down toward the book and read what he'd written.

"Empezamos como enemigos, solo para darnos cuenta que todo era un juego. Adentro sabíamos que éramos 2 amigos que tenían la necesidad de molestarse mutuamente. Pero eso no cambia lo que siento por ti, Parece que incluso después de todos estos años de conocerte sigo amándote mas cada día, el problema es que no puedo decírtelo directamente. Siempre uso estas formas para expresalo. Esta canción me hace pensar en ti, como todas las canciones acerca de una chica lo hace. Te amo Sam, siempre lo hare.- Freddie." he read it and it just rolled off his tongue beautifully.

"So I guess you know that I like you speaking Spanish?" she raised an eyebrow at him and he just shot a 'badboy' smirk her way.

"Yep. You want to know what it says?"

"Sure why not."

He just smiled and read it in English.

"We've had a strange friendship but I wouldn't change it for anything. I can still remember when we were younger and you'd torment me constantly. Nothing really has changed in that department, the torturing might be a little different but it still feels like us. I don't know where we'll be or what we're going to be doing but I hope we'll always be friends.-Freddie."

She felt like he was not being completely honest but let it go. It was still a nice little entry to her.

"Wow, when I think you can't get anymore nerdish you go and do this."

"And the moment is ruined." he laughs. "Come on let's go get something to snack on." he sits up further and gets ready to get up but is stopped by Sam who looks kind of lost.

It took a moment for him to realize what was going on.

She was hugging him, not in a sexual way, but more like a 'thank you' hug or an 'I love you' hug, though that was wishful thinking on his part.

Pulling her into him, he breathed her in as much as he could and hoped that he could do this forever.

* * *

**Panda Note:** I know that there wasn't too much Seddie, but this stuff was important to the story. More Seddie next chapter! Let me know what you guys think of this one, please? Other then that I wanna give thanks to the peeps who were super helpful in getting me to write this as well as helping in writing: Fictions of Legends, Luna Moody and Absolutely_m [Miss Mara]. The song will be mentioned again later, well soon. Sorry I didn't put it here, but if you're curious its called 'Ai No Uta', it was suggested to me by Absolutely_m but I didn't put it in here, but will in one of the next few chapters left.

**

* * *

Reviewers I can't PM:**

**Candybeat:** Hey hey! I know you on ze twitter. Thanks for reading and letting me know how ya feel about this fic! That makes my day! Yeah I love David because he's like a geek but he's still a mellow dude and still 'Mr. cool'. He's not as spastic like our lovable Freddie. I also don't really like reading 'smut' but at times I end up reading them anyways. They do take a lot away from a story because the characters are doing things that shouldn't be read. But they are still great stories; I just can't do that with this one. I don't know if I could ever write a smut fic.

**iLikecheesealot:** I love cheese too! I hope this quenched your thirst, sorry it took forever, I've been getting clogged up, writing wise. Enjoy!

**Seddie101:** I wish I could reply to you via PM but cannot. I'll be honest, your review kinda stunned me for a bit but I'm over that. I gotta learn to take critiquing when I get it. But thanks! No worries though on all that, this fic isn't going to total smutville anytime soon. Besides it's nearing the end and I'm not about random sandwich making scenes, they annoy me actually. I think I explained this above but I don't want to go check, but it wasn't that they weren't 'sure'. It had more to do with being a little nervous about taking that step, like most are. While I try to respect peeps for what they believe, I don't think 'marriage' is really set in stone. I've grown up around things like divorce and affairs, there are just too many things that could go wrong. Why not give yourself to someone you really trust and love rather than wait on someone who might end up taking away that beautiful first time from you by placing negative memories to it? That's where my mind was when I wrote that chapter. I hope that it didn't chase you away, I do enjoy hearing from you.

**Cassieeeee is a seddie LOVAR!:** Thanks!!!

**sr:** I love that part too! Gotta love Nevel….


	18. Quality Time With Roger

**Disclaimer:** I own my bottle of Teddy's Cream Soda, which is delicious btw! Other than that I can't claim this awesome show.

**Panda Note:** So hello again! I wonder how this chapter will go, so here we go on another journey into my fic. Thanks to **Scribbled Ink **for telling me what type of dog Hammy is! It's also mentioned in the chapter so watch out! I really hope you guys enjoy this chapter and give me awesome feedback!

Also guys there will be some references to old movies and there's some links on my profile page if you'd like a visual. The two movies are 'Summer Stock' starring Gene Kelly and Judy Garland, it's a great movie! The other is called 'The Rat Race' which stars Debbie Reynolds and Tony Curtis. I'm hoping no one get's confused. Let me know if you do or if its not that great to have it there at all. Okay go read!

**Pimpin' Stories:**

iGo to Dingo World by **Fictions of Legends** - Seddie

iCarly's own MLP by **luna moody** - Seddie

Different by x**xjourney** – Spam

15 Going On 25 by **OmfgNewCeiling** – Seddie

iDo by **Harry Potter Fan 1994** – Seddie

There All Along by**Delanie Faye** – Seddie

iWon't Be Seventeen Forever by **LuDiamonds**

The JournalDiaryBlog Thing of Sam Puckett by **AwkwardSquirrel**

All stories written by: **Basco57** [go read!]

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Chapter Seventeen

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May ended on a soft note, letting June shine through. The group had spent a nice few weeks just enjoying what little of the summer they could. With how fast things had been moving they found themselves meeting June 11th, the date in which they planned to start packing up their own things and preparing to send them off to their respective new homes. Carly had already found out where her dorm would be and had most of her things sent there, while Spencer had one of Socko's relatives there loading everything into her new home.

Sam had lined up a few places in Boston but knew that if she took the one she really wanted to she would end up having to get a job to pay for part of it. The school she'd chosen helped find housing and for a select few managed to get into the dorms, she wasn't so lucky. She managed to have her money enough to pay a few months but after that she'd be stuck.

Freddie kept most of his school information to himself, like Sam had and she only knew what Carly had told her months before.

In defeat the curly-haired blond cleared her throat and took one more sip of her smoothie, her two best friends sitting in front of her, in a perfect triangle. _How_ _appropriate,_ she thought to herself, thinking of the past few years events.

"Well are you going to tell us what's going on?" Carly finally asked, getting tired of the suspense. She kept trying to go through her list of the possible outcomes of this conversation, Sam could say just about anything. She hoped it was something she already knew about, she wasn't sure what other shocks she could take. For the most part the brunette knew too much about the two sitting before her.

As she watched them share a look, which had been more frequent lately, she couldn't help but smile to herself. Then memories would surface, especially at the local Groovy Smoothie, years ago. That night that she and Freddie had shared a dance, after their dates had been less that satisfying. Shaking the thoughts and memories away she focused on the news in which her dearest friend was about to share.

"Come on Sam, enough with the dramatic suspense. Just tell us already." frowned Freddie who looked a bit on edge. As if he had something to worry about at this moment. Then again there was that whole episode that the two refused to talk to Carly about. She already knew about their whole after-anti-prom shenanigans, but knew better than to bring it up with them. Again. Even if Sam refused to talk to her about it, Carly knew that something _significant_ happened; she could see it between them.

"Alright alright." the blond sighed and let her hands press against the table, causing her smoothie to be boxed within the joining of her index and thumbs. "I know I don't tell you guys about school, because it's just not my thing. But see…oh man…this is hard…" she racked a hand through her tresses and looked up to see the two looking concerned that she'd implode right there or combust. It was a coin toss on which would happen. They weren't used to Sam being like this on a regular basis.

"And…?" Carly waved her hand in the air for her friend to continue with her train of thought.

"I had a choice to make that wasn't as easy as I thought it would be." she paused for a second. "I thought it would be so simple to just say 'I pick you' and be done with it."

"What do you mean?" Carly prodded, clearly not sure what this had to do with anything. Of all the things she'd known about, this was a new one. Freddie on the other hand looked thoughtful, as though he'd just realized something. Like he knew more than he let on and had kept it all for himself. Carly found herself narrowing her eyes at the other brunette at the table. Even with her sneaking and plotting the two still managed to hide some things. Maybe she gave them too much privacy?

_Okay that was just creepy on so many levels. I'm as bad as a stalker._ Carly thought to herself, disturbingly.

"Fine." grumbled Sam picking at her nails. "I got into a bunch of fancy schools and then that school I wanted to go to here in Seattle got filled up. So I thought 'hey, this is great, now all I have to do is choose'. But it wasn't so easy when I got the letter from _Le Cordon Bleu _and had another decision to make."

"Oh wow, what schools did you get accepted to?" Carly was leaning forward in her seat, smoothie forgotten.

"Harvard, MIT, Berkeley, University of Toronto, you know those schools that all the rich kids go to."

"No way!" cried Carly with wide eyes. Her best friend got accepted to all these 'top ranked' schools and didn't bother telling her. That wasn't even the whole thing either; how did Sam even get to that point. Had there been a big brain in that curly head of her best friend, or supposed best friend. Maybe she'd been replaced, by Freddie. Sam had never given off the vibes of a genius and Carly knew for sure that she hardly even cared for school work during high school.

"Before you ask how it's possible, I may as well come clean with that too." began Sam, taking a hearty sip of her beverage. "I've been _secretly_ in love with Physics since we had to take it freshman year. I didn't want you guys to know because….well…I don't know why but I just didn't. My Advanced Physics teacher sent in this paper I wrote for her class to some guy at MIT and other universities got a hold of it and then the offers came in. It was on 'Quantum Field Theory'." she shrugged as though she were talking about a sports team.

"What's that?" Freddie found himself asking while Carly could only nod.

"It's too complicated to go into, just trust me on that. But it got me all sorts of offers and then I couldn't figure out what I should do. Then I had this weird realization—wow that was lame—and here I am."

"So what did you choose?" Carly prodded again.

"Isn't it obvious?" the blond cocked an eyebrow at her best friend, who seemed confused and unsure.

"Well…no it's not…" Carly frowned confused.

The brunette sent a glance over to Freddie who was smiling in that cocky sort of way that sometimes got on Sam's nerves. It seemed that he already guessed her choice in school, before Carly. How was that even possible? Delving deep into her mind she wondered how it came to be that Freddie could hold all this endless information on _her_ best friend. Had she just not been paying attention the whole time? Was she that far out of the some silent loop?

She was starting to feel odd, not what she expected to feel at that moment. While pride and joy filled her up, she also felt alien at the table. Like she'd just met Freddie and Sam for the first time.

She had always thought herself an observant person and that was what led her to seeing her two best friends together. Sure there had been times when she worried that she'd be the third wheel, but it was for the best. At times it felt like she'd always been the third wheel and maybe she was. They'd always had their own little world where only they could enter and she could see it.

Love, really honest to goodness love that no person could ever tarnish.

With a vigorous shake of her head she pushed away the negative and tried to focus on the fact that her best girlfriend in the world was a mad genius and was getting what she always wanted.

Then it dawned on her what Sam chose.

It had been there all along and she'd known.

Maybe it took her a little longer but it was there, it was clear.

"Carly?" Sam called looking at the contemplative face of her best friend. "Did I short a circuit in your brain, kid?"

With a final shake, Carly focused on the blue eyes staring at her in mixed concern and curiosity.

"I'm alright." she smiled softly and then got up from her seat and threw her arms over the blond. "I'm just so proud of you!" she could feel herself start to cry as she held onto the surprised blond, who was laughing at her best friend's mirth.

Freddie took this time to shake his head, stand up and embrace the two females who were making a scene.

It was quite a spectacle in itself, Carly going back and forward with Sam's trapped body and Freddie going along with Carly's motions. It was surprising that they hadn't knocked over the table and the poor chair in which Sam still sat in.

* * *

"I can't believe you'd do that!" cried Sam.

"Believe it kid." stated Roger with a shrug.

Friendly fire, he liked to call it.

She called it mutiny against the leader of the three man team. She'd been given the title as leader, due to the lack of assertiveness from the two males in her team.

Her backside had a nice bright lime green splat of paint upon it.

Yet again, not so friendly fire.

The three—Roger, David and herself—were at a paintball field, teamed up against Carly, Spencer and Freddie. The idea first came to the older man when his daughter had informed him that she'd never paintball-ed before. It seemed like it was about time that they did something as a group. The summer was ending and they three web-stars would be off to bigger and better things, away from home and away from him.

He wanted as many memories as he could get with Sam and this was one of the countless others on the list. It wasn't that long ago when she'd glared at him in the lobby of Bushwell the day they'd taken Sarah's ashes to the beach. Yet it sort of felt like a distant memory, one that you could barely see from the glare of the bright sun that had blinded them all. Despite the burning light, he enjoyed the warmth.

Sam's back pressed against a random tree as shots of colorful paint flew in different directions. The adrenaline in her veins flowed as she caught a flash of fluffy dark brown hair.

With a devious smirk she felt her feet carry her off—stealthily like a ninja should be—after Freddie who had suddenly become hard to spot in the darkening wooded area. He wasn't very sneaky—no—not at all. She could faintly hear footsteps off in the distance, going west.

The sun was setting in a perfect Kodak picture moment and she found herself stopping for a split second to look at it. She wasn't sure why she did but her eyes couldn't leave the different hues of pinks and oranges, mixing in with purples and blues. The cloud cover made everything glow; it was all just too perfect to be real.

Maybe it was foolish on her part to stop in her hunt, for the next thing she saw was big chocolate irises grinning down at her, an inch from her face. The faint smell of wet earth attacked her senses and her fingers brushed against the damp grassy terrain.

Something like this whole scenario wouldn't have happened years ago between the pair. If they were still fourteen and he'd tried this, she probably would have caused him bodily harm.

Now she welcomed the contact, it felt familiar and right.

Like they did.

Trying to remain nonchalant about him catching her off guard, she raised an eyebrow at him.

"Was there a plan in this surprise attack, Benson?" she asked as his chilled breath came out before her eyes and mingled with hers.

Freddie's breathes were coming out rapidly as his eyes focused on hers, then shifted to her lips. The cold disappeared the moment his hand reached up to touch her cheek. Heat traveled through her bones, from head to toe in less than three seconds.

Freddie Benson was probably going to end her reputation and she didn't even seem to care at all.

"You do realize that we're out here…all alone…right?" he whispered, it surprised her how deep his voice really had become. She'd always noticed the change, just never gave much thought to it before. "We're off the normal trail, everyone is more North-east fighting it out right now." he smiled down at her as his fingers worked their way into her slightly damp hair. It didn't matter that her whole backside was soaked from the damp grass below her or that the only heat was coming from Freddie.

They hadn't really had time to be together, alone in a week. It had become part of their routine to be together at certain times and not seeing him like this had left her feeling disconnected somehow.

With the whole 'finding a place to live' and getting her stuff packed, there hadn't been much chance for them to just be together. With the few weeks they had left of summer, before they all went off into different directions, she wanted to treasure some of these moments. It was sad that she still remained on the fence about talking with him about being together while away at different schools. Could she even ask him such a thing?

Then it hit her like a ton of brinks.

When had she _ever_ asked anyone for anything?

She'd make him.

It was just that simple.

With a very flirtatious Freddie above her she did what she felt was right and kissed him full on the lips. It was a good thing she'd worn some chapstick that day, otherwise this would have been a little embarrassing.

He smiled into her lips and wrapped her in his arms, like he always did in their private moments like this, when the world no longer existed.

It's what it always felt like.

That's how it was supposed to be for two people in love.

Sure they'd never directly told one another but it must have been felt.

His warm lips pecked hers for a few moments and then he pulled back to look into her eyes. How could chocolate eyes be so expressive? How could they speak so loud that birds would flee from the sound?

It was getting dark and Sam could just barely see the last bits of the Tuesday sun bounce off his little fluff of hair, dance in his eyes and frame his cheekbones just right.

"You know, we're supposed to be enemies, out for blood?" she muttered, trying to push down the smile working its way onto her lips.

"I guess I'm fraternizing with the enemy then."

Chocolate was addicting when consumed too much.

She'd had her fair share of chocolate and knew how addicted she'd come to it.

This didn't matter though, after all chocolate was considered an aphrodisiac and she didn't mind that so much either.

"I suppose I am too." she found herself mumbling, transfixed by the light against his face.

When had Fredward Benson become_ beautiful _to her? She couldn't remember ever finding a guy, _beautiful_ before. But that was the only word that popped into her head at that moment.

"I'm sure my team will forgive me, but I doubt yours will forgive you." he grinned.

"All I have to do is break David's arm and sweet talk Roger and I'll have nothing to worry about." she shrugged and started to sit up a bit. He helped her up the rest of the way so that they were both sitting on the grass together. The sun had finished it descent behind the horizon, disappearing and allowing the moon it's time.

In the distance they could hear their respective teams calling their names and they both simultaneously sighed. Their moment was over and they'd have to go back to 'group time' as Sam had dubbed it. Roger, who she found she loved on some level, was quite persistent in spending every single day with all of them until their last day. It was another part to their whole 'not spending enough time together' thing. Sure they saw each other everyday but they couldn't have any time alone, just the two of them.

Sam knew that soon though she'd need to come clean with Freddie and tell him how she _really_ felt. It was still a rough draft in her mind; the words didn't seem to want to flow together in complete sentences.

Getting emotional was not her way of doing things. She'd rather beat someone into submission than have to talk through her feelings.

With Freddie it was especially hard, even though she already knew his feelings for her.

"We should get back." she heard him say, bringing her out of her thoughts.

"Whatever." she grumbled and stood up, he followed suite and they remained there for a moment looking at one another. "Maybe…" she started and didn't know where she was headed with that thought. _I know exactly what I was going to say…just don't think I should…_she thought to herself as he gave her his pouty lip which stated he was curious and slightly concerned.

"Yeah?" he asked adjusting his paintball gun against his back. He couldn't stop his eyes from admiring Sam in her 'armor'. It was hot in that Sam sort of way. That's all he could think as she clinched her fists and attempted to get something out of her mind.

"Never mind, let's go." she headed off towards the sound of Carly and Spencer calling out while David and Roger grumbled over how their 'leader' had abandoned them.

Sam and Freddie linked fingers ever so lightly together and headed off for their group, making sure to let go before anyone could see.

* * *

"Seriously old man, why the hell are we watching this?"

Sam had found herself questioning everything that Roger had planned out. Each thing followed something worse, something she'd never do. She could admit though that she'd started having a little fun, when it didn't involve cheesy old movies on a Wednesday night.

Spencer was fast asleep 52 minutes into the previous movie, with the large thing of popcorn still in his lap, hand shoved deep into the bowl. Carly remained awake and leaning over the coffee table watching intently, as Roger leaned forward in his seat to the left of the room.

Freddie seemed sort of into the movie, he sat beside her on the couch, next to the sleeping Spencer.

They'd watched 'Summer Stock' in which Gene Kelly and Judy Garland starred as a farmer and a theatre group. They were at the part in which Judy's character takes over as lead in their production, when Spencer had dozed off. To his credit he'd been up most of the night before, working on a sculpture.

The movie playing was one called 'The Rat Race' and it seemed alright so far. Pete's been duped into believing that he's got a gig with a band who has him leave to get drinks and then they proceed to steal all his instruments.

"How can someone be so gullible?" Sam whispered to Freddie in the dark room. He shrugged and looked thoughtful for a moment.

"Some people are just trusting." he finally replied after a moment.

"I just don't get how he could leave all his stuff with a bunch of strangers. This is the big city; you don't go around trusting people." Sam frowned as she watched Pete and Peggy talking about the theft. "I kind of like Peggy though; she seems to look at things in a more realistic way."

Freddie couldn't help but roll his eyes at this. "Of course you'd think that." he glanced over at her and couldn't help but grin as she gave him her best glare.

"What's that supposed to mean Freddifer?"

"I don't blame Pete for wanting to see the best in people, even when he gets screwed over time after time. You know something good is going to happen to him, he's the underdog."

"You guys realize that they're going to end up together right?" Carly turned to look at the couple, smiling. The smile was more for her thought process, them being a couple.

"Why do you think that? They do nothing but argue over stupid things." Sam found herself saying before something dawned on her. They were like her and Freddie. "Never mind." she mumbled and got comfortable. Sometime during one of the movies Freddie had turned into a human pillow; one which grumbled continually about having her head on his leg.

It wasn't until they started 'The Rat Race' that he'd started to run his fingers through her hair, absent-mindedly. In truth Sam wished he had started to do that a few movies before, but she's never admit that to him.

Carly smiled to herself as she continued to watch the plot unfold on the television screen. It was a great idea of Roger's to pick a bunch of films with bickering duos. Her hope was that the two on the couch next to Roger would get the message and do what the movies always portray and get it over with.

The older gentleman yawned and looked over at the clock as the movie grew closer to the end, it was getting late.

"I think I should head home, you guys get some sleep. Tomorrow we've got a whole list of things to do and not much time." he informed them, bent over and pecked Sam's forehead and then stood to leave. "See you guys at noon."

Roger left.

Carly stretched and bid her two friends a goodnight, after waking up Spencer and directing him to his room, while he asked her why the kangaroo stole his yo-yo. She assured him that the kangaroo left it on his nightstand and he smiled before collapsing onto his bed. With her task complete she disappeared up the stairs while her two best friends remain on the couch alone.

It was a welcomed silence that passed as they watched the plot continuing to play out the tv, the movie was almost over. Pete had given up all his possessions to save her and she had planned to run. Pete declares his love and this causes Sam to sit up in her seat. Freddie glances over at her as her eyes focus on Peggy, who she's come to understand on some level during the course of the movie.

The last few moments of the movie had the pair feeling the temperature raise in the living room as Peggy and Pete confronted a possible relationship.

"So…" Freddie started, feeling his heart raise.

"Shh…" Sam waved a hand toward him and ended up smacking him in the forehead.

It was nearing its end. Only four minutes were left of the entire movie. Pete continually attempted to talk with Peggy about the letters they had sent to one another while he was working on a cruise ship, in the band. He'd been gone for a while and she was fighting off her feelings, badly. Sam and Freddie realized how a like they were to the pair on the television and it had them paying closer attention than they normally would a movie.

Pete says, "I think I love you…"

Peggy looks off into the distance and asks, "When will you know?"

It's apparent that Peggy is afraid to allow herself to accept the fact that she loves him too. Afraid that he'll get hurt being with her and it hits Sam square in the face. She'd known it all along, heck she'd admitted it on a few occasions, to herself, but was she afraid to be happy?

The couple on the tv had started talking of his trip on the cruise and how he'd been 'mixed' with women. It soon came to light that Peggy didn't wish for him to ever go on another trip, admitting wordlessly that she'd be the only one to 'mix' with him.

"That's the last time you go on that kind of job." Peggy says, in a breathy voice, looking up at Pete, who slightly smiles down at her and says, "Yeah? How you going to stop me?"

It brings a smile to Sam's face then, it's such a Freddie thing to ask that she has to shake her head at this.

"Are you kidding?" Peggy whispers in a knowing way, as though he'd just made a joke.

It was then that they kissed, answering any questions further, followed by 'The End' and the dramatic finale music.

Sam and Freddie remained motionless for a moment as they let the music play and the credits roll on. Ever so lightly their eyes shifted and their heads turned toward one another. It was so much like a movie that they both started to laugh at its absurdity.

"I think it's time for bed." Sam said standing up and stretching, ignoring the moment that had just passed them by.

Hammy, who had made himself scarce jumped up from his resting place near the front door and started up the stairs. He'd stopped growing, much to everyone's surprise. They hadn't found out until recently what type of dog he was. It appeared though that there was another breed mixed in with his Corgi one.

It seemed to Sam, once she found this out, that they were just right for one another.

She turned to Freddie and held out her hand to him. It became customary for him to spend the night and he'd usually manage to get up in time to get back home, in the morning. They never did anything that would be considered 'inappropriate' surprisingly enough; they just liked the company at night. Once you've had that soft weight on the other side of the bed, it's hard to just cut yourself from it.

He followed her up and they fell onto her bed, like so many nights before, as though they'd been doing it for years. Hammy made himself comfortable at the foot of the bed and flopped onto his side, brushing his fur against Sam's exposed foot.

The only light in the room came from the tinted windows and a small lamp sitting on the side table.

Freddie kicked off his shoes and looked up at the ceiling, like he had other nights. This night his thoughts were on the movie they'd just finished and how similar they were to the main characters.

The past week, he's noticed many occasions in which his blond friend had attempted to talk with him about something, only to change her mind. He'd hoped that by the time they had to leave in a few days she'd tell him. It could only be one of two things and he was hoping for a positive end to that talk.

"Fredlumps?" she called in a hushed tone, he'd decided to call it 'Bedroom!Sam', if they were talking in a blog that is. Or 'Pillow talk Sam', the voice became hushed and calming and he'd find himself lulling off to sleep whenever she talked.

"Hm?" he turned his head a bit to look at her but all he could see was her closed eyelids.

"What do you think of long-distance relationships?" she couldn't believe she'd said that.

The room grew silent as Freddie allowed her question to linger above them. Had she meant for it to be rhetorical? Was she trying to put something out there for him to catch?

"I don't know; they could work if the people in the relationship tried. Most times they don't though." he wasn't sure where that had come from but he needed to keep her on her toes, keep her from finding out his plans.

He couldn't believe he actually had a plan in motion to 'get the girl', as it would be said in some romantic comedy. Sam wasn't about to throw herself into his arms and officially become his and he had tried being direct with her and failed miserably. It seemed wise to work around her and find some way to convince her that she might just care for him like he did for her.

It seemed simple enough.

He made sure to come off detached from most of their conversations, only answering as a friend. His sad attempts would hopefully lead to a grand end to this endless dance they'd gone through for months.

"You're probably right, even though that's difficult to admit. Can't have you proving me wrong, then what would people say." she laughed humorlessly. It became apparent to him that he might have seen her question then the wrong light and missed an opened chance.

"You are a genius after all, so I'm bound to be wrong a lot more than you…" he couldn't hold back the smirk forming on his lips. Turning his head to the side he found her looking at him strangely.

"Does that bother you?" she seemed genuinely curious about his answer as her eyebrows knitted closer together.

Holding her eyes he smiled now and reached over for her hand. It was so much smaller then his own. Delicate almost. There were so many words to describe the female beside him on the bed and delicate didn't come close to being one of them. As he brought her hand to his chest and held it there, looking into her eyes he knew that they were the only eyes he ever wanted to look into before falling asleep and waking up in the morning.

"Nope."

"So you aren't bothered by me being some freak of nature?"

"Sam, you've always been this way, the only difference is that you finally admitted it."

"You knew?" she frowned, not sure if she should be offended by him agreeing about the 'freak' part.

"Yeah, you maybe great a lying at times but I've always thought you were smart."

"Wow Freddie, do you have to be such a girl right now?"

"What would you have me say?"

"What you said was fine, but you don't have to get all mushy about it. I'm supposed to be the girl here."

He rolled his eyes and reached a free hand over to flick off the light. After this task he pulled the blankets over them and settled in for the night. She shifted until her head was faced toward his, he could faintly see her iris in the dark, looking at him.

Blue was the last thing he saw before he drifted off to sleep, it was no officially his favorite color.

**

* * *

**

After a few days of Roger's random get-togethers she'd decided she should take over, before everyone was driven crazy. Carly and David were so close to just abandoning Sam and Freddie with the man. Sam, as much as she wanted to, couldn't tell her father that he was getting a little too obsessed with this.

So Sam told everyone on that Saturday to come over and she and Spencer would cook them up some night breakfast, seeing as how Carly had vanished sometime that morning and returned that evening, after many calls from Sam.

This is where Carly found herself, sitting at the table with Freddie, David and Roger while Spencer and Sam worked together in the kitchen. The two were amazing together; it always brought a smile to her face when her brother and her best friend got along like siblings.

Spencer had become something of a brother to Sam over the course of the year and no one seemed to even notice it. Her father thought it was a little strange that Spencer would go and take in the girl. He'd never understand though, since he couldn't _see it_ like she could.

The pair in the kitchen began to fight over the spatula, Sam won. She flipped the pancakes over and allowed them to continue to cook while Spencer danced in place, mixing the eggs around. The bacon and sausage cooked on one of the back burners while the pair worked on the two front ones.

"I'm cookin' I'm cookin' I'm cookin' food for people who eat." he had sung happily while Sam joined in his dance.

"I'm cookin' I'm cookin' I'm cookin' food that people will chow." Sam finished, removing the cooked pancakes from the griddle.

"Who's ready to feast?" Spencer asked.

The table before them was filled with an assortment of breakfast foods.

"At least now we can all relax." commented Sam giving her father a look from across the table.

"What, I thought it's what the kids liked to do." he shrugged while stuffing a nice large piece of pancake into his mouth.

"The paintball thing was fun and even the movie night was alright but that list the other day was just too much."

"I guess I went a little overboard. I just..." he started and sighed.

"I know." Sam said rolling her eyes. "But we do need to take breaks between all of the crazy. Besides you and I can hang out just us at times too." she suggested and couldn't believe she'd actually said it out-loud. She'd been doing that a lot lately too and she was beginning to get concerned by her un-Sam-like behavior.

"Sure that sounds reasonable." he looked at her as though she weren't 'herself'.

"This is delicious!" cried Carly who's eyes were wide as she shoveled more food into her mouth, in a lady-like manner of course.

They group continued to eat and talk about random subjects, the guys all ended up debating about Galaxy Wars by the end. Sam couldn't believe her own father was a Galaxy Wars lover. She thought she could handle het male-friend-who-she-had-feelings-of-love-for and even Carly's boyfriend but this was just too much. Sam and Carly made themselves scarce after the four guys started watched the movie.

"Girl time!" Carly cheered as the two flopped onto Carly's bed, movie of their own popped into the dvd player.

"I suppose we could call it that, just between us." Sam winked. "But could we watch something with more comedy and less mush?"

"Sure, whatever you want."

* * *

Monday morning Sam woke and realized she was late. She was supposed to meet up with everyone to get her stuff completely packed to send over with a moving van. Her poor truck wouldn't make the trip and she refused to spend how many hours it would take to get there in a small cramped car. So it was decided that their last week in Seattle would be dedicated to packing up her stuff, while Carly still had to send her bed and TV. They were only objects left of her bedroom.

Sam didn't have much as it was so the whole move wouldn't take too long. Roger had said he wanted to talk with her more about the place he'd set up for her.

Hammy barked at the opening of her bedroom as Freddie and Carly came into view.

"Yep she overslept." Carly sighed.

"Told you." grinned Freddie.

"I guess you should have told her to get up earlier." replied Carly.

"Yeah right, like I want to be punched in the face first thing in the morning."

"If you guys don't shut it you'll both be getting some of Mama's fist." grumbled Sam trying to bury herself under her pillow.

"Get up Sam, we've got a lot to do today, before we all have to leave, you know, for college and all that fun stuff."

With those words spoken, Sam found herself jumping from up from bed and searching for clothes. Pretty soon she'd be leaving Seattle, Roger, Spencer and Freddie would be off soaking up the sun with some hot babe in California.

Not unless she decided to do something about that. It was up for debate on whether or not she could tie him down to her for four years of their college life. There'd be a whole United States between them and only stray phone calls and maybe even web chat, but was that enough? He even said it himself; he couldn't see a long distance relationship working out.

Maybe it was best to leave them as just friends and see what would happen later on down the road. Not that she was thinking that far ahead, she'd just barely opened her eyes and her mind wasn't as sharp yet.

"Let's do this." she said half serious half tired.

"Definitely!" cheered Carly as the trio left the studio.

**

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Panda Note:** I know this is short and that was the intent of it all. This was supposed to be something random before the next chapter could happen, I could have added it with that one but then this won't be out for a while. I also feel bad for leaving you all hanging like some jerk.

**

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Reviewers who didn't login:**

**Scribbled Ink** – Thanks! I love that word btw! Thanks for the info on the dog, I seriously couldn't figure out what type he was and I even mentioned it on here, I put a thanks in my author's note to ya!

**Steffy** – OMG that's so nice of you, it's not creepy at all! I'm so feeling complimented hardcore right now! I hope you enjoyed this update!!

**arge** – Aww thanks that makes me feel loads better! I'm glad you liked it and said that, makes me feel all special!

**angels.** – hey dear! OMG I never realized how dangerous this story is to tardiness! Jk! I hope you liked the update and I'll try to get more out soon, I've been super lazy and I do wanna get this story done so I'll try to make it soon, the next chapter is going to be a little longer than this one was. See ya next review!


	19. Fin: Before We Leave

**Disclaimer:** Guess what!? I don't own iCarly or anything else I might mention that isn't my plot, but then that's not even mine, just my views of it. I do own my awesomeness.

**Panda Note:** Hello good people!!! I believe we've reached the end…almost! See I was going to post a huge chapter and be done with it but I figured I'd go easy on you guys and post half of this chapter and then the next once its finished. But trust me the very last of the story will be up soon after this. I've been working on it a lot more this week and I'm close to the end of the entire story. If I had simply just finished this all up then it would have been done. But like I said, it'll be shorter and easier to read. Expect the final chapter soon and the epilogue, which will be the easier chapter to write. Leave me a great review guys!!

**Pimpin' Stories:**

iGo to Dingo World by **Fictions of Legends** - Seddie  
iCarly's own MLP by **luna moody** - Seddie  
Different by x**xjourney** – Spam  
15 Going On 25 by **OmfgNewCeiling** – Seddie  
iDo by **Harry Potter Fan 1994** – Seddie  
There All Along by**Delanie Faye** – Seddie  
iWon't Be Seventeen Forever by **LuDiamonds**  
The JournalDiaryBlog Thing of Sam Puckett by **AwkwardSquirrel**  
The End of a Dreamby** Falling Further – Creddie Flavored [**_its amazingly written I highly suggest it, even if you're a Seddie fan_**…]**

All stories written by: **Basco57** [go read!]

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**Chapter Eighteen

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**

If it were at all possible Freddie was more shocked then he'd ever been before. He wasn't sure how he ended up sitting in front of his mother or Roger Puckett but it was weird.

It was clear that they were collaborating on something secretive and he had the strangest feeling that he was involved somehow.

The two were glancing at one another as if having a hard time trying to tell him something. Whatever it could be they'd made sure that Sam and Carly would be off somewhere away from home. Roger took a seat next to him while his mother opted for an armchair. The pair continued to glance at each other, as if trying to get the other to begin this conversation.

"You do it." his mother said, eyes bulging a bit out of her eye sockets. She looked completely on edge, sitting there in the blue armchair, her fingers ringing together.

"Why me?" Roger complained as glared over at his mother.

"Because I said so." she glowered and folded her arms.

"I thought you planned on telling him behind her back?" he commented offhandedly. _'Behind whose back?' _Freddie wondered to himself, scrunching his eyebrows together in confusion.

"He's got to know what's going on before they leave." his mother finally said sighing. She turned her big brown eyes towards his and smiled sadly.

His mother was always overbearing and difficult to understand at times. There were even instances where he wished he could run away and never see the woman again, this never happened though. This move, this new chapter in his life was something he pined for. But he knew how difficult it was going to be for the woman across from him. Whatever this was about, he hoped it wouldn't interfere with his plans to be with Sam.

It felt like it was the only important thing in his world and maybe it was.

"Tell him Marissa."

Something was definitely going on in his little world and he didn't like how uncomfortable and nervous the two adults before him were.

"Fine." she gathered up all her courage and looked Freddie straight in the eye. "There's been a lot of plotting on our part to get you and Samantha together." she stated rather bluntly and waited for a reaction from him.

"What?" was all he could manage to say.

"Carly presented us with a plan to get you and my daughter together." Roger confirmed with a nod.

"It all started a few months ago and despite a few successes we knew it wasn't going to be that simple. Sam is very stubborn and won't give in. I know it wasn't right of all of us to interfere but it was the only way." his mother's eyes pleaded with him to understand.

He did.

He really did understand despite all the sneaking around.

There wasn't anything inside of him to feel angry over this.

"Who else was involved?" he found himself asking a little too calmly. How else was he supposed to act after finding out that the people in his life had been involved in some way with his 'relationship' with Sam. He briefly wondered if Sam knew about all of this. It did bother him that he wasn't brought in all this time, he could have had help. But that wasn't the important part at that moment.

"You're not mad?" Roger asked, surprised by the calm young man sitting beside him.

"No, so are you going to tell me?"

"Right." nodded his mother. "It's mainly Carly, me and Roger but your friend Gibby and that Nevel Papperman kid were also helping. It wasn't as massive as you might think but we needed to have people in different places."

"You make it sound like some sort of secret agent mission." Freddie laughed humorlessly leaning into the couch.

"It was hard to keep secrets when you two made it so difficult." commented his mother. "I took all those extra 'shifts' only to crash at Roger's some of the time or I'd actually be at work. Either way I avoided home."

"I don't understand though, why did you of all people want me to be with Sam? You don't really like her that much and she's not the type of girl you'd want met to be with." he looked his mother dead in the eye and waiting to hear her answer. He had no way of really knowing what to expect from her. Over the years she might have been somewhat predictable in her reactions but this was all new to him. He'd only seen her approve of 'nice' girls and never once even consider Sam an option. Heck he hadn't seen her as one either for the longest time. He'd seen the strange relationship develop between his mother and Sam and wondered when it was that his mother found her 'acceptable' for him.

Marissa Benson looked uncomfortable with his question; she wiggled in her seat and fiddled with the fabric on her cotton shirt.

"It's complicated Freddie, but I know she's the one for you. I've seen how you look at her and I've seen how much she loves you. I can't object to a girl who's so willing to give you up to make you happy or to send you off to find someone better. To me, there isn't anyone better than her." over the course of her explanation she looked somewhat wistful and had a small smile playing on her lips.

He could feel his face spread out in surprise at his mother's words.

"I don't…but she doesn't…" he struggled. He knew she cared but 'love' wasn't something she'd ever admit, especially if she could possibly feel that for him.

"Oh Freddie, she does. You just gotta do something about it." piped in Roger with a smile. "What I've learned about her in the short time I've had with her is that you can't be direct, she doesn't do well with confrontation of the emotional kind."

"I've gathered that much thanks." he stated sarcastically, not really meaning to get snippy with her father. The man usually kept him at arms length when it came to Sam, knowing how fathers could be with their daughter in 'relationships'. If that's what they were even in, he saw it that way but she refused to admit it.

Anyone with eyes could see they were pretty much in a 'committed' relationship.

"Anyways, that's not the reason we called you here.

Freddie frowned and looked between the two, hoping that nothing else was about to be brought down.

"I told Roger about your offer to Boston University and we came up with a great win-win situation." Mrs. Benson smiled, proud of what they'd come up with.

"And?"

"As you know Sam's going to be living in an apartment near her school, since her choice was one that didn't involve 'dorm life'. I know that you managed to find a spot in a dorm but we want to present you with another option." Roger started, rubbing his palms against his baggy jeans. "I don't know what Sam tells you but I'm paying for her place for about a year, as a gift to her. She doesn't want me to but it's already set in stone. I got a great deal on it too."

"What does that have to do with me?" Freddie looked to the older man and raised an eyebrow.

"I put your name on the lease."

"What? Why?" Freddie was leaning on the edge of the couch now, the fabric making a weird squeak. The couch and his cargo pants didn't seem to agree with one another.

"Look we have an idea and all you have to do is go with it and I bet it will work." Roger continued.

"Freddie, sweetheart, as much as it bothers me to have you leave the state, the city or this apartment, I'd at least like you to be with someone who can…protect you." Marissa Benson smiled a slightly creepy smile before turning her eyes to Roger. "Go on."

"I think what your mother is saying is that she feels right with the idea of you and Sam living together. It's a leap from friends to roommates but I once this other plan goes into motion it won't be an issue anymore." he nodded to himself and Marissa joined him.

"I don't know if I should, this all seems a little wrong, doesn't it?"

"Would you rather her move there and try to tell you that you're better off without her?" it was Roger's turn to raise his eyebrow at the young man.

"I…well no."

The fluffy-haired tech producer looked down at his shoes for a moment and wondered if this was what it came down to. Could he go along with their plan and win her over and be happy? It all seemed a little too good to be true. It all depended on how Sam would receive this and if she should even know about the conversation that had just taken place in the apartment he'd known as his home for many years.

He couldn't continue to sit on the sidelines waiting for the right moment to make his move. It was either now or never and he rather hated the thought of never. Never wasn't an option at that moment that should've been answer enough to him.

"Alright, I'm in." he nodded with determination written on his face. "But I really don't think Sam needs to know about all of this, she'd be really upset knowing that the people in her life have been spying and plotting behind her back." he informed the two before standing up and walking to the kitchen.

"That's probably for the best." nodded Roger.

"Let's hear it then." prodded Freddie, returning to his seat with a beverage.

"Alright, here's the plan…"

**

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**

"Why didn't you ever tell me about this?" Carly questioned, turning her head towards the blond beside her on the now almost empty studio. Because of their plans to relocate to continue their show, most of their props had to be moved to storage closer to their school. Who knew where they'd be living after college. But they did know that their show had to continue no matter what, they couldn't just throw away all those years of hard work.

"I don't know, it just…it was _our_ thing, you know?" she tried to explain rather poorly.

"Oh, you mean you and Freddie? So watching these brought you guys closer together?" the brunette asked, as if she'd just realized something significant. Even with her large collection of information this had somehow slipped through the cracks. It brought up her earlier feelings about all that she'd missed out on in her friends lives. Had she really been that disconnected over half the year?

Sam's mom had a child and lost her and Sam didn't share that with Carly.

Not that she could blame the blond, she's spent so much time invested in school, her plans to get them together and her boyfriend she forgot all about being a friend.

"Something like that. Since it's about our families and reveals so much; we wanted to keep it between us." she shrugged and looked back up at the screen, watching the same clip she had a while ago. The one in which her mother was still pregnant. It all made more sense with the information she'd gathered from Roger.

"I understand and I'm glad you're sharing these with me." and she really meant it. How could she not when she had a chance to see the people responsible for creating a creature like Sam.

"I'm sorry Carls, I didn't mean to make you feel all…you know…excluded, I just…" rambled the blond who could seem to see that her best friend accepted her words already.

"I know." smiled Carly, and then turning her attention back to the television screen.

**

* * *

**

Spencer wasn't sure if he should be grateful or concerned by the fact that he wasn't lumped together with Roger and Mrs. Benson's confession to Freddie. He felt horrible for keeping it from Sam, because he always felt the need to be honest with her, he already had a bad enough time lying as it was.

There had been so many times he almost blurted out everything, but found other ways to stop himself.

Keeping this huge secret from her had been torture but he pressed through. Maybe he should have won the 'lying award', if it actually existed.

He was still a little foggy on that.

'_Nah, it's not real, if it was then I would have seen a trophy or a ribbon.'_ he nodded to himself. _'How do you even win a lying contest?'_

The house felt emptier everyday. Carly's bed had been shipped out the day before and her room was completely bare. Sam's belongings joined hers yesterday as well so the two were sleeping on air mattresses for the time being in the studio.

It wasn't any better in there, it felt like the world around him was coming to an end and he just didn't know how to feel about that.

As much as he complained over intruding teenagers running around his loft, eating his food and causing all sorts of drama, he'd miss it.

The noises and the laughter. They had grown into an odd little family and now they were all leaving.

It seemed like an end to one of his favorite books and he wants nothing more than to just stop at the best part and savor it.

"Sir?" called a voice; he looked around and came face to face with an older woman, looking up at him in annoyance. "I'd like to get out of here before the Reaper decided to drag me off. I do have a life, move along would ya?" she snipped at him and he realized that he was at the grocery store, at the register, with the cashier looking at him with confusion set on his face.

It wasn't until he looked behind him that he realized he'd caused a backup in the line and everyone was shooting death glares at him.

With a nervous laugh he managed to hand over the correct amount of money for his groceries and get out before anyone decided to attack. The elderly woman pierced her lips together and shook her head at him as he pushed his cart away from the bag boy.

'_I really shouldn't think so much while I'm grocery shopping…'_

* * *

It was a cool night in mid-June; they were all due to leave the next morning and Freddie found himself sitting on the fire escape once again. This time he wasn't alone for long, he'd made sure to text Sam and invite her to join him. It was their 'last' night together and he had hoped they could spend it working out whatever needed to be fixed before she left on her long drive up to Boston.

Carly and Sam had decided that since they both were headed in the same direction it would be a lot easier to travel together. Sam didn't like the idea at first, mainly because her truck was far too old to take such a long trip. Then there was the fact that they'd have Carly's motorcycle on the back of it as well.

This prompted Roger to have the truck looked over and repaired, much to Sam's protest. She didn't like having someone do those sorts of things for her, when she knew she could do them herself. But Roger refused to allow her to go on such a trip without being prepared and safe. Sam couldn't refuse when his intent was in the name of her safety. Though she probably wouldn't tell anyone she thought that, playing it off as something she'd pay him back for.

With their travel plans set the girls packed up their remaining belongings and decided to have a night to their selves, since they both were going to be trapped in a truck for hours, together. Without Freddie.

The female brunette webshow host had spent the entire afternoon with her boyfriend, who was attending school at NYU. Their relationship had progressed fairly well and Carly wondered if he could be 'the one' she'd been hoping for. It looked promising, even to Freddie and Sam who had the chance to really get to know him.

Freddie sighed as a light breeze ruffled his hair, tickling his forehead gently. His mind was cluttered with the plot that had been devised a few days before. He couldn't believe he'd agreed to throw himself out into moving traffic like this. It had to work though; he at least hoped it would.

The stars seemed brighter that night, or maybe he was noticing them clearly for once. They always seemed to be more blue then yellow or white when he stared long enough. Blue definitely was his favorite color.

"You know, when you ask a girl to come out here and she does, you don't completely ignore her, dipthong." stated a fiery demonic blond, who's blue eyes were mere inches from his brown.

"How long have you been out here?" he found his voice after a moment a hesitation. He couldn't have been off in his own little world that long, right?

"I actually just got out here but thought I'd mess with you a little." she winked before taking a seat beside him on the stairs. "So why'd you wanna meet out here? I know there's some significance to this place but still…" she sighed and leaned against the railing, looking out at the street lights below. It was still a bit early and the sun had only just set, leaving a light blue glow over to the west as the sky to the east glowed deep dark purples.

"I figured we could talk." he didn't look down at her when he said this, he couldn't. His eyes remained on the sky while hers looked below at the passing people, eight stories down.

"Is it that time again?" she sighed, knowing that she'd avoided it long enough. The nerd beside her would bring it up sooner or later, maybe that was part of the reason she'd waited so long. At least she hadn't been the one to bring it up. "I figured we'd had to talk before I leave tomorrow."

"That might be a good idea." he replied softly.

They went silent for a few moments while they allowed the other to speak up first. When it became apparent that neither wanted that arduous task Freddie decided to take the leap. He had been the one to set this little meeting on the fire escape in the first place.

"I don't even know where to start." he stated bringing his eyes back down from the stars to look at his hands. "I do know that you're leaving tomorrow and I don't want whatever we are to be left like this. Things have changed." he stated the last part with knitted eyebrows, as though the statement were even confusing to him.

"Honestly I have no idea what's going to happen to us, that is if there is an 'us' to even be concerned with."

He lifted his head to meet her eyes and asked the question he'd wanted an answer to for the longest time.

"Do you want there to be an 'us'? Do you want more than what we've—you know—been?" his eyes pleaded with her, practically begged her for the answer he hoped to hear.

This was what it all came down to though, what she wanted.

"I don't want us to not be friends." she mumbled holding his eyes, even though it was growing increasingly hard to do so. Being completely honest like this was pure torture.

"You know how I feel about all this, I'd be…willing to try…if you are." he raised an eyebrow and puckered his lips together like he always did when he was concerned or thoughtful. She'd grown used to that look as well as the face that went along with it.

"You said so yourself, most 'long-distance' relationships don't work out. Even for people like us, who have been friends for years. I can't expect you to want to wait four years to…you know…be together. That doesn't seem fair to anyone."

"Yeah…" he sighed and decided to be a little bold and take her hand in his. She didn't object to it and held his tightly as well. "It's up to you." even though he already knew what her answer would be.

"Don't put it all on me Benson, that's just…"

"No Sam, I've already given you my answer months ago. Remember what happened last time?"

She rolled her eyes but nodded, knowing full well what had happened. Her utter rejection towards his desire to be with her was fresh in her mind and yet she still couldn't bring herself to go through with it. Even though she'd fought over this with herself so many times she couldn't tell him yes, tell him she wanted to be with him.

He'd be so far away and there were better girls out there, in her opinion, for him. Knowing him he'd feel obligated to stay with just he, even when he wanted out, just because that's who he was.

It wouldn't be fair to him to stay with her out of obligation.

"How about we just try out being friends first, long distance. It's going to be hard enough doing iCarly without a tech producer…but keeping up the friendship between all three of us…"

"We've been through worse, I bet we'll be just fine." he assured her, though he wished he could just tell her the truth. It would have made things easier but then she'd try to fight it, like she was now. Yet he felt the need to tell her they would be fine, they could make it. But she wouldn't believe his words; she already had it in her mind that they'd fail.

The plan was the only way. Besides she needed a good surprise.

"So you want to try and see how we do as friends, long distance, before we jump the gun?" her voice asked; unsure.

"Sure." he sighed, though he wished he could say more. "But can I ask you something?"

"What?"

He'd prepared himself all day for this next question that was about to leave his mouth, he didn't expect an answer but he had to know.

"Why don't you want to actually get involved now?"

Her eyes grew wide as she looked at him; no words left her slightly parted lips for a few moments. The gravity of what he was asking was inconceivable.

"I don't know what you mean…" she managed to get out.

"Why don't we just be together now and through college, rather than testing it out?" he was smiling a little now, as though he'd won. He knew he shouldn't step out of line with her, not when she was being the 'unsure Sam', someone he had some leeway with.

"Uhh…because it…I…just don't see…" he wasn't at all surprised by her un-Sam-like reaction to his question. He caught her in a spot where she had to be more honest then she was used to.

"Exactly. So what do you say? Be my girlfriend?" he was grinning now while her left eye twitched, fists clinched. Freddie could see one way this was going to end and it was him on a gurney as he's begging the cops to keep her held back from chasing after him in the ambulance.

"Girl…friend…seriously…" she gritted out as she glared at him, holding herself back from causing harm to his person.

"Oh that's right you don't like labels." he flicked her nose, which only caused her lips to turn white as they disappeared into her mouth. "I guess we could call each other_ life partners_ or _lovers _or better yet significant others. We can call each other whatever you want. What do you say?" he smirked at her with hooded eyes.

He knew he was on thin ice by this point, poking at her like this was only fun when she was yelling at him.

"Benson…" she growled.

"Yes?" he said innocently.

"Stop it right now." each word held warning in them.

"Stop what?" he batted his eyes. With the beams for the lights below bouncing off his face, his lashes looked longer as he glanced at her from them.

"That." she glared, not liking the fact that he was messing with her. It was hard enough wanting it and not being able to have it. Part of her knew he was trying to make the situation a little lighter, yet it still felt like she'd eaten a pound of rocks.

"Alright…" he sighed and leaned forward onto the railing. He leaned into her personal space just a bit and continued to hold onto her now warm hand. "I'm serious though, I do want to be with you now." he tilted his head to the side so that it was pointed toward her and leaning on his folded arms.

"I gave you my answer, so can we just try to enjoy what little time we've got before I go?" her voice sounded sort of defeated, as though she'd lost whatever internal struggle she'd been having.

He nodded and stood up, holding out a hand to her. "Let's go." he smiled.

She took his hand and allowed him to pull her up until they were at eye level. She grinned and grasped his face in a sneak attack, kissing him quickly, before pulling away and heading towards the window.

"Next time just start with that, eh?" she smirked and vanished out through the window.

"Right, I'll try to remember that."

**

* * *

**

That night Carly had decided that she'd give the lovebirds some time alone and went to her now empty room to sleep for the night. She couldn't believe what she'd learned a few days previous, she hoped it all worked out. At least others were taking the incentive to make it happen, she could be glad for that.

Inside the iCarly studio Sam and Freddie scrunched up on the twin air mattress, which actually seemed to work just right. The two were curled up against each other, with a microfiber blanket thrown over their shoulders. Hammy had decided that he'd much rather sleep on an actual bed and bunked with Spencer for the night.

Sam's fingers wrapped around his night shirt as her face pressed into his neck, warmth rushing through her body. It felt colder than night on the air mattress, but Freddie being there made it bearable. Their limps tangled together as they whispered to one another in the now echoing studio.

"I can't believe that this will be the last time in a long time that we'll get to stay up late under a blanket." Sam found herself saying and not bothering to regret it. When the lights were off and it was just them it felt less hostile between them. It didn't make sense to her at times how different they were until they were wrapped up in one another like this.

"I'll definitely miss this the most, you're actually nicest when you're sleeping." he laughed quietly, poking her in the stomach, causing her to squirm a little bit into him. Like so many thoughts this one was a constant, if it had been five years ago she would have stabbed him in the eye with a banana.

"You really shouldn't poke me, unless you'd like to lose those fingers." she whispered with bite. Though she really couldn't ever bring herself to destroy any part of his hands, they were the money makers in their little 'romance'. If she were to in fact ruin them she'd have to kick her own backside.

"You wouldn't, you like my fingers too much." he whispered against her ear, causing her to let out a shallow breath.

Even he knew about the power his fingers had against her skin. Again, it was unfair.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Sure you don't." he chuckled low into his throat.

He turned over then and pulled her against him and got comfortable. Moaning in sleepy pleasure he closed his eyes and rested his cheek on the top of her blond head while she curled up against him, allowed the warmth to envelope her. She could hardly keep her eyes open as she listened to the steady beating heart in the chest of the man whose arms were wrapped around her securely. Those are which she would have to be without for a long while. Those arms which would probably find someone else to hold.

Unsatisfied with the thought of someone else with him, she tried to think of anything pleasant as she started to get sleepy.

'_I do need you…'_ she thought to herself, drifting. _'I do…love…'

* * *

_

**Panda Note:** Well here's part one of the final chapter. Hope it was worth the wait, if it wasn't tell me so in a nice review! I'd get down to the awesome reviewers who haven't logged in but the site keeps switching over to an advertisement and I can't read them. But I thank you all for being so wonderful and awesome through this journey of a fic! I hope you'll all stick with me to the very end. I'll get to finished the next half and have it up soon.


	20. Fin: The Trip and The Beginning

**Disclaimer: **As a final attempt at getting to be apart of anything **iCarly**, I sent in a resume too be a chicken in an episode. Unfortunately they wanted chickens with_**real **_experience being an actual chicken so I was out of that. So then I decided to go along with **Fictions of Legends **to Los Angeles and become cleaning ladies, or janitors for **Dan Schneider**, so that we may be around all that is brilliant, how does that sound Sam-o [**Fictions of Legends**]?

**Panda Note: **As you know this is the last 'chapter' of this story, or rather the second half of the final chapter. My reason for splitting up this one chapter was because I couldn't let you guys wait for so long. I just didn't think I'd finish this one as fast. Expect the Epilogue a little sooner than later, because it's going to be a lot easier.

**

* * *

Chapter Eighteen – part II

* * *

**

Their good-bye was awkward at best. Neither wanted to watch the other leave, but Freddie had explained that he needed to get on the road too, if he wanted to make it there before nightfall. This was a lie of course but only a select few knew it, including Carly who smiled at him as he and Sam kissed one another as though they'd never see one another again.

Roger, Mrs. Benson and Spencer had said their good-byes hours before. Sam wasn't too excited about having to wake up so early in the morning but the promise of bacon had lured her out of Freddie's warm arms.

With their good-byes to their elder folk the trio met up in the parking garage to continue their strung out farewell.

Hammy was particularly sad about Freddie leaving. He at first refused to get into the truck, even when Sam used her warning voice. But with little speech from Freddie the pooch he brightened by many degrees. With a few licks to the face Hammy trotted happily over to Sam's truck and hopped in, followed by Carly. The girls sat there looking at the happy dog between them for a moment wondering what Freddie could have said to cause the change.

Freddie stood outside with a smile on his face as he watched the two buckled up and prepared to drive off.

He climbed into his own and drove alongside the old blue truck, both stopped on the curb right before they exited the parking area of Bushwell Plaza's building.

Freddie looked over and caught Sam's eye and he smiled sadly. Part of him didn't like the idea of the two girls being on the road alone. Then he remembered that Sam was the one driving and would be there to protect Carly and Hammy was with them as well if things got hairy. He always seemed to worry unnecessarily. Even the thought that they could be in danger was ludicrous. Maybe it happened once you really loved someone and want to protect them, even when they don't need it.

All he knew for sure was that a world without his two girls was a world not worth being apart of. It still felt a little weird for him to lump Carly into that sentence in his mind. Sam was _his_ girl in his mind and Carly was his dearest friend. But he couldn't say that Sam was his out loud, especially to her.

She looked at him strangely as he sat there in his car looking over at her, straining his neck a bit to look up.

Carly rolled down her window and Sam smirked at him.

"Benson, you know I can't actually miss you if you don't leave?" she joked and couldn't help but roll his eyes at her.

"Same goes for you Puckett." he shot back with a smile, then as an after thought he said, "Be safe."

Hammy gave a hearty bark to inform Freddie that they were in good paws.

With a final wave good-bye from their vehicles the two drove in opposite directions.

Both drivers glancing out of their rear-view mirrors before either vehicle vanished.

**

* * *

**

Carly hummed to the static of the radio in an attempt to fill up the silence of the drive. They'd been on the road for a good hour without a word from Sam. It wasn't a completely uncomfortable silence but in a previous road trip where it had just been the two there had been more life in the vehicle. Granted they were only going to visit Carly's grandfather for a weekend, but it was their first real trip without others.

By the fourth hour or so on the road they'd reached Spokane and waved a good-bye to it as they headed for Idaho. Still the silence that stretched unnerved Carly to no end. Sam was usually a talker, when it came to their friendship. She knew for sure that they had plenty to talk about, since they hadn't had a chance to spend a whole lot of time during their last year together.

Pretty soon they'd be separated by five hours and despite what she told herself, Carly knew it was going to get harder and harder to visit her and vise versa.

They were making too time though, it was barely almost noon by the time they reached Mullan, Idaho. As they turned to head to the closest gas station Carly took note that one of the street names was called 'Friday Avenue'. They didn't go near that street but her mind was still on it as they turned from Park Street to 5th St and River. Why Friday Avenue was important; she didn't know but it was something that had caught her eye as they passed through. She rather liked when streets were named after days of the week or people or wacky sorts of things. That one in particular let her mind to Friday nights, mostly because they were when the gang would do iCarly, together.

This very thought brought a sad smile to her face as her best friend glanced over at her with a raised eyebrow.

"You alright Carls?" the blond asked turning off the road, at a gas station called 'Polla Oil Co Inc'. Putting her blue truck into park in front of number five, Sam climbed out as Carly followed suit. Hammy placed his paws against the opened window on the driver's side and watched as the two girls met by the gas pump.

"I'm alright, just thinking about how much I'm going to miss our old studio." she sighed and leaned against the back of the truck. "You want me to go get some snacks?"

"Yeah good idea, we'll be on the road for a while and we'll need it." stated the blond going through her wallet to find her debit card. "I'm glad I fed Hams before we left." she glanced over at his stubby legs holding him up as his head stuck out the window, panting.

"He eats like you do." laughed Carly who receive and bark from Hammy. With a happy sigh she walked off toward the mart to get snacks.

Sam placed her card in that she when she first started working for Roger. He explained that direct deposit was the easiest way to go about things. She just had to remember where it was most of the time; otherwise she'd be in trouble.

With the gas pumping she glanced at her dog who continued look at her thoughtfully. They continued to look at one another until the gas stopped flowing into her truck.

"You excited Hams?" she asked as she put the pump back and heading over to the window. He licked her cheek as she scratched the side of his face. "I'll take that as a yes, we just have to make it out of Montana." she sighed.

"I got fatcakes!" stated Carly happily, wiggling the snack before blue eyes. Sam snatched them up and grinned over at her best friend, who worked her way onto the passenger side with a huge back of drinks and snacks.

Once Sam allowed Hammy to go to the bathroom they all got back on the road.

Around one that afternoon Carly decided she'd take a nap, so that she would be well rested for her turn to drive when they reached Bismarck, North Dakota. They'd mapped it all out, thanks to the internet and the neatly folded map sitting on top of the dash board on Carly's side. Hammy provided a nice pillow for the brunette, as the two curled up on the passenger side of the old truck.

Sam took this time to enjoy the quiet of the open road. She noticed that Carly felt awkward after the gap in their friendship, being that they were finally alone, just the two of them. The blond didn't feel that way though, in fact she embraced this as a chance to spend time together, to connect, as strange as that was for her. The last few months had been constantly changing and no part of her felt like Carly was too busy for her. She had just found other confidants to talk with. She saw it more as progress than anything else and still loved the girl asleep on her dog.

With her window rolled down she could smell the damp woods and practically taste Montana. She had a third cousin who lived somewhere in all its massiveness that was the state. For something so large it had so many little towns gaped by opened plains. It was like taking a trip straight through Texas, which shouldn't be done at anytime during the summer.

Her cell phone had been silent most of the morning, which had bothered her more than anything. She hated those girls, who anxiously waited for their boyfriends to call them after a day, which it was slowly crawling to. Freddie, in her mind, was hers, even if she had to beat him and the 'new girl' in his life until that was made clear. Whatever delusions she'd been under that she'd step aside and allow some skunkbag to swoop in and take him, were gone.

In what sort of world did a Puckett just stand aside? Not this one at least, maybe in another universe there was, but not her. The fact that her mind had just traveled off into the 'physics' part of her mind made her somewhat giddy. It was just one piece of her that still held a top spot in her life and she wondered about her choice, where she'd spend the duration of her school years.

Even that was a shock still; she was going to school, once again. Never once in her life had she thought she'd be heading off to college. With her sad excuse for grades and horrible record it was no wonder that the thought hadn't entered her mind. Physics still hadn't put the thought there for her, it was something she found interesting and was more like a hobby, just like cooking. Coming to a final decision had been simple, yet difficult at the same time.

She hoped she had chosen right, for the sake of her future.

By almost 4pm they'd stopped into Butte, Montana for a quick fill up and bathroom break before they jumped back onto the road again. Because this trip was going to take a day and more than 20 hours they planned to make good time by stopping quickly and going on their way. They managed to get to Miles City, Montana by around 9pm the same day they left.

Surprisingly enough Sam had hit her second wind and was wide awake as Carly woke up to find that she'd been out for a few hours. Hammy plopped his fluffy head upon her lap as she sat up and rubbed her eyes.

"What time is it?" she managed to ask the driver.

"It's almost 9:30." Sam replied turning on her high beams upon the deserted stretch of highway. "You hungry?" she asked as she spotted a grouping of bright lights up ahead, signaling either a small town or an area to stop.

"Oh, yeah." she stretched and let out a long yawn. "Food sounds good right about now."

"We'll make the switch as soon as we get to Bismarck, North Dakota."

"We could switch now if you want." Carly suggested, digging around the floor for her bottle of unopened water.

"We worked it out evenly, I drive eighteen hours and then you drive eighteen. If we get there too late at night then I'm crashing at your dorm."

"I know but you must be tired. What with Spencer running in and waking you guys up so early."

"His alarm caught fire." Sam shook her head as she pulled into a drive-thru Inside-Out Burger joint. They were EVERYWHERE.

"I know, I heard Hammy barking for twenty minutes, like that was going to put it out." she laughed as Hammy rubbed his nose into her lap. "I'm only kidding." she scratched behind his ears; he seemed to forgive her right away.

"What do you want?" asked the blond as she looked over the really small menu.

"The Number One with grilled onions and a milk shake." Sam raised an eyebrow. "Vanilla." Carly rolled her eyes as if it were the most obvious answer.

"Alright."

Once the two had their burgers they parked for a moment and Sam stepped out to get something for Hammy to eat out of the back from underneath the tarp they'd thrown over Carly's motorcycle. She'd made sure to pack some of Hammy's food for the trip, in case he got hungry.

She'd trained him well enough not to beg while others were eating and instead ate his own food.

"Who wants some food?" Sam asked grinning into the truck from the outside. Her answer came in the form of a hearty bark and a nice lick to the face. He rarely went for the entire face opting for a cheek or her forehead at times. For some reason the word 'food' set him off much like 'ham' or 'fatcakes' did to her.

Sam managed to stuff her face with her double meat burger and fries in less than two minutes. It was followed by her best friend stating quite seriously "That was the sexiest things I've ever seen." They laughed for a good five minutes until Carly was cry and Sam couldn't breathe.

At 11:46pm they'd passed through more little towns whose names they didn't pay much mind to, mainly because they'd both broken out of the awkwardness from the morning of the trip.

"Can you believe that he'd actually say that?"

"He's a boy Sam, you'll just have to get used to wearing the pants." laughed the brunette.

"I know it's something I have to live with."

There was a momentary pause, on in which Sam had grown used to when this came next.

"I'm sorry that we've missed out on so many talks, about your mom and about what you were going through with Roger and Freddie. I wasn't a very good friend and I should have been the one who was there for you most. I know I'm ranting now but-"

"Carls." sighed Sam as she flicked from low beams to high after a car passed her. She knew eventually that she would attempt this and already had her answer memorized in her mind. "Look, you had your own stuff going on that kept you busy and honestly when it comes to really sad things you freak out. This isn't a bad thing; it's actually great because you're the type to want everything upbeat. I didn't want that at the time, I just wanted to deal with it the best way I knew how and being happy wasn't really part of it. Even after it passed and I was feeling alright I had already grown closer to Fredlumps and you know, feelings came up…" Sam blushed as she thought of the last part.

"I just really hope we can talk about everything, I feel like I missed out on important moments in your life."

"What would you like to know?"

"Are you sure you want to go down that road again?"

"Carly, as crazy and lame as this sounds, I've made some peace with Sarah's death and with Roger. Everything in my life is how it's supposed to be."

"What happened when you, Roger and Freddie went to take your mom to the ocean?" she asked cautiously.

Sam went into a deep conversation with Carly over the events of that entire trip, in detail, it was only fair. Each thing just few from her mouth with ease, like it happened ten years ago.

"I wasn't sure how or why I got over my anger towards Roger but it was gone before I realized it. I just started to think about how I'd never see Sarah again, hear her voice, and smell her perfume all over the house. I knew I missed her more than I thought I would that's for sure. I didn't want to let that happen with Roger, when I had the choice to have him around or cast him off. You know?"

They passed a sign indicating that they were a mere 78 miles from Bismarck, North Dakota.

"Yeah I know what you mean." Carly looked over at Sam, who had been smiling a bit by the mention of her father. It was kind of cute how much he meant to her now. "So Sam, how about Freddie?"

"I don't even know where to start in all that mess."

"You guys seemed like everything was alright between you."

"Everything is alright, I guess."

"Well how did this all happen?"

Even though Carly had been working behind the scenes the whole time, she'd only collected so much information. This had been the primary issue with the whole covert operation. Everything she knew about was through observation, not being apart of it. She hated lying to Sam like she had been but she wasn't sure if she'd be able to ever share what she knew. Surprisingly enough she didn't feel overwhelmed with guilt over the whole thing like she normally would. This felt like it needed to be done and in some part it all worked out. It didn't feel wrong to Carly to want them to be happy when it was so plainly obvious.

"…and I couldn't bring myself to let it happen…"

"Because you love him." Carly stated matter-of-factually. If Sam had been affected by the outright statement; she didn't show it. The truck remained at the same speed and steady hands gripped the steering wheel securely.

"I don't see how." mumbled Sam, as her eyes focused on the darkened road.

"Sure you do, you just don't like it when things take you by surprise."

"I hate it when I'm proven wrong."

"That too." giggled Carly, who shook her head at the blond. "There's nothing wrong with being happy. He does make you happy."

"How can you be so sure?"

"Because I know everything." laughed the brunette, knowing full well that she was getting a little too cheeky for her own good.

"Carls, he's too far away, it'll never work out."

"I don't know, I have a feeling that by the end of this trip everything will be just right."

The all-knowing tone of Carly's voice caused Sam to momentarily turned her eyes away from the road.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing at all." smiled Carly.

"Is there something going on that I should know about?"

"Nope." and Carly meant it. She knew about the idea that Roger and Freddie's mom had come up with, but not all the details. She did know that Freddie knew about their little secret plot. He hadn't said a word to Carly though, which she'd been grateful for. "I just have a feeling that if you guys really try, you'll work out."

"I want to believe that but even he doesn't believe in long-distance relationships. How am I supposed to go into it when he doesn't think it'll work?"

It was like a floodgate to Carly, having the girl driving, sharing like this. One word led to another and before Sam even realized it she was telling Carly all sorts of things that she'd kept bottled up for a few months.

"…I just know that I've always felt this way, I just didn't know what to call it."

"Normal people call it true love, Sam." grinned Carly.

"I don't think I like it." blotched Sam as the time on the clock changed to 1am and they were only six miles from Bismarck. "Thanks Carls." she stated smiling at her best friend. She had started to feel tired once it hit midnight and wasn't sure if she'd make it to her stopping point, but talking with Carly had kept her awake and active.

"No problem, you gave me the easier part of the trip."

"I don't know about that, we'll be entering bigger cities, I should have had you drive the first part of the trip."

"Its fine, I can handle it."

"You sure?"

"Totally."

When Sam's truck passed the 'Welcome to Bismarck' she promised to drive to a gas station to switch for the night. The wind must have picked up while they were driving, she didn't notice at the time though. It was a bit nippy out as she shivered next to the gas pumps. Carly again when into the gas station to grab some coffee for herself as well as a few snacks for the long trip to Minneapolis, which was about six hours or so away. She'd have to stop somewhere in between to fill up again before they actually reached Minneapolis but it was still a pretty long journey.

With a full tank once again, Carly climbed into the blue beast and got ready for her driving shift while Sam grabbed a blanket and curled up with her fluffy dog on the passenger side. She hadn't realized how tired was until she allowed her head to rest against his fur. The moment that the truck started up and Carly started on the misty roads of Bismarck, Sam was asleep.

Groggily Sam awoke to the morning sun blinding her from the side mirror.

"Go back to sleep Sam, we still have another hour before we get to Minneapolis." instructed the surprisingly peppy brunette at the wheel. She didn't look like she'd been driving six hour straight with minor stops must have been getting to her a little. Sam couldn't see any effect on her dear friend as the girl smiled out of the corner of her mouth and hummed.

"Right…" she didn't need to be told twice, she was still a bit tired.

When Sam jumped into the driver's seat it's almost seven at night and Carly's tired from her long driving shift. She doesn't go to sleep though, opting to wait until they've arrived in Syracuse. Since the talk the day before the two had loosened up and Sam was chatting a lot more. The breeze coming through the opened windows whipped their hair about as they turned up the music and sang loudly. It was almost like they were in their own little world as they hit random potholes in the road.

Even Hammy thought he should join in and led his 'awesome' voice to the chorus. All that came out were his bad imitations of wolves and slobber when he got too excited.

With the sun in the sky and nothing short of joy bursting from the young women in the truck, their journey continued.

* * *

Sam wasn't sure what she expected when they pulled up to Carly's dorm building. The school had built this whole new place, something about old leaky pipes in the previous Syracuse dorms. It was a few block away from the school, which seemed convenient enough for her friend. The outer structure was sort of what she pictured an apartment building would look in New York. It was exactly the city but it still had a nice suburban feel to it. It was nice to see a nice deep red brick building once and a while.

What was also nice about it was that it was a single bedroom, studio style place. Carly wouldn't have to worry about a roommate and she even had a place to put her bike.

As tired as the two girls were they managed to get Carly's motorcycle off the back of Sam's truck and into the 'student' parking area around the corner of the building. Tiredly they walked up the few steps of the stoop and through a beautiful glass and wood door. Inside there was a single staircase set in the center of the area and four doors on the first floor. From the outside it looked as though there were about five floors all-together.

"What floor are you on?" Sam asked worriedly, looking at the flight of stairs before her. She was far too tired to climb all the way to the top. Hammy seemed to agree, as he plopped down next to Sam's feet and waited for the two to start up the stairs.

"Actually I'm 1C." Carly grinned, though her eyes were a bit droopy as she pointed to her right at the door next to 1B.

"Thank all the cheese in the world." the blond sluggishly worked her tired limbs toward the door and Carly followed, equally tired.

The door opened soundlessly to a room filled with boxes and a bed set up in the far left corner of the room. Supposedly the movers that Spencer hired agreed to set up her bed for her. To their right were a medium sized fridge and a small cooking area. It was a nice sided studio apartment for a new college-bound student.

The two didn't really care at that moment about changing or even about the fact that it was a maze in there. They saw the bed and both levitated there. Hammy didn't care much either and found a nice corner of the bed to curl up on as Carly and Sam knocked out the moment their bodies hit the bed.

* * *

A blond and brunette stood on the third and fourth steps of a stoop and hugged good-bye for the third time that morning. Sam couldn't believe that she really had to go off on the rest of the journey alone, without Carly. With another hug and a few hundred glances back at Carly, Sam disappeared around the corner, where her truck still remained. It was so strange, how well this trip really had gone. Nothing bad occurred; they stayed on course and didn't get lost once.

But now she was by herself, on the open road to Boston. It was a good time to start, even though it was seven in the morning and she would love nothing more than to be asleep. Yet sleeping in a bed, in an unfamiliar place…without Freddie didn't sit right with her all night long. Carly didn't mention it but Sam could tell that she noticed it.

Even she noticed the difference; she must have woken up ten different times during the night, only to see a long curtain of hair beside her. It wasn't the same fluff of hair she'd grown used to though and she'd groan and try to fall back to sleep.

How was she supposed to get through school without that normalcy in her day to day life?

The open road had no answers for her and Hammy didn't seem to notice her perplexed expression, his head was shoved out the window. His fluffy ears were flapping happily in the wind as his tongue hung out.

"You know what Hams?" she said not looking over at him. "You and I are going to be just fine."

He barked what she assumed was to answer her back.

The miles passed by as the hours did. She stopped in Fort Plain, Amsterdam, Albany, Westfield, Chicopee, Westborough, Newton, and Brookline before she reached the surface streets in which led to her own studio apartment in Boston. She made sure to mark it exactly on the map as well as get that stupid GPS thing that Freddie thought she needed when she first got her truck. Of course to spite him she stuffed it into the glove compartment and refused to use it for a long while. It only seemed appropriate to use it for her lonely trip to her final destination. It worked pretty well, she hadn't got lost once since her truck drove into Boston. The streets were alive that afternoon as a coffee colored building came into view. It looked much like Carly's except that it was something out of a movie. It was only two stories high and seemed to only have the two floors.

After parking she stood on the sidewalk, next to a tree and just stared up at it for a few moments while Hammy sat next to her and looked from her to the building a few times.

It was just like the picture she'd seen online. From what Roger told her there was a married couple living on the first floor.

The stoop was exactly ten thin steps high with a black railing on each side. She took each step slowly, admiring everything around her as if it were going to disappear at any moment.

The door was black wood with a fogged glass in the center. She smiled as she put her key to the building in and pushed the door open.

Because it was a two story building, the door was to the far left corner and the inside for which she found herself was very small. If she could she might be able to fit about ten of her in that tiny space. To her right was a door with a welcome mat on the floor and a nice little hand made plaque that read 'DeFranco'. Straight ahead were about twelve steps that lead to a door similar to the one on the right and nothing else. To the left was another door, which she'd ask her neighbors about soon.

It was right somehow to her. The building.

With a little nod to herself she started up the steps and to the lone door at the very top. It didn't seem nearly high enough; the place below, windows from the outside almost touched the ground. She assumed that their place downstairs had that whole 'basement' feel to it and sunk in farther.

The door opened and she was amazed to find that some of the stuff had been unpacked and assembled randomly around the apartment. It seemed a bit odd that the guys her father had hired would go to the trouble of unpacking.

With a shrug of her shoulders she threw her backpack down near the front door and closed it, after Hammy trotted inside to inspect.

"This is home Hams." she informed him and he padded off, becoming hard to see over the few boxes that were piled up.

With her four-legged companion distracted by his new lodgings, she took the time to inspect everything around her. It was clear that Roger had pre-ordered some house essentials for her; some of it didn't look at all familiar.

Like the few boxes of wires and random remotes. None of it made any sense as she sifted through the boxes. It also appeared that someone had started to unpack and then stopped half way through. A television hung up on the wall, much like the one Carly had received from her father. It looked as though it had all been hooked up properly, from where she was standing. Most of the living room area was clutter-free and it was a bit unnerving how familiar it was to have it set up like this.

Placing some of the miscellaneous wires back into their box she ventured on to some more boxes. Inside a few were random t-shirts, which definitely looked familiar. Most of them were made by Penny, and belonged to Freddie.

"What's going on?" she asked out-loud as she pulled out the one on top 'Fries Matter'. "Why are his shirts here?"

As she stood there his scent seemed to float up to her nose as she continued to stare at the shirt in her hands. Even that caused her to miss the nub that she hadn't seen or heard from in a day and a half. The last time they'd gone this long without some form of contact was during that three weeks after his birthday.

Missing him was still new to her but it was there, deep inside of her chest. It was almost like he was there with her, even though she knew that wasn't possible or probable as some physicists would say, they meant the same thing anyways.

The shirts wouldn't have tipped her off that something was amiss, but as she continued her inspections she was starting to wonder. Half of the boxes had Freddie's belongings in them.

The front door opened; a rustle of bags and a mumbling had her grabbing for the heaviest object she could find. But before she could strike at the intruder she heard his voice, one she couldn't believe she actually missed.

Freddie stood in between the kitchen and bedroom holding two bags of groceries in hand while he looked up at her in surprise. The object in her grip slid out and hit the carpet as she looked at him in bewilderment.

A million thoughts were going through her mind as she stood there. Part of her thought this might happen, it all added up when she found half of his belongings there.

"Sam…" he gasped out, with many levels of admiration rolling off his tongue. It felt so nice to hear her name on his lips again. For a moment at least, thinking for a whole day that she wouldn't see him for a long while. That he'd find someone new to love and that she'd be set on the backburner again. That she wouldn't fight with him, even if it were in a playful manner. It all seemed like the future for them. But there he stood in her apartment, duplex, building, holding groceries like it was normal.

"What are you doing here?" she snapped out, finally gaining some momentum after the shock wore off.

"I live here Sam." he gave her a confused look, as if to say 'isn't it obvious'.

"How? I live here. This is my apartment."

This conversation was moronic, that much she knew.

"I live here too." he deadpanned as he turned and headed into the kitchen area, leaving her to follow after. As happy as she was too see him and smell him and hear his voice this was all very confusing.

"I thought you were going to school in California."

"That's what you get for thinking." he smirked. He meticulously emptied the bags, placing each item in a specific pile for their locations.

"What's going on here Fredlumps?" she scowled, grabbing his forearm and swinging him to face her. Her brows were scrunched up and her lips pierced together tightly.

His shoulders slouched and he sighed, apparently his first approach wasn't working.

"I didn't want you tell you that I got into Boston University and that your dad and my mom got us this place so we could live together." he confessed.

"What? Why would they…I don't…but…"

"I can't believe you're surprised." he rolled his eyes but still had a little smile on his face. "Did you really honestly think that for a second I'd let you get away?"

He brought his hands up and placed them on the sides of her stunned face and brushed his thumb against her cheek.

"Why wouldn't you do this though? Couldn't' you have just told me about all of this?"

"Sam, you would've shot it down before it was final and then I wouldn't get to surprise you like this."

"You call this a surprise?" she frowned. "I hate surprises you know."

"I know, that's why I did it." he grinned. "What kind of world would this be if I didn't piss you off?"

"True, but next time you do this you're dead Benson. That's a promise."

Without warning from the short blonde, she had her lips against his, pushing him against the counter in a frenzy to touch every part of him. The initial shock from her attack wore off in a matter of seconds and he was returning her kisses with just as much passion. It was almost as if they'd been away from each other for years, by the way they were moving about the kitchen, kissing, tugging and shoving each other for control of the situation they were in.

"I can't believe we're finally here." he sighed pulling away and looking down at her. Each time he looked at her like that, with so much love in his eyes, it made her want to punch him. It wasn't possible that he loved her as much as she loved him. Impossible.

The 'un-Sam' part of her wanted to ball her eyes out each time that she realized that he wasn't going anywhere. He wasn't moving on from her.

"Now all we need is something to ruin this moment."

"Like you saying that?" he laughed and pulled her in for a hug. It surprised him greatly when her arms snaked from her sides to wrap around his waist while his remained around her shoulders. They'd never really stayed this way that long and it was just nice to be like this. There was no sight of a possible wedgie in his future as well. Maybe Sam was growing a bit.

"This is so weird." she groaned, letting her head fall into his chest. "Is this where we just be together?" she asked after a moment.

He'd never expected her to just be so forward about where this was going.

"If you want us to be together." he pointed out, resting his head on her shoulder.

"You have some say in this too." she mumbled into his chest.

"I've told you a hundred times, I want to be with you." he mumbled into her hair. The curve of her neck; became a favorite place to put his mouth at that moment. She always smelled amazing; it baffled him to no end. The girl detested being a 'girl' and yet she smelled amazing.

"I know." she conceded, in defeat.

"Then why can't you just let me?" he asked lifting his lips to her ear.

"I don't know. I've always just expected better for you then me." the admittance surprised him a bit. He'd known the real reason but hearing it from her was something new entirely. She didn't like to divulge any of her true feelings or thoughts.

"There's no one better then you. You've got to know that. Be with me." he hated how unbelievably cheesy they were starting to sound. But it all was coming to this point. It all was meant to be at this moment, like a well scripted movie.

His grip all around her tightened a bit as his cheek came to rest on top of her blond head. Long finger worked their way into tangle blond hair, as she gripped onto his t-shirt.

Sam could only stand there in that moment and breathe him in, the real thing was so much more satisfying than a t-shirt. As she began to accept it a bit more, thinking it felt more natural. She was a woman in love and damn it she was going to love her man.

"Fine." she conceded, still with her face pressed into his chest more fully, hiding.

"Just fine?"

"What else do you want me to say?"

"Oh…I don't know…" he started, fiddling with a stray curl. "How about, 'Oh Freddie, you gorgeous piece of man, how I love you so!'" he stated, attempting to impersonate a woman, badly.

She pulled back a bit to look up at him and for the life of him he couldn't place that look in her eyes. He'd seen it a few times and didn't put much thought into it. But now that it was up close and beaming at him behind blue eyes, he had to know what it was.

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Like what?" she asked tilting her head to the side, looking up at him and wondering why he was looking at her strangely.

"Like…I'm a smoked Ham." he smiled suddenly as that statement sank in. "I'm…you…"

"What, Benson?" she frowned as he gave her a perplexed look.

"You love me!" he grinned down at her.

"How'd you come to that conclusion?" there was heat around her shirt collar, inching up to the roots of her hair. The entire room felt like someone had stuck them in an oven and she felt her skin begin to clam up. She knew that the tone of her voice had somehow given away her position in this matter. He knew and there was no hiding it. "Fine!" she bit out, pulling away from him and stepping back a bit. His face scrunched up in confusion as she fussed over the subject at hand. "You're right, okay, happy now?" she glared over at him, which only caused more confusion.

"What…?" he reached his hands out to touch her but she backed away and pointed an accusing finger at him.

"This is your entire fault you little tech nerd!"

"Now wait just a minute, Sam…" he started, sort of insulted by her random jab at him. Normally it wouldn't have bothered him but she was clearly mad about something. This was serious and he needed to find a way to defuse her. Unfortunately he was cut off midsentence before he could say another word.

"No you listen I talk!"

It was enough to shut him up. He leaned his back against the counter while she stood next to the fridge with her arms folded, hip pushed out to the right.

"Okay." he nodded and focused on her ever-moving eyes. They blinked rapidly as they searched about to find the right words to say the guy standing before them.

"I'm mean." she started out. He went to object but she shot a look over at him. "No, I am. I can live with the fact that most people find me to be intimidating and difficult at times. I have the important people in my life, that's all that's really mattered to me all this time." she pushed herself away from the fridge and started to pace back and forth. "I didn't think that I'd get to this point, where I'd care about anyone. That I could even find someone who basically has sunshine coming out of their backside." She looked up for a moment and saw the look on his face. "I know it sounds really lame to say but that's exactly how I see it. You make it impossible for me to get rid of you. I've tried so many times to just cast you off and forget about even feeling like this for you, but you are too persistent. You've got to shove yourself into every little piece of my life, to where I can't scrub you out."

"You're mad that I like being in your life?"

"No you idiot!" she yelled into his face. She marched over to him and jabbed her index finger into his chest. "I'm mad that I'm in love with you! Happy now?"

The room fell silent for a moment as Sam's words sunk into their skulls.

Her shoulders slumped as she lost all her energy in that one sentence. The very fact that it fell out of her mouth was just too much for her too handle.

Freddie couldn't believe it. He knew she cared for him and somehow hoped that she loved him but hearing it out loud sent his heart into a frenzy of new feelings.

"You love me?" he asked as her eyes studied the tops of his shoes. She couldn't meet his eyes after that confession. "I hoped for the longest time that you would, but I just didn't see it."

Her head shot up and she looked alarmed.

"Are you kidding me?"

"No?" he hadn't meant for it to come out as a question, but it came out that way.

"Oblivious…" she sighed.

"No I'm not!" he frowned.

"Look." she began, gaining a bit of strength from his confusion. "I'm not great at being in a relationship or even being a good friend-"

"You're a great friend Sam…"

"Benson…" she warned. "But if you can deal with me not always being all fluff and warmth then I'll…be…your…you know…"

"My girlfriend." he grinned, stretching out the word. "My lover, companion, significant other…my…"

"Shut up." she deadpanned.

"Fine." he rolled his eyes. Then his eyes caught something lying on one of the boxes on the stove and pulled it out. "Your yearbook." he smiled softly.

"Yeah…" she was unsure of where he was going with this.

"You remember me telling you the translation of this?" he asked pointing to his entry. "I lied."

"I had a feeling."

"Most of it was true but I also told you I loved you in it." he laughed more to himself.

"I already knew you did." she admitted, smirking up at him.

"How?" he looked startled once again by her omission.

"You talk in your sleep." she shrugged.

"I do?"

"Yeah you do."

"Oh…" he felt his face heat up a bit. "Then you knew this whole time but chose to keep it to yourself?"

"I was trying to get rid of you."

"I know." he smiled, taking her delicate hands in his big ones. "That's what's kept me going. I also knew that you were going to school out here-"

"So you decided to just ruin your life by-"

"What? No! Sam, I already had this school picked out, but I knew that if I told you that you'd just run off to some other school and we wouldn't be able to be together."

"What about Berkley?"

"I'm not going for Mathematics Sam; I'm going for film study. I can only do it here in Boston; well it's where I want to do it."

"So you've been going behind my back?" there was no accusation behind her statement, she already knew the answer.

"Sort of. You fight for what you want the most and I want you."

"What about four years down the road, Fredlumps? What if you meet a really interesting film student who likes the same things you do and who's all sugary sweet to the point of vomiting? What if you don't want to continue with whatever our relationship is then?"

"Sam, I can't predict the future but if I wanted that kind of girl then I wouldn't be standing in this kitchen, in Boston with you, ready t start our life together."

"Good point."

"That's it?"

"Yeah, you've made a good point. But just so that you understand, you had better not go messing around with some skunkbag otherwise you'll have to answer to ol' Betsy." she raised her fist up to his face.

"You're all the woman I can handle Sam." he laughed.

"Alright so how's this supposed to work? Our parents just decided at random to have us sharing a bedroom together in an unknown city, together mind you. Together." she tilted her head to the side. "We're here…together…alone…together…"

"Right. We are Sam."

"Wow…you're going to be some big shot film guy and…"

"You're going to be a famous Chef." he grinned. "I can't believe you gave up being a lady physicist."

"I love Physics, but I've always loved cooking." she shrugged. "Besides, that scholarship will be opened to me for the next ten years or so. They really want my brain, as surprising as it is. Maybe after two years of cookin' school I'll take them up on their offer." she winked.

"You are amazing…"

"I know." rolled her eyes. After a beat she asked, "you don't think this whole 'moving in together' is a huge leap from dating?"

"Have we ever been conventional?"

"Good point. So living together after just really starting our relationship is something we'd do."

"Yep."

"So insignificant other, how about we get our home in shape?" she asked, glancing around all the filled boxes. Up until this point Hammy had made himself scarce. But he'd heard the two talking and decided to come in to greet Freddie more properly. With stubby legs he jumped up and pressed his paws into Freddie's upper legs.

"I'm guessing Hammy approves?" he asked his girlfriend.

"I think he approves, right boy?" she asked Hammy who turned his head towards her and barked.

"I know I do." Freddie grinned and pulled Sam into another kiss.

* * *

**Panda Note:** Alright guys! This is the end of the story!! I know I know, everyone is a bit sad over it coming to an end. I also know that the 'Seddie' shippers are sort of vanishing so this new and final chapter might not be as anticipated as I hoped. But I know that a lot of my awesome internet friends are going to read this and show some love for the dwindling fandom. Seddie will live once more!

Also I hope you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving!!! Hug your loved ones and send all sorts of love to someone you don't know. Everyone needs some good cheer!

I know I said that it's over but expect the epilogue sooner than later!

Finally, you can find me on twitter, so if you are on there follow me pandaville!

Thanks to my dearest friends: LunaMoody, Fictions of Legends, Cupcakeslam23, Absolutely_M, PinkJelly, Somerdaye and so many more. You guys know who you are! These ladies have kept me on track and inspired me every chapter. You won't find better people in this world than them, so go read their fics!


	21. Epilogue

**Disclaimer:** After 20 something chapters **I STILL DON'T WON'T OWN iCARLY! **What the crap man? No ownage for me!

**Panda Note:** Well hello again! As you know the story is over and this is the last piece. I had this worked out in my head ten chapters ago and couldn't wait to get to write it. But I knew that I had to let the story grow before I could really get to this point. So I hope that you enjoy this sort of overdone complete ending. I don't know if there will be a sequel but I'll think about it for the future.

**SOUNDTRACK INFO - READ**

**Wait! You!** I wanted to tell you about something amazing before you start reading. You can go check it out before you read this or after, it doesn't matter which. I've been working on it for a week or so, a Soundtrack to this entire story. It's called **The Soundtrack To Our Love Story**. You can find it on my profile page with all the other Birdhouse stuff, there's a link to my **LJ** where you can find a nicely made album cover as well as the back, like a CD. There's also links to download these songs. I hope you'll all go over after this and check it out. It's sort of a 'gift' to all of you for reading and enjoying this story over the past few months. It's been a pleasure writing this for you guys.

**OHHH! Sequel is UP, so go read it after this! I repeat SEQUEL IS UP!**

**

* * *

Epilogue

* * *

**

"What fresh hell is this?" snapped an ill-tempered Sam, who slammed down a plate onto the smooth surface of a counter. The goop on it splashed upon contact and covered the surface while the plate stayed intact. "Do you really expect to feed the guests at this restaurant the bile you've scraped off some toilet seat?" she continued with her hands fisted onto her hips.

The three people before her cowered together in a huddle, knowing all too well her temper.

"We're so sorry Ms. Puckett." one said.

"You should be! I wouldn't even serve this to my dog and he eats out of the garbage." she scoffed and blue away a stray hair. "You are dismissed." she informed them and the three scampered off.

She'd taken on three new students from the new culinary arts school up the road and so far they were cooking up nothing but slop. The clock up on the wall informed her that it was six 'o clock at night and she had a taping of iCarly to do in twenty minutes. Groaning she dumped the plate and its contents into the trash and cleaned up before she left.

Freddie and Carly both texted her twelve times in the last half hour and she knew she was in for it when she arrived there.

**

* * *

**

"She's late again!" Carly yelled into Freddie's face. The twenty-seven year old man frowned at his friend as he continued to glance at his watch impatiently. "She knows when we do the show and what time she has to be here. Why does she do this all the time?"

"Because Carly, she's got those new students." he attempted to defend his girlfriend. "Friday's are the worst days of the week for her and I've seen the things they've made, not very appetizing." he cringed.

This seemed to deflate the bubble that had been growing inside of Carly Shay, who allowed the make up girls to work on her while she went through the list of topics for that nights show with Freddie.

"I just hope she makes it-"

Just then a blond blur passed them and stood before one of the mirrors in the back.

"Sorry I'm late guys." explained Sam, who patted down her face with a cloth and fixed her hair. She never allowed the make up girl to apply anything to her face. With her hair in place she turned around and grabbed a clean outfit off one of the racks and rushed passed them. Since it was a small area in the studio building she only had a few places to chance. "Those kids just aren't learning anything at their fancy school. It's like we're back in kindergarten and Gibby's making glue pie." she continued from behind the door of a chancing room. "I'm not their teacher…well I am but I'm not the one who's supposed to hold their hand through every single step. This is beginners work I have them doing and they can't even follow through!"

"Maybe you should go talk to their instructor." suggested Freddie; whose eyes were scanning over the list on his clipboard. As the producer and director of the 'iCarly' show he was in charge of making sure that things ran smoothly.

After the three had finished their respective colleges while keeping up their webshow, they all moved back to Seattle. They couldn't very well leave their family behind and remain in Boston and New York. Surprisingly enough they kept the show going for a few years until they each started their new jobs. Even then it went steady, every Friday night they'd meet up in the old studio in Spencer's loft to film. Then for three years they'd been an actual television show, a sort of talk show or sketch show. They never really knew what to call it but it was one of the top ranked shows on television.

They still did little segments online as well, usually on Sunday.

Carly worked for a magazine as a journalist, while Freddie worked on a number of television sitcoms and movies. He was one of the youngest filmmakers to work on a big budget movie. Even with their successes they managed to stay true to their old ways as members of iCarly.

Sam got through school and worked her way to head chef of a restaurant in Boston. Then they trio moved back to Seattle and she applied at a really ritzy place downtown. Because of her references and recommendations she got the job in a heartbeat. What did didn't prepare for was that the place catered to the culinary school and had their students work alongside chefs. She was straddled with three students each year she'd been there.

Some turned out to be amazing chefs; others bombed and drifted off into other lines of work. Either way she was getting tired of having to deal with people who knew nothing about culinary arts or how to work a stove.

"I already have three times, the guy is an idiot. I don't know where they find these people to teach." she walked out soon after and threw her work uniform on a table.

Carly had long since walked off to triple check on things while Freddie waited for Sam.

"Did you talk to him or 'talk'?" he make sure to use air quote when he said the last part.

"I talked to him, without my fists. The guy doesn't get anything. He's just stupid. I could teach a gorilla to fry up a ham sandwich better than he can teach a student how to boil water."

"Maybe you should." he grinned down at her.

"Maybe…" she sighed.

Despite the chaos around them the two seemed to get lost in one of their private moments.

"Marry me ?" he asked.

"Nope."

They'd had this exchange every Friday that they'd done the show for six years and she would always say no, now it felt like a joke almost. He knew how she felt about marriage but he wanted it. He wanted to make it official, even though they'd been together for eight years and had a pretty great life together. Old Hammy was getting up there in age and yet still was a frisky as he was as a pup.

"Maybe next week." he smiled and kissed her forehead.

"I wouldn't count on it Freddison." despite his constant questioning it didn't hinder any part of their relationship, she was grateful for that. "Let's get moving Mr. Director, we've got a show to get to."

Like every other show they started out by getting the crowd excited for the show and then the two hosts would call out to random audience member to come on stage. It was much like their webshow had been; only most of their fans would perform their talents on live television. They'd usually have a guest star as well or different bands, The Plain White T's were very frequent, as well as Cuttlefish. The two women still did a lot of their old skits as well as random dancing, which the audience enjoyed just as much as they did.

After the show ended the three headed over to dinner with Roger and Mrs. Benson. The two had rekindled their friendship when their kids had gone off to college while Spencer found himself a lady, who could keep up with him and his crazy life.

"Oh do you remember that time when Freddie got his first girlfriend." started Carly, laughing as she and her two best friends sat on the couch. "I think even then you two might have had something." she said as an afterthought.

"Nah, we were barely friends' then." scoffed Sam.

"Yeah and she gave me a wedgie while we were hugging, who does that?" piped in Freddie.

"Apparently Sam does."

"Do you remember when Carly and I go into that big fight because of Fleck and Dave?"

"Yeah those were dark times…" Freddie muttered with a look of fear on his face.

"I still wonder who he would have chosen back then." Sam wondered, glancing over at her boyfriend of eight years.

"You'll never know." Freddie stated. "How about the time that Carly fought against Shelby; that was a nutty time."

"Yeah and she managed to last in the ring with her too." Sam added. "Poor Russian girl though…"

"Yeah…" Carly said sighing. "Remember when I found out about you guys and prom night?" she smiled slyly at the two who each blushed.

"I know we said no more secrets but seriously Carls it was something we didn't want to talk about at the time and-"

"I know." Carly cut off Sam's rant. "You already explained it to me years ago. I'm just teasing you guys."

"So…how's the wedding plans going kid?" Sam asked leaning against Carly's shoulder.

"Pretty much all done, all that's left is a few more fittings and then we'll be ready for October."

"A month away…wow…two years goes by fast." commented Freddie as he looked over at his two best friends.

"So you won't have to change you name." laughed Sam. "You'll still be Carly Shay."

"Yeah I know its weird, isn't it?"

"Not at all, you'll be fine. Davey boy is good for you." Sam got up off the couch. "Let's get this dinner started already, I'm starving!"

"When aren't you starving?" smirked Freddie. "You even eat the pillows in your sleep."

"Well I can't help it if they remind me of Marshmallows!"

Hammy took this time to trot in and plot his old self onto Freddie's lap, his favorite place as of late.

"Hey Hams…" he said to his buddy as he scratched behind his ears. "Aren't you hungry? Don't you want food?" At the mention of 'food' his head popped up and his tail was going a mile a minute.

Everyone gathered in the kitchen for their usual Friday night family meal. Roger and Marissa bickered over a fork, which was hers and he put his mouth on. Spencer sang to himself as he finished making Spaghetti tacos, Carly and David—who had arrived just in time for dinner—sat at the island looking at some video while Sam and Freddie curled back up on the couch. Spencer's girlfriend Lisa was up showering after helping Spencer with one of his recent sculptures. Being with a guy like Spencer meant that you could expect to get a little 'dirty' at times.

"So…Puckett…" Freddie said to his girlfriend, whose head rested on his chest.

"Yeah Benson."

"I want you to marry me."

"I know." she mumbled as she twirled one of his shirt buttons in between her fingers.

"You know eventually you'll say yes." his fingers play with a stray piece of blond hair.

"I know."

"We don't even have to go big; it could be just the two of us at city hall. I don't care how you want to do it but I want to be married to you Sam."

"You win."

"I win?"

"Yeah. You played the game and you won, I'll marry you and make an honest woman out of you." she laughed into his shirt. "But don't tell Carly just yet. Let's wait until after her wedding."

"You said yes, that's all I care about." he brought his other arm up and wrapped it around her.

"Yeah well it was only a matter of time. It took us five or so years to start dating and then took us eight years to be engaged, let's try to make this engagement end faster."

"As long as we don't drag it out for ten years I think we'll be okay."

"You know I love you right? Even though you're a great big dork…"

"Yeah, I love you too Princess Puckett."

* * *

**Panda Note:** I could go on forever with this future!verse but I'll end it right there. Some more Seddie fluff. I was told that it could have ended with my last chapter and that I didn't need an Epilogue but I thought I should tie up the loose ends while still leaving room to write a sequel in the future if I wished to. I'm leaning towards a no right now on that, but this will do nicely and answer any questions any of you have about what will be happening with our favorite couple. It was kind of cliché but that's why we love them so much.

Also I would love to give a shout out to a bunch of people who are sort of in my inner circle of fanfiction-ness and who have constantly kept me going with this story. **Legends of Fictions, Luna Moody, CupCakeSlam23, Somerdaye, PinkJelly, The Infamous Katie, Absolutely_M, KeyLimePie14 KSWheels, Beneath the Stars, iLoveRomance2oo9 **and** What Lurks Beneath.** Sorry if I forgot anyone, but I love you all!

I'll be replying to reviews for the last chapter and this one, so leave emails if you want a reply! If you are on twitter, follow me I'm pandaville and if you're on LJ Friend Me!

See you guys around the outerweb!

**-Panda**


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